I'll make you laugh ~ ~
1. In order to protect its trademark, White Rabbit registered more than 1 similar trademarks: Big Grey Rabbit, Big Black Rabbit, Big Flower Rabbit, Small White Rabbit, Golden Rabbit and Silver Rabbit ... But they still neglected Beckham Rabbit, Big Japanese Rabbit, Big Mortar Rabbit, Big White Rabbit and Big White Rabbit. It's really impossible to prevent!
2. The woman anxiously asked the doctor, "What is the survival rate of this disease after surgery?" The doctor replied, "Fifty percent!" The woman nervously asked, "Are you sure?" The doctor said confidently, "No problem, it will be successful this time! Because forty-nine people have died in front! "
3. The pig woke up from a nightmare and cried to his mother, "I dreamed that I would be a sailor when I grew up, but I don't like being a sailor." Mother pig stroked the pig's head and said, "silly child, don't be afraid. Dreams are all against you." Sure enough, piggy made ham instead of being a sailor.
4. When I was a child, I went to the fields with seven or eight children to steal sweet potatoes and bake them. It's baking, a buddy said, let's become sworn brothers! As soon as everyone heard it, they agreed, ordered three corn stalks and kowtowed in the ground, and they will share weal and woe in the future. The sweet potato is baked, and we fought over the sweet potato!
5. My family name is Sun, and my father wanted me to be twice as powerful as Sun Yat-sen, so he gave me a name: Sun Chuanchu. Hehe, my heart is so tired. . On the bus today,
I accidentally squeezed into a pregnant woman. . .
Just as she wanted to apologize, she spoke first: "Be careful, will you pay for squeezing it out?"
I can laugh every time I watch it.
Once upon a time, there was an elk. It was playing in the forest and got lost by accident. So it called its good friend giraffe: "Hey … I'm lost." The giraffe heard this and replied, "Hey, my giraffe is spicy. "
She got angry and made a dash for the door. He rushed downstairs to stop her and took the door back.
"Is LAY exo's?" "Friend, E is silent." "Oh, is Zhang Xing from exo?"
One day, Meng Po was cooking Meng Po soup. He wanted to taste the salty water, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste the salty light, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction
"Ziwei! Ziwei! Have you seen my crape myrtle? !” "Isn't your mouth on your face?"
The fate with Beijing is also wonderful. In the year of college entrance examination, Peking University gave our school a place to walk, but I didn't choose to go to Peking University. On the one hand, I didn't like the climate in Beijing, on the other hand, I wasn't the one who was walked.
"I have a buddy who used to be a gangster and was poor. Later, he washed his hands and now he has made a fortune." "Awesome, how did he get rich?" "Sell the basin."
Fish: Big ~ ~ Fish ~ ~ Big ~ ~ Fish ~ ~ What do you like to eat ~ ~ Yay ~ ~ Fish: I like to eat fish that talk very slowly. Fish: Oh, sauce made
The young man asked the Zen master anxiously, "Master, nuclear pollution, global warming, earthquakes, tsunamis and other natural disasters continue, what will happen to mankind?" The master took out a raw duck egg and a salted duck egg and smashed them on the young people's heads respectively. Ask the young man, "Which hurts more?" The young man replied, "Salty eggs hurt!" The Zen master said, "If the idle egg hurts, find something to do!"
I once singled out the whole server with an AK47. . . .
I went out to see an old man fall down. I asked, "My salary is 2, yuan a month. Can you help you get up?" Uncle "Go, young man." I quickly said "Uncle, there's a Ferrari coming over there." Uncle said "Just don't go and be a witness for me. I'll buy you a car to work when I'm done." Although the weather is cold, my uncle's words are warm. < P > I went to have breakfast this morning and saw people now! After breakfast, I played games with my mobile phone and chatted on WeChat ... When I saw this, I felt inexplicably that the society had changed, so I silently took out my Nokia and played with a snake ...
The child came to his mother crying, and her mother asked: What's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.
brisket: "I'm out of the pot and feel good." Tang asked, "How do you feel?" Beef brisket smiled slightly: "I feel that my personality is shining, full of noble moral values, and I have good education and sentiment." T: "What do you mean?" Beef brisket: "It means that I am not bad enough."
There is a community in the school that is very open and can say anything, so one day I gave a speech … A female classmate said proudly on the podium, "I am proud of my flat chest, and I save cloth for the country." . 。” Say that finish, everyone applauded. . Only one person in the corner replied faintly: "Are you cheating? These days, everyone knows that the bigger the chest, the less you wear. " After that, everyone applauded ...
After a few days and nights of breathing by 2 million people in Beijing, the air quality in Beijing has finally improved. The new spirit of Beijing was born: "Be virtuous and fog-laden, strive for self-improvement, work hard, and create a gray yellow again!" Facts have proved once again that fog is more expensive to suck! ...
Doctor: "Have you eaten anything recently?" Patient: "No. That is, I usually eat the rest of my children, I eat the rest of my husband, and I eat the rest of my parents. " Doctor: "I suggest you have a pig." Patient: "Why, I have to eat the leftovers from pigs [question]"
The vicious witch cast a spell on the prince, who can only say one word a year. The prince has a beloved girl, and the prince has been silent for three years to say I love you to her. Three years later, the prince rushed out of the door and tripped over the threshold. Prince: "Oh, fuck!" "
since I entered the summer, I have been favored by mosquitoes. There are so many people in this dormitory that mosquitoes spoil me alone, so I advised mosquitoes to be exposed to rain and dew, but mosquitoes would not listen. Mosquito, just bite me, just bite me. How can you call this slavery? Well, last night, I was summoned by mosquitoes, buzzing and staying up all night. My body is very tired ~~
My wife is fine, but she has no patience and a little impatient. Last night, my wife helped my son study. There is a math problem. After several explanations, my son still scratched his head and didn't understand it. My wife suddenly became impatient and shouted,' How can you be as stupid as your father? Say that finish'' clap'' and give me a slap! I was deceived on the spot ... Wife: I can't bear to hit my son! Me: .....
I was shopping with my wife. A beautiful woman in a low-cut dress in front of me accidentally lost her mind, and suddenly remembered that her wife was beside me, trying to explain a few words. Unexpectedly, the second-rate wife rushed up to the beautiful woman and said, Beauty, my brother said that your breasts are so big! Can you let him play? 1, of me passed by, and my face was swollen ...
Every time a buddy and I went to dinner, he said we would go to the bathroom when we checked out, and then I paid the bill. Before he could say anything, I hurried to the bathroom first, and when I came out, the waiter stopped me. "That man just said that you would check out after you went to the bathroom! ! ！” Shit! ! ! Decisive friends are exhausted! ! !
It is said that JJ, who has a big nose, went shopping with his wife. In front of him, a beautiful woman in a low-cut dress accidentally lost her sight, and suddenly remembered that her wife was nearby, trying to explain a few words. Unexpectedly, the second-rate wife rushed up to the beautiful woman and said, Beauty, my brother said that your breasts are so big! Can you let him play? 1, of me passed by, and my face was swollen ... < P > Teacher, it's better for you to teach.