01

Yesterday, I watched an episode of Round Table.

The program mentioned a person's name - Mao Kankan.

Mao Kankan appears to the public as a post-80s entrepreneur.

After financing failure and bankruptcy, he was unable to save his career, so he decided to end his life.

The implicit meaning of the conversations of several guests is probably because he has high EQ and IQ.

However, because he lacked the ability to resist setbacks and was unable to withstand the pressure when faced with adversity, he could not better adjust and get rid of it, so he chose to commit suicide.

I think of Rao Xueman's novel "Li Ge". There is a very outstanding boy in the book named Mao Bei.

Mao Bei was born into an elite family in a small city. His family was well off and his parents loved him.

He was among the best among his peers from elementary school to high school, and he almost never encountered any difficulties.

On the eve of the college entrance examination, he swore in front of his friends: "I, Mao Bei, will definitely be admitted to Peking University in the future and leave here!" He said it with certainty.

On the eve of the Chinese language exam, Mao Bei had a cold and got up a little late. He hurried to the exam room without being late.

But in desperation, I forgot to bring my admission ticket.

Mao Bei panicked immediately, sweating profusely, and hurried home to get his admission ticket.

When he came back, half an hour had passed and Mao Bei could no longer enter the examination room.

He cried bitterly all the way home, locked himself in the bedroom, and remained silent despite his parents calling.

Mao Bei did not go to the next few exams.

"I've lost a whole grade, why should I take the test!" He screamed at his parents in the bedroom.

On the night after the college entrance examination, Mao Bei opened the balcony window of his bedroom, jumped off the balcony, and left a suicide note: "I am a loser."

Regardless of whether it was Mao Bei in the novel , or Mao Kankan in reality, we will all find that many people have too negative attitudes towards setbacks.

02

General Patton said: The measure of a person's success is not the height at which he reaches the top, but his ability to bounce back when he reaches the bottom.

This is called reverse quotient.

Adversity Quotient, the full name is Adversity Quotient, or AQ for short.

Adversity quotient is a concept proposed by Paul Stoltz, also known as frustration quotient or adversity quotient. It refers to the way people react when facing adversity, that is, the ability to face setbacks, get out of trouble, and overcome difficulties.

In layman's terms, reverse quotient means understanding that "there is hope while alive".

If IQ and EQ are the ability to deal with others, then reverse quotient is the ability to deal with oneself.

The debate topic in one issue of Qi Pa is as follows: Should we be grateful for the critical blows of life?

Cai Kangyong said: Life is a cycle of critical strikes, and there is no life without critical strikes.

This kind of critical attack is called frustration.

When I watched the drama "The Hunting Ground" before, I suddenly felt distressed when I saw Hu Ge in the drama.

Zheng Qiudong, played by Hu Ge, is in some ways very much like himself along the way.

After being involved in a car accident, he put himself to death and survived.

From a "Brother Xiaoyao" who became popular due to his good looks, he has transformed into a powerful but humble, quiet and capable person.

Hu Ge is actually a person with a very high reverse quotient.

Faced with the danger of being blind and disfigured after a car accident, he can still laugh and talk:

If I were blind, I could still play Ke Zhen'e.

His appearance was disfigured, and he didn’t even need to put on makeup to play Mei Chaofeng, but director Zhang’s version could surpass it.

No one is so funny.

If you often read biographies, you will find that successful people have very high reverse quotients.

They all have the ability to accept a blow and repair themselves quickly.

03

How to improve your adverse quotient? Here are 3 tips.

① Learn to give up.

There is such a fragment in writer Jiang Rong's "Wolf Totem".

In order to catch wild animals, local people will set up a kind of animal trap on the grassland.

That kind of powerful mechanism can firmly clamp the legs of the beast.

But they rarely catch wolves.

It’s not because wolves are smart and can cleverly avoid traps.

But after the wolf is trapped, it will bite off the trapped legs as soon as possible and then escape.

There is a Chinese idiom called "A strong man cuts off his wrist", which refers to this kind of wisdom and courage.

So, when you feel like you can’t carry it on, think about whether you are holding on to something that you should let go of?

American writer Greg said: It is precisely what you think you want that prevents you from pursuing what you are really looking for.

Giving up is to maintain the balance of life.

No matter who you are, you must admit your limitations and give up part of your life when you pass the curve of life.

② Accept failure.

On TV, we often see some award-winning athletes standing on the podium with tears in their eyes.

But it is often overlooked that there are more athletes whose careers actually end in failure.

Isn’t life like this?

In the Lifelong Growth Dictionary entry "232: Failure", Jingdu Jun mentioned: Failure is inevitable.

Failure is the only way for everyone. We always preach the importance of success, but ignore the inevitability of failure.

People are always ordinary and must have their own limitations. If you don’t do well, you don’t have to cling to it.

Change the road, and the next step will be a turning point, all hope and hope.

③ Maintain a sense of control.

We must develop a positive attitude that can stabilize everything and deal with it calmly under various adverse situations.

This is the ability to control the surrounding environment.

People with a strong sense of control believe that man can conquer nature and there must be more methods than problems. They know how to reflect and learn from experience.

The book "The University of Frustration" mentions:

We are all studying in a great school - a university full of setbacks. Its playground is the entire universe, and its principal is God.

In this school, we can learn everything we need, and then write what we learn into our own book of experience.

All increases in personal experience are accompanied by pain. No one falls into a ditch and climbs out feeling relieved.

Luo Zhenyu said: Growth is the gap between the subjective world and the objective world. Falling in is called frustration, and climbing out is called growth.

Therefore, it is better to look at adversities with a "growth mindset".

People with strong hearts gradually grow up through setbacks and failures one after another.

Just like a baby learning to walk, wrestling itself is a learning process.

04

I have watched a Douban high-scoring American drama "This is us", and there is a line in it that is particularly good:

You have to learn how to The most sour lemon that life gives you, turns into a cup of sweet lemon juice.

After being disappointed, you will meet hope again. Only after collapse can you have the strength to move forward.

As long as you keep moving forward, don’t abandon or give up, the difficulties will eventually pass.

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