What about the separation anxiety after the baby enters the park? Separation anxiety refers to the anxiety, uneasiness or unpleasant emotional reaction of infants and young children due to separation from their loved ones, also known as parting anxiety. What should I do if I show you the baby's anxiety after entering the park?

How to deal with the separation anxiety after the baby enters the park? 1 separation anxiety refers to the anxiety, uneasiness or unpleasant emotional reaction of infants and young children due to separation from their loved ones, also known as parting anxiety. The separation anxiety of infants can be divided into three stages: the resistance stage-crying, kicking and making trouble; Disappointed stage-still crying, then continuing, the noise of the action is reduced, ignoring others, and the expression is dull; The detachment stage.

Harm of separation anxiety

Separation anxiety will cause children's physiological stress reaction, and long-term anxiety will easily reduce children's resistance. Children who have just entered kindergarten are often prone to colds, fever and stomachaches. So many children will get sick after entering kindergarten for about a week.

Children pester their parents all day, constantly asking them to pay attention to themselves, sometimes worrying about their parents' accidents or that unexpected disasters will separate them from their parents. Afraid of being trafficked if you leave your parents.

Therefore, children do not want to go to school or kindergarten, cry after school or kindergarten, do not take the initiative to communicate with other children, and even have physical symptoms such as headache, abdominal pain and nausea. The course of disease can last for several years. An American psychologist found that if the anxiety of early separation is serious, it will reduce the effect of children's intellectual activities, and even affect their future creativity and adaptability to society. Therefore, reducing children's separation anxiety at an early stage is of great significance to the development of his ability and the formation of a healthy personality.

Experts point out that excessive doting in life will affect the development of children's self-care ability; Excessive restriction of activities will affect the development of children's interpersonal skills; The "spoon-feeding" education method will affect the development of children's initiative exploration and creativity, and the lack of these abilities will directly affect the development of children's self-confidence, making them have greater psychological fear and separation anxiety than other children when facing the new environment.

How to resolve separation anxiety

The emergence of separation anxiety is related to children's insecurity. It will prompt children to find someone close to them, or send a signal calling for their mother to appear. Therefore, parents should try their best to make their baby feel the love of their parents and meet his demand for security. After about two years old, the baby's anxiety about separation will gradually ease, and the ability of self-independence will be developed by exploring the environment.

How to resolve children's separation anxiety;

Cultivate the baby's ability to be alone

After feeding and changing diapers, put the child in his mother's room or living room and let him play by himself. As long as he can concentrate on his activities, his parents should not disturb him. In case the child encounters setbacks, try to let him face them by himself.

Give the baby proper help.

Educating some people, things, things or situations that children are afraid of, and helping children understand strange things through step-by-step guidance will arouse their curiosity and then dare to approach or try.

Give your baby an immediate response.

Pay attention to the baby's every move, respond at any time, and let the baby know that the mother has always existed and has not disappeared; When taking a bath in the bathroom or going to the toilet, you can leave your baby at the door. He will see if you are there first, and then play his own games.

Go back and forth to see if it has disappeared until he confirms the fact that mom has been there, so you can close the door, but remember to communicate with the baby!

Resolutely leave when necessary.

Tell the baby when you leave: "Mom will be back soon, and the baby is waiting!" " "And talk to him while walking, and strengthen the baby's determination to wait.

Give recognition and hug.

When a child cries because of separation anxiety, the successor can hug the child, pat him on the back and talk to him to let him know that you know he is sad. You can accompany him, call his mother for him, and give the child a full sense of security.

Transfer the baby's goal

When the baby has separation anxiety, the successor can take the way of transferring the goal or playing games to make the child transfer his thoughts about his parents, such as holding him to find his favorite animal, going out for a walk and playing games. Anyway, the baby has to turn.

It is worth reminding that mom should relax herself. Infants and young children will imitate good behavior and bad behavior, so if parents often have anxiety, over time, it will also affect children to follow suit.

For example, mom often worries about why dad hasn't come home yet. What the hell happened? This tense atmosphere is also easily reflected in the baby, and adults must first adjust their emotions.

Consequences of separation of mother and child

The influence of "separation of mother and child" on children mainly includes the following aspects:

Hinder the normal growth and development of young children

If the separation between mother and child lasts for more than 3 years from 1 year old, then, generally speaking, children may have more serious mental, language and personality disorders during their growth.

Cause personality disorder that is difficult to recover.

For children under 2 years old, the younger the child is when the mother and son are separated, the shorter the separation time is, and the more likely it is to recover from various developmental disorders. /kloc-after 0/year, the older the child is when the mother and son are separated, the lighter the painful experience of separation, and the easier it is for the child's physical and mental obstacles to disappear.

However, in the special period when the attachment relationship has just been established-the separation of mother and child in the second year after birth, it may lead to personality disorder of children and it is difficult to recover.

Bring irreparable trauma to children.

The physical and mental obstacles caused by the short separation of mother and child will soon disappear under good environmental conditions. However, if the child has experienced extreme pain in the process of separation between mother and child, it is difficult to recover even if the separation between mother and child is terminated.

How to make children adapt to "separation of mother and child"

Let children feel the love of their parents.

Mothers should play with their children as much as possible, so that babies can feel safe and happy around their mothers, full of love, attachment and trust. When we meet again, intimate contact and games will prove that my mother loves me and wants him.

Let the children watch their mother go.

When mom goes out, be sure to let the children watch her go. Don't leave without saying goodbye, or the children will think that their mother is gone and don't want me. Be sure to say goodbye to your child in person, tell him what his mother is doing, and don't forget to emphasize that her mother will be back soon.

Let children gradually adapt to separation.

Before the mother is ready to go to work, she can create opportunities for separation by herself, so that the children can gradually adapt to separation. For example, at first, mom can go out shopping in a minute or two. Before leaving, she told the children, "Mom went out to do some shopping and will be back soon. Baby, wait a minute. " A minute later, he came back on time, and the baby believed his mother.

Familiarize children with the new environment

Before the mother goes to work, the baby should be familiar with the new environment and new caregivers. If the child is unfamiliar with the environment and caregivers, it will overflow, causing serious separation anxiety. If you want to ask a nanny to take care of your child's life, play games with your child and slowly extend your time alone with your child. After the baby is familiar with and trusts the nanny, the mother will go to work.

If you want to send your baby directly to the nursery or kindergarten, your mother must take your child to visit there in advance, participate in activities, communicate with teachers and children, make your child familiar with and like going there, and gradually extend the time in kindergarten.

Let the children bring a beloved toy.

If you send your child to a kindergarten or an unfamiliar family (such as a nanny's house), you can let your child bring a favorite toy, such as a doll or a bear, which can give your baby a kind of comfort and warmth in a strange environment and make him feel at home.

Experience the joy of reunion.

Mothers should take their children to play after work, hug him as much as possible, kiss him, communicate with their children more, meet his love needs, let him fully release the emotions that have been suppressed for a day, and help children adjust their mentality. Let him realize that his mother loves him, and she left him temporarily because she had to go to work.

Let children make more friends.

From the birth of the baby, the mother should try to let the baby know more people, let the child trust others and overcome strangers.

Avoid bad hints.

When a child is naughty and disobedient, never say, "If you are disobedient, your mother will abandon you or send you to kindergarten." . These words will hurt the child's young mind, make him afraid of kindergarten, and often aggravate the child's anxiety about separation.

What about the separation anxiety after the baby enters the park? 2 What is enrollment anxiety?

A study by Stanley Greenspan, a famous American child psychologist, found that children around 3 years old will find close caregivers almost every 15 minutes. This is the instinct of all mammals, including humans: after being separated from their mothers for a certain time and space, they need to return to their mothers to gain a sense of security and replenish energy.

What should parents do?

Admission suggestion

Parents can choose some picture books with the theme of kindergarten life before entering school. When reading with children, children can understand the meaning of collective life. They can also praise the kindergarten environment and teachers in the process of reading, strengthen the idea of being happy with children, and make children have a strong interest in collective life.

Familiar with the environment

Children who pass the physical examination can be brought to the kindergarten by their parents one week before entering the park to meet with teachers and children, and participate in courses and games together to reduce their strangeness to the kindergarten.

Insist on picking up and dropping off

At the beginning of children's admission, parents should try to pick them up in person, so that children can adapt to kindergarten life as much as possible and shorten the adaptation period. When children enter the park, they should say goodbye actively and don't slip away quietly. If the child's emotional reaction is large, parents can give appropriate comfort, and must avoid entanglement or solve the problem by threatening.

Handling toys

At the beginning of children's school, parents can let their children choose a familiar toy or book to go to school, so as to reduce the strangeness to the new environment. With the enhancement of children's adaptability, they will gradually cancel the behavior of bringing things.

Friction between positive children

Children will face a brand-new collective life after entering the park, and conflicts and frictions between children in collective life are inevitable. Parents should give their children proper space for independent communication and avoid blind participation. Once a child has friction with other children, parents should try to express their opinions publicly and communicate with the teacher in time.

Everything is ready. Why did you cry when you entered the park?

Entering the park brings double challenges to children: unfamiliar environment+parent-child separation. Commonly used methods, including taking children to visit the kindergarten in advance, telling them stories describing kindergarten life, and even accompanying them, can actually help children get familiar with the new environment, understand the new life norms, alleviate this anxiety, and let children adapt faster, but they can't eliminate the anxiety caused by parent-child separation.

It can be said that separation will inevitably cause anxiety and even great pain. No matter how carefully you have prepared before, it is hard to avoid the heart-wrenching scenes when you send the garden: crying, crying, hugging your mother's neck, punching and kicking … At this time, please take a deep breath first!

No matter how the children behave, it is not appropriate to start a tug-of-war when sending them to the garden, but we must grasp the following three principles:

1. Adults should calm down and relax. Your anxiety will make children more afraid of being separated from you. Although we know it is not easy, it is crucial.

2. hug the child goodbye and tell him: I'll pick you up at night. If the child hugs or kicks, or is angry, gently and firmly open the child's hand and give it to the teacher.

3. leave decisively and stay.

We should not only have a clear attitude of "decisive separation", but also ensure high-quality "intimate reunion" and work together to help children heal the pain caused by anxiety about entering the park.

When separated from their children, parents should first be calm and calm. Give the child to the teacher firmly and then leave decisively. However, separation is only the first step, and then reunion is also very important. Many times, parents only remember to "let go", ignoring the repair of intimate relationship and the healing of pain when they meet again.

The book "Game Power" puts forward the theory of "storing cups". The author Dr. Cohen once said in the article: "Every baby is born with an empty cup. The responsibility of parents is to fill it with "love" and "intimacy" again and again. When the baby's cup is full, he is happy, quiet, clear and willing to cooperate. On the contrary, babies who always hold empty cups are always unhappy, extremely naughty, and even sleep is not practical. "

This theory is a key hint for parents in the anxiety period of entering the park. Separated from family for a whole day, the child's inner love and intimacy will be greatly lost, and we need to provide timely supplement and nourishment to rebuild contact with him.

From picking up the garden to sending it to the garden the next morning, it is an important time to "save the cup". In this process, on the basis of understanding and accepting children's negative emotions, parents should also actively stimulate children's positive emotions, help children repair psychological scars, and save enough energy for another "separation" the next day.

Therefore, when you pick up the garden, you should convey such a message to your child by words and body movements: I really miss you and love you very much. Hugs, kisses and so on.

When parents express their thoughts and care about their children, some children may become wronged and sad. Don't worry about causing children's negative emotions. Negative emotions definitely exist, and it is a good thing to find a channel for expression and be able to talk or vent.

If the child is in a bad state, you can hug and hold hands first and pass on love through intimate body movements. Wait until the child's emotions calm down, then consider a happier game.