I believe many parents have this trouble: why is it so difficult to raise an "excellent" child?

Obviously everything I do is for the benefit of my children, but why doesn’t he understand me?

Let’s look at two cases: Case 1: Outstanding children have to beat Xiaobai’s mother. She is very worried recently. Her son in elementary school is either being naughty in school, fighting with classmates, being called a parent, or doing homework at home and not wanting to do it.

, she always had to press down to write.

Of course her son's grades were not good. Every time she got good grades, she would feel anxious and angry about her son's grades. She would give him various verbal educations, but it seemed that her son was becoming more and more disgusted with homework and going to school.

She said, "Look at Lingling (the daughter of a good friend). She is very obedient. She has previewed the textbooks long ago during the holidays, done enough exercises, and even wrote double test questions every week after school started. No wonder she is always at the top in her studies."

She said, it seems that if you want to raise excellent children, you can only strengthen control. If it doesn't work, I will give him a beating to see if he is obedient.

Tip: We must respect the laws of children's development and guide them according to the trend. High-pressure measures will only be counterproductive and will not produce good results.

Case 2: You are not good, but the punishment is not enough. Linlin’s father studied hard since he was a child. He passed the exam from the countryside and became a primary school teacher in the city. Later, he had a daughter.

He has always believed in working hard and for his daughter to have a better future, he has always been very strict with her. When his daughter disobeys, he will be beaten.

Growing up, my daughter rarely had the opportunity to play outside. She always read and studied at home. Fortunately, her academic performance has always been among the best, and her cousin is quite satisfied.

But it didn't work when she got to key high schools. There were too many good students and the competition was too fierce. My daughter slowly slipped from the top to the middle.

He was angry and anxious, scolded and punished, and asked his daughter to work harder, and finally her grades improved again.

But my daughter was very anxious about her grades. During the college entrance examination, due to excessive pressure, her grades were much lower than usual and she was unable to go to a good school.

After he learned about the results, he slapped his daughter with hatred, but this slap destroyed her daughter.

From then on, my daughter locked herself in the house every day and stayed in a daze all day long, paying no attention to anyone.

After a long time, he finally realized something was wrong and discovered that his daughter had a mental problem. He took her to see a doctor, but it was already too late. Her daughter suffered from severe depression.

He regretted it very much and took his daughter to see many doctors and spent a lot of money and energy, but his daughter could never return to her former self.

This good, obedient boy was overwhelmed by the excessive study pressure from his father. He suffered from depression and autism, and was unable to live a normal life from then on.

Is it worth ruining a child's life for so-called "excellence"?

How to actively raise "excellent" children?

1. First of all, parents should focus on improving themselves. This has two major benefits. One is to reduce anxiety and no longer focus only on the child. The other is to provide a good example for the child.

2. Give children unconditional love. The love parents give to their children should be unconditional and has nothing to do with grades or performance. Only in this way can children feel that their parents love them.

3. Become a child's friend without being suppressed by your parents' status. Be equal to the child, be his friend, listen to his joys and sorrows, and give him unconditional love.

4. Listen more and preach less. When communicating with your children, listen more and preach less. Only in this way will your children really treat you as a friend and share their inner thoughts with you.

5. Let go appropriately and let the child be independent. Don’t try to know everything and control everything. Let go appropriately and guide the child to manage his own study and life and cultivate his independence.

6. Guide children to develop good habits. Parents should guide their children to develop good study and living habits, which will help their lifelong development.

7. Comply with the child's nature and let his hobbies develop freely. Interest is the best teacher. Do not force the child's hobbies and cultivate interests in accordance with his nature. This will get twice the result with half the effort.

8. Don’t compare, value every bit of progress of your child. Every child has his or her own unique development. Don’t always compare your child with other people’s children, but value every bit of progress of your child.

"Parents must first have a calm mind, accept everything about their children, find their children's strengths, and do not need to be too demanding of their children. After all, their children's physical and mental health is the most important. ② This website does not indicate the text/pictures of "Manuscript source: Yousheng Education"

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