? There are always a lot of smart people: they are the watchers of the mind, subtly sensing your preferences, and writing their high points with N more than 1w+: "You can fall in love with Mr. Zuo, but don't forget to marry Mr. Right. I hope you can find the person who treats you as a princess's pet as soon as possible. "Some people are delighted, and seem to have found a long-lost spiritual comfort, and regard it as a standard. Some people are silent, and they don't know whether they are right or left. If they argue, they seem to be ignorant and narrow-minded.
? The following is not hatred, no matter right or wrong, my humble opinion, just entertaining myself.
"People who only love themselves don't have real love, only arrogant possession"
? The fans of these so-called arguments admire love most: "A father is like a brother and a son", loving her like her father, respecting her like her brother and obedient like her son. And when I take it for granted, this is nothing more than the "exquisite egoist" mentioned by Professor Qian Liqun. They don't care about the boys' hard work and busyness, but they care about themselves, their feelings and their own income. Their exquisiteness lies in ps's own beauty, famous brand, dazzling academic qualifications and outstanding ability. To be honest, apart from this group of Bai Gujing, ordinary people really don't have the confidence and capital to flaunt their independence and self-improvement. Their subject matter is nothing more than a slave who follows her lead, obeys her orders, and obeys everything. With the melodramatic inner world, to put it bluntly, what they are looking for is not love or lover, but a father who loves her selflessly. The so-called "the sound of love and the harmony of the soul" is just a fig leaf of egoism. Although the cloth is no longer needed now, they are eager for generous and selfless love and care.
It never occurred to them that for normal people, they both need to love and be loved. Between lovers, if these two needs cannot be met in each other at the same time, there will be a potential crisis (mistress and mistress will appear). The person who is used to being hurt had better not think that when he meets a pure father-type man or a pure mother-type woman who only wants to hurt others, you meet a person who is willing to be loved by you, but you should pay attention to the fact that this love is not an unlimited credit card and can be overdrawn at will. In this vast universe, who is Iron Man who doesn't need someone to hurt him? It's still an old saying, "the blessings are limited, please cherish them." Dante said: Love is mutual. Simple love and selfless love will only happen in a social relationship, that is, the love between parents and children. In an exclusive interview with New Weekly, Teacher Wu Zhihong mentioned China's love model: China people's emotional model generally stays in Oedipus. A man looking for a wife is looking for a "mother", and so is a woman looking for a husband. "This is both male and female, so don't lady that some ladies think so, and men are not so good.
The German psychologist Heiliger once put forward the theory of three separation of life. Incomplete separation at each stage will lead to the psychological characteristics that personality is not independent, immature and self-reliant, which should belong to the previous stage: "Because of the inseparable connection with family of origin, the confrontational relationship generated in the partnership is that the problem of family of origin has not been solved. Only by successfully solving all kinds of entanglements in family of origin can the partnership be solved. "
? By way of digression, this is really a defiant proposition. Moreover, after the concept of "family of origin" was introduced into China, China's disciples and grandchildren played the word badly, and family of origin's problems were always found, and family of origin's education problems were always found. I really can't accept this calmly. I could think so 18 years ago, but in my own economic independence, It's really wrong to throw out such remarks after spiritual independence. For such ignorant "knowing" elements, I only admire that Mr. Guan Jun's "Nothing is great" can make fun of such a theme as "xx is evil" which is limited to discussing with the roundworm in his stomach. Please think about this topic and pollute other people's values while playing.
Today, in the combination of the magic of the market, the strong will of the country and the characteristics of oriental philosophy, every lucky child has to struggle to grow up under the wings of his parents, saying that separation is neither realistic nor polite. Few parents are willing to "separate" their children mentally. Hard-working parents have to give their children a ride after work and a ride after marriage. However, we have always laughed at foreign family relationships as "heartless": we were kicked out of the house at the age of eighteen or nineteen. As for love, did you ever think that the word "elopement" was actually born in Britain, and only the fertile soil of freedom and self-reliance would give birth to desperate and true love? Westerners talked about the weather, pets, hobbies, spirit and value during the dialogue, instead of the "garage ticket" in If You Are the One. No matter how deep it is, it can't be discussed. It doesn't have that level, and it has nothing to do with what we said today.
you are good to me, I am good to you, and two good things are put aside. "
? Yesterday, I overheard a sentence that touched me deeply: you are good to me, I am good to you, and two good things are put aside. These words are pure, simple, and without worldly defilement, just like the clear spring water that cleanses people's hearts and lungs.
this may sound a little stingy at first glance, as if this love can only be driven if the two sides reach a balance in exchange, which is similar to "love is just knowing how to owe each other." Meaning, but if we can't respect human nature in this era, what's the difference between living in the ideal utopia in Animal Farm (party member wants to talk about politics, I'm talking about fairy tales). This "good" contains too many meanings: giving, accompanying, attracting, caring, understanding, being born, and growing with the spirit.
? "Jane Eyre" said: Love is a game, and we must always be equal to each other, so that we can depend on each other for a long time. And "you are good to me, I am good to you" formally and directly reflects this kind of interactivity. The game is of a nature, which reflects a balanced trading wisdom, while "dependence and cherish" reflects the beautiful state of harmony. Whether this premise is love or marriage, it applies. Although the preservation period of love is short, it will not last forever, but it can be nirvana in the form of love of members in marriage. "You are good to me and I am good to you" can be both a way to get along with each other and a state. Its essence is harmony and mutual benefit, which is a great respect for human nature. "Two good things are put aside and one good" is the best reward for those who love.
? Drunk, sleep.