1. Coquettishness is just posture, nudity is personality
2. An old Chinese medicine doctor said: Lovesickness makes you less sleepy, secret love never grows old, flirting solves worries
3 , I love you, I will only say it once, believe it or not
4. The fair lady walked in front, turned around suddenly, wow, so ugly
5. Don’t ask me to be the bridesmaid, I'm afraid I might steal your groom by accident
6. Let me tell you, don't look down on people. I have a car, a house, a bicycle and a rental house
7. This kind of love, go away Pass by, pass by, don’t miss it
8. My ideal is very simple, to have a body like Brother Monkey and live a life like Bajie
9. When I study well, I say, I went to take the exam; when I didn’t study well, I said, I’ll go! I passed the exam
10. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater up close. There are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks
11. Girls who like to wear flat shoes are also very stylish.
12. Don’t underestimate anyone, but don’t underestimate yourself either.
13. Don’t tell me that I am not good to you. If I am not good to you, I will still be with you. Together
14. Don’t look back after you leave. From now on, we will never interact with each other
15. The old woman is like a withered rose, which was once beautiful.
16. You were too immersed in your acting, but you were still obsessed after being discovered
17. If you have the ability to do things like work, do it yourself, don’t let me do it< /p>
18. I can choose not to own things that are not within the scope of my affordability
19. Please leave, don’t let me swear “get out”
20. I don’t have the gentleness you want, all I have is this fist
21. Labor and management are not ladies, and dirty words that labor and management cannot say are a thousand times cleaner than lies
22. Women You should be more domineering: I am a man, so who should I be afraid of?
23. You are the first to be beaten, so don’t be too arrogant in front of me
24. How can you be casual without experiencing a few scumbags? Wearing a wedding dress
25. I can love you as long as your love for me lasts
26. If you are well, it will be a bolt from the blue
< p> 27. Nine years of compulsory education ruined my youth, how should I get it back28. Don’t be too pretentious, there is no one in this world who will not feel heartache
29 , Don't cry in front of my grave, I'm afraid you will stain my reincarnation path
30. I am tired of you, and I just want to send you the word "Go away"
31. Although there is no unforgettable love, I have unwavering friendship
32. If you don’t like me, please just leave
33. Being a bitch is a common truth , you and I are just one of them
34. Don’t be pushy with some things, and don’t force some people
35. Girls who are superfluous, don’t wear beautiful clothes to show men, what they like is Without clothes
36. How can you see that my heart is beating for you? Damn, do you still want me to take it out?
37. It’s because of me that you become so happy, you are a big joke to me
38. You care about beautiful women , Forgot about me as a brother, this person is too unkind
39. Why is coffee bitter? Is it because it is not bitter in the cup?
40. Don't make promises to me, I'm afraid you won't be able to give me what I want forever
41. You are the third among the eighteen martial arts masters, but you are "cheap" with swords and guns
42. We are all Poor people who have been hurt by love
43. This is my first time falling in love. I have never kissed anyone, so I have no experience
44. Read out the following words: 簟璁灭 歙艽绱癀穑魍恃偬偬媪钚鲥琡簰, you can be a writer
46. There are no men in the world who are not carefree, only men who are incapable of being carefree
47. Beauty acting coquettishly
, how can ordinary people like us resist it?
48. Who is whose husband? Temporary workers in the capital
49. As long as Tang Monk walks along the road, there will be many monsters
50. God gives women beauty to punish men. QQ is super funny and a bit funny. Funny super cool personality talk
QQ super cool funny talk
1. There are four types of men who are most popular with women. They are tall, rich and handsome, short rich and handsome, and tall rich. Ugly, short, rich and ugly. . . Nowadays, there are four kinds of women who are most popular with men. They are white rich and beautiful, short rich and beautiful, white and poor and beautiful, and short and poor and beautiful~~
2. The legendary seven fairies, rotten girls, otakus, and lustful girls , the scheming girl, the crazy girl, the leftover girl, the spoiled girl, the nymphomaniac! Which one are you?
3. In high school, I had enough money to spend but not enough sleep. In college, I had enough money to sleep but not enough money to spend. Now that I am working, is there not enough money to spend and not enough sleep?
4. If you only have the last 12 seconds of your life, what will you do? The Governor of the People's Bank of China, seize the time to print money; the National Development and Reform Commission, hope to adjust oil prices again; NBA superstar, 12 seconds, the game is over too early; Chinese basketball commentator, in the last 12 seconds, hand the ball to Yao Ming; Liu Xiang, not bragging, I will definitely be able to run the 110-meter hurdles in 12 seconds; Lei Zhengfu, I'm sorry, I still want to do it with Miss Yang...
5. Gao Shuaifu, 嫐! White, rich and beautiful! Male dick, licking! Female loser, Li! Older women are losers and women. If you can understand, just face the wall!
6. Kindergarten students want to go to elementary school. Because I heard that naps are not required in elementary school. I want to go to junior high school in elementary school. Because I heard that you don’t have to sit with your hands behind your back. I want to go to high school in junior high school. Because I heard that teachers in high schools don’t care about things. I wanted to go to college in high school. Because I heard that there is a lot of free time in college. College wants to work. Because I heard that I don’t have to go to class anymore to work. After working, I realized that I still wanted to go to kindergarten. . .
7. This is the legendary car shock. Please consciously control the rhythm. The rhythm is one big, two big, three big.
8. A black driver drove a white mother and son. , the child asked, why does the driver’s uncle’s skin color differ from ours? Mother replied, God created people of different colors in order to make the world colorful. When he arrived at the destination, the black driver insisted on not charging him. He said that he had asked his mother the same question when he was a child. She said that because we are black, we are destined to be inferior to others. If she had given your answer, I would have different achievements today.
9. It’s the annual breakup season again. The home page reminds you that during the Chinese New Year, there will be frequent classmates’ reunions, splitting up one pair after another. Those students who are separated because of the holidays must Keep an eye on your boyfriend/girlfriend!
10. At the end of the year, I changed my QQ signature to: How many days of year-end bonus my boss gives me, and how many days do I wish my boss to live! As a result, my boss pulled me into the office and trained me for a long time. After I returned to my work station, I thought about it and changed my signature to say how much year-end bonus the boss would give me, and how many years I wish the boss would live! Nothing happened after that. On the day when the year-end bonus was distributed, I found that there was an extra thousand yuan in the red envelope! Practical technical tips, let’s learn
11. A, how about it? Have you two insisted on trying it recently? B. We have been trying these days, but it always doesn't work. A. Or less than 1 minute? B. Hey... I went in once, but it only took 12 seconds. A. Then you two should look at the plane tickets.
12. My boyfriend and I broke up - why, aren't you very nice? - I really can't stand him. He's a hole and he's going to come in. Damn, he's going to come into my nostrils last night - ah, then Abnormal, but this won’t break up - the point is that he actually went in, went in
13. The salary is really going to increase in 20xx, and I love the party even more. I can reward my children, and I can My parents praised me, I dared to shout when I saw my wife, I dared to tell my friends when I met them, I wanted to try seafood and bear paws, I dared to grab the food after dinner, I could go shopping in my free time, I could occasionally enter the sauna, and I met beautiful women. My heart is itching, Yaya was so happy in the dream, but the prices have risen again, everything was for nothing.
14. Nowadays, the godfather has done the work of the husband, the mistress has done the work of the Discipline Inspection Commission, the doctor has done the work of the butcher, the teacher has done the work of the businessman, the urban management has done the work of the gangster, and the artist has done the work of the gangster. I have done the work of a writer, money has done the work of law, Weibo has done the work of the media, actresses have done the work of an escort, yellow light has done the work of a red light, prison has done the work of providing for the elderly, and underwear has done the work of outerwear. We did the work of the diaosi
15. The long-term workers lived in buildings and were charged rent by the landlords. One day, the housekeeper said to the landowner, the long-term workers have become rich in recent years. It is not worthwhile for them to live in your house and pay monthly rent. Anyway, they will live in it forever. It is better to sell the house to them and call it public housing for sale. , saying that the house belongs to them forever and they can get back the money they have saved over the past few years. The landlord said, what about the rent? The housekeeper said, take it as it is and give it a Japanese name, property fee.
16. When I was a child, when I saw the pervert on TV grabbing the heroine and wanting to have sex with her, I was eagerly looking forward to the hero coming to save the beauty; now I see the same scene, I am eagerly hoping that the hero will save her. Don't come out to cause trouble. Time is a wretched knife.
17. When you are scared to sleep at night, just fold the two sides of the quilt inward, then lift your feet to fold the bottom quilt in, and tuck the shoulders tightly, and you will instantly feel safe! ! This is what single losers do, otherwise nothing will happen if you just hug the person next to you (￣︶￣)...
18. In winter in Beijing, order whatever you want at a roadside shop Had breakfast. After taking a sip of the hot drink, it was as if all the cells in my body were activated by the warm current. I couldn't help but praise, I didn't expect that although your shop is small, your coffee is quite unique! This is milk, sir, said the waiter, patting the dust on his shoulder. . .
19. One day, the girl was drunk. The boy sent the girl home and opened the door. He found that something was wrong. The girl took out the chess set from home and set up the game. The boy understood it within 5 seconds and slammed the door. Come on, why! (The boy is the red piece and the red move).
20. For mothers, what we say the most is, Mom, where are my clothes? Mom, what should we have for dinner? Mom, can I go out? Mom, I'm hungry. For Dad, the most common words I say are Dad, where is my mom? We all have a good mother, love her and pass it on to her!
21. I was on the bus just now, and suddenly I heard the sound of WeChat clicking behind me. The poster suddenly had evil thoughts in his mind. He turned his cell phone to silent mode and shook it. When he saw the avatar, it was exactly that guy. So the poster sent him a message and Pindao made a hexagram every day. If you are on the No. 9 bus today, holding a brown leather bag, please get off the bus as soon as possible, otherwise there will be a bloody disaster. Then the guy got off the bus
22. The toilet at home was clogged. My father thought for a moment and turned around and went out. Ten minutes later, he brought back three kilograms of loaches and poured them into the toilet. Half an hour later, the toilet was unobstructed. Hmm. , things are like this, from now on I will no longer eat loaches, and I will definitely not eat them.
23. The leather factory closed down! The boss lost 300 million from eating, drinking, prostitution and gambling, and ran away with his sister-in-law! Boss, you are not a human being! Scum! Return my hard-earned money! It won't end well! There must be retribution! Last night while waiting for the bus, this accusatory broadcast was heard repeatedly from the other side. Every word was bloody but eloquent. I didn’t think the content came out until the last sentence. Packages that were originally priced at 200 or 300 are now all priced at 20. Oh, you Is there any?
24. I called my best friend at night and said, "Hey, why did your mother force you to do it?" A fucking voice came from the phone, "I forced him to do his homework..."
25. The professor asked, if you have to go to the toilet during dinner with the woman you like, what should you say appropriately? County Magistrate, I'm going to take a piss. Professor, that's not polite. Mayor, I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be right back. Professor, this is just fine. The governor said, please wait a moment. I'm going to shake hands with a brother. I hope I have the opportunity to introduce him to you tonight. The professor praised, it can be seen that the bigger the leading cadres, the higher their level.
26. The uncle went to the city to see a dentist. As soon as the uncle heard that the doctor said he needed anesthesia, he immediately took out his wallet anxiously. The dentist said considerately, "Uncle, don't worry, there is no need to pay in a hurry. You can just pay after the consultation later!" Uncle, oh! Before anesthesia, I just want to make sure how much money I have in my wallet for the dentist.
27. Do you dare to transfer it and let others evaluate you? A. Cute. B. Lively. C. Terrible. D. Indifference. E. Very well-behaved. F. Mature. G. Beautiful. H. Chic. I. Low profile. J. Disgusting.
K. Fun. L. Easy to get along with. M. Second-hand goods. N. Hypocrisy. O. Idiot. p. Huaxin. Q. Not sensible. R. Fool. S. Madman.
28. In the legal human organ market, corneas are worth US$24,400 each; hearts are worth US$997,700; livers are worth US$557,100; kidneys are worth US$62,000 in China and US$262,900 in the United States. If you have no illness, no pain, no damage to your internal organs, you are already a millionaire. So, don’t work too hard to make money, and don’t struggle with your body.
29. I remember when I was a child, I played hide-and-seek with the children. After the children were all hidden, I went home to eat.
30. Several girls in the subway were playing truth or dare. I asked my companion to join them and asked him to let a certain girl kiss me after he won. He lost the first round, and the girls asked him to kiss me. If they were willing to accept defeat, he kissed me on the cheek. I went back to continue the game and lost again, and was asked to kiss me again. This happened several times, but I finally couldn't stand it anymore and rushed out of the subway when it arrived. Looking back, he was taking out money and giving it to the girls one by one in the carriage. What's wrong?
31. Nowadays, hospitals don’t let you know the sex of your child when taking B-ultrasound. On the day I went to the hospital with my girlfriend, a pregnant woman had just finished a B-ultrasound and was about to leave after seeing the doctor. Before leaving, the pregnant woman told the doctor, "Doctor?" There's a big discount on baby clothes right now. I want to buy it early to get a better deal! Do you think it would be better for me to buy black clothes that are cooler or pink clothes that are more cute? The doctor smiled slightly. Black looks good. This is also a kind of knowledge. I have learned it.
32. Shanglian, one project, two computers, three The lunch box is only for a salary of 4,000, and all the organs are ruined. I still have to get up at 7 o'clock and have a meeting at 8 o'clock to deal with nine loopholes. It is very hard; the second link, ten years of coding and nine years of overtime, I am so busy that I am so busy that I don't recognize my relatives and my body is still sore and weak. Ban is alone all his life because of two bad guys; he criticizes and forces programmers hard.
33. CCTV 1: We are happy and you envy them; 2: We love to tell bad jokes; 3: Watch singing and dancing, thinking about people’s livelihood and democracy; 4: Japan and South Korea are tossing, Hong Kong and Macao obey; 5 Sets, big ball to see the world, small ball to see China; six sets, movies are free to watch, and the war is fought every day; seven sets of the central government, the army is powerful, farmers do not suffer; eight sets, there are no good domestic films, only new Thai and Korean movies are broadcast; opera channel , you must listen to Peking Opera, because you have no choice.
34. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing and found nothing. The next day, it went fishing again, and it was still the same. Just after it arrived on the third day, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted, "If you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will crush you to death." What you give is what you want to give, not what the other person wants. Living in your own world is worthless!
35. I saw a classmate’s signature and wrote, The country has taught me since I was a child not to throw used batteries away. Damn it, I'm 22, and the state didn't tell me where to throw it!
36. A text message came but it was 10086, a phone call came to remind me to pay off my credit card, a knock on the door meant to check the water meter, the QQ online prompt sounded but a news window popped up, and I clicked on an unread email but it came to my mailbox. New features have been added, and a new comment finally popped up at the top of Weibo, but it was a request for mutual followers. . . Although this feeling is silently lost, we are still looking forward to it... aren't we?
37. I suddenly discovered that when single and unmarried eldest children like us, who have elders above and juniors below, go home for the New Year, they have to be able to go to the hall, go to the kitchen, visit relatives, and meet classmates. , I can withstand praise, I can withstand pressure, I can check homework, I can repair toys, I can tidy up the room, I can handle the electrical appliances well, I feel like I am an omnipotent Transformer! ! !
38. A drunk driver was stopped by the traffic police. The moment he got out of the car, this guy picked up a bottle of Wuliangye and drank half of the bottle with a raise of his neck. Then he said while drinking, I was not driving under the influence, I was drinking after driving. Now that I have drunk alcohol, I can no longer drive, otherwise I will be detained for 6 months. My car is parked here. If you park illegally, you can give me a ticket or tow it away. I took a taxi and picked up the car tomorrow.
The traffic policeman was at a loss...~
39. I have been studying for 12 years from elementary school to university. I believe that by singing songs for 12 years, I can become a new star in the Chinese music scene; After practicing sports for 12 years, I will become a national athlete; playing e-sports for 12 years, I will enter the WCG; playing piano for 12 years, I will become a young boy; playing basketball for 12 years, I will be a top high school player; but I After studying Xi for 12 years, I am nothing.
40. I was taking the bus home from get off work, passing by a stop sign, and turned around to see a girl running towards the bus, but the bus started to start beautifully, and the story of a hero saving a beauty suddenly emerged, and I was very passionate. He shouted, "Master, stop the car!" Just when everyone looked at me, I saw the girl getting into someone else's car, so I got off in the expectant eyes of everyone
41. Sometimes, we are like The fish in the fish tank has a lot to say, but as soon as he opens his mouth, it turns into a string of ellipses. . . . . . In the end, they all remained silently in my heart. . .
42. The police caught the terrorists and tortured them to death. Finally, the police took the terrorist to a warm bedroom and covered him with a warm quilt. He slept comfortably until 7:30 in the morning, then suddenly opened the window. The cold wind blew in outside and the alarm clock rang. The terrorists even cried and shouted, "I will say anything, I will say anything!" Let me sleep for five more minutes, just five minutes!
43. Blind date is painful, blind date is tiring, and they are not a good match after being together for a long time. He used it with cigarettes and candies, but it was still yellow after all. Parents followed, family members followed, all talking and frowning. Some say it's bad, some say it's good, and some say it's bad. Ask about your family, ask about your age, it’s not okay to farm at home. My heart is troubled, my face is smiling, and I am shocked when I see the other person. Picking up height and shortness, picking up fat and thinness is like buying pork at the market. Look at the facial features, look at the appearance, no discussion if the reaction is slow
44. A pregnant woman was in unbearable pain during labor. The doctor recommended to her husband the latest high-tech product, the DNA Pain Converter, which can convert the pain caused by the newborn to the mother. The pain was quickly transferred to the biological father. The husband agrees. At three o'clock in the afternoon, I gave birth easily and smoothly, but my husband felt no pain at all. The doctor was very surprised. On the same day, bad news came from my wife's workplace. The top leader suffered inexplicable severe pain all over his body, induced myocardial infarction, and died suddenly in the office at 3 p.m.
45. Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality comes from who I am, and my attitude comes from who you are.
46. A country man crossed a bridge and fell into the river with his small four-wheel tractor. In the blink of an eye, the man jumped out of the water, and others pulled him up. After landing, the man burst out laughing. People thought he was scared out of his mind and asked: What are you laughing at? Why are you laughing? The man asked, I am still alive and my fur is not injured, isn’t it worth laughing? People with a sound mind can find reasons to be happy, no matter how unfortunate they encounter , but you are still alive and can do many things while alive.
47. After being on Weibo for a long time, I often act like I know more than others in real life. I already know the news they talk about, and I already know the Internet words they say. I'm tired of it, I can't even laugh at the jokes, and I don't know much about gossipy celebrities. . . Alas, I always put on a noble and cool look towards them. . . I'm really not pretending, you know. . .
48. The first time she came to London, the first time she encountered heavy fog, she got lost and lost her glasses. At this time, you heard the soft Mandarin ringing in your ears. Are you lost? Where do you want to go? I'll take you. The man led her around and quickly reached her destination. After parting, looking at his face blurred in the mist, she asked curiously, "Are you blind?" He smiled and replied, No, I am from Beijing. .
49. McDull said, if you are not happy, just sleep and let it go. It's OK to be sad, but it's not OK to hurt your stomach. McDull said that you must know how to cherish and protect everyone around you. Because of the broken necks and looking back in the previous life, we have met in this life! McDull said that if you have something to say, don't wait for the other person to understand it, because the other person is not you and doesn't know what you want. In the end, you can only be sad and disappointed, especially in relationships.
50. This is the first time I heard that putting condoms in your wallet is a good luck charm because it contains semen (gold)! ! Hahaha, don’t forget to carry TT in your wallet, just in case.
51. My back felt uncomfortable yesterday. I went to the drugstore to buy two plasters. When I walked to the family planning supplies, I saw a This is Durex with granules. It is said to increase a woman's pleasure. The promotion is very tempting. I have never used it. I bought a box and wanted to try it. I called my girlfriend and told her, but she blurted out, don't buy it. It's a bit deceptive. It doesn’t work! ! ~Why do I feel something is wrong? Super funny stories
1. My wife married me when I didn’t want to.
2. Waving the flag of your virginity partner and doing it for free.
3. The pretense should be meaningful, and the coquettishness should be tasteful.
4. If a man has a little money in his pocket, he will not have any money below the waist!
5. There is no cow dung anywhere in the world, so why should we have unrequited love for a piece of shit?
6. Among hundreds of birds, you are the first, and among thousands of kings, I am the most respected.
7. I can’t tell you what’s good about you, I just want to see you take a shower.
8. The value of life is equal, and there is no distinction between high and low.
9. Beauty is happiness, happiness is flowers and leaves.
10. People’s loneliness can sometimes be seen physically!
11. Life is easy, life is easy. Life isn't fucking easy.
12. Everyone is a prisoner, and the phone number is the number.
13. When people take books home to review, I go home to preview.
14. The most romantic thing in my heart is growing old with you.
15. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I promise you my life but don’t want it anymore.
16. Tomorrow is my birthday, do you believe it? Anyway, I believed it.
17. If you can think of me in the future, I hope it will be a warm moment.
18. Happiness is to find a warm person and live a lifetime.
19. When the road is rough, let’s coax you, and then we’ll leave.
20. The price of pork has increased recently, and your worth should have increased as well.
21. God spreads wisdom to the world, and I am clever and hold up an umbrella.
22. Time is always old, the palest miss, the most roundabout injury.
23. Half of my life is unlucky, and the other half is dealing with unlucky things.
24. Fahai should not use the tower to suppress Bai Suzhen, he should suppress Gong Linna.
25. I am willing to be your best audience and watch you show off from beginning to end.
26. Do you like someone and still haven’t given up?
27. One day, Little Bear went to cut his nails, and then he turned into Xiao Neng
28. Tell you, don’t force me. If you force me, I will pretend to be dead. Look!
29. Don’t show off your power in front of people with little power, show off your power in front of people with power.
30. First line: It may seem like it; Second line: But it may not be impossible.
31. After all, I wear glasses, how can I tease a decent woman?
32. People who don’t like me can cause trouble in your heart. I feel really comfortable.
33. When you say that my brother is very handsome, I want to say to you, congratulations on getting the answer right!
34. Falling is not terrible. What is terrible is that when a person falls, he is very sober!
35. In my next life, I will be an onion, and I will make anyone who bullies me burst into tears.
36. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out long ago.
37. Sleep is an art. No one can stop me from pursuing art.
38. In front of a beautiful woman: if there is danger, you must save her; if there is no danger, you must save her even if there is danger.
39. I turned her from a girl into a woman, and she turned me from a man into a poor man.
40. You are the only one in my eyes who speaks human words. You blocked me from copying my homework.
41. Please pay attention to the foodie around you, because he may burst to death if you are not careful.
42. All the stupid words in the world exist to express your IQ.
43. There is always someone whose text message can make you smile immediately.
44. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!
45. I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship", and I only did the first four.
46. When I get angry, winter will come; when I get angry in winter, I will become a man in long johns.
47. Women don’t want to spend money, unless they don’t come to their aunt, and men don’t want to spend money, unless they come to their aunt.
48. If you blindly pursue novelty, I’m sorry, but it will be difficult for you to survive in this world.
49. Next time a man scolds you for having thick legs, just reply that your legs are thin, and all three of your legs are thin.
50. I want to be your sun, warm you when you are happy, and bask you to death when you are unhappy.
51. I know that there is always a banquet in the world, but at least, I want to have a good time at the banquet!
52. When doing a question, you should try to figure out the intention of the person who asked the question. Teacher, he wants me to die.
53. We are all like children. We act nonsense because we rely on you; we are polite because you are an outsider.
54. Since I got together with you, all my goldfish have died. They say you smell like cat.
55. Secret love is a kind of politeness, narcissism is a kind of pride, and open love is a style. Not being in love is a taste.
56. When I say I like you, will you hug me and say: Damn, I didn’t tell you earlier!
57. In the workplace, one should be like Conan, with the domineering attitude of letting others die wherever he goes.
58. You will feel lonely when eating alone, but not when eating snacks alone. I really can’t refute it!
59. I want to study hard and make progress every day. When they grow up, they will be the boss’s wife, and I will be the boss’s wife when I grow up.
60. I shot a tree once in spring, and in autumn it produced many ginseng dolls! .
61. I have always thought that I am a talent, but I was wrong, I am not! I turned out to be a genius.
62. Mom: Dad and mom are fighting, which side are you on? Son: I'll stand far away, don't hurt me!
63. There is only one earth, so everyone must take care of it; there is only one earth, so everyone must take care of me.
64. Sincerely seek investment, support, and relief. Anyone interested can chat privately. I don't accept mercy, I am a person with a backbone!
65. A friend said: Those who are good-looking and like to eat are foodies, and those who are not good-looking but still like to eat are called foodies! Oh what a painful realization.
66. I heard a foreigner crying on the phone on the subway: You don’t love me at all! You are only with me to learn English!
67. Love till the end of the world, seas and rocks turning to pieces, heaven and earth becoming one, these are all lies of love. I just want to hold your hand until the last second of my life!
68. Chatting with a female classmate and asking, what are you doing? Answer: I just took a shower and now I am waiting to do it. Question: What tone did you read dryly?
69. When my little niece plays Plants vs. Zombies on the iPad, she does two things: harvest the sun and plant potatoes for the zombies to eat. She thinks the game breeds zombies.
70. I went to have my fortune told: Master, what do you think I can be in the future? Director? Or the village chief? The master pointed out: Young man, it is difficult for you to be a parent!
71. The old man went to the bank counter: Miss, I want to withdraw money. The lady said: Ring the number! The old man held it in for a long time: The king of heaven suppresses the tigers of the earth, and the pagoda suppresses the river monsters!
72. Doctor, I can’t sleep recently, I’m in a bad mood, and I can’t eat. What’s wrong with me? The doctor asked: How old are you this year? Me: 15 years old. The doctor said: You haven’t finished your homework.
73. I have only admired 3 men in my life! The first is Dong Yong, the second is Xu Xian, and the third is Ning Caichen. One is an immortal, one is a demon, and one is so fucking crazy that he won’t even let go of ghosts!
74. Can I meet you across the Milky Way with stars? I am not afraid of the distance, I just hope to be by your side right now. The past is like smoke, lingering in my dreams, adding to my longing, pursuing the love that will remain unchanged in this life for thousands of years.
75. That day you held that thing and shook it up and down, telling you to be gentler and not too fierce, but you just didn’t listen, and the result was that I was so sticky and wet that I told you to open the champagne. Will squirt!
76. I feel like mosquitoes in early summer are like girls in their 18s or 19s. They have no skills or experience, and everything is just gentle. Mosquitoes in late autumn are like forty-year-old women, they are experienced and can be as cruel as they want.
77. My dad started to use WeChat, so I pretended to be a stranger and added him, hoping to fool my dad. Today, he started talking to me about having a son who was not living up to expectations. Hey, talking too much brings tears to my eyes!
78. Who said there are no beauties in Tsinghua University? My aunt is the golden phoenix. It’s not that I want to be a wolf of color and use idiots as banks. Who said there are no beauties in Tsinghua University? I am the queen among women. She has beautiful features and a big butt, and is full of emotions and strong sexual desire.
79. Hundreds of thousands of people went to battle, just to go to the countryside and earn money. Graduating from college is not valuable, and everyone loves to be a village official. I haven't been used to doing housework since I was a child, and now I have to be a parent. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to do anything, as long as you can fill in the exam paper!
80. There is a child downstairs in my house who loves to sing Lu Binghua recently. One day the song started to sing again: Stars in the Sky, so I shouted in time: "See the Beidou!" That kid hasn’t even found a callback yet! qq is super funny and talks about domineering girls
1. Cow dung is cow dung. No matter how fragrant you are, flowers will generally not be placed on your body because it would be degrading to your beauty
2. I think you are a professional net-weaver, and you specialize in catching penguins.
3. The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a birdman.
4. Bitch is hypocritical.
5. If I say that you are a fool, I will praise you.
6. Don’t cheat on exams, just fuck you. Don't panic if you cheat, just pretend to be confused if you get caught.
7. The cold eyebrows are shameful to the adulterer, and the loose soil is willing to be the cow under the skirt.
8. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.
9. Spring is sleepy, summer is lackluster, autumn is weak, and winter is just the right time to sleep.
10. You are slowing down the Internet speed and consuming too much memory.
11. Your voice is like Shakespeare and Zorro, scratchy and left-field.
12. You are the junior brother of Sun Wukong and the senior brother of Sha Wujing.
13. Cows are ordinary people, while cows are literati.
14. It’s not your fault that you are ugly, it’s your parents’ fault, but if you come out to scare people, then it’s your fault.
15. You need to reinvent the wheel.
16. Your baby, your baby, you are the fullest, you have salty golden dates in your mouth, dogtail grass in your nose, your eyes are like light bulbs, and your nose is like urine. You think you are a silkworm baby, but in fact You are a big idiot!
17. Live well, because we will die for a long, long time.
18. In the relationship between two people, if only one person has to work hard to mix the honey, will the other bee turn into a fly in the end?
19. I think workers are the most beautiful people! Without the hard work of workers all over the world, what would we eat? Without the labor of laborers, what should we wear? You don’t have food and clothing, so why are you so beautiful?
20. I talk too pretentiously about which singer I like, but I haven’t heard a complete song by them.
21. Great men all tell us to be ourselves, but we all only fall in love with the stories of great men and are obsessed with their classics
22. Long Very innocent. He looks sorry for the people and the party.
23. Why don’t you walk on the great road of the world?
24. Life becomes lonely; 2. Ideals become a cup; 3. Games become all-nighters; 4. Porn photos and selfies become; 5. Food fears become; 6. Certificates become fake; 7. Women and men become 8. Boys become effeminate; 9. Life becomes virtual; 10. Marriage becomes flashy.
25. The first-come, first-served question. Didn’t your mother tell you that you have to queue up to buy things?