Reasons for unhappy marriages

How is your married life? So why do some people have unhappy marriages? The following are the reasons for unhappy marriages that I recommend to everyone. I hope Everyone gained something.

1. Don’t treat marriage as an investment. Marriage is not an investment.

The time you invest in marriage is not to pay a deposit, and you will come back if you can’t make it, so don’t use marriage as a burden. When people are in an unhappy marriage, they instinctively use "Can a marriage actually be happy?" to convince themselves to save it, but they always use the excuse of investing too much time in it to continue suffering. The days and nights spent together in a happy marriage benefit people a lot. They have beautiful memories, the joy of starting a family, and a more comfortable life. But once the marriage breaks up, especially when the relationship completely collapses and neither party takes time to take care of it (operating it), you should not use the years invested in the marriage as a reason to forcefully recover.

2. Believe that you deserve better, and don’t regard your life and happiness as an anonymous trademark.

If you are not learning to play the piano, you are not an athlete, you need to train eight hours a day to stay in shape, and you are not hand-painting the Sistine Chapel, then erase the false saying that "payout = reward", you are worth it. It's much more than that. Don't treat yourself, your relationship, and your life as bargaining chips, you deserve better. Treating marriage as an investment of time and using it as an excuse to continue to shrink into a corner of the crumbling marriage building is just self-harm and self-deprecation.

3. After marriage, I will teach you countless things, but I don’t owe you a single thing.

This lesson is not meant to sound outrageous. In marriage, most people have wonderful memories, and it is significant to acknowledge the existence of these good times. It is these memories that give us happiness and help us grow. But selective memory requires caution. You must realize that these not-so-good memories are not collateral, nor a reason for you to stay in a dead marriage. You may have been married for 5, 10, or even 20 years, and you have made many sacrifices in your marriage. Or you may feel that you are owed something for all these years of unhappiness. However, using it as a bargaining tool and taking happiness for granted is of no use.

You must regard these married life as an experience. It is this kind of companionship that teaches you to deal with feelings, take care of family and self-understanding. Please be grateful for these lessons and don't use them as threats to maintain a marriage full of holes, otherwise it will only cut off your chance to continue on.

4. Maybe you are just afraid that the years after marriage will prevent you from getting out of your current unhappy marriage. This is not a big deal.

Even if you hate each other, at least you have been happy in this relationship for a while, and in most cases, you can take control of your own life. The end of a relationship means that the life vision you planned for yourself also comes to an end? This is a very common desire to live like other ordinary people. You may be afraid of starting over again, afraid? Starting from scratch, no matter what kind of fear it is? That's because you feel that you are no longer young, financially unstable, mentally and physically exhausted, and can no longer withstand the hardships.

Give yourself more confidence? Realize that you have a lot of advantages than you think, such as being smart, organized, and adaptable.

It’s common to be afraid of starting over. Everyone is afraid, but at the same time, it is also the driving force that drives you to the next stop of happiness. That is your real excellence. Stop hesitating, stop using the lame excuse of "I spent too much time in marriage", step out of fear, skip the bargaining of feelings, and your life will usher in the next spring.

5. The time you invest cannot be equated with the happiness you get. You have to find happiness by yourself.

Despite the heartbreak, despite the hard work and dedication, sometimes marriage still goes away along its destined trajectory. It doesn’t matter, just stride forward; it doesn’t matter, it’s just starting over; it doesn’t matter, you can find your own happiness!

However, sometimes, investing time means a kind of responsibility.

When you start or are building your new life, time will give you a choice: should you live in anger and bitterness? Or should you live in a state of intoxication with the heartache of the loss of your marriage? Or invest time in yourself and pursue happiness. Once you are born, you will be buried in deep hurt and pain due to breakup or divorce. This is not your destiny. But it is destined to make achievements, seize the opportunity and stride forward, and become a strong, compassionate, and happy mortal. Spend your whole life investing in happiness, it’s time well spent! ;