(1) Be polite since childhood, and meet people all your life.
Let me introduce myself first. Confucius said, "If you don't learn manners, you can't stand. The first thing in etiquette is to introduce yourself. My last name is Cai, thanks to Li, and my name is Xu of the rising sun. I have a habit since I was a child. As long as the elders come to our house and hear their voices, no matter where I am, I will run as fast as I just started, go to the elders and say hello to this uncle: "Hello, uncle!" " "Aunt! Dear friends, is this action important? Dear friends, have you ever taught? The answer is not very loud. Many times, we keep all the important things in life in our minds, but we haven't taught them to our children yet. We haven't even started to do what we think is important. Therefore, this kind of courtesy has been cultivated since childhood. The so-called habit becomes nature, and the lack of it becomes nature. I remember once when I was taking the elevator, a lady came in. As soon as I entered the door, I asked her, "What floor? Dear friends, when you get on the elevator, what floor will you ask others to raise their hands? Nobody raised their hands? I finally understand that the virtue of China people is modesty, and they dare not let others see it after doing it. I asked her, I believe there will be a warm current in her heart, and young people will be so polite. I introduced myself to her and said, "Hello, my name is Cai Lixu. "She said," Hello, my name is [mother-in-law]. As a result, I chatted with her, only after chatting did I know that her daughter and I were high school classmates. So my experience is very profound, that is, it is predestined friends to meet thousands of miles away. The teachings of many sages of our ancestors should be learned through your life.
In more than 300 speeches, I met many friends from all over the country. Indeed, every fate is hard-won. I flew from Haikou to Shenzhen and then drove from Shenzhen, which should add up to more than 1000 kilometers. It's really a thousand miles away. We should cherish this karma. After cherishing this karma, we should create a better destiny. Dear friends, where are you going to get married after this fate meeting? When we truly accept the knowledge of sages, we should create a perfect karma in our family; In our society, build a stable and harmonious society, and in our country, build a prosperous China people and a rejuvenated national culture! Then our relationship will really develop in a satisfactory direction.
Just mentioned: "If you don't learn etiquette, you can't stand it. Therefore, a polite attitude is very important for a child's life. When I was teaching, I had the opportunity to communicate with my parents. I told my parents that I can see now whether your child can meet a noble person in this life, because all the students I teach are in the fifth and sixth grades, and some are taller than me. When my parents heard this, their eyes immediately widened and their ears pricked up. I told them, I said whether a child can meet a noble person in his life, not that when he graduated from college, you went to burn incense and worship Buddha and said to the bodhisattva, "Oh, please, what's my son's last name?" I hope he can find a good one after graduation and have a good one to promote him. "That incense costs hundreds of dollars. Dear friends, if children are arrogant and rude since childhood, is it useless to burn incense and worship Buddha every day? Everything that is useless must start from the root, so that we can live in reason, understand. Therefore, I told all parents that the most important thing is whether children can meet noble people in their lives, and whether they have a polite attitude towards the elderly; Does he have an attitude towards people with experience and wisdom? This determines whether he can meet a noble person in his life. I personally know this very well.
I have the opportunity to study China's traditional culture in Australia. When I arrived in Australia, I took a course called Regulations. Dear friends, do you have this book called Rules? Regulations teach us the attitude towards the elderly; Is to always respect the elderly. One of them is called "serving the father"; Things are like brothers. It means that parents who serve others should be as respectful as their own parents; Respect other people's brothers as you respect your own. I often tell my students that you can deeply understand the hard work of parents in childbirth, parenting and education. Are other people's parents hard? Are other people's parents hardworking? Work hard! Other people's parents are also paying for the family, the whole society and the country every day, so all parents deserve our respect. After learning this sentence, I went back to the dormitory. Almost seven or eight elders lived with us, and just started to say hello one by one. Excuse me, "What year were you born? There was an elder older than my father, and I immediately said, "Hello, Uncle Tang! Dear friends, after this bow, I looked up and the elder smiled from ear to ear. He said he flew to Wan Li several times and had a nephew. He is very happy. Later, I greeted another person next to me: "Hello, Uncle Chen! Then suddenly an uncle ran over and said, "I want it, too." "Later I learned that this uncle is very wise. He came to create opportunities for young people, so he came over and said I want to be an uncle, too.
I said to him, "Hello, Uncle Lu! After this bow, life has changed greatly. No one else was there the next afternoon. It happened that this uncle Lu and I were in the room. Uncle Lu immediately called me to the living room and sat down and talked with me for more than two hours.
He sat next to me in class. I just think he is amiable and I don't know his origin. Later, after chatting, I learned that this uncle Lu used to be the president of Yamaha. Do you know Yamaha? This company produces electronic organ, piano and some cars, and has 80,000 employees. Dear friends, 80,000 troops will bring you. Do you dare to bring it? So I was dumbfounded when I said it, and I only hated my ignorance, but I also knew that the more capable people were, the more humble they were, which I proved myself. Do modern young people look at people when they go out to find a job? Seeing some people talking about foaming at the mouth, I knew all of them and was deeply impressed. I was led by him. In fact, the more capable and intelligent people are, the more cultivated and humble they are.
Dear friends and parents, do you want to learn children's ability to see people? Do you want it? study When did you learn? Did you pay 5 thousand yuan to learn it after graduating from college? No, many abilities are formed over time. Uncle Lu told me for more than two hours, sharing his life experience and wisdom selflessly and teaching me. There is a sentence that impressed me the most. He said that if a person wants to improve his moral cultivation, he should remember one sentence: "treat yourself with extinction;" Be kind to others. Dear friends, don't point a knife at yourself after you go back, then you heard wrong. Suicide is a bad habit for yourself and you can't "dance" with it. If you find shortcomings, you should make every effort to correct them and have the determination to eliminate them. And you should forgive others more and think more about each other, so be kind. Dear friends, was this sentence invented by Uncle Lu? I'm sure all your friends know that China sages have a teaching called "Be strict with yourself and be lenient with others". It's just that Uncle Lu used more profound words to express it incisively and vividly. In fact, it completely corresponds to the teaching of our sages. In the process of more than two hours, I was absorbed in absorption. After listening to it, I was very excited. I just want to do an action in my mind. Dear friends, do you know which action it is? I was so grateful that I just wanted to kneel down and thank him. I really appreciate the two most important attitudes of China people at this moment: filial piety and respect for teachers.
Filial piety and teachers' morality have maintained the history of China for more than 4,000 years, and the reason why China culture can last for a long time depends on filial piety and teachers' morality. Dear friends, if filial piety and teachers' morality no longer exist, what will happen to China culture? It will break. Therefore, when an elder selflessly contributes wisdom, we can only thank him deeply. So I immediately knelt down. Uncle Lu, who had practiced judo, was so athletic that he immediately pulled me up and said, "Ah! Not working. " Pull me up. From that day on, after breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, he said, "Come, let's go for a walk. Then he asked me, "How did you listen to today's class? "I began to report to my predecessors. After the report, Uncle Lu said, "You didn't look deep enough and didn't use it widely enough. "So taught me for two months.
I have known Uncle Lu for more than a year. As long as I have any doubts in my life, as long as I call him, he will seriously share and teach me his experience. So parents, how much did I spend to improve my ability? How many people have I contacted? Our modern thinking is very complicated, and we think things are very difficult and complicated. In fact, the simple road, the real truth, is the simplest. As long as your sincerity and respect are revealed, your life and your opportunities will change well. This is my profound experience.
So in the face of my students, I must teach them how to respect their elders and how to be polite people. So I told my parents, I said, "Is it important to teach children a correct attitude towards life? Or let him change 98 points into 100 points? Dear friends, is the former important or the latter important? ("the former". ) ok! The former is very important. Excuse me, are parents doing their previous jobs now? Still working on the latter? ("the latter"! Don't we adults all say one thing and do another? ! What did the child learn? Children learn to say one thing and do another, don't they? Therefore, as parents, we really need to calm down and think. You can't go with the flow! You should know the exact direction of this drift. One of my students made up four subjects, and one night he came to see me. I said, classmate, can you make up a little less and just make up two subjects? The child answered very seriously. He said, teacher, no, our alley is full of four minor subjects. Are you tired of life? Like a duck, I don't know where to go. It's strange that I won't leave when everyone else has left. According to us, spending money may not be effective, but it has side effects. We should know something about children. Therefore, in the top ten of a class I taught, there happened to be five students who didn't take remedial classes, and five students took remedial classes. I assert that after finishing junior high school, people who don't have tutoring will definitely start to surpass those who do. In fact, this is also my personal experience. Why? I have observed all the children who are tutors. The first is that they are not very attentive in class. Because he sat down, if the content of today's lecture has been taught in the cram school, he will tell the students next to him, I know this, I have learned this, and I am not attentive in class and interfere with others; If today's cram school has not been taught, he will think, anyway, the cram school teacher will teach at night, so his heart is not completely focused on learning. It doesn't matter if he doesn't concentrate on a subject completely. The question is how long will this inattentive attitude affect him? It will affect him for life!
The second is that the children in these cram schools are absolutely cramming for the exam. I saw some students who didn't make up classes. They correct the key points themselves before the exam. The children who have already attended the remedial class are waiting for the cram school teacher to sort out the key points sent to him, and then read that book every day and recite it desperately. It's called swallowing dates. Just after the exam, he said, "Ah! The exam is over! Everything I swallowed was thrown away and returned to the teacher. I haven't learned what I have learned. Has the attitude and method of reading been formed? No, the hard work and talent of parents and children are not spent. Children's efforts and talents often go hand in hand. If you stay with him, he will feel a kind of care from his parents. And when you just spend money and your parents never accompany you, you confess to him and he will confess to you. Say what? " Dad, this is 90 minutes. Ok, I'm going to McDonald's. ""Dad, it's been 95 minutes. You said you would give me a remote control car. "Is there anything else? He gave it to you, not himself. Therefore, our brothers and sisters have never been tutored since childhood, and the actions done by parents are the most labor-saving.
In fact, as long as education grasps the core point, it is not as complicated and difficult as imagined. Parents have never said a word: "study hard and study more, which will help you in the future." "I didn't say that. But as long as we eat and rest, my parents will go into the room to read. I was very young then. Dear friends, my parents are studying there. Do children cross their legs and watch TV there? Dare the child? Dare not. Because my parents read books or do other things after dinner, my brother and sister must be reading with them. As long as I can remember, my parents haven't told us to study quickly. My mother always urges us to "sleep and stop reading" when we get up at eleven or twelve. So sometimes when my mother's footsteps arrive, my two sisters begin to imitate my mother's words, "Go to sleep, don't look. "My sister graduated with a doctorate, and no one urged her to study. Because of the habit, she gradually realized that "the book has its own golden house, and the book has its own Yan Ruyu".
At this point, parents often go to the National Studies Enlightenment Center to talk to me about educating their children. Five minutes before entering the door, they all said, "Alas, my children are selfish, my children are unwilling to suffer, and my children are lazy. We let him get it off his chest and talked for almost five minutes without interruption. We quickly comforted him (her) and said, "Come, have a glass of water. "I said your child is selfish, and this is the result. What is the reason? Your children don't study hard and like watching TV, which is the result. What is the reason? The parent was asked, silly, as if no one had asked this question in his life. It seems that if children don't study hard, they naturally don't study hard, so they often say, "Look, other children work hard, but my child doesn't. "I don't know what other children's efforts are for. In the end, comparing with others will kill you and our own children. Every child's characteristics are different. We should know him deeply, follow his talent and develop with one of his characteristics. Later, I gave him an example: many parents sit in front of the TV after dinner and watch TV there. Seeing that children don't study hard, they will urge him: "It's half past seven, go and read to me." The child said reluctantly, looking at the TV and thinking, "What is the first thing to sing under the stars? What will happen to the heroine next moment? The process of walking is very slow, and when I reach the stairs, I still hold the pillars of the stairs for a long time and refuse to leave. Mother had to give an ultimatum, "I'll beat you if you don't go up." "He had to get up. What was he thinking when he was sitting at his desk? Even if he sat for two hours, who did he just tell? When I described this paragraph, the parents all laughed so hard. Why are they laughing so hard? Let's not ask.
So, everything happens for a reason. We should rationally find out the reasons and instill the right examples, words and instructions into children's intentions and behaviors. As parents, we should deeply understand what is really good for our children. We can't always say, "I love him very much, and I do it for his own good!" " "This sentence is persuasive? No. As soon as this sentence comes out, I want all children to obey it. I do it for your own good, but I love it till it hurts. If you love him in the wrong way, you may lead him astray. Take this sentence for example: "You just need to read the book well, and don't worry about anything else. "This sentence is right? Wrong. Did someone do something wrong? Dear friends, is it rational or emotional to educate children? Or do whatever you want? This is a question worth thinking about.
It is reported that students went to college and were expelled within a month. Why? Poor living ability has caused troubles to classmates and teachers. Finally, the school advised him to come back: you'd better go back and learn to wash clothes, clean tables and set books! So now there is a saying that these people are "professional high flyers, living imbeciles". As parents, we should be far-sighted. Such a child, even after finishing Peking University. Dear friends, do you think he will make great achievements? No, do many people graduate from universities and graduate schools every year? Are there many unemployed people? A lot. And the unemployment rate of college graduates will exceed that of high school graduates. Why? Why is the higher the education, the higher the unemployment rate? Because of some relatively low-level jobs, those above college refused to do it and refused to hone it. And after graduating from high school or junior college, he thought I was inferior to others and asked me to start from scratch. This mentality is very important. So he (a college student) didn't learn the attitude of dealing with people, just pursuing a diploma. Parents, it is hard to say whether this diploma is good or bad for children's lives. I have a friend who graduated from graduate school. One day, he just came home. His mother asked him to do some housework at home. When he finished, his mother came over and said, why didn't you even do such a small thing well? How stupid? As soon as my mother finished speaking, my friend opened his eyes wide and said unhappily, I have gone to graduate school, and you still call me stupid. Dear friends, what did the institute give him? Graduate school didn't teach him to be modest, but to accept accusations from others. After all, he did something wrong, but he has no humility. He mentioned arrogance: I went to graduate school and you called me stupid. Therefore, Uncle Lu said that he likes to bring university cadres, but he doesn't like to bring cadres above graduate level, because cadres above graduate level are very tired when they take off their masks. On the contrary, college graduates are better, so after his children finish college abroad, they should be brought back to hone them, hoping to give you another two years of postgraduate study. You don't listen to what I said. Come back and hone it first, and know what ability to increase in order to gain a foothold in society. If you develop in the future, you will go to work and study.
Let's think about another problem. Do entrepreneurs think there are many talents now, and do leaders from all walks of life think there are many talents now? Dear friends, how many? Not much. Every year, college graduates, graduate students are all over the street. As a result, entrepreneurs and leaders say that there are not many talents. What's the problem? What kind of talents do entrepreneurs want? Is he highly educated? What he wants is career development. With your education, I don't want to tell anyone. What's the use of seeing such a highly educated employee? When you have a high degree and don't know how to be a man, it is the drag of the leader.
A teacher opened a kindergarten and recruited many students. A guest happened to come, and he took his teacher who taught the second and third grades to dinner. These young teachers are all from Hunan, and the guests are all from Guangdong. What do you want, my friends? Sure, order Cantonese food. As a result, these young teachers have been commenting over there, and these dishes are tasteless. Then a spicy dish came up, and several people immediately scrambled to eat it. The place where leaders sit is like sitting on a needle carpet. Dear friends, do you dare to use such employees? I dare not. If he graduates from graduate school, do you want to use it? So who does the enterprise want to use? Only people who know etiquette, responsibility and virtue dare to use him, and only dare to use him greatly. Therefore, the talents we need now are people with morality and responsibility. Excuse me, is our child going here? We should guide our children in the right direction, so that they can have great development in their future lives.
In fact, enterprises now feel that there is a shortage of talents, not only in China, but all over the world. One day I read a report that the United States conducted psychological tests on more than 8,000 middle school students. After the test results came out, 7 1% of the students cheated, 68% beat people, and 35% stole things in the store. The result of the moral character test is that 96% children think his moral character is good. Dear friends, do you understand that 7 1% people cheat, 68% people fight and 35% people steal? As a result, 96% of the students think that he has a good moral character. Parents, where are the standards for children now? What you think is right is right and what you think is wrong is wrong. Is this standard dangerous? Therefore, the president of the United States attached great importance to it and immediately allocated huge sums of money to solve the problem. Originally, the funding for this moral management was 250 million, which was immediately raised to 750 million. Friends, is it useful? There is a saying in Shantou: "If you beat your parents, you have to ask others to be filial." Is there such a truth? Will a leader succeed when he fights with other countries and then tells his subjects not to fight?
Education in China is "leading by example". He really wants to stand on the street, and the children are very happy. He respected and admired his father when he saw him. But if you just teach and do nothing, the children will definitely turn against you in the end. Therefore, not only China people, but also the whole world is concerned about moral quality, and big enterprises all over the world are thinking about this issue. To be an enterprise, you should not only make a good cup, but also a good microphone, so that your business can last for a long time, right? 1995, there was a British bank called Bahrain Bank with a history of more than 200 years. Because a Singapore futures salesman embezzled public funds to speculate in futures, the loss was serious, and the foundation of more than 200 years was destroyed. In 200 1 year, the annual turnover of Enron group, the seventh largest enterprise in the United States, reached hundreds of billions of dollars, because two leaders misappropriated public funds and made false accounts. Foreigners find that doing things well is not about serving customers well, but more importantly, the moral quality of employees is directly related to the long-term development of enterprises.
Therefore, western management, from TM total quality control, T is total quantity, quality and M are management. All those who have studied management must know TM, and it has been changed from TM to TEM, which is comprehensive moral and ethical management. This era has come. These chain enterprises all need a person, and they have to take classes for several months before they can use them. Dear parents, did his personality change immediately after last month? I can't. If your children are rooted in morality from an early age, when your children leave society, entrepreneurs will definitely feel completely different from other children. Are you still afraid that children have no job opportunities and no room for development? When Mr. Ford went to apply, he saw a graduate student sitting next to a famous school. He doesn't have such a high degree, so he thinks that since there is no chance, I will just treat it with a normal heart. As a result, as soon as he entered the door, he saw a piece of paper on the ground. The future Ford boss immediately bent down to pick it up, threw it into the trash can, and then went over and sat down to apply. As a result, the examiner said to him, "He hasn't recovered yet. Why was he admitted to the hospital immediately? Can a person who can't even do small things do big things?
There is a story in history about a child who never cleans his room. An elderly man came in and said why don't you sweep the floor? The child replied, "My hands are used to sweep the world." Does it taste good? All right. If many parents have such children, I'm afraid he will snicker until midnight. Don't laugh too early. "Dad, I will make a lot of money in the future, give you a place to live and drive a good car." Not only big men can talk sweet words, but even children can talk sweet words. With this talk, you really hope to have an eldest son in 20 years. As a result, it is impolite to talk to you and won't help you with the housework. So what do you expect every day? Pan Zi. Live clearly! If children really have filial piety, they will never wait for twenty years. He will understand you now and appreciate you now. It's true. So if a house refuses to clean, how can it clean the world? ! Therefore, every time Lu Shu went to the sub-supervisor, he said that I must go to the sub-supervisor's desk first to see if his things were packed, and then take out all the files to see if they were packed. I don't believe that he can achieve great things without cleaning up this little thing. Therefore, truly promising enterprises will definitely use wise leaders. And a leader with high wisdom, is he accurate in judging people? Can you see through my Shuai Shuai suit and get away with it? Don't deceive yourself.
When I was in Australia, we took turns washing dishes and working. Just one day, when I was washing dishes, Uncle Lu walked behind me and suddenly turned to me and said, "I know you are too lucky to wash dishes." Watch me wash the dishes and you will know that I am so lucky. Our gestures, words and deeds will reveal our self-cultivation, our moral character and how deep our family education is. Can you hide it from these elders? I can't hide. In the future, all enterprises should use truly ethical and capable employees. Parents, do your children have any? If your child begins to take root in virtue at the age of three, your career planning in this life will be in an invincible position. Children's virtues have not taken root, and I can assure you that you will not live a leisurely life. Because the social pollution is very serious now, you should worry about what friends he will make, what wife he will marry in the future and what qualities his colleagues are. You can't stop worrying. There is a saying in southern Fujian that "deep roots and lush foliage are not afraid of typhoons." What does a typhoon mean? It means many fields of society, pollution and challenges. As long as the child's virtue is deep enough, it will not be blown down. Therefore, parents should cultivate a child, not from the end of the branch, but from the root. Where the hell is it? In virtue!
A teacher received a phone call from his parents after his summer vacation. She said, "Thank you, Teacher Zhang. My children made great progress during the summer vacation. Dear parents, what is the biggest progress of children? What do you mean by 5 days plus 2 days? It is good to be equal to 0, and there are many cases where 5 plus 2 will be equal to a negative number. So there will be a small change after two days' rest and a big change after two months' rest. Generally, teachers should clean up the children who come back to class during the summer vacation. As a result, the parents thanked the teacher and told her that during the summer vacation, her daughter made a lot of progress. She said that one day I was so tired that I fell asleep in bed without a quilt. Later, when I woke up, I was covered with a quilt. My mother is very happy, and my daughter helps her to tuck in. This may be because I learned the phrase "warm in winter and cool in summer" in the regulations. This is the story of Huang Xiang in the Eastern Han Dynasty. In winter, the weather is very cold, and his father is in poor health. It's too cold. Huang Xiang sympathized with his father's poor health. He quickly lay down under the bed, warmed up first, and then asked his father to go to bed. It's very hot in summer, so Huang Xiang fanned the mat first, and then invited her father to sleep.
Therefore, when promoting Chinese culture, we should not only teach children the two actions of "warming the quilt" and "sleeping on the mat", but also understand the deeper meaning from these articles. We should tell our children that as children, we can't help our parents solve problems in many aspects, such as economy, but we can certainly show these concerns and help in our daily life. We pay more and do our best. Our daily efforts can definitely make our parents extremely happy. Therefore, we should encourage them and expect them to see their parents' needs in every detail of their lives, so the children helped their mother to cover the quilt. As a result, as soon as my mother walked out of the room and smelled the smell of noodles, she casually said, "Is your father back?" The mother thought it might be the father who brought the food back. The little girl said that her father didn't come back. Mother said there were no noodles to eat. The child said, "I cooked my mother." Her mother was surprised. "You don't usually cook noodles. How can you cook? " The little girl said, "Mom, I often see you somewhere. I'll catch this and that. I'll try it today and catch it. " Is the noodles delicious? Oh, as you all know, this noodle must be delicious! This parent said that it is really good cooking, something for nothing, really good cooking. Parents, what ability does this child have from this story? What is your attitude? What does she have? She has filial piety; What else is there? There is also the spirit of adventure and difficulty, and the heart to try. Do it yourself, the child can take the initiative to do it, and his ability to do things will improve with what he does every day. What's going to happen? Will improve the ability to do things.