A collection of humorous short sentences for reference:

1. Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you!

2. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

3. Rich people eventually get married.

4. Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being deceived.

5. You are not afraid of being used, but you are afraid of being useless.

6. Other people’s money is my personal belongings.

7. If a woman pleases herself, she will be beautiful, but if a man pleases himself, he will be poor!

8. Despite the green hills, there is still no firewood to burn...

9. Strongly protest against the insertion of TV series during commercial breaks!

10. Even if God does not entrust me with any great responsibility, it will still tax my mind and my muscles...

11. When I have no money, I eat wild vegetables at home; when I have money, , eating wild vegetables in the hotel...

12. My principle is: I will not offend others unless they offend me; if they offend me, I will get angry!

13. People will always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.

14. Occasionally, you will feel happy if you are silent for a while, but it will be miserable if you are silent for a while...

15. The generation gap is - I asked my dad: " What do you think of "Chrysanthemum Terrace"? "Dad thought about it and said: "I haven't drunk it before!"

16. You are not good at first glance, but it is better to take a closer look.

17. You can’t eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man is eaten in one bite!

18. A woman who knows a little about a man ends up becoming his wife, and a woman who knows everything about a man ends up becoming an old woman.

19. While God gave us youth, he also gave us acne.

20. If something goes wrong, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

21. I was also an infatuated person back then, but it rained... and I drowned.

22. Money is not everything, sometimes a credit card is needed.

23. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

24. I hope one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, select a hundred dollar bill, press "ctrl c", and then "ctrl v" repeatedly.

25. People are afraid of being famous as pigs are afraid of being strong, men are afraid of being poor and women are afraid of being fat.

26. If being rich is also a mistake, I would rather make the same mistake again and again.

27. If marriage is the tomb of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

28. Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try several times on surrounding trees.

29. Everyone has at least one dream and a reason to be strong.

30. Mature people don’t ask about the past, smart people don’t ask about the present, and open-minded people don’t ask about the future.

31. Love is like two people holding a rubber band. The one who gets hurt is always the one who is unwilling to let go!

32. If the heart has no place to rest, it will wander wherever it goes!

33. After meeting me, you will suddenly discover: It turns out that being handsome can be so specific!

34. If you didn’t study when you were a child, your mother said: “When you grow up, you will be married to the pork seller Wang Laowu.” Now I educate my daughter: “Study hard and you will be able to marry the pork seller Wang Laowu when you grow up.” Five. ”

35. I ordered two dishes from the canteen at noon. When I ate the first one, I was shocked: Is there anything more delicious than this in the world? I cried after eating the second one: It really does exist!

36. Cherish life--If God lets you live, he must have his arrangements.

37. For work, if you take a step back, the sky will be brighter; for love, if you take a step back, the sky will be empty.

38. We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

39. Mom said it’s best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

40. If a man doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a woman is too realistic. If a woman doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a man is too carefree.

41. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

42. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, please be careful not to get hit.

43. Look into my eyes, and in addition to eye drops, you will see perseverance and sincerity.

44. I will definitely be reincarnated as a woman in my next life, and then marry a man like me.

45. Sleep is an art - no one can stop me from pursuing art!

46. Not only do I own a car, I also drive my own car.

47. There was gold under a man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t even find a piece of copper!

48. If you see a shadow in front of you, don’t be afraid, it’s because there is sunshine behind you!

49. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

50. What’s the use of being “handsome”! In the end, he was eaten by a "pawn"!

51. The four great tragedies in life: a drop of sweet rain after a long drought; meeting an old friend in a foreign land, a creditor; a night of flowers and candles in the wedding room, next door; dreaming when the gold medal is named.

52. Love is like playing basketball, there is offense, defense, and sometimes fake moves!

53. I stayed in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: if all the coins were heads, I went to class. After hesitating for a long time, I decided not to take the risk.

54. A successful husband has more money than his wife can spend, and a successful wife finds such a husband.

55. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have human thoughts. If a pig had a human mind, it wouldn't be a pig - it would be Bajie!

56. There is a monkey in the zoo that is so ugly that everyone vomits when he sees it. One day I went and I vomited; one day you went and the monkey vomited.

57. Others spend money and money, but I spend money and money.

58. A long time ago, lies and truth were bathing by the river. Lies were washed first and left wearing the clothes of truth, but truth refused to wear clothes of lies. Later, in people's eyes, there were only lies dressed in real clothes, but it was difficult to accept the naked truth.

59. Roses are yours; chocolates are yours; diamonds are yours; you are mine.

60. In a threesome, there must be my master; among the three swordsmen, one must be strong; in a love triangle, one must be injured.

61. When men have no money, they hate women for being tacky; when they have money, they hate women for being tacky.

62. I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

63. I can’t play chess, calligraphy and painting, and I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking.

64. I have been sad and shed tears, and I have been heartbroken. This is the price of "two".

65. You will never see the time when I love you the most, because I love you only when I can’t see you. Likewise, you can never see me when I am loneliest, because I am loneliest only when you cannot see me.

66. What makes you tired is not the mountains in the distance, but the grain of sand in your shoes!

67. Driving is not difficult, just worry about new people.

68. Happiness means scratching an itch when you feel itchy. Unlucky means being itchy but not being able to scratch it. What’s even more unfortunate is that for a long time, neither the soul nor the body can feel the itch that is about to itch.

69. In the spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in the autumn I harvested many handsome boys. Then I changed the name of the village to "Handsome Guy Village", and I became the village chief as I wished.

70. Women are divided into two types: those who are married and those who are not married, and men are divided into two types: those who marry voluntarily and those who are forced to marry.

71. Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

72. Mistakes are temporary regrets, while misses are permanent regrets.

73. Economists say: only the flow of funds will increase value.

Later I discovered that it was my funds that were flowing and other people’s funds that were increasing in value.

74. I will be good friends with anyone who says I am fair, thin, and beautiful.

75. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting inside the toilet or waiting outside the toilet.

76. Once I saw my second uncle buying vegetables, I blurted out: "Second uncle, are you buying vegetables?" The second uncle said: "It's such a big statement, even a person can't say it."

77. Are you bored at work? Just toss a coin and play, go online if it's heads, go to sleep if it's tails, work if it's upright, work hard if it's tilted, apply for overtime if it falls to pieces, if two coins fall, throw it every day!

78. When my teacher told me the definition of "handsome guy" when I was a child, I couldn't understand it. Later, my classmate brought me a mirror. Oh, suddenly I understand!

79. Comrades: Don’t speculate in stocks. The risk is too great. It is safest to make tofu - if it is hard, it is dried tofu, if it is thin, it is tofu brain, if it is thin, it is tofu skin, and it is gone. It's soy milk, but when it gets stinky, it's stinky tofu. It's a sure profit but not a loss.

80. The ideal of life is an ideal life.

81. Men deepen their friendship because of tobacco and alcohol, and women make their friendship deeper because of their complaints.

82. To love someone, you need to understand and forgive; you need to apologize and thank you; you need to admit your mistakes and correct them; you need to be considerate and considerate; you need to accept but not tolerate; you need to tolerate but not condone; It is to support rather than dominate; to express condolences rather than question; to confide rather than accuse; to unforgettable rather than forget; to communicate with each other rather than to explain everything; to pray silently for each other rather than to make many demands on each other.

83. Don’t force a man to lie, he will hate you; don’t take his words seriously, you will hate him.

84. One day Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend, and he kept crying and crying... and then it sprouted...

85. When a man deceives a woman, it is called teasing; when a woman deceives, it is called teasing. Men are called seduction; men and women deceiving each other are called love.

86. "Why do people have two ears?" Grandma said: "You can go in with one ear and go out with the other. If the light can't go in, it won't fit."

87 .Let everything take its course, be calm when encountering difficulties, be calm when you are proud, and be calm when you are frustrated.

88. When you are above others, you must treat yourself as a human being; when you are below others, you must treat yourself as a human being.

89. If you can still be impulsive, it means you are still passionate about life; if you are always impulsive, it means you still don’t understand life.

90. The true meaning of an iron rice bowl is not to always have food to eat in one place, but to have food to eat wherever you go throughout your life.

91. As soon as you close your eyes and open them, a day passes. Once your eyes are closed and never opened again, a lifetime has passed.

92. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately - in the end he killed all the students.

93. No more eating pork, just watch the pigs run away.

94. When paying wages, the accountant said to me: "You should get your salary once every six months. The change is too little now..."

95. Remember what you should remember. Forget what needs to be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

96. What is more precious than gold is integrity; what is broader than the sea is tolerance; what is nobler than mountains is morality.

97. A person may need very little in his life - a glass of water, a bowl of rice, and the words "I love you." But I hope: you poured the water, cooked the rice, and said I love you to me personally.

98. Life is like a card game! It’s not about catching a good hand, it’s about playing a bad hand.

99. When you point your fingers at others, please don’t forget that three of your own fingers are pointing at yourself.

100. Find a boyfriend who is like EXCEL - hide if you want, filter if you want, delete if you want, if one is unhappy, I won’t save it!

101. Love makes people forget time, and time also makes people forget love.

102. Sleeping is for working hard, and working is for sleeping.

103. If you want to succeed, you should use perseverance as your good friend, experience as your counselor, prudence as your brother, and hope as your sentinel.

104. A man without money is like a dish without salt, lacking some flavor. Warm reminder: Too much salt is not good for physical and mental health.

105. My current dreams determine my future. So let’s sleep a little longer.

106. Many years ago, there would be a rainbow after the storm.

107. Nostalgia - not because of how good that era was, but because you were young at that time.

108. When I went to the hospital for a physical examination, I passed by the facial features department. After careful examination, the doctor wrote "handsome" on my physical examination form.