Lao Fantou lay on the bed in the county hospital and was confused for three days. In a daze, he saw his father, who had been dead for many years, sitting on the sofa in the living room, holding a freshly picked steaming pig egg in his hands and eating it with gusto, with mushy egg juice flowing from the corner of his mouth. The coffee table was covered with bloody eggs of various animals. A disgusting stench filled the whole house. He vomited again reflexively.
Fan Weiqian is from Liugouzi Village, Wuhong Town, and is in his fifties. As for the name Fan Weiqian, it is rarely mentioned in idle gossip. People call him Lao Fantou, which is somewhat derogatory.
Dr. Fan, Lao Fantou’s father, was a second-rate rural barefoot doctor in his early years. There are two extremely sharp front teeth that stick out from the lip. Among all the titles, he was most satisfied with the title "Doctor Fan". He had seen doctors, worked as a groom, sold livestock, and sold rat poison. As early as when he was in the agricultural cooperative, Dr. Fan used to take advantage of the off-farm time to ride a dilapidated permanent bicycle. There was a wire tied with red silk cloth on the handlebar, and an khaki medical bag made of ancestral rawhide hung on it. , a man who went from village to village shouting to groom pigs and gelding animals for people. He was the only gelding craftsman in the surrounding villages. No matter who has a newly caught piglet or even an adult donkey, he will go and cook it if anyone asks him to do it. It only takes a matter of minutes. Old Man Fan's pig and donkey scream was amazing: he squeezed the tied animal egg bag into his hand, and the egg-sized egg was like an inflated balloon, shining brightly from his fingers to the palm of his hand. In the middle, he took out the gelding knife that had been prepared from his mouth and scratched the egg skin, then squeezed hard, and the two white eggs came out with a "squeaking" sound. Then he pulled out the sperm ribbon and bit it with his high-pitched front teeth, and the animal's fresh eggs fell into his hands. Then apply clear oil on the wound, sprinkle some peppercorns, pull the animal's tail and slap it on the back. The whole process is clean and neat, never sloppy, just charge a few dollars and it's done. After returning home, it all depends on the number of eggs. There are also those who don't have enough yang energy and come to ask for three or two, and they have to pay some amount of worry fee. It is said that Lao Fantou was born after he ate two cow eggs. This is also an advertisement slogan that he often appears in. Since the surgeries he performed never caused inflammation, the villagers didn't mind giving him a few extra coins, and he lived a peaceful life.
? When Dr. Fan was traveling around the world, he made a classic deal: first he used twenty yuan to buy an electronic watch, then used the electronic watch to buy a handful of three-stringed instruments, and finally took three Xianzi dumped a pregnant donkey, and finally made a net profit of 900 yuan, and also lost a baby donkey. Lao Fantou was so impressed by his father's shrewdness.
After Lao Fantou graduated from high school in 1980, Fan Weiqian became a forest ranger because the canal for watering the forest farm occupied half of the farmland of his family's pig feed plot. After becoming a full-time employee, he was transferred to the Township Agricultural Machinery Center, where he stayed for decades.
? During the forest protection period, grazing is prohibited near the forest farm. But there was a 17- or 18-year-old sheep-herding girl in the village who often secretly drove the sheep to the forest farm for grazing. Once, Lao Fantou caught him and told him to call the police and hand him over to the police station. The girl wet her pants. You can do whatever you say, except call the police. Without saying a word, Lao Fantou took off the girl's pants. From then on, the girl became the only one who dared to herd sheep near or in the forest farm. Later, the girl's parents realized that something was wrong and the matter was irreversible, so they went to a hospital in another city to give birth to a baby boy. They heard that the baby boy was adopted by a couple in the city. Because of her bad reputation, the girl had to marry an old bachelor who was herding sheep in Mongoliatan.
Lao Fantou is smooth and stingy, he acts high-profile but is very stingy. To be honest, no one could look down upon his conduct, but due to work, he had to mix with him every day.
? Lao Fantou is very knowledgeable about eating: if he pays for a treat, he will calculate the accounts very carefully. Even if he weighs two ounces of braised pork, he must go to the stage in person, bend down and shrink his neck. See if the pointer is exactly on the 2-tael scale; this - wild vegetables can detoxify, leeks can aphrodisiac, shredded potato can beautify, tomatoes contain many vitamins, a set of them can always make people convinced; drink alcohol He pays attention to total quantity control, saying that drinking too much can lead to accidents; if someone else pays for it, he will drink as much as he wants and get drunk. What to say: "Money, paper, money! Drink, drink, water! Tobacco, grass, smoke!"; If he goes to a restaurant to eat, he will take turns to adjust the oil, salt, sauce and vinegar on the table until he can no longer adjust it. As for being a host to the public, he is very lively. He will take the initiative to order hard dishes that are not available on ordinary days. Gourmet waiting. Packing after a meal is a model of frugality: there are no leftovers, and the waiter is only responsible for taking away the tableware. As soon as words such as "promoting frugality" and "Operation CD-ROM" come out of his mouth, he will immediately reach a certain political height, and his preaching will make others feel embarrassed.
Once he and a colleague went to a restaurant to eat. He ate all the fried half-bowl of chili peppers and returned seven or eight garlic cloves. His forehead was so spicy that sweat broke out. I kept asking the waiter for noodle soup and sprinkled with coriander leaves. Before leaving the house, he took out a thick stack of napkins and stuffed them into his trouser pocket. The waiter looked at him for a long time, but the old fan became angry: "What are you looking at! You are a part-time worker...". The conflict escalated at the first sight, causing his colleagues to pull him away and run away.
A few years ago, a colleague with whom he had a somewhat estranged relationship had just bought a new set of clothes, and he clamored for a treat to his colleague. And tell everyone that my colleagues are very happy! Before his colleagues could react, he set off the firecrackers with a loud bang. During the meal, he insisted on drinking. Everyone repeatedly said that drinking is not a good idea because the roads are slippery in winter. But he stubbornly believes that it is not etiquette without wine, and it is not a treat without wine. He took the initiative to go to the front desk and asked for two bottles of wine, saying that if his colleagues didn't pay for the wine, he would treat everyone else. My colleagues couldn't afford to embarrass this person, so they paid the bill and left right after the meal, which made everyone feel embarrassed. Except for him who drank a few taels, no one else touched his lips. As usual, he was packing, holding two bottles of wine in his arms, and his fingers were covered with large and small plastic bags. Because it had just snowed yesterday, when he came out of the restaurant, he slipped and fell onto his back. A bottle of wine flew to the sidewalk and was smashed to pieces. The other bottle of wine was tightly protected in his arms and fell on his chest. It was full of oily soup and spicy water, and it took a long time to calm down. The slightly drunk old fan insisted on asking for an explanation from the restaurant, but unexpectedly he met the dominatrix-like proprietress: "If you don't take off the non-slip carpet at the front entrance, who told you to go through the side door? If you don't fall, I won't. I know you took my wine glass!" In the end, the landlady gave him a pack of napkins to wipe the oil stains on his clothes, and the matter was settled.
? There is no doubt that Lao Fantou’s family is rich. In recent years, a lot of real estate has been purchased. There are several sets of shops, which are now rented out to others for business; one set each of low-rent housing, public rental housing, and commercial housing. At current prices, it is estimated to be at least three million. Of course, there are also a lot of loans, and I often ask people to guarantee the loans. This makes Lao Fantou often unable to sleep. In addition to leaving a small fraction of Lao Fantou's salary for living expenses, almost all of it was deducted by the bank for loans.
? To say that Lao Fantou is shrewd means that he is as sensitive to money as a cat smelling fish: when he hears the sound of something falling while walking, he must lower his head. , searched carefully; once he was out in the car, and suddenly made a noise to go to the toilet, and insisted on the driver stopping the car. When he got on the bus, he held a hundred-yuan coin in his hand and said, "Now this coin is made just like the real thing."
When he was still working in the forest farm, he and his colleagues once worked out the food bill. Is it the duality triangle or the whole duality thing that caused a falling out, I still can’t forget it. When meeting people, he would say that his colleague was a "hard cock", that his character was questionable, that he took money very seriously, and that he was difficult to deal with.
In this regard, Lao Fantou has his own principles: a gentleman loves money and gets it in a proper way, and personal gains are debts and should not be touched. If you don't take advantage of the government, it will be in vain. If you take advantage of it, it will be in vain. Whoever doesn't take advantage of it will take it in vain!
? Lao Fantou is a very realistic person. He never reads and has no religious beliefs. When the old father passed away, he couldn't agree with the Taoist priest about the labor fee for chanting sutras. He would beat people when he took off his filial piety shirt.
? According to his own words, Lao Fantou's fortune depends on fate and brains. As early as the year he got married and separated, he spotted a piece of land next to the railway that he didn't care about. He used his Sunday time after get off work to circle a large piece of land and planted fruit tree saplings brought from the forest farm. The year after the fruit was first harvested, we caught up with the land acquisition for the railway and received hundreds of thousands of yuan in compensation. While still negotiating, he dragged his relatives to buy two shops in the county. We agreed to transfer the money as soon as we got it, but there was still tens of thousands of dollars left before the house price, so we spent money on food, loans, and borrowed money here and there, and finally the dust settled. But it also left tens of thousands of dollars in debt. For this reason, he never regretted it, saying that this is called investment, and most people don't have such a brain.
That year the Qin Opera Troupe came to the village and stayed at his house. Shui Ling's daughter Yu'er first learned opera from the coquettish pillar of the troupe, and then she actually got on stage once. Everyone said that Yu'er was born to be an opera singer, so when the troupe left, they also took Yu'er with them ----- Yu'er went to the provincial capital. In the first two years, maybe I just learned some crafts and made a living. In the next two years, I heard that the troupe was disbanded and Yu'er relied on her own connections to make a living on her own. Every year, Lao Fantou was sent 70,000 to 80,000 yuan, so that Lao Fantou became a local hidden rich. When people ask about Yu'er, the old fan always says: "Girls have no control over their father, and besides, they earn clean money!" While people are envious, they can't help but make random guesses: Yu'er has become a star; Yu'er's business I'm so hairy...
Since one year in the twelfth lunar month, Yu'er has been wearing a bright red bud cotton hat, a black fur cloak, shiny long boots and a fellow fan. After Tou, a man of his own age, returned home, Lao Fan Tou was like an eggplant beaten by frost, no longer showing off his beauty in front of others.
? Lao Fantou seems to be born with a bright future. That year, the county planned to acquire land for the industrial park, and his yard and ancestral graves were included in the requisition scope. Lao Fantou thought about it carefully: the land acquisition measures the area of ????the house, and the number of ancestral graves is the number of ancestral graves. It just so happens that the hundreds of thousands sent by Yu'er are still there due to unknown origins, so why not take the opportunity to make a profit by borrowing chickens to lay eggs? So in just a few days, the yard was completely covered with water. In the end, he and the woman spent the night building a chicken coop to calculate the money, and a lot of compensation was paid for the new mounds of soil in the ancestral graves. Some people in Murakami laughed at him for loving money and being shameless, while others were impressed by his shrewdness.
? Lao Fantou is rich again. But he is a person who can't live idle when he has money. He can't keep 7 or 8 million on hand, let alone deposit it in a bank. Otherwise, it will be a headache for relatives and friends to come to borrow money. He discussed with his wife and bought a commercial house in the city and two shops in the new development zone. After going back and forth, I owed nearly hundreds of thousands of yuan in foreign debt.
In recent years, he and a distant relative jointly rented a building facing the street in Liushi and opened a hotel. Since Lao Fantou was tied to a job and couldn't get out of his daily routine, he naturally had to stay at work and stay behind, so he had to let his relatives take care of the business. Because there are often customers asking if there are other services, they will not check in if there is no service; there are also pairs of students and children, and even old men bringing girls to open rooms and so on, everyone is there. The relative is a regular person, but the more he works, the more angry he becomes, and he is ready to leave his job and go home. On the contrary, the old fan persuaded him openly, you are in business, just accept the house for how much it costs, no matter whether Ximen Qing took Pan Jinlian, or Cixi took Li Lianying! In the end, they had different opinions and did not work together. The relatives considered themselves unlucky and returned to their hometown. Lao Fantou doesn't think so. He believes that losing money in business is fundamentally a matter of concept. He immediately decided to let his son, who was in the second year of high school, drop out of school and take over the business.
? Even though his son Fan Xuehui is in his early twenties, he is even smarter than the old Fan! This is also a topic that Lao Fantou often talks about. In addition, Lao Fantou personally visited the scene and took charge for a period of time. One year later, not only did the hotel come back to life, but his son also opened a new bathing center, and the business was booming. The son had a promising future and was too busy all day long, so he repeatedly called his sister Yu'er from the provincial capital to come to Liushi to help. Yu'er had nothing serious to do, so she took her three-year-old daughter Guo Chunhai to Liushi. Since Yu'er arrived, Xuehui's business has been booming and extremely popular. Yu'er also became the general manager of Yulongwan Bathing Center. When Lao Fantou met everyone, he would talk about how the two children were having fun outside, and he felt very happy. Lao Fantou would go to Liushi to stay for a few days every long holiday. But the son and daughter were too busy to take care of themselves. After hastily settling down for a dinner, they went off to do their own things. He can't get used to the takeaways ordered by his son and daughter, so he often pays for them to go to restaurants.
Lao Fantou has never been picky about what he wears. For him, his son’s leftover famous brands are too many for him to wear: Peak’s casual wear, Anta’s sneakers, and Jordan’s sweatpants. I often pinch the trademark on it inadvertently. He is afraid that others will say that he is following the trend. After all, he is a lot of years old. The clothes worn by a child in his twenties will inevitably make people make irresponsible remarks. Lao Fantou also changed his mobile phone very frequently, changing one model every few months. Apple and Samsung were all high-end products. He was most afraid of people asking if his son had eliminated them!
? Lao Fantou also put a lot of thought into his son's lifelong affairs. The trustee found many girls of his choice, but his son always shaved his head and picked a hot one, and never took it to heart. He was only thirty, but he had three wedding ceremonies. It made Lao Fan unable to raise his head when he mentioned this matter.
In the twelfth lunar month of last year, my son had a broken spine due to an affair with local gangsters. Fortunately, he received timely treatment and is now able to get out of bed and walk. In addition, the central government began to rectify the service industry, and the businesses in Liushi had to close their stalls. Most of his son's savings were taken away by his sister Yu'er, and the siblings turned against each other several times. Xuehui threatened to kill this heartless bitch sooner or later. Yu'er also sent a message that if Xuehui dared to act rashly, tell all his shameful things and let the Public Security Bureau arrest him and put him in jail. As a father, even though he tried to coordinate several times to no avail, he ended up like Zhu Bajie looking in the mirror - he was no longer a human being inside and out.
Lao Fantou himself once secretly calculated that after decades of hard work and hard work, all his family property and debts were combined, and his net worth was at least 2 million. Even if his son had nothing to do, he could only earn rent He can also live a moderate life. What worries him is that society is developing so fast. What will he do if he has grandchildren in the future?
? Because of his ambitious life plan, the frugal days of Lao Fantou are still the same. I often tell my wife that one day when we sell the real estate in the city, it will be worth at least 800,000 yuan. When the time comes, we will take the cut off hands and spread out the red notes to Beijing.
? In the past two years, house prices have been rising, so Lao Fantou’s wish has not yet come true. Therefore, "the revolution has not yet succeeded, we still need to work hard!" said Lao Fantou.
One day in July, he suddenly felt dizzy. As usual, he drank a glass of boiled water and lay on the bed for a while, and then he felt fine. This time I drank several times of water, and even after lying down for a long time, I still couldn't relax.
? His roommate saw that his face was pale and drove him to the hospital for examination. He was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors and had to be transferred to the provincial capital when his condition stabilized. The son has not recovered from his illness, and the daughter is like a stranger again. When there were no outsiders, my wife kept crying and complained: "I will never have a good life if I follow a stingy guy like you in this life. I have been calculating for a lifetime, and you have calculated such a result..." Lao Fan His head lay on the hospital bed like a dead fish, his eyes staring straight at the ceiling. Suddenly, with frightened eyes, he motioned to his wife to bring the basin over. After a convulsive vomiting, he let out a long breath.
He said to his wife in a weak voice: "Just transfer to another hospital. Remember to bring the urinal under the bed. You don't need to buy it when you get there!"