A collection of little jokes for girls

In daily life or work and study, everyone must have heard jokes more or less. The following is what I have collected for you. The related content about little jokes for girls is for reference only. I hope it can help everyone.

A little joke for girls 1

1. When I was a child, I saw someone carrying the two ears of a rabbit. I asked my mother, does this hurt the rabbit? My mother told me, Rabbit ears are so long just to make it easier for people to carry. This sentence has always been imprinted in my ignorant mind, until one day, I saw a donkey! That day... I was almost kicked to death!

2. I heard a strange mother and son talking in the subway. Dialogue: "Mom, why are you so beautiful and I am so ugly?"

"Because the air pollution is serious."

"You are lying, you haven't heard of air pollution yet. It can affect your appearance!”

“Yes, it’s because the smog was too heavy and I couldn’t see your dad clearly!”

3. When I first entered elementary school, I mustered up the courage. I confessed my love to a girl in my class, but tragically, I became the laughing stock of the masses for 6 consecutive years. When she met anyone, she would say, "That guy from XX actually treated me... hahaha~" Then I was teased for another three years in junior high school, and I was not let go in high school. To this day, she still brings it up frequently when having dinner at home. I put down my chopsticks helplessly: "Dad, can you tell the stepmother to stop talking!"

4. Wife: "Husband, if I get pregnant in the future, will you cheat on me behind my back?" < /p>

Husband: "No, dear!"

Wife: "Then you mean you will cheat openly?

Husband:...Give Little jokes told by girls 2

1. Dad and mom were arguing. You said something to me, and no one gave in.

After arguing for a long time, my mother was at a loss for words. I heard my five-year-old son look back at his mother innocently and say: Mom, it’s your turn!

2. The younger brother teased his daughter: “Isn’t uncle handsome?”

The girl raised her head, glanced at him silently, bit her lip and whispered: "Yes. "

I couldn't help but be amused, "Well, what do you mean? Tell me clearly, is your uncle handsome or not?" ”

Daughter: “When you need to lie, try to be silent, and when you have to lie, try not to hurt the other person.” "

3. After eating, I was sitting on the sofa to rest. My daughter came to me and asked, "Aren't you going to do some activities after eating?"

I asked her with a smile: " What activities are you doing?"

She said seriously: "You can hug the baby!"

I... Little jokes for girls 3

1. Arguing with a woman is like a license agreement before using a software. You can or can only ignore the entire content and choose "I agree" at the end, right?

2. Reply. I'm home and having dinner at my uncle's house. I'm used to hearing Mandarin outside. Suddenly I heard my uncle speaking a hometown dialect. I didn't react, so I said: Are you from Guangdong too? My uncle was stunned for a moment and asked my mother: Is the child's illness still not cured?

3. My wife has a cold, and she has to carry food and water to the bed, and she even has to be helped when going to the toilet, but she jumped when she heard that clothes were on sale online. I got up and spent half an hour on my phone with great energy. After paying, I went back to bed and instantly fell into a state of illness. If you have money, just tell me and let me know that I am not the only poor one! Little jokes for girls 4

1. A classmate was admitted to graduate school and heard a couple arguing one day . Woman: "You lied to me!" Man: "I didn't lie to you!" Woman: "You are just lying to me. You don't really believe in being with me. Don't think that I don't know that you are with me. Just to steal my experimental data!"

2. Half a year ago, in order to improve my weight, I filled in an Excel table and generated a trend chart.

Today, a colleague passed by my seat. He walked over and then fell back thoughtfully. He whispered in my ear and asked: "Well... can you tell me which stock you have? The trend is pretty crazy." Okay..."

3. I am an orthopedic surgeon and I often perform surgeries. One day, I was undergoing surgery for a fractured tibia and fibula. The patient was a middle-aged man in his 40s. I don't know what happened that day. During the operation, several electric drills were replaced, but all of them were broken, and the operation was not good. At this time, the patient who had been lying there quietly suddenly said: "Let me see, I repair electric drills..."

4. I was bored today, sorting out the text messages on my mobile phone, and found countless Winning situation: I have a bonus of more than 8,000 yuan, 2 Mercedes-Benz, 3 Lamborghinis, 1 Porsche, and one iPhone 4, 5, and 6 each. Several sons, a lost daughter, 10 titles from the general manager, 6 relatives, 2 from the company, and 5 court summonses. *** owes more than 20,000 yuan in phone bills, and his credit card has been maxed out 4 times. 5 Little Jokes for Girls

1. One day, an elephant in the zoo died suddenly. The keeper came over and immediately fell on the elephant and cried bitterly. Seeing this scene, the tourists couldn't help being deeply moved, and they all said: "The relationship between this keeper and this elephant is too deep." Unexpectedly, one person interjected: "This zoo has a rule that if an animal raised by someone dies, Then the keeper would have to dig the animal’s grave. How could he not cry? ”

2. In high school, my classmate loved to fart.

Once, a foul smell wafted over. I asked him: "Did you put poison gas again?"

The girl at the front table turned around and said: "His smell is not like this."

3. The deskmate was doing something I fell asleep with my paper in my hand, and farted in my sleep with an earth-shattering sound, and the smell was extremely unpleasant.

Everyone immediately stopped writing and looked at him, but he had no intention of waking up.

Looking at the teacher’s livid face on the podium, we all tried our best not to laugh.

But at this time, my deskmate actually talked in his sleep. He smacked his lips and said, "It's so fragrant and delicious!"

4. One day, the child kept talking. Crying loudly, the father said impatiently: "Can you be quiet for a while?"

The child said: "Didn't you read the instruction manual the day I was born?" Tell the girl Little Jokes 6

1. Before his 6-year-old son fell asleep, he said to his mother: "Mom, give me the flashlight."

"Why are you playing with the flashlight while sleeping?"

"I'm not playing, I'm dreaming of walking on a dark road and can't see."

2. My son suddenly asked me: "What is a telegram?" I told him: "It means telling what I want to say. Write it on paper, usually only a dozen words, and then go to the post office and ask the staff to send it to the other party via radio."

The son suddenly realized: "Just let the post office send a text message on your behalf."

3. During the summer vacation, a 5-year-old baby wanted to write a letter to his kindergarten friend Beibei, so he asked his father for a pen and paper.

"Baby, you don't know how to read, how can you write letters to others?" Dad asked strangely.

"What are you afraid of? Beibei doesn't know how to read anyway!" Baobao said confidently.

4. My son didn’t do well in the exam, so I beat him up. As soon as he turned around, he asked again: "Mom, I still don't know this question."

I said angrily: "I've told you several times and you still don't know how to do it. Your head will be kicked by a donkey." "?"

The son choked and said, "It was you who beat me like this." Little jokes for girls 7

1. It rained suddenly one night. Lightning and thunder. My three-and-a-half-year-old son woke up from his dream. I thought he would be scared. I didn’t want him to get up and look calmly at the heavy rain outside the window. Accompanied by the rumble of thunder, he suddenly struck a cool pose under the light of lightning. , shouting passionately: "The armored warrior transforms!"

2. A three-year-old girl pestered her father to tell a story. The father said: "Today, let's tell a story about the Pleasant Goat and the Big Big Wolf. The little girl was very happy and said coquettishly: "Daddy, how about you be the gray wolf and I be the red wolf?"

"As soon as the father said "Yeah", he received a big slap in the face, and the daughter yelled at him angrily: "Why don't you hurry up and catch my sheep!"?

3. There is a daughter in the family. , more than one year old, is in the process of weaning. This morning, my daughter clamored for breastfeeding, but my wife didn't agree. She cried... Finally, she went to the bedroom crying. When she came back, she held a dollar in her hand and said pitifully: "Mom. , I only eat one yuan..." Little jokes for girls 8

1. My son went to the post office to mail a letter. The person at the post office said: "The letter is overweight, please put a stamp on it."

The son said: "Wouldn't it be heavier to put a stamp on it?"

2. My father took his 4-year-old daughter to watch a performance at the children's theater. At the ticket window, my father asked about the price of the seats. The conductor said: "The first-level ticket is 100 yuan, the second-level ticket is 80 yuan, the standing ticket is 50 yuan, and the program is 5 yuan. "

After hearing this, the daughter whispered to her father: "Let's just sit on the program list!"

3. The father and his son sat in front of the TV and watched "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms". < /p>

During the commercial break, my father stretched out and muttered: "Soldiers will stop us, and water will cover us. "

The son suddenly asked: "What should I do when my mother is here?"

The father quickly said: "You do your homework, and I will go to the kitchen. ”

4. There is no child more naughty than my nephew! During the Spring Festival, he hid a small firecracker in one of my cigarettes, but I handed the cigarette to him. Relatives who came to pay New Year greetings were given some... Little jokes for girls 9

1. In the composition class, the teacher asked each student to use the simplest sentences to describe his own characteristics. A classmate with pimples on his face wrote: “One wave is not over, but another wave is coming up. ”

2. One day Xiao Ming told Xiao Hua a story. Xiao Ming: This story is divided into 4 paragraphs. The first paragraph is... My husband told his wife that I will give 10,000 yuan to your wife in one month. Okay, but after a month, the husband only got 8,000 yuan, so the wife said there was still 2,000 yuan left? The husband slapped his wife and said: I am making the money, why are you arguing? Continuing with Xiao Ming’s second paragraph, one day my husband Wanting to eat steamed fish, my wife cooked braised fish instead, so her husband asked me why there was no steamed fish? My wife slapped her husband and said: I cooked the food. What are you arguing about? Xiao Ming: Next is the fourth paragraph. Xiao Hua: Then the third paragraph Where is the paragraph? Xiao Ming slapped Xiao Hua and said: I am telling you the story. Why are you arguing? Vote for me.

3. The future tense of "love" In the grammar class, the teacher was teaching the verb Tense. He asked Eileen: "Tell me, what is the future tense of 'love'?" Eileen asked without hesitation: "Marriage!"

4. Class A: Why is duck commonly used? Standing on one foot? Class B: Because it knows that if it retracts the other foot, it will fall.

5. The first-grade primary school students were listless in class. The teacher reminded everyone: "Please take out your hands." Come on!" So the students began to dig through their schoolbags, and finally one student raised his hand and asked: "Teacher, which one is the spirit?"

6. I have a dream: a test paper only has 5 fill-in-the-blank questions, school____subject____class____name____student ID____, 20 points for each blank~I don’t have high requirements, just pass.

7. Teacher. Question: “To answer the question, shall we roll your name? "The students all said: "No". So the teacher asked the girls: "Is it good to ask the boys?" "Okay". Then asked the boys: "Is it good to ask the girls?" "Okay" "Don't we all agree~" High Mathematics In class, the teacher was writing fast on the blackboard, and there was a commotion below. The teacher couldn't bear it: classmates, keep your voice down! A friend said: Teacher, you will get used to it gradually! Teacher, the whole school must wear uniforms. None. The teacher who was in charge of this was squatting at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that this classmate was not wearing a school uniform and asked him why he was not wearing a mourning uniform. ?The teacher sweated to death. One of my brothers was in a higher mathematics class. The teacher asked: "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is our goal in learning calculus? My brother: No cavities! In Chinese class, the teacher said :In fact, weasels do not eat chickens. This is what scientists have found through experiments...

8. The first class in the afternoon is a history class, and the teacher talks in class with great interest.

A classmate nicknamed "San Mao" was lying on the desk and fast asleep. The teacher was very angry and woke San Mao up. The teacher asked: "What do you think Wang Anshi and Ouyang Xiu have in common?" Sanmao blurted out: "They are both from the Song Dynasty." The teacher then asked: "Then tell me, what do they have with Tang Taizong and Zhuge Liang? **The same point?" Sanmao was stunned and replied: "They are both ancient people." There was a burst of laughter in the class, and the teacher just made the mistake and played it as a game, which can also liven up the classroom atmosphere. So he asked: "Do they have anything in common with Sun Yat-sen and Lu Xun?" Sanmao thought for a moment and said, "They are both men." The teacher then asked..."

9. Teacher: “What is the biggest thing in the world?” Student: “Eyelids. "Teacher: "Why?" Student: "As long as you close your eyes, the whole world is covered. "

10. Tommy: "Teacher, Rabin just scolded me, let me see the devil. "Teacher: "So, what did you do?" Tommy: "I came right here, Teacher. "Teacher: "..."

11. Xiao Ming walked to the physical education teacher and said: "Teacher Wang, from today on I will never play football again." "Teacher Wang felt very strange: "Kicking football is a useful sports activity, why don't you participate?" Xiao Ming said: "Today I heard on the radio that 'playing football is an irresponsible behavior. "

12. A teacher from a school praised the master highly that his son was smart and well-literate, and could be used as a reading companion for the master's son. The master said: "Very good!" The teacher went home. Then he said to his son: "Tomorrow I will take you to school. In front of the master, I praise you for being smart, just because you are stupid by nature and don't know a word." Therefore, he wrote the three words "quilt, rice, and father" and asked his son to memorize them in order to answer the question. When he arrived at the school, the master asked several words in succession, but his son did not know any of them. The teacher Said: "Children are afraid of strangers. If you ask them to write a few more words, they will understand them. So he wrote the word "being" for him to recognize, and his son was also at a loss. The teacher said: "What is that covering your bed?" The son replied:...

13. Smart " Teacher, why is your hair bald?" "This is extremely clever. "Then I'll just shave my head." "That's called being smart." "In the store, Xiaogang stepped on the foot of an international student. The foreigner held it in for a long time before saying in Chinese: "Put your foot on my foot, and you also pressed hard." Coach Yuke comforted the defeated boxer and said, "It doesn't matter. In the third round, didn't you scare him too much?" "He's afraid of me too?" "Yeah, he thought he'd beaten you to death." "Removal of belt" A mother took her four-year-old child to the supermarket for shopping. After entering the store, she took off the child's belt. The salesperson asked strangely why? The mother replied: "He has both hands busy lifting his pants, so he can't grab them everywhere." Something...

14. Welcome At the beginning of the new semester, our senior students went to the station to greet the new classmates. I saw a little girl standing next to a big box at a loss, so I took the initiative to help her lift the box. Unexpectedly, the box weighed more than 1,000 kilograms, and I was too embarrassed to put it down, so I had to support it with all my strength. After only a few steps, the girl said to me: If you can't carry it anymore, just get out. When I heard this, I immediately felt angry, put down the box, and glared at her. The girl was stunned for a few seconds, then pointed to the bottom of the box with a red face and said to me: I mean the wheels. ___Explanation A university professor said to his students: "In ancient times, 'LV' meant kissing, mouth to mouth, very vivid." One of the students asked: "If 'LV' means kissing, then 'PIN' Yu And...

15. "In the composition class, the teacher asked the primary school students to write a composition titled "My Dog", which should be no less than 150 words. Little Tommy thought for a while and began to write: "I have a dog, I call him Bobby. I like this dog, it is all black, only its head and neck are white..." Tommy stopped writing and counted. After counting, the number of words is still far behind. He scratched his scalp, thought for a few minutes, and continued to write: "I take Bobby for a walk in the park every day. When it rains, I won't take him out." He looked at it, but the number of words was still far from enough, and sighed. In the same tone, he wrote: "I often give Bobi a bath. He likes to take a bath, and I also like to give him a bath." He stopped writing and counted the words, and found that the number of words was not enough. He scratched his scalp anxiously, looked at the ceiling for a while, and then looked at the ceiling for a while. Look at the blackboard.

After thinking about it, he continued to write: "Bobby likes to eat sweets. I often feed him sweets, but sometimes there is no sugar at home, so I don't give it to him..."... 1. Everyone knows When you speak with headphones on, your voice will be loud but you don't know it. Once in an English class, the teacher asked everyone to study by themselves. One of my classmates put on headphones to listen to music (of course, this is not allowed). In order not to let the teacher see it, he asked the classmate next to him to look out and said very loudly: The teacher came over and called me!! Then the teacher heard the sound and asked him: What's going on? 2. When I was in junior high school, I was the class monitor. Once, I was in geography class and the teacher interrupted me. I was concentrating on reading a novel and didn't care whether it was in class or after class. , a classmate next to me complained to himself: "The get out of class is over. I thought the class was over, so I shouted "stand up", and it became quiet for a while. I felt that all the eyes were focused on me. The teacher smiled and said: You want to rebel. Suddenly everyone burst into laughter, how about me blushing?..."

16. The professor said: "You already understand the concept of 'lie'. Regarding this issue, I have already studied it myself He wrote in his book "On Lies". "Whoever has read this book, please raise your hands." All the students raised their hands in unison. "Very good!" the professor continued, "I have new teaching examples this time. The book I wrote has not been published yet!"

17. In a physiology class, the teacher angrily scolded the class Undisciplined students: "If I catch you disrespecting discipline next time, I will not distinguish between men and women, all..." Before he finished speaking, a student stood up and said: "Teacher, why don't you distinguish between men and women?" Will you be our physiological hygiene teacher?"

18. The physics teacher talks about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, if you touch the cat's fur backwards, you can see electric sparks. " "Oh my God," a little girl yelled, "how many cats do we have to keep in that power station!"

19. My mother said that my IQ is only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is. All I know is that I am a very lethal person, and many people have been hurt by me. Some of them have lost hope in life, and some have even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have potential superpowers, and for some reason, this superpower is especially effective for my teacher. I still remember the first teacher who died because of me. I was in the first grade of elementary school at that time, and the teacher took us to the wild for nature practice classes. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willow branches branching, the teacher couldn't help but think of a question, so he asked: "Students, do you know how to identify the direction of the wind?" "I know!" A little girl in the class answered while picking up the wind direction. A piece of tree...

20. 1. Late one night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep at night, so I sent a text message to a sister I was sleeping with: "I'm depressed, let's chat with me for a while." After a while, the sister wrote back: "Okay, what do you want to talk about? The topic is up to you!" I thought about it and happily replied: "Then let's talk about a heavier topic, for example - your Weight!" After a period of silence, the sister texted back, writing: "This is too heavy, so let's talk about something superficial, such as your IQ!!!" 2 Girlfriends asked their botanical boyfriend : "Today is my birthday! Why don't you send me flowers?" "What?" the boy replied: "Don't you know that flowers are the genitals of plants? Why do we cut off other people's genitals... ....10 Little Jokes for Girls

1: A small temple cannot accommodate a big Bodhisattva

I went to a job fair with my classmates. They applied for the same company, but it looked like It seemed that he was not interested. When he came back, he complained that the girl in charge of recruitment was blind and could not see his strengths. I sneered: "They are well-informed, how can they not see your strengths? It's just that." , people think your strengths are not long enough..." He was stunned for a moment, and then retorted: "Don't you have the same result?"

I replied calmly: "Why am I the same as you? You didn't listen. What did they say to me in the end?" I cleared my throat: "They said: 'A small temple cannot accommodate a big Bodhisattva!'

　2: Invite you to a meal~

My colleague asked me to help her, and I asked why I should help you. My colleague said you help me and I’ll treat you to a meal, so I just thought about all kinds of big meals to help her out. She said, “Okay, I’ll treat you to a meal tomorrow. I’ll bring my own tomorrow.” Bring a pack of pickled mustard to the first floor of the canteen, I’ll treat you to it, and you can add more rice as you like.” After listening to it, I was also drunk.

3: It’s much fun to be with 2B

When we work together, we are usually 2.

Everyone enjoys playing with him. At work that day, I entered the office very excited and couldn't wait to show off the new mobile phone I just bought to everyone. Forget about this nonsense. The next day at work, he came into the office with a slumped head. The director asked him: What's wrong? Isn't it right? 2B said: I bought a new mobile phone yesterday. I downloaded a weighing software in the evening and the download was successfully installed. After finishing, he put the phone on the ground and stepped on it with one foot... No one in the office could hold back their laughter.

4: Can we still have fun?

My second-hand colleagues often use their mobile phones to watch videos. I was watching them again just now. I walked out of the office and saw a few people surrounding me. At the same time, when I heard something about the bra cup size in the video, I grabbed it and said, "Oh my god! This is not bad, the breasts are so big! If you don't want to say anything else, I'll take it to the toilet and masturbate first!" Then everyone was shocked. She looked at me with an expression on her face, and then the girl stopped talking and her face turned slightly red... I'm sorry, can you please say something when you are talking about business via video? Can you still have fun?

5: Tell a joke

A famous entrepreneur personally hosted the interview. I handed in my resume nervously. The entrepreneur didn’t ask anything else, he just said: "Tell me a joke!" I hesitated for a long time and finally thought There is a joke about parrots: "A man went to a pet store to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper said to him: 'We have three parrots. The blue one can speak four languages ??and sells for 1,000 yuan. The red one can speak six languages ??and sells for 3,000 yuan." Yuan, the yellow one can't talk and sells for 5,000 yuan. 'How could this happen?' the man shouted, 'it can't do anything!' 'That's it,' the shopkeeper explained, 'we don't know either. , but the other two call it boss.'" After I finished speaking, I turned blue, knowing that it was over again this time!

6: Are you from a famous university?

Last year. In November, I learned that a news system talent recruitment fair was being held in Shanghai, so I rushed there without stopping. In order to avoid getting wrinkled in my suit on the train, I hung the clothes stays in my hands. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a restroom, put on my clothes, fixed my hair, and went straight to the job fair.

There were more than 20 resumes in the bag, and I handed them over one by one. Unexpectedly, the other person looked at the resume, looked up blankly and asked me: "Are you from a famous university?" I really wanted to get closer. I told her about the century-old glorious school history, but under the spotlight, I disappeared in despair. ;