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In relationships, women can easily become obsessed with authority.
As a result, women can experience the beauty of love wholeheartedly, and they are also scarred by it.
01 Zhang Fangyu's "Insights in Solitude": "Good things often fail to meet our expectations, and bad things often exceed our expectations. This is not because the God of fate deliberately plays tricks on us, but an inherent nature of human nature.
Illusions caused by tendencies. "Indeed, most people tend to be optimistic, have good imaginations about the things they insist on, and often deliberately ignore the possible adverse consequences.
There is a popular question on Zhihu: "Everyone knows that Phoenix men cannot marry, so why are there so many urban girls trying to marry?" I think it is because these girls have too optimistic ideas about the future.
Their predictions about married life are too idealistic, and they are too confident in their own abilities. They feel that they have considered it carefully, and coupled with their understanding of the other party, their future marriage will definitely be happy and harmonious.
In fact, this is also a kind of "obsession with the authorities".
02 Reader Ms. Su has been in trouble recently. Not only has she had a quarrel with her "Phoenix Man" boyfriend, but her mother has also treated her hard and softly every day because of her marriage to the "Phoenix Man".
Ms. Su and her boyfriend were introduced to each other through colleagues. They have been dating for more than a year. Their relationship has been very stable and they are compatible in all aspects, so they plan to talk about marriage.
My boyfriend is very good. He is already a middle-level manager in the company when he is just 30 years old. He is also a very decent-looking person. He is always attentive, considerate and affectionate towards Miss Su.
I also respect Miss Su's parents very much, and she is polite and filial.
The only drawback is that he is a "Phoenix Man", a college student from a rural area, and a single parent. He lost his father when he was about 10 years old. He also has a sister and a brother at home.
My boyfriend's mother is now helping others take care of their children in her hometown county. Apart from not having insurance, she has no problem supporting herself. Her boyfriend's sister and brother are not highly educated, are already married, and have average conditions.
03 Ms. Su felt that her mother was very snobbish. When she brought her boyfriend home, her mother was very satisfied with her boyfriend's appearance and conversation. Later, when she heard about her boyfriend's education and work, she was full of praise.
In the end, after learning about her boyfriend's family background and knowing that he was a "Phoenix Man," my mother immediately changed her face and started all kinds of opposition and obstruction.
Even her father, who had always been particularly fond of her, stood on the same side as her mother this time, saying that she was "a fan of the authorities" and would suffer a lot if she got married in the future, and would also bring trouble to her parents.
Ms. Su has a stubborn temper and refuses to listen to advice. She still goes her own way and continues to date her boyfriend. Her parents are also helpless.
Miss Su currently lives with her parents.
In the past two years, she used her own savings and some money funded by her parents to make a down payment on a house, which she planned to use as a wedding room.
Now she and her boyfriend are saving money to decorate their wedding room.
04 Originally, life had been peaceful, but after Miss Su had a quarrel with her boyfriend, her parents began to react violently.
Her father specially found some TV series about "Phoenix Man", such as "The Mother-in-Law Is Here", "Double-sided Tape", etc., and insisted on watching it with her every night when she came home from get off work.
Her mother lectured and scolded her in various ways, and even threatened to go on a hunger strike, firmly opposing her marriage to the "Phoenix Man".
He also repeatedly used this quarrel to make excuses: "Daughter, can't you see?" In fact, this quarrel was just because of a trivial matter.
That day, my boyfriend saw an extra rag doll on Miss Su’s bedside, and casually asked where it came from.
Miss Su didn't hide it, she just said it was a gift from her previous suitor, she kept it in the summer and took it out in the winter.
The boyfriend was very angry after hearing this and threw the doll to the ground.
Ms. Su has always liked rag dolls, but her boyfriend never gave them to her. Instead, he threw them around.
05 Miss Su was also a little angry. She cursed and went to pick it up. Unexpectedly, her boyfriend grabbed it back and threw it on the ground. He even stepped on it. Only then did Miss Su become completely angry and cursed: "Why are you crazy? Get away."
." When her boyfriend saw her angry, he left angrily and ignored Miss Su for several days.
Ms. Su actually liked her boyfriend very much. When she saw her boyfriend ignoring her, she began to worry about gains and losses, and reflected on whether she had gone too far. Her boyfriend had never treated her like this before.
Later, Miss Su couldn't bear it anymore and took the initiative to seek peace with her boyfriend.