Many years ago, I drifted to Shanghai alone and entered a foreign-funded enterprise in Singapore, but the holding management in the company was all from Shanghai, and the company formed two factions.

As a newcomer in the workplace, I have no idea what office politics is, I don't know how to choose a sideline, and I don't want to offend people. In the end, both sides didn't please me, so I lived in the cracks and walked on thin ice.

The daughter of a relative in my hometown has been in the finance department of a large local enterprise for 10 years, but she has always been an ordinary cashier, and her salary and level have not been improved.

She was puzzled until she learned from other colleagues after leaving her job that she had offended the leader many times, intentionally or unintentionally, and often contradicted the criticism, so she remained indifferent.

A fan left a message saying that when he first entered the workplace, he was often sent by his old colleagues and superiors to do various chores, serving tea and delivering food, and was often asked by his colleagues for help. These were not his jobs, and he did not know how to communicate and refuse with each other. This makes him very depressed and tired, and going to work every day is as uncomfortable as going to the grave.

In fact, these situations are all due to the lack of necessary workplace survival skills.

How to deal with interpersonal relationships in the workplace is how to communicate with high emotional intelligence.

There are actually many communication skills in the workplace. Here are three commonly used in the world, and I recommend you to learn.

1, learn to read words and observe colors.

To some extent, the workplace is also an interest occasion. If the company is large and the personnel factions are complex, when you get along with different departments and people, you should pay more attention to the words and deeds of the other party and learn when and where to say the right things. Even if you really want to be nice to each other and tell some big truths, the other party may not listen, which will lead to the opposite result.

How to observe? How to judge the subtext of the other party, or what is the meaning of ambiguous words?

Ordinary people, when they don't want to admit something directly, their expressions and body language will be inconsistent with what they say, and they will show their true feelings.

For example, although the other party is saying, right, right, good. But your body leans to one side, your eyes are distracted, or you seem nervous.

What he said gives you a different feeling, and then you feel "weird", that is, there is something wrong.

Of course, as a newcomer in the workplace, because of his shallow experience and ability, he is unlikely to be sensitive to subtle differences. But it doesn't matter, don't be discouraged and anxious. These can be achieved through long-term contact between people, which will gradually increase your experience in getting along.

Experience is that you have encountered such a situation and know what the corresponding result is, so you will probably understand what is going on next time you encounter a similar situation.

Therefore, study day after day, and there will be a relaxed social day. Let's be friends with time.

A friend of a friend, named Zhong, has a lively nature, can talk to anyone and has a quick mind. After he entered a well-known local real estate company, he not only did his job well, but also knew how to make friends and often observed the preferences and characteristics of important leaders and key figures of the company.

It was also in the usual chat that I learned about the complicated relationship between various departments, and he maintained good relations with several important department heads.

Because he is particularly good at computers, he is often called to help the general manager deal with computer problems, so the relationship with the general manager is quite warm.

In the new year, when promoting business talents, it was recognized by the whole company, and without any objection, it was promoted to deputy manager of the department.

Learn to read minds slowly and understand the world. Although it may make you smooth sailing, its alias is also called "growth".

2. Learn the ability to say "no" appropriately.

If you want to be loved by everyone in the workplace, you must be kind to others and satisfy their wishes as much as possible, but at the same time, there is no bottom line. You can be a good person by keeping a low profile and not offending anyone.

One manifestation of the immaturity of newcomers in the workplace is that they don't want to offend everyone in the workplace and want to have a good relationship with them. But if there is no bottom line, you won't refuse anything. Over time, others will regard you as an object that can be sent casually.

Each of us has limited time every day, so we should learn to say no appropriately, otherwise it will not only consume your limited life, but also get no respect from others.

The easiest way to say "no" politely is to tell the other party that there is force majeure and you can't help.

For example:

Example 1, the other party wants to borrow money from you, telling him that he has invested most of his cash flow, buying a house, a car, or other large investments, but he can't mention them at the moment, and he has to repay the loan every month, which is also very stressful.

Example 2, the other party asks you for help to do a time-consuming thing, such as processing a document, writing an article, doing PPT, etc. And you can tell the other person that you have too many projects recently, working overtime and can't spare the time. In order to increase the authenticity, you can cut a picture of the work list, so that he can see that your time is full, but you should euphemistically say that you will help the other person next time when you are free, so that the other person will feel more comfortable.

In short, just find some legitimate reasons that the other party can't refute, and generally don't ask you for help too much.

Sometimes, direct rejection is hatred. It is against one's will to promise each other. Euphemistic refusal is the best way to deal with it.

3. How to deal with criticism.

No one likes to be negatively evaluated by others, but it may be inevitable to be criticized by superiors and bosses in the workplace.

When dealing with criticism, the proposal is divided into two.

First of all, you should evaluate whether the other person is picky, or whether you really make mistakes in your work and need to improve.

If it is the former, the general situation is that the other person is biased towards serious people, likes criticism, is too harsh, or likes to gain a sense of accomplishment through criticism. It's probably your fault. It's not a serious matter. The other party just wants you to be more serious and do things more rigorously. If you can't avoid the fact that he directly governs you, then don't be too ashamed and annoyed, just do what the other person wants.

If it is the latter, you can switch to the boss's point of view and think about it. He also hopes that you can do things better, and you do have a lot of room for improvement, so accept it with an open mind, which can be regarded as the driving force for constantly urging yourself to improve. Actually, there's nothing wrong with it.

However, you need to face it with a positive attitude, instead of being scolded and blamed. If the other party really finds fault, it is another calculation.

Xiaoli, who has worked in a foreign trade company for 5 years, is one of the best in ability, experience and performance. Recently, a new vice president came to directly manage Xiaoli's department. Xiaoli thought she could get along well with her former boss, but she didn't expect the other party to talk to Xiaoli about her work every once in a while, and often pointed out some of her problems, which made Xiaoli miserable and the pressure increased sharply, which also affected her performance.

As a last resort, I talked to the general manager who has a good relationship. The general manager understands Xiaoli's feelings very well, so he tells her that the new vice president is also notoriously strict in another company, but his department has the best performance, so the other party doesn't mean to be picky, but just wants to let you and the team have more room for improvement.

After Xiaoli understands it, she constantly accepts criticism with an open mind, and in turn often takes the initiative to seek opinions and suggestions. With such positive thinking and action, Xiaoli's ability and performance have also been improved.

Dale Carnegie said in "The Weakness of Human Nature" that if you are criticized, please remember that it is because criticizing you will give him a sense of importance and show that you are successful and attractive. Many people get satisfaction by blaming people who are more accomplished than themselves.

Facing criticism objectively, rationally and positively will make you feel more comfortable without too much pressure.

If you want to get along better in the workplace and properly handle interpersonal relationships, you can't do without the study of communication skills and humanity.

The workplace is equivalent to your second home after you step into society. In addition to parents, the most common is the leadership of colleagues. And sometimes the workplace is not a family, because it involves interests, there will inevitably be competition and friction.

To survive in the workplace, people must know what to say, when to say it, to whom to say it and how to say it. Only by getting along with them can we have greater opportunities for development.

In short, there are thousands of communication skills that you can't learn, but behind the skills is always unchanging human nature. I hope you can understand that communicating with people is actually communicating with human nature and understanding the characteristics of human nature, so that you can draw inferences from one another.