This book is the work of von Thun, a famous German psychologist and expert on interpersonal communication. As the title suggests, this is a book that introduces and teaches you how to communicate in a minimalist way. It is a communication logic book that everyone should learn and own.

The book mentions four minimalist communication models, which are: self-expression dimension; relationship dimension; fact dimension; appeal dimension. Through this book, we can learn how to communicate effectively, learn how to understand and communicate with others, and how to get along with others. The author combines the knowledge of psychology to provide us with a completely new perspective on how to communicate. We can improve our communication skills by learning relevant knowledge about communication dimensions, as well as methods and correct training.

These four thinking models are as follows:

As mentioned in the book, by mastering the above four communication models, we can immediately grasp the three main points:

The first is to make it clear that every communication is based on four models; the second is that a message should contain a lot of information, which is arranged around the combination of the above four models; the last is to make it clear that every dimension is equally important of.

The author explains these four communication thinking models through two parts of the book:

Part 1: The basis of interpersonal communication

Since it is communication, Then it becomes very important for the information receiver to understand and analyze the sender's information. In our daily life and work, it is inevitable that one message often contains many messages. This chapter introduces how to understand and display multiple messages in complex information, which is the four-dimensional model of analytical communication, which comes from the concepts proposed by scholars such as Buhler and Watzlawick. Bühler proposed the "trichotomy of language", namely information (fact dimension), expression (self-expression dimension) and appeal (appeal dimension). Wazlawick proposed that information has two aspects: content (that is, the factual dimension mentioned in the book) and relationship. These models can better display various interferences and problems that may occur in communication, open up new ideas for improving readers' communication skills, and provide training methods and goals.

The method is to use "four ears" to receive information at the same time. These four ears are: the information receiver is trying to receive the information (fact ears), and the information sender is thinking about what the sender thinks and how to treat us. relationship (relationship ear), what does the sender mean (self-expression ear), and the receiver will think about what the sender wants me to do (appeal ear).

Which ear the receiver of the message uses first to receive the message will lead to different communication effects and thus affect the direction of the conversation. In communication, recipients often ignore which ear they use first to receive information. The first part of the book introduces in detail the process of using four ears alone to receive information.

In addition, the receiver's processing and imagination of information will also lead to different communication effects. For example, when a couple was having dinner, the husband asked: What is the green thing in the soup? The wife immediately replied: If you don’t like to eat, eat somewhere else!

The author assumes that if this is just a simple factual question from the husband, maybe he does not know what is in the soup. We can analyze the events described by comparing the sent and received information:

< p> The wife reacted to the information, her answer was only in the information dimension, and only one ear was used to receive the information, so misunderstandings immediately occurred. From another perspective, the wife can also maintain an objective mentality and answer, what kind of green vegetable is this, and then solve the husband's problem. Similar misunderstandings in life often come from one-sided communication. Such misunderstandings often come from the recipient's imagination of themselves and the recipient's imagination of themselves. After clearly understanding the source of the misunderstanding, both the receiver and the sender can more accurately understand each other's information and demands during subsequent communication, thus improving the effectiveness of communication.

The second part starts from the above-mentioned four dimensions of information and discusses the problems that everyone will encounter or have.

Effective communication must be that the sender of the message must first know what he wants to express, express it successfully, and elicit his own demands. This requires the sender to understand and discover himself well enough to use techniques or methods to improve his expression. For example, overcome the fear of expression, understand the skills of self-presentation and self-hiding, find the home field advantage, and guide communication in the direction you are familiar with, etc.

In the communication process, whether the information is understood objectively and the deviation in understanding also have a great impact on communication. The first is objectivity. It is not affected by subjective feelings. To a large extent, objectivity is reflected when factual understanding prevails and the other three dimensions are at a disadvantage with information. This is also one of the least familiar techniques in psychology. One: Avoid the confrontation of relationship rectification, and only argue about facts. People with opposite opinions will become annoying enemies and will be treated the same way. Those who hold opposite opinions will inevitably be involved in the relationship dimension. One of the ways to discuss facts mentioned in the book is to maintain a balance of three elements: fact, individual, and collective balance.

At the information level, the author mentioned two important dimensions: emotion and control. We can use them to build a general framework to describe interpersonal relationships.

Good communication can change the status of the sender and receiver of the upcoming information, and the effect of expression and expression, as well as failed appeals, are the contradictions in interpersonal communication at the level of information communication. We can learn to be effect-oriented and ask ourselves, what do I want to achieve or prevent, and then design the message in this way, which achieves the desired effect. It is mainly used for action guidance. For the receiver, whether the sender communicates with a developed effect. , will become important. At the same time, we can improve the expression effect through communication training: improve the effect ability and improve the expression ability. The method of improving expression ability will focus more on strengthening self-awareness, clarifying one's own situation, and paying attention to one's own body's signals. This is about self-expression, and the ability to really express.

Whether it is a group or an individual, this book gives us a new direction of communication. Effective communication is the accurate conveyance of information, and the information is based on factual dimensions. The information sent by the information sender contains the opinions and attitudes of the receiver, and equally important, what effect the sender wants to achieve. Once you master these four communication dimensions and cooperate with the training methods in the book, efficient communication will not be a problem.