In mid-April 2021, I conducted a four-day first-stage course study at China NLP University (Changsha). Thanks to instructor Guo Haiping for his wonderful teaching. I will review it after studying for nearly a month. Many It seems that I have forgotten, and many of them seem to have become subconscious. I will re-excavate and review them and summarize them from the following aspects:

NLPNLP, N-neuro, L-liguistic language, and P-programming. Translated into Chinese is "mind-body linguistic programming", co-founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder***.

They started by deciphering the language and thinking patterns of successful people. After creatively decoding their thinking patterns, they discovered the laws behind human thoughts, emotions and behaviors, and summarized them into a set of Programs that can be copied and imitated.

NLP has created multiple methods of deciphering the code of thinking. These include belief change, sensory adjustment, use of subsensory elements, meta-language models, timelines, communication strategies, anchors, physical and mental system interaction management, understanding levels, perceptual positions, twelve presuppositions, frame changing methods and other techniques. , are all methods of studying people’s inner systems.

NLP is a comprehensive knowledge that combines Bolsian Gestalt Psychology, Satir Family Therapy, Ericksonian Strategic Hypnosis and Batesonian Communication. It creates a uniqueness that none of these four have.

NLP studies how personal thinking can determine a person’s life!

1. No two people are the same;

2. One person cannot change another person;

3. Effectiveness is more important than reason;

4. We only live in a subjective world shaped by our own sensory experience;

5. The meaning of communication is determined by the other party’s response;

6. Repeating old practices will only lead to old results;

7. There are at least three solutions to everything;

8. Everyone chooses to act in their own best interest;

9. Everyone already has the resources to make themselves successful and happy;

10. In any system, the most flexible part can best affect the overall situation;

12. There is a positive motivation behind every action!

1) Zhongzheng: Use abdominal breathing, focus on a certain part of the body or scan the body, tell yourself that I am here, focus on the center of the chest, and tell yourself, I am Openly, bring your attention to the center of your head and tell yourself, I am clear.

2) Presence: I understand that what I am thinking about and seeing is in the present moment, within reach of my surroundings. To do this, as the Buddhists say, when you carry water, you are carrying it. Water, when you cut firewood, you are chopping firewood, and when you cook, you are cooking, instead of thinking about it but not here. To achieve this state, your thoughts must be concentrated, focused and sharp, and your insight must be strong.

3) Self-reflexivity: My understanding is that you can see the emotion behind the emotion, which is the root cause of the current emotion.

There are three types of things in the world: one’s own, take care and be responsible for one’s own, others’, respect and accept, and God’s, cooperate and adjust.

In class, the teacher asked two people to play a game. One person imitated the actions of the other person opposite. We concluded that if your eyes closely follow the hands of the person opposite, you will You will find it difficult to follow, but if you open your eyes a little and don't focus on a certain point, and just spread forward, it will be easier to follow. This is peripheral vision! If our eyes are fixed on one point, we will look at this point very carefully, but if we need to take care of a lot, we can use the method of peripheral vision. Like when we play basketball, we have to use more peripheral vision, so that the range of your observation and attention is wider.

This also reminds me of the image reading method I learned before. It is also about not focusing on a certain line of words, but seeing the entire written text at a glance like taking a photo, using the memory function of the right brain to form a whole Memory, catch up on reading comprehension after you have an impression, combine the left and right brains, you can learn quickly and improve memory!

In addition, we played another game. In a row of messy numbers, we were asked to count the numbers we wanted as quickly as possible. As a result, we were able to count the numbers we were most concerned about, but we asked questions later. , and found that I had no idea whether other numbers appeared.

Experiments tell us that where we focus our attention is what we see. Therefore, in daily life, when we look at children and lovers, do we see good or bad points in design?

From this, there is a good way to change the focus, which is the 5R success method:

1) Refocus: that is, focus

2 ) Redefine the meaning: Redefine the meaning of the thing or behavior, such as smoking. The previous meaning may be that it is manly, but the new meaning may be harmful to health.

3) Redefine the position: If smoking, if If you want to quit smoking, list more than 10 bad aspects

4) Reorganization: Re-adjust the original process elements

5) Rearrange the order

Building affinity includes three levels: written expression 7%, voice tone 38%, and body language 55%. Therefore, you should pay more attention to the latter two levels. If a sentence with a bad literal meaning is said in a happy way with a smile, it is estimated that the other party will There is no sense of criticism either.

Affinity includes three types, quick affinity, instant affinity, and deep affinity:

1. Quick affinity, usually within 4 seconds, including looking at the other person’s eyes, smiling, shaking hands, Call the other person's name. I often run in the morning, and I always meet Sister Mei from the same neighborhood. Every time I meet her, I just wave. When I met her that morning, I shouted "Good morning, Sister Mei," and she immediately smiled at me in response.

2. Instant affinity, that is, the above words, language, body, etc.

3. Deep affinity: Mainly at the conscious level, if two people meeting have established deep trust, communication will be smooth.

Communication is not control, nor is it a command. We should avoid killer words such as "but, but, is, should", but use unified language structures such as "Yes, I understand..., and at the same time... ".

In communication, imitation is the most effective way to get close to the other party, making the other party feel on the same page and friendly, including imitating the other party's speech, tone, speed, body language, expression, etc. The process of imitation requires "putting yourself in the other person's shoes" and empathizing with the other person. Many things can be solved through tough times.

I once had such a case: One day, I had a meal in a restaurant with my lover and my children, and I ordered a piece of spicy chicken. When I first tasted it, I felt that the taste was not very authentic. Some of the chicken was cut too big. It was small. When I picked up a big piece, it tasted weird, as if it was undercooked. Then I opened a bigger piece on the plate and saw that it was still raw. I was immediately annoyed, but my subconscious told me to eat it. Leng Jing saw that the counter was busy. After waiting for a while, he called the lady at the counter who looked like a manager or boss. He pointed at the meat calmly and told her the situation. She immediately shouted, "This is really true." It's too shameful, they are too anxious, no matter how anxious they are, they can't be like this." I immediately felt much better. The manager was still very empathetic, and then she said, "I told them to be careful, don't make any noise about this dish. "For a moment," "No, we're just telling you," I said. Later, I saw her walking to the kitchen, probably muttering something, but we didn't say anything after checking out and leaving the store. It turned out that she felt a lot better. .

1) BVR

The first letter of the English word belief, value, and regulation.

2) Rules

Rules are the ways and practices of arranging and handling things, which are determined by our inner beliefs or values.

3) Belief

Subjective judgment of how things should be, the key stages in the formation of beliefs: imprinting period (0-7 years old), imitation period (8-13 years old), Social period (14-21 years old); the way to form beliefs comes from past personal experiences, observation of other people’s experiences, indoctrination from trusted people, and summaries from self-thinking, etc. Limiting beliefs (viral thoughts) need to be broken:

1) Helpless, incompetent, I am a victim;

2) Hopeless, impossible, I will not allow success ;

3) Feeling of worthlessness, not worth it, not qualified, I don’t deserve success or happiness, etc.

Techniques for breaking limiting beliefs - breaking the box, breaking the should be like this, the trust mentality (this is your responsibility), and the no way (there are always more than three solutions to everything).

4) Value

The meaning of things and the benefits gained from them. If you want to like something, you can re-give it more than 7 good meanings, preferably more than 10. How to push someone? Find the value he cares about and create, increase or transfer it. For example, the values ??that children care about: mystery, novelty, unexpectedness, variety, fast pace, excitement, challenge, competition, being able to help others, getting recognition, etc.

What do I want? This is a life-long issue. There are many things like health, career, happiness, freedom, wealth, etc. We use the left brain and the right brain to think and sort respectively. At the same time, we assume that from now on, life will only be 20 years, 5 years, 1 year, 1 month, until there is only the last day left. , have your most important values ??changed? When we are at our own memorial service, assuming we are looking at our body lying in the coffin and delivering a eulogy to ourselves, how will we evaluate our life? Maybe at this time, you really want to understand what value you really pursue. This is death meditation.

1. Gradual withdrawal method-eliminating negative emotions

This technique can only deal with one thing at a time, eliminating or reducing some negative emotions caused by something.

2. High self-worth heart anchor

Heart anchor: Any time a person enters a combined and intense state, if someone (or oneself) puts a certain The stimulating behavior is performed at the peak of his experience, and this experience and stimulation will be combined. For example, when you are particularly excited, you can touch a specific point on the back of your hand, etc. You can touch this feature when you usually want to become excited. place.

High-value anchors are three combined anchors that build self-confidence, self-love, and self-esteem.

3. Changing preferences of sub-sensory elements

Changing preferences through the replacement of sub-sensory elements, becoming like something or hating something, such as visual images, smell, hearing, etc. .

In the first stage of homework, students were given the task of watching six movies. The movies come from life. After learning NLP, they gave us a deeper thought:

1 , "The Life of a Disdained Songzi"?

Although Songzi had some unpleasant experiences while growing up, through his own efforts, he became a respected teacher, and his pursuit of being rich, handsome, and successful in life The road should be getting better and better, but because of the trouble of a responsibility that should not be borne, life has been ups and downs, but she can still have a trace of goodwill and hope. Even if Long Yi hurts her again, she is still willing to wait for him. However, Long Yi confirmed that being with her would only continue to hurt her. After he was released from prison, he avoided Songzi, which was the final disillusionment in his life. From then on, Songzi completely gave up on himself until he died inexplicably. Looking at Songzi's life, is it fate? When the teacher discovered that Long Yi had stolen something, Songzi's development seemed destined to end. Why did Songzi inexplicably take on responsibilities that he shouldn't bear, and then he was submissive when getting along with other people? The origin can be traced back to her childhood. At home, her father always took special care of her sick sister. He only left the gifts and other good things he bought for her sister. In Songzi's heart, she had been trying hard to gain her father's approval. , the only time her father smiled was when she was making faces at the circus. Songzi always lacked his father's love in his heart, and always felt that he should take on more responsibilities. This was also the case later in several relationships and when getting along with other people. Rather than saying that Songzi's fate is fate, it is better to say that it is caused by the automatic reaction pattern stored in his body. This pattern is extremely stubborn. If it is not broken, it will really become fate. However, it is not that there is no chance to break it. Songzi wants to learn NLP. and Satya et al.

2. "Remote Control of Life"?

The male protagonist of the story originally had a beautiful family, a beautiful and virtuous wife, a lovely son and a little daughter, but in his heart he only wanted to Thinking of one thing, becoming a partner and making a lot of money, I don't dare not accept the task when the boss gives me the task, so I keep working overtime, shirking the promised family outings, building a bookstore for my children, watching my children's swimming competitions, etc. During the whole family dinner, I was still on the phone with my boss throughout the whole process, and finally got into an argument with a group of children playing next to me. The family banquet broke up unhappy, and the tenderness between husband and wife was even more overwhelming. Complaints continue, mistakes continue to occur at work, and the boss becomes more and more dissatisfied. It can be said that life is a mess. At this time, the protagonist accidentally gets a remote control from Modi (an angel), which can pause , fast forward, and rewind his own life. The protagonist didn't believe it at first, but later he became very good at using it. When he encountered something he didn't do well, he could go back and start over or fast forward. As a result, he negotiated a big deal and was appreciated by his boss, and so on. , so it was very beautiful at first, but I still felt that something was wrong. Later, it became a little automatic, including when I made love with my lover, it passed instantly, but my lover didn't feel it at all! Later, he fast forwarded and saw what he looked like when he was old. He was already too fat and his children were also very fat. What was even more sad was that his former wife no longer belonged to him, and he had no idea that his father had left. Through fast forwarding, rewinding, pausing, etc., he saw clearly all the things he had done, including being indifferent to his father, etc., and he regretted it. He felt that the remote control did not bring him good luck, so he threw it away after returning to his children's wedding. remote control. The most touching scene in the story is when his child didn’t even spend their honeymoon after getting married and was about to leave for work. The protagonist tore off the sling bottle or medical equipment from his body, ignored the doctor’s obstruction, and tried his best to chase the child’s car in the heavy rain. He fell down dozens of meters away and could no longer hold on. Fortunately, the child turned around and saw him. He used his last bit of strength to say a few words to his child and his beautiful daughter-in-law: "Family comes first." "One", after saying that, he gave a piece of paper in his hand to his former wife, which said "I will always love you". The lover burst into tears, and the child promised him to go on a wedding vacation, and the male protagonist closed his eyes. . When I saw the end of the video, I couldn't help but shed tears. What do men pursue in life? Do a good job and make money. The ultimate goal is nothing more than a happier family life. If you put the cart before the horse, you will never achieve it. In the end, you may not get anything. There is no remote control in life. If you want to go back, go back. Everything you have said and done will leave traces, which may be good or bad. The more bad things accumulate, they will eventually explode. , so you must constantly be aware of your words and deeds, and try to do things that add value.

3. "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder"?

The male protagonist on TV was once a bohemian, constantly pursuing beautiful girls, and being harsh in all kinds of ways. However, the beautiful woman who lives next door wants to I wanted to chase but failed to catch up, and I was in great pain. Later, I met the psychological master Tony Robbins in the elevator. The elevator happened to be broken. It was this encounter that started a good play for the protagonist. Robbins gave the protagonist a "psychological" "Skills", the woman's virtue replaced her beauty, and later she met a fat girl with a very kind heart, but the male protagonist regarded her as a peerless beauty. It happened that the daughter's father designed the big boss of the protagonist's company, and from then on the protagonist embarked on a career He reached the peak of his life, but when he met his pig teammates who wanted to help him recognize the reality, he found Robbins to help him break the "curse". At this moment, he felt very conflicted in his heart. After all, his girlfriend really "can't bear to look at it" , the girlfriend also had some misunderstandings, but in the end her emotions overcame her thoughts and she bravely showed up at her charity farewell party in Africa and went with her (to be honest, I didn’t understand the first paragraph, that lady was not that fat girl). What did this story inspire? Can changing the dimension change preferences? Another thing is what you focus on, what you see is what you see, focus on kindness, the kind people you see are the most beautiful.

4. "The Matrix 1"

The movie seems illusory and objective. People will live in their own thinking framework, and all humans in the movie will be created by aliens. In the virtual matrix, they all live under controlled programming. The male protagonist is a wise man among humans. He vaguely feels that something is wrong. Under the guidance of the leader Morpheus, he finds his mission and breaks the alien-controlled world. virtual matrix. In the play, a person's brain can be freely implanted with a certain program, and he can enter an environment that feels very real, and even master a certain skill all at once. The protagonist suddenly becomes a Taekwondo master, and at the same time he is constantly hypnotized to believe that he is fast enough. Down, you can even dodge bullets. The scenes in the play seem to be fantasy, but maybe in the future, with the development of brain science and artificial intelligence, humans can really do this. Unpleasant memories can be implanted with a program to eliminate them, or a special memory can be implanted. Skills or a certain warm and happy memory, like this, wouldn’t human beings be happy every day? It’s great!

5. "Bottom Hot Girl"?

Sayaka Kudo, who studies at a girls' high school in Nagoya, is a fashionable, sweet and cute fashion girl. She wears heavy makeup every day, and My friends played around in the dark and paid no attention to their studies, so their academic performance has long been the last in the grade. Sayaka gave up on herself, feeling that she was stupid anyway, wasting her precious youth that could never be regained. Later, my mother sent her to a cram school and met Teacher Pingtian. Pingtian was a teacher who was kind to inspire students' potential. He always encouraged them to move forward and believed that they could do it. Everything was possible. He also helped Sayaka make the decision she wanted to make within a year. With the guarantee of being admitted to Keio University, a prestigious university, Sayaka has worked hard to improve herself. Of course, there have been several setbacks. Teacher Tsuboda has helped her overcome the difficult moments. Especially after Sayaka has worked hard for a year and sees the gap in results, she still has a lot of hope. A time of uncertainty. In the end, Sayaka was admitted to Keio University as she wished. In the process of this effort, the family relationship has become more and more harmonious. The relationship between father and Sayaka has begun to reconcile. He no longer imposes his dreams on his son. The son can choose his own path. Hayega's behavior has also changed. Another "naughty" boy of the same age in the cram school! There are many tears in this drama. The most terrible thing for people is to lose their dreams, hopes and confidence. If they cannot awaken, they may fall into a quagmire and be unable to extricate themselves. To get out of the quagmire, you need the courage to continue to act. Even in difficult times, you can still Be hopeful, anything is possible!

6. "Love in the Sky"

The film tells the story of Phil, a weather broadcaster, who encounters a blizzard during a mission and stays on February 2 forever but can never go back to it. Taking a step forward, the story of his repeated life began. Mayfair himself is a guy who likes to complain and is arrogant. He is dissatisfied with the people around him, and his colleagues are also dissatisfied with him.

After arriving in the town, every morning when the alarm clock wakes up at six o'clock, he sees the same people and scenes. The time is always the same day. At first, Feier was very depressed and various pranks were played. Later, he found that there were benefits, so he took advantage of this opportunity to do something. For example, he approached his favorite colleague RITA. After numerous rejections, he decided to accept and enjoy this kind of life. He greeted the people around him kindly every day, helped those in need around him, and also learned piano, sculpture, etc. He got to know most of the people in the town, and one day he started an outstanding day, with a very energetic live broadcast, a perfect snow sculpture, and was greeted and thanked by many people at the dance. That night RITA was moved by him and had sex with him. After spending a good night, he woke up in the morning and felt that the people around him were still there. He finally waited for tomorrow! Feeling: If there is really an arrangement by fate, it is better to enjoy this arrangement, seize every day, and live the present moment, maybe the God of destiny will come and change!