The year I just graduated from college, I owed nearly 20,000 yuan on credit cards and online loans. It was undoubtedly a huge sum of money for me who had no financial ability at the time. I also once fell into a huge debt. of confusion and self-loathing.

It has been more than a year since I graduated, I have paid off all my debts, and I have my own short-term life goals. If you are willing to listen, I will share all my experiences with you, hoping to help. You think.

Actually, I have been confused since the day I finished the college entrance examination at the age of 17.

I thought I would like my college major, International Economics and Trade, and dreamed of becoming a giant in the trading world and earning countless dollars.

But it turns out that this is just a major with a slightly nicer name. I chose it just because the name sounded fancy. But after getting to know it, I found that I actually don’t like this major and there are too many things to learn. , too complicated. In addition to microeconomics and macroeconomics, I also had exposure to foreign accounting, business management, and even learned web page production and PS. I even suspected for a time that this major was just a string of randomly picked courses from finance, business administration, marketing, and accounting majors. It was a gold-fishing major used by universities to charge more tuition.

International trade practice, which is the only core professional knowledge, is very different from the actual international trade process. When you go to a trading company, you have to learn it from scratch. The only thing that comes in handy at work is English, but how can your English CET-6, which you worked so hard to pass, compare to your English college classmates who have received four years of systematic training? What is the core competitive advantage of our profession?

So, after graduation, when I had a foreign debt of nearly 20,000 yuan and had to worry about my livelihood, I was confused.

In order to make money, I worked in foreign trade for three months based on my university major, but I quit because I couldn't stand the pressure of day and night business and assessment indicators.

I worked as a website operator, but I quit my job after spending 8 months paying off the foreign debt because I was tired of endlessly producing Internet garbage.

In one year, I finally paid off the 20,000 yuan in debt I owed, and I felt more relaxed than ever. However, I didn't know what to do, and I was confused again.

After I no longer had the worries of foreign debt, I began to worry, what is the meaning of my work? Do you work more than 8 hours a day just to survive? These 8 hours don’t actually belong to my life, right?

I began to understand that life is a battle for survival, and everyone is a survivor.

In fact, young people of our generation are often not unwilling to work hard, but they simply don’t know what they like and where to work hard. What we do every day is inconsistent with what we really care about and what we really want to do. So in the end, my initial enthusiasm was exhausted day by day in a job I didn't like, and I gradually became what the older generation calls a young generation who is not enterprising and covets comfort.

In order to change the current situation, I searched a lot about work and confusion period, and also listened to many other people’s opinions:

“Go to the postgraduate entrance examination, a master’s degree is more popular than a bachelor’s degree” < /p>

"Go and take the civil service exam, it will be stable, and you will have a guaranteed income despite droughts and floods"

"Come and learn Python, you will get a job in one month, with a monthly salary starting from 10k"

They gave me too much Having so many choices leaves me with no choice. So I decided not to listen to their opinions and to listen to myself. I want to find “something I’m passionate about.”

But it is not easy to achieve these. Many wealthy and highly educated people are still working hard to find their passion.

Some people will say, "Don't talk about love until you make enough money, or wait until you retire." But love is not a right that only the rich and retired have, right?

So I started exploring, looking for possibilities to turn my passion into a daily job.

But “what is love” and “how can I find my love”?

When I realized that it was impossible for me to define love with my limited knowledge, I changed my mind:

I wanted to define myself first.

Although the person who knows you best in the world is yourself, the person who knows you least in the world is actually yourself. This is what the fans of the authorities say.

I chose to do a professional career planning psychological assessment.

?I remember taking a professional psychological test called the Enneagram. This is a course that has been highly praised by MBA students from internationally renowned universities such as Stanford University in the United States in recent years and has become one of the most popular courses today. , has become popular in European and American academic and industrial and commercial circles in the past decade. Experts say that this test can help people truly know themselves and their enemies; it can help people understand their own personality, fully accept their shortcomings, and live out their strengths. To my surprise, this test actually opened a breakthrough for my subsequent career planning.

The test report showed that I belong to the Type 4 ego personality, and then gave me a three-page report, one of which said this:

"At work , Number 4 often exhibits the following traits: Likes work that is different, can be creative, and even requires talent to complete work. Personal opinions and ideas must be respected in the work environment, and want to maintain contact with special authority. These authorities represent quality in the field of work, not popularity. Feeling that mediocre work devalues ??your own value varies from person to person. It may be building a garden or being a CEO. 4 Number 4 tends to pursue uniqueness, and they don't want to be like others. This is reflected in their actions, and they tend to be a bit unsociable, which will affect their promotion. . . . In addition, No. 4 must recognize their pessimistic nature. They like to experience pain and are easily depressed. It is recommended that No. 4 exercise more and exercise for 2 hours a day. The body will secrete dopamine, thereby getting rid of sadness. ”

After reading it, all I could think about was: Damn it! This is too accurate, isn’t this me?

I just like to be different and hate boring work. I have a disgusting level of self-esteem. I can’t be humble in front of customers for the sake of business. I am extremely unsociable and hate social interaction. I often don’t fit in with the group. I fell into such extreme self-loathing that even my habit of exercising for two hours a day to avoid depression was justified.

For the first time in my life, I had a vivid feeling of being self-analyzed, and at the same time, I also felt a joy of being understood. It gave me a feeling of "So this is the kind of person I am."

Although I know this may be the "Barnum effect", this is the best comfort for a confused person. PS: I have shared this test with my official account Tasang, I hope it can help you.

What’s even more interesting is that the next report also gives a list of occupations that are highly compatible with type 4 personality for reference:

I tried to find out the operable My ideal job plan, soon, my eyes focused on the two professions of "writer and actor", which are also the two professions that are most compatible with No. 4. I started to use my life experiences to correspond one by one.

Do I like writing? Yes, I like it. I will never forget the sense of accomplishment I felt when my essay was recited in the class as a model essay by the teacher in every essay competition in middle school.

Do I like performing? Yes, I like it too. I will never forget the skit I performed at the college art party that made the audience laugh so hard that it almost made me burst into tears at the end.

At that moment, I seemed to understand.

The so-called love is "something that can bring you the most profound sense of accomplishment in your life experience."

Of course, this does not mean that I want to be a writer or a stage actor. But it definitely pointed out a direction full of possibilities for my career planning path.

I seem to have found my passion.

After I found something that could bring me a sense of accomplishment, I decided to turn it into a career, a career that could generate income for me.

It should be noted that it is not shameful to talk about money when you love it. Using love to generate electricity will not allow you to live the life you want. Money will be the biggest motivation to help you maintain your love.

So, I decided to try self-media. The reason is that I can write the words I want to write, and I can take the pictures I want to show. Moreover, all of this can be done with a computer, and I don’t need to work with people all day long. Dealing with others, and more importantly, brings me a sense of accomplishment and income.

I started to learn copywriting and video shooting and editing. I used ps, pr, ae, ppt, learned to make mind maps to organize logic, learned excellent plans, and worked hard to improve my abilities. Can match my ambition.

In fact, when I chose to engage in self-media, a voice often jumped out of my head and said, "No, it might be better for you to be a product manager." I hesitated at first, although I like planning and writing, but maybe a product manager is more suitable for me? Not to mention making a lot of money.

You may have had this thought before. When you make up your mind to do something, there will always be other voices telling you "it might be better to do that".

I call this "other voice" a "thinking villain".

It will constantly compare other things with what you are about to do, and then choose the better one in front of you.

What is a better standard? It doesn’t know, maybe it’s the income, maybe it’s a wider network, maybe it’s not having to work overtime and it’s two days off every week.

I want to say: Give up thinking about being a villain. It will not make you better. It will only make you lose yourself in endless choices. "The pursuit of better" will hinder you. The biggest stumbling block in moving forward.

When you are confused, like me, you can learn to self-analyze, find "things that can make you feel a sense of accomplishment" in your life, and then try to turn it into your career, and then , you just need to work hard to make your abilities match your ambitions.

If your current goal is money, then don’t think so much, seize the best job opportunity you can get now, make money, and pay off debts. We always have to pay for the mistakes we make. .

But after work, please think carefully, "What is it that I love?" Because the debt will be paid off one day, and you still have a long life, and there will always be something. Something to keep fighting for, right?

This is my story, I hope you can also find your love.