1, what defeated love?

I believe that everyone who enters marriage will go for the rest of his life at the beginning. However, in the red dust of the years, some people grow old hand in hand, while others drift away. And every marriage without a happy ending probably has a good start.

Some people say that love is fragile, and it cannot stand the test of time and reality. Why, obviously two people who love each other, but look at each other differently in marriage? What defeated love, and what sustained marriage?

2. Marriage lost to reality

A man said: I am divorced, a little sad, but more relieved. We have been in love for 10 years, but we still lost to reality. I didn't cheat. I just don't love her anymore. She and I were classmates in high school. She is my goddess. I have been chasing her for a long time, so I have always cherished her. I have been spoiling her since before and after marriage.

I never said "no" to the bags and cosmetics she wanted to buy and the online celebrity shop she wanted to go to. Even if she doesn't want to go to work after giving birth, I will obey her. But the children have already gone to kindergarten, and everything at home is very expensive. My income has shrunk a lot because of the epidemic, and the pressure is really great.

3. The truth of emotional breakdown

What scares me most is that because of my last birthday, I forgot to buy her a present when I was out socializing, and she spent the night with me. Work hard every day, and there is no peace when you get home. I'm really tired. I don't want to live like this.

We always say that glass is fragile and feelings are easy to disperse. Too many marriage stories tell us that love is the most unreliable, and the marriage formed by love will die because of emotional breakdown. Although the previous feelings were true, the previous vows were also serious.

But under the erosion of years, he has new requirements for marriage and new expectations for the other half, while you have been staying where you are, without growth or change. Marriage is a reality. He can spoil you for life or take back his kindness to you. In the movie, raising you is the most beautiful promise, but in real life, raising you is the most poisonous love story.

4. marital imbalance

I saw a video on the internet, which was very heartfelt: when I first got married, my wife and husband were very loving. Later, my wife got pregnant and gave birth to a daughter. Her husband thought her salary was average, so he asked her to resign and go home to take care of the children, saying that she would be given living expenses every month. Later, my husband felt that her income didn't increase much, but she asked for more and more money every month, so let her save some flowers.

The wife said unjustly: I didn't spend money indiscriminately. I don't want to buy things for my daughter. When the husband heard this, he got angry and shouted at her: You don't make money at home every day. Others can make money while taking care of the baby. Why not? My wife didn't say anything, but really went to look for a job. Although she has a little income, she neglects to take care of her daughter.

Step 5 be your own backer

One day, my daughter was caught in the door, crying, and just caught by her husband who came home from work. He reprimanded his wife. What's the use of you if you can't even take care of the children? I bought this house, and I paid your living expenses. Get out of this house.

Yang Lan once said: A woman is a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother, but first of all, she is herself. Without an independent self, no one can give her freedom, without a complete self, no one can make her complete. The surest way to find happiness is to find yourself.

For everyone in a marriage, whether you are a wife or a mother, you are yourself first. Take yourself as the center of life and be your own backer, instead of living according to other people's requirements and expectations.

6. Marriage needs the efforts of both parties.

All they see is the way you ask for money, the way you can't take care of your children, and the way you are sloppy. People with palms up will never be free. Instead of relying on others to live, it is better to try to be your own backer, make money by yourself and gain confidence in life by yourself.

The sense of security in marriage is given by oneself. Women are self-reliant, and once they rely on others, they have weaknesses. Backers will fall, anyone will run, and others will eventually be passive. We should give ourselves confidence and security in marriage.

Xue Zhaofeng, an economist, once shared a view: Marriage means that both parties take out their own resources, run a family business together, and sign a life-long wholesale futures contract.

7. Equivalence of relations

Marriage is the same as a company. You should have the core value in it and the ability to be needed by others. Otherwise, your happiness and your life can only be controlled by others. Never think about changing your destiny by others or marriage, and don't cut off your wings and give up independence and self-growth after marriage.

Marriage is more about getting what you want. No one wants to pay all the time, and no one can lie flat forever. All efforts and dedication are based on mutual assistance. In other words, you are equal in relationship and independent in economy. It is not an unbalanced structure, one side is above others, and the other side is Nuo Nuo.

8. The best state of marriage

The essence of marriage is like a slow-growing plant, which needs constant irrigation, fertilization, pruning and leaf management to kill pests for lasting shade. Marriage is the practice of two people, which requires two people to vibrate at the same frequency and two people to cooperate with Qi Xin.

Sometimes, a marriage becomes a stranger, more likely because two people have different frequencies for a long time. Those who ran ahead didn't wait, and those who fell behind didn't catch up. The best state of marriage is evenly matched but complementary.

For men, Do not forget your initiative mind never forgets the warmth of his lover and the happiness of his family. For women, don't stand still and rely on the light of others, but strive for the light of living high.