one
I don't know since when, I like to sit quietly in the corner alone. Boil a pot of green tea and any chord will fill your heart. I like to recall in a faint calm, holding a simple heart and depicting the traces of youth with a piece of ink. Gradually, the sealed memory was brushed to the end of the pen, where there were tears. When we met, we were destined to pass by. Some pass by, very light, very light, but very painful. ...
This year, I walked into this hospital for the second time. Last time I graduated as a general practitioner, this time I am a junior college student. A few honey friends worked here, and after a busy morning, they went out to get together. Although I contacted occasionally after graduation, after all, it was better to be together every day, and the heat of meeting suddenly turned into a boiling point. The warm welcome ceremony made me excited. After a few drinks, my face was as hot as fire and as red as a big apple. Time flies in unforgettable memories, and my heart can't help pounding at the thought that we can have half a year together to recall the past and talk about the future.
Because it was the first day to report for duty, I had enough time for my classmates to go back to duty, so I came to the backyard alone. Falling leaves, all the way to autumn cool. Still the shade, or the autumn sunshine, a pool of lotus flowers is fragrant. On the familiar side of the aisle, benches are all fragments of old paint, picking up a fallen leaf, and a ray of sadness passes through the fingertips and falls on the yellow vein. Ten years, time flies, half a heart, a piece of paper. You can't draw what you look like when you put pen to paper. When I meet you beautifully, I always end up with a broken dream.
Stepping on the crisp leaves and smelling the faint fragrance of lotus leaves, we approached the pavilion that had invited the moon. The green stone steps have long been full of vicissitudes, and the dark brown wounds cover up the blue. Sitting on the stairs, overlooking the sunshine between buildings. Two apricot trees by the low wall between the inpatient department and the backyard are still there, facing the wind and looking at the last touch of autumn sun. "I planted these two apricot trees, and I like the smell of apricot flowers." Your sincere words echoed gently in my ears. Missing is crazy, and painful missing comes to mind again. I almost returned to the ward at the speed of escape, trying to adjust myself and enter the working state.
Quiet office area, no noise in the morning and afternoon. The blue and white walls have already been replaced by warm pink yellow, and the office area has also been replaced by transparent glass windows. The nurse station moved to the center of the ward, and there was a pot of orchids scattered with fragrance in the long reception desk. Here, there is no original appearance, just seeing all this, my heart is as throbbing as when I first saw it.
two
Time flows in silence, and a touch of the afterglow of the sunset slowly lengthens my figure. I heard footsteps of people scrambling to walk after work, and I walked out of the ward building with them. Finally, I couldn't help but see the emergency center. The exterior wall has been redecorated. The building looks very quiet in the sunset. In fact, this is the watershed of life, with one foot on the boundary of yin and yang. When I think that I have spent 20 years of hard work, standing in the front line and grabbing my life with wisdom, hands and time, there is still an unspeakable emotion surging inside. Although the years have already mottled the vicissitudes of memory, there is a feeling that it will cross the corridor of time and space. An ambulance rang and ran to the tunnel gate. The quiet moment quietly left, leaving only a hurry.
As a doctor, I deeply realized the value of life. I always feel respect for life, starting from every cell, every strand of hair and every layer of structure is a part of life. I still clearly remember the first sentence you said to us: "As a doctor, I hope you can understand the massiness of life more deeply in practice and cherish and cherish the continuation of life. It is our mission to live and live healthily. " When I first came to the clinic, I didn't have enough experience for me to experience, only enthusiasm. I will be in pain with the patient, cry with my family, and be happy to send a patient out of the hospital in a few days. The diary is full of feelings and injuries.
What I remember most is my first night shift in the emergency room. It is also such a late autumn, a curtain of autumn rain keeps falling, and the rustling wind is very cold. On a rainy night, there is only the sound of rain outside the window. The emergency center is brightly lit and has long lost its calm. People are running around under the white fluorescent lamp. Looking at this scene, I sat in the corner of the consulting room at a loss, feeling that everything was so close and so far away from the book. First, an old man with a heart attack was sent away and there was a cry of pain. Then he went to the emergency operation of gastric perforation in digestive surgery, and helped his family to send the patient to the ward and give it to the resident, and went back and forth several times. Except for fatigue, my brain is blank. "Come, look at this patient." You told me firmly. Asked about the medical history, the patient was infected with upper respiratory tract (cold), and I looked at you blankly. "You handle it, I'll add it." This is a simple company. I told the patient from the beginning that during the process of catching a cold, there is no fever, no cough and no medication when it is light. After writing the medical book and telling her a lot of points for attention, the patient said to you, "Doctor, please show me again. This little doctor won't prescribe medicine for me. " "You have mild symptoms. Go back and drink plenty of water, keep warm and visit again at any time. You can stop taking medicine now. " After listening to your positive tone, the patient left easily. I thought I would get praise, but I heard the voice of criticism. "Are you seeing a doctor? Like endorsement, qualified doctors should apply their knowledge flexibly to practice. Caught a cold, and an hour passed. What will you do if you get another serious illness? " I am wronged and muttered, "No, my disposal is right." Before the conversation continued, the urgent ambulance alarm sounded and another patient was pushed in. The stench is disgusting. The courier said that he and Alzheimer's disease are old people, wandering outside, trying to contact his family. You didn't say a word. Check the record carefully and let the nurse bleed and send it to the observation room for silence. I went to the bathroom and threw up again. In the middle of the night, I began to have a fever and was depressed. "The patient didn't finish reading, and the doctor got sick first. Come, drink more hot water." "It's all your fault, I live in the hospital directly. Why are you under observation? I am vomiting. " I'm talking about. "The ward is so busy that no one takes care of him. I can take care of it." "What should I do after work tomorrow morning? Can you take care of so many patients? " I said weakly. "I can arrange it, girl, you have two days off. Slowly you will understand the equality and heaviness of life in the face of illness. " Over the years, I have been reading this book and cherishing every touch from life.
three
I have been trying to become a real doctor. When I go to any department, I will remember to protect the heaviness of life and cherish the health of life. In repeated communication, I can also see the longing in your burning eyes, and I am actively pursuing your life track. I know your loneliness, your obsession with war books, and your tireless pursuit of photography. Every time you are in the yard, you will shuttle through the crowd with your camera on your arm to capture the beauty of the moment. It is full of happiness to let a person live in his heart. Going home for the New Year, I still miss your loneliness, and the stationery silently conveys my endless thoughts. You will often say, "Girl, it's snowing, so put on more clothes." Up to now, there are more than a dozen yellow letters in my bookcase. Many words are about my longing and longing for youth. You can see that life is full of sunshine in your elegant pen. Even though we are far apart, you are still the most beautiful meeting in my life. Once we met, we had cherished each other silently.
Time passed quietly, and the courtyard was fragrant. This summer, let me see at a loss, looking at my mother's letter, I am waiting, an unfulfilled expectation. The last time I asked you out was by the river not far from the yard. It is raining in Mao Mao. Looking across the river, I saw bursts of kitchen smoke in the misty rain. Knowing that you won't appear again, I dragged my numb legs for three hours before returning to the dormitory, and the rain dripped down my long hair. It turns out that there is a ravine between you and me. You don't want to destroy my original peace and let me wander under the secular eyes. If love hadn't come, my heart wouldn't be so painful. Looking at you, my eyes are dim and I can't help crying. Can't we just pass by and I don't want to be a passer-by in your life?
Finally, you are still far away. Even if you walk around, even if you see your hesitation, you still keep your back strong and move forward ... You say: you are happy, I am happy. You are happy, and I am happy. You are old, and I am older than you. Although I was far away, I never left. An emotion comes from sincere you, keep it in mind. Finally understand how helpless life is. Some people worry you, but they can't be together Let go because of love. Because I know you, I know there is no end to my journey home.
four
That year, I heard the bad news that you left, and work became your last watch. Every quiet night has become a space I miss, licking my wounds silently and alone. The autumn waters are boundless, and the fallen flowers are ruthless. Whose tears soaked the graceful lines, leaving only a faint chrysanthemum fragrance in the cold autumn rain.
The afterglow of the setting sun fell obliquely on the emergency porch, and mottled tree shadows were projected on the glass window. I just stood in the autumn wind and looked out. This is the place you've been fighting for all your life. In life, some memories cannot be stranded and forgotten. In the shadow of time, the deepest hurt is always the truest emotion. What was once a little bit turned into an eternal look back in the tearful farewell. The years of wind erosion, my heart, has never gone far. Painful memories pervade every season, and tears of parting quietly become the last swan song between you and me.
When I wrote down my thoughts, I fell into the ink, and my tears turned into sadness. A fallen flower becomes a grave, which means vicissitudes of life. If life is like the first time, I would like to put my hands together and pay tribute to true love without regrets. So quietly watching the sunset fall behind the building, staring at the bleak. After all, you still owe me a wait in this life. I carved your mark on the trunk of memory. Once again, I will bloom my thoughts into lush appearance. As if, you have calmly passed my youth and your blooming.
After years of circulation, it is rainy night and cold autumn. Finally, I learned to look at it indifferently and pour the pain in my memory into my mind. Through the window of my heart, I see your elegant figure, busy in your former port. I have put your figure into my mind countless times, and your smile has already become the most unforgettable ornament on my life. Quietly hiding behind the season, in the background of a fallen leaf, secretly missing. Let the wind blow like broken flowers, and miss the fragrance in the cool autumn flowers.