I. Introduction
If the other half cheated, would you choose forgiveness or divorce decisively? Some time ago, this topic caused controversy among netizens. Most netizens who are indignant about "cheating can't be divorced" are unmarried students and young people who have just stepped into society. Only those who really step into marriage can understand their inner entanglement and pain. In the face of cheating, many people have the same troubles, but different people's experiences are quite different.
Second, the other half cheated. Should I get a divorce?
Some couples have been away for a long time, and there is a person taking care of her around her. When the husband found out, he wanted a divorce, but the wife tried her best to save it. Some couples exist in name only and have no feelings for each other. Even if they know that their other half is cheating, they will still live for their children. Some people pursue novelty and adopt a lover outside. After the wife knew, she fell into self-doubt, suffered from depression, and spent every day in pain.
Some people and their other half have always been very loving from school uniforms to wedding dresses, but after their wives are pregnant, husbands often stay out at night, cheat again and again and ask for forgiveness again and again. In the face of their partner's betrayal, they are angry, suspicious and painful; Faced with the concerns of divorce, they are worried, shaken and entangled. Leave, but what about the children? What will friends and relatives think?
Never leave, but there seems to be a thorn in my heart. I feel dull pain from time to time, trying to forgive each other, but I can't let go of suspicion and resentment. In the face of partner's infidelity, many people always want to find a satisfactory choice, but it seems that no matter how they choose, they have to pay the price, which makes the choice difficult, painful and contradictory. But in fact, everyone knows the answer to this question, just don't want to face it.
Third, there is no need to leave, just want to leave.
In the face of partner's infidelity, the answer is actually simple. There is no "should I leave", only "should I leave". Tell a story about a friend around you. A friend and her husband have been married for many years, and their marriage life is still stable until she finds out that her husband has another woman outside. When she saw the ambiguous message in her husband's mobile phone, she trembled with anger and collapsed in despair, as if the sky were going to fall for an instant.
There is only one thought in her heart: divorce immediately, and she must fight for the custody of her children. When she calmed down, she hesitated again. Considering everything after the divorce, with her ability, she can't give her children such good educational conditions at all. Although her husband's cheating broke her heart, she decided to put up with it for the sake of the children. She had a showdown with her husband. Fortunately, he has the heart to return to his family and is willing to take on family responsibilities. As for the third party, he will try to cut off contact.
Later, the relationship between the two experienced a period of running-in and slowly returned to the right track. She was very happy with her original choice. Although letting go doesn't mean forgiveness, she doesn't want to torture herself any more. Whether to divorce in the face of your partner's infidelity, to put it bluntly, is to see if there is anything you want in this marriage.
Fourth, can continuing marriage give you the value you want?
You want the love of the other half. If Ta still loves you, you can try to give Ta another chance. If Ta has long been indifferent to you and disgusted with you, then the forced feelings are meaningless; You want the integrity of your family. If Ta is willing to return to the family, you don't have to divorce. If Ta is still unmoved, it is futile to persist; You want to give your children a good growing environment. If Ta is willing to work hard for her children, you don't have to divorce. If Ta is still unrepentant and ignores her children, there is no need to hesitate.
Thinking about whether to divorce is a process of weighing the pros and cons. But this is not a calculation, but we need to ask ourselves rationally whether we should continue. Don't let your feelings get carried away because you are sad, and make a decision that you will regret for a lifetime.
Xue Zhaofeng, an economist, said in The Story of Chipa: "Marriage means that two people run a business, sign a contract, run a family business and sign a lifelong wholesale futures contract. Everyone should provide corresponding resources and values, physical value, beauty value, emotional value, economic ability, family relationship and future potential. " If this marriage can't give you the value you want, then let it go decisively; Only by continuing this marriage can you get what you want, so you might as well fulfill yourself and give each other a chance to make up for it.
5. If you get divorced, you have to pay for your choice.
Whether to divorce or not, everyone has the right to choose and the ability to bear the consequences. If you divorce, you must have enough confidence to deal with the prejudice of people around you. If you don't divorce, you have to accept the fact that your partner is cheating and try to repair the broken marriage. However, it is said that a broken mirror is hard to round. How to repair a broken marriage? This requires the joint efforts of both husband and wife.
People who cheat should realize that their actions have caused harm to each other, take responsibility, take care of and understand each other's emotions, and take the initiative to prove their loyalty. Some people, after cheating, have the determination to repent, take the initiative to help their wives share housework, play with their children, and make video calls to their wives whether they are working overtime or on business trips. I also recorded my wife's unlocked fingerprints in my mobile phone and told her that she could look at her mobile phone at any time.
Rebuilding trust with sincerity and giving the other half a sense of security with actions and facts can make the other party regain confidence in marriage. People who cheat should look at each other's changes attentively, communicate and accept as much as possible, and can't keep turning over old scores, otherwise they will never turn over.
Conclusion of intransitive verbs
In this process, there may be doubt, sensitivity and anxiety. Accept your negative emotions, let the other person see your pain and accompany you out of the shadows. Please remember that maintaining marriage is not the ultimate goal, but happiness is. "The other half cheated. Should I divorce? " There is no standard answer to this question. You can get a divorce or not. In this way, it is not to defend cheaters, nor to let everyone be wronged in marriage.
No matter what the reason, cheating is a violation of the marriage contract and trampling on the moral bottom line, which is beyond doubt. But the reality is often not black and white. Divorce or not is a personal choice. No one is nobler than anyone else, and no one is humbler than anyone else. It is natural to leave decisively, but it may be a kind of courage to choose to stay and have a good marriage after weighing.