From 20 10 to 20 19, the marriage rate in China decreased year by year, and the divorce rate increased year by year. In the city with the highest divorce rate in China, the divorce rate is as high as 39%.

That is to say, for every 10 married couple, almost 4 couples get divorced.

The newly revised marriage law makes the property problems of both husband and wife very clear and makes divorce more convenient.

Together, they are together; No, just say goodbye. Because the ownership of property is clear, the property belongs to whoever belongs to it. As long as the source of funds for property can be provided, a person's property can be protected by the marriage law. Unlike before, divorce is divided into half of the property, and it takes a long time to tear each other to pieces if they can't talk it over.

But in this way, people feel insecure about marriage, especially for the party with relatively thin pre-marital property.

The tragedy of marriage often comes from insecurity.

What is the sense of security in marriage? Yi Shu once said a word to the effect that I want a lot of love, if not, I want a lot of money.

I have to say that feelings are changeable, and only money can bring people a solid sense of security.

It's just money. How do you make it the safest?

Of course I earned it myself. Nowadays, many women work hard before marriage to gain a sense of security for themselves.

In big cities, the soaring rate of single women buying houses can explain the problem. They no longer pin their happiness on others, but create a comfortable nest for themselves and give themselves the life they want.

Even if their marriage changes in the future, they are not afraid to live alone. Being rich and earning money provides freedom for yourself to choose what kind of life.

However, some women will still pin their happiness on the tangible benefits brought by marriage.

From love to marriage is a process from romance to reality. The reality of marriage is that daily necessities are trivial matters, and money is needed everywhere. Talking about marriage is a negotiation about the redistribution of property before marriage between the two parties.

Professor Xue Zhaofeng, an economist, once said: Marriage means running a business, that is, signing a contract, running a family business and signing a lifelong wholesale futures contract. Men and women have different resource packages. Traditionally, women usually pay for childbirth, raising children and taking care of their families earlier; The role of men is relatively late, so women can ask men to make some mortgages, so as to make some foundation and guarantee for the marriage that may have problems in the future.

In Professor Xue's view, the woman can ask the man to add his name to the real estate license and ask for a bride price to provide some sense of security for her marriage.

Of course, it is possible. It's called planning ahead. It's just that some women's anxiety is more obvious, and their mood of ensuring marriage is more urgent, which leads them to want more things from this marriage, which makes the marriage overwhelmed and counterproductive.

Reader Qin Feng left me a message backstage. He said, originally, I will get married in May this year. However, recently, I talked about marriage with the woman's family and reached a deadlock. Both sides did not give in.

Qin Feng said that he wanted to marry his fiancee Jiajia Liu wholeheartedly, and he loved her very much. But the marriage conditions she proposed made it difficult for her to accept. If she thinks about divorce before getting married, she won't be able to stand anyone. After two years together, why can't you trust her feelings for her?

After graduating from Qin Feng University, I worked in a state-owned enterprise. In the past few years, I have done well in the company.

Of course, you can't use the word "mixed". Everything he has now is bought by his personal ability and hard work. This also benefited from his father's teaching him since childhood.

Qin Feng was born in a medium-sized city. His parents are both staff members of public institutions, and they are conscientious and hard-working people in their work. Since childhood, they have asked Qin Feng to be a person who can eat by his ability. Only when you have the ability, you won't be buried anywhere, and you can't have a sharp and smooth style.

Fortunately, Qin Feng's company is a technical company and attaches great importance to the professionalism of technicians. Whether you can be promoted or not depends on your ability, so Qin Summit will become the technical backbone of the company in a short time and manage a small but important department.

Jiajia Liu is an employee in his business department. Among the products developed by Qingfeng Company, there is an accessory from a company in Jiajia Liu.

As luck would have it, the staff of the company that promised to send new samples to Qin Feng was temporarily occupied, so Jiajia Liu sent them for him. As a result, Qin Feng fell in love with Jiajia Liu at first sight.

With the help of friends from the other company, Qin Feng successfully won the beauty.

Jiajia Liu had just joined the company. He is a white boy in the workplace and worships Qin Feng very much. Plus Qin Feng looks handsome and talks funny, and Jiajia Liu likes him very much.

With the deepening of communication, Qin Feng found that Jiajia Liu was really simple.

Although her family is ordinary, her parents protect her very well, so Jiajia Liu is naive. Qin Feng sometimes jokes with her, saying that she is too simple and a little "simple and stupid". She believes everything others say.

In her eyes, parents must listen, and now Qin Feng must listen. But you must listen to your parents before you listen to Qin Feng.

Such a girl sounds easy to deal with, but in fact she is like a stubborn cow, which can't be pulled back.

When they talked about marriage, Jiajia Liu's stubbornness hurt Qin Feng's heart.

Qin Feng and Jiajia Liu, an overbearing president, a simple fool. After two years of dating, I finally decided to get married. Of course, getting married is also the advice of Jiajia Liu's parents. After all, a rich husband like Qin Feng is not easy to find.

Qin Feng spent a weekend buying gifts and going to Jiajia Liu's house to propose.

Jiajia Liu's parents are very satisfied with Qin Feng. The old couple prepared for the visit of their future son-in-law all day. Usually reluctant to buy food, this time I bought a lot and built a table.

Jiajia Liu's father also took out the good wine he had treasured for many years and drank it with Qin Feng.

Jiajia Liu's father said, "My daughter grew up in our hands. Her mother and I are both ordinary workers, and we don't earn much money, but all the money is spent on her. Fortunately, Jia Jia is still sensible, admitted to a good university and went to a good unit, which really didn't let me and her mother waste their efforts. Now that she has met you, I hope you can treat her well. "

Qin Feng is naturally an underground guarantee to reassure Jiajia Liu's parents.

Jiajia Liu's father went on to say, "Of course we see your kindness to her. But as for my daughter, it's also my fault. We protect her too well and don't know anything. Parents must make more snacks for her. Some words can only be said by our parents. "

The prologue was almost over, and Jiajia Liu's father informed the marriage conditions.

500,000 bride price, Qin Feng's property book should add Jiajia Liu's name. In addition, Qin Feng has to sign a divorce agreement. If she wants a divorce in the future, all the property will go to the woman.

Hearing this, Qin Feng suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. It's easy to say, bride price and real estate license are all added, but it's really unheard of to sign a divorce agreement before marriage.

Qin Feng immediately said, "Uncle, I understand this bride price and name addition, but I have to sign a divorce agreement before I get married. What do you think? " I don't think it's appropriate. "

Jiajia Liu's father said, "My daughter is so simple that I have to think more about her. Signing this agreement means signing it, but it doesn't mean expecting you to live a bad life. I just want your written guarantee. "

Qin Feng wanted to refuse at once, but on second thought, if he refused now, there was nothing he could do. So Qin Feng said, "Uncle, this matter is relatively big, and now my parents are paying for the house, and the money I saved by myself is not enough for the bride price of 500,000 yuan. I may have to ask my parents for help. If I want to sign this agreement, I have to discuss it with my parents. After all, I will use their money to get married. "

Qin Feng couldn't eat the meal, so he sat in Jia Jia's room and didn't speak for a long time. Jiajia Liu looked at Qin Feng timidly, also dare not make any noise.

After a while, Qin Feng said to Jiajia Liu, "Your parents want a bride price of 500,000 yuan, and I agree to add your name to my property book. Although this 500 thousand bride price is a bit much for me, and I don't want my parents to spend money when I get married, it seems that I can only trouble them again now. It's nothing. It's just that I really don't want to sign this divorce agreement. Jia Jia, tell me, is my feelings for you true? Is it fake? Don't your parents have so little confidence in me? "

Jiajia Liu whispered to Qin Feng, "Don't be angry. We got married here, and the man got a bride price of 200 thousand. My parents may love face and earn twice as much as you, trying to earn this face in front of relatives and friends. Don't worry, my parents said they wouldn't keep the money. Give it all to me. They said, the divorce agreement is to protect me, afraid of one thousand in the future ... "

"It doesn't matter what they think, what I care about is what you think. Don't you also have confidence in my feelings? Do you think we will divorce, too? "

Jiajia Liu said eagerly, "No,no.. I don't think we will divorce, just to reassure my parents. As long as we don't divorce, this agreement is meaningless. What's wrong with signing it As long as we don't get divorced, right? "

"Jia Jia, I tell you now, I won't sign this agreement. Do you know how this makes me feel? Take a bite and leave. I feel terrible. I love you and want to marry you. I don't need to prove it to anyone. If your parents don't agree, or you don't think it's appropriate, we won't get married for the time being until you think it over. Or you can't figure it out, then this marriage can't be married at all. I am waiting for your news. "

That evening, Qin Feng drove back to his hometown. No matter what decision Jiajia Liu and his parents make, at least he wants the prophet to meet his parents.

In the past, there was an article on our platform, which said that because her mother-in-law didn't like her son-in-law, she only received a bride price and didn't give him a dowry. In this article, the mother-in-law is not optimistic about marriage, so she cursed the marriage with practical actions and eloped with her son-in-law, thus achieving her goal.

But for Qin Feng, it is obviously a blue chip, and it is really strange that Jiajia Liu's parents should use this bizarre way to provide protection for their daughter's marriage.

There are indeed too many variables in emotional affairs and marriage affairs, but there is no way to make marriage better. We should manage well, trust and understand each other.

Because they are in love. Treating sincere feelings with suspicion and unloving attitude will often hurt feelings and hurt the party who really pays.

As Qin Feng said, he doesn't care what Jiajia Liu's parents think, but he cares about Jiajia Liu's attitude. If Jiajia Liu insists on this, she will sow the seeds of doubt for her marriage.

Whether to sign or not is a kind of harm to marriage. Signed, indicating that Qin Feng himself is not sure about himself; If you don't sign it, it shows that Qin Feng has no determination to continue the marriage, which is really a dilemma.

A marriage, only two people, Qi Xin, can survive. As relatives of both parties, we can only bless the couple. Even if we are worried about the possible uncertainty in the future, we can only make suggestions for their marriage with a positive attitude, instead of always thinking about tearing it down.

Although the present marriage is very fragile, as long as there is family ties, there is always room for manoeuvre. I'm afraid that I only pay attention to property and ignore my existing feelings before marriage, so I'm afraid that I will hurt my feelings for money, and marriage is bound to be more fragile.