On the contrary, when futures are unprofitable, I have never been depressed, although I am bitter, bumpy and even desperate. On the contrary, it has become braver and more energetic, because it has been disliked by leaders since childhood and loves trading: naughty, unruly, disliked by teachers, disliked by counselors when they go to college; After work, outspoken, or arrogant, or something, anyway, is not popular with the leaders. In a word, although I have a good popularity among my colleagues or classmates, I just can't stand the people above. So I always have a sense of crisis, I want to get ahead, I want to be financially free, I want to rely on myself, and I don't think I can rely on others or the company, so I chose trading as the ladder of my life. Therefore, despite my constant failure and pain in the transaction, I still want to change my destiny, and I seem to see this hope and realize it. I seem to be able to change my belief in diaosi at my fingertips, which has always supported me without any depression.
However, after I made a profit and got the success factors I dreamed of, I began to suffer from depression. In about 2005 or 2006, I had obtained the so-called money, a house and a car from the transaction, and I began to have the idea of dying. Of course, not as rich as everyone thinks. I am not rich, but the problem of money is no longer a problem. You can easily go to high-end places (except official star private clubs) without looking at the price casually.
But at that time, as if from 2006, I suddenly felt that life was meaningless and boring, and I couldn't afford to do anything. Even if you make money in the transaction, you can't stimulate the excitement of your brain, and occasionally you will flash the idea of death. Seeing the crowds and cars running around in the street, I will occasionally flash "I might as well hit a car and die. I should be happy if I die." When I realize this idea, I can't get rid of it. I will keep flashing all kinds of thoughts of death. When I walk on the bridge, I will flash across the idea of jumping off the bridge. When climbing a mountain, the idea of jumping off a cliff will flash across your mind. The thought of dying in a car accident will flash across my mind while driving. In short, I am bored, chest tightness, head tightness and heart tightness. I'm not interested in anything, and everything feels boring.
I've been thinking, too. What is wrong with me? Why do I live vigorously and confidently when I am down and out, but after harvesting the so-called success factors, I suddenly feel that life has lost its meaning. Is there something wrong with my heart? Because psychological problems were still a sensitive topic at that time, no one wanted to say that they had problems in their hearts and would be called mental illness by others, which was discrimination. So I looked up some information and suspected that I had depression. My various signs were very similar to the characteristics of depression.
Why do I get depression? I started thinking. Oh, I figured it out at that time, just like climbing a mountain. When we struggle, grit our teeth and climb the mountain, according to common sense, it is impossible for my body to climb such a high mountain. Even if I run out of body, it is still far from the mountain, but my belief supports me to continue climbing. I want to climb to the top of the mountain to see the mountain, so when my body is overdrawn, completely overdrawn, completely overdrawn, finally, I climbed the mountain and saw the small mountain range, but at this time, suddenly my body was paralyzed, because my body was completely overdrawn, my faith was realized, and suddenly I lost my faith. At this time, my body began to attack and I was paralyzed.
My trading life is like climbing a mountain. I have experienced too much pain and suffering before, and my body and mind are overdrawn, but my faith supports me. But when I really realized what I was pursuing, I suddenly lost my faith, and my tired body and mind began to torture me, which made me suffer from depression.
After realizing it, I began to change, trying to change myself, injecting new blood and vitality into my life and establishing new beliefs. At that time, I began to try to fall in love with sports, because I had to make up for my poor health before, so I spent all my time on sports by bus. I like swimming, football, basketball, skiing, golf and even table tennis. I will continue to challenge myself in these so-called sports, such as swimming. I want to learn not only breaststroke, but also backstroke and treading water. These are all very difficult. This is also a new challenge, a new belief, which will support me and divert my attention. I keep setting small goals in my life. It is not difficult to achieve, and it is also very exciting to achieve. ?
At the same time, I want to change myself, start to go back to school, do my favorite research and meet new friends. I didn't trade for two years after graduation, but I have been engaged in some economic research, thinking, thinking about economy, philosophy, history,, and so on. These are all my changes to my life, changing the simple trading life in the past, including now, and giving you some.
Of course, it is quite difficult to say that depression has been completely eliminated now. Now, I still have the idea of death occasionally, but it has been greatly reduced, so I have recovered. I am constantly pursuing the change and enrichment of my life.