1. A teacher-student pair always likes to be a couple. One day, Mr. Wang looked at the sky and read the first couplet. "If it snows in the sky, it will turn into rain when it reaches the ground. It will be troublesome if it turns into rain, so it is better to rain in the first place." The student replied: "Sir, if you don't eat shit when you eat, the food will turn into shit in your stomach. It will be troublesome to turn into shit, so it is better to eat shit in the first place."

2. Man: "Your legs must be very tired!" Woman: "Why?" Man: "Because you have been running in my mind all day" Woman: "I think it's okay. Because your brain is too small”

3. The chemist finally promised his girlfriend to cook her dinner. When his girlfriend came back from get off work, she saw the chemist still playing with his flask and alcohol lamp. Seeing his girlfriend's disappointed expression, the chemist comforted him and said, "Don't worry, dear, the salt will be extracted in 5 minutes."

4. At a banquet, a guest said to the host: "I think ...It is very impolite to leave before the banquet is over." Host: "It seems that I have to ask someone to kick you out!"

5. The economics teacher talked about luxury goods one day. , in order to facilitate understanding, he said: "Do students know what luxury goods are? Suppose you are shopping with your girlfriend, and your girlfriend stares at something for more than 30 seconds, and you pay for it, then this thing is a luxury product . Continuing shopping, your girlfriend stared at something for more than 30 seconds. Classmates, then your girlfriend is a luxury product!

6. Once in class, in a quiet classroom, someone The classmate suddenly started to hiccup, and everyone was in an uproar. The teacher smiled and said, "What I said is difficult to understand. Everyone should digest it carefully when they go back." ”

7. There were one or two people who loved to brag. One day, one person came back from other places and said: I have seen a taller soybean outside. The other one said: I have a soybean at home. One day, I fell down and it took me three days to get up. "That's such a big millstone!" Another one said: Without a millstone as big as mine, how could it grind soybeans as big as yours?

8. On the battlefield, a wounded soldier who was undergoing surgery suddenly woke up, looked at the doctor, and asked puzzledly: "Why did you use the knife and scissors on my leg?" The doctor: "Look for the bullet. "Wounded soldier: "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I have a lot in my pocket!"

9. I have given away so much, but I don't know if I will ever get over it. A colleague once worked in a restaurant and played It's better. That day - she said to me: Jelly, let me tell you, if you find something wrong with the food when you go out to eat in the future, don't change it if the restaurant manager asks you to change it. Don't eat it, just leave, because if you change the dishes, the chef will spit in the dishes!

1. In ancient times, a foreign envoy came to our country to offer treasures! , the emperor asked: "What are you offering?" "

The envoy said: "This object is the rare treasure of our country, the 'Three Color Orb'"

Your Majesty, "What is the 'Three Color Orb'"

The envoy was careful and respectful. He presented the treasure and explained: "If this bead is cut with a knife, it will be brown on the outside, white in the middle, and yellow-red on the inside. That’s why it’s called the ‘three-color orb’, which is extremely rare.”

After the emperor ordered someone to present it, he looked at it carefully for a long time and said with a smile: “Oh, isn’t this a salted duck egg?”

2. The county magistrate met with his superior. After discussing business, the superior asked: "I heard that monkeys are produced in your county. How big are they?" "

The county magistrate hurriedly replied: "The big monkey is as big as an adult. "

Suddenly I felt that these words were rude, and I was afraid and regretful. I quickly bent down and continued: "A little monkey has such a humble job. ”

3. A rich man had three sons. The eldest was Ren’er, the second was Yi’er, and the younger was Yin’er.

One day, the three sons were fighting together. The rich man hurriedly asked someone to protect his younger son.

He said: "There is no shame in benevolence and righteousness. What I love most is Yin'er!" ”

4. There is a very bold girl in our school. Once she was hit by an oncoming person at the bus station. She felt something was wrong. When she touched her pocket, her phone was gone. So she stepped forward and pulled her away. The resident asked him to return the phone. Many people were watching, but the girl refused to let go, so the thief had to give her the phone.

gc... The girl took back her cell phone and slapped the thief angrily. The thief had a complicated expression at that time, and then he snatched the girl's mobile phone with lightning speed and ran away... The girl was stunned at that time, and the phone was gone before she even got it.

5. I still boast about my happiness and say that this man only loves me. He is very handsome, and many girls surround him, but he is always obedient. gc is coming! ~I went to his house to look for him, intending to give him a surprise, but I saw him kissing goodbye on the stairs! ! ! I cried on the spot and walked over. The man left. I asked him why! Why would a guy I like be with me? He said, in fact, I have always liked you more manly! I feel really embarrassed. People cut their hair short when they were in love, but I started to grow my hair long~

1. Guo Degang: "Sun Wukong is very stupid and naive. He is just a monkey and can never be a human. He guards the Peach Garden. , 7 fairies came to pick peaches, he shouted, these 7 fairies were all here, and he turned around to pick peaches!"

Yu Qian: "If it were you! "

Guo Degang: "I have to get a basket."

2. "Mom, are there ghosts in the world?"

"Silly boy, Of course not."

"But there is a fire floating in the street."

"It's caused by the spontaneous combustion of phosphine."

"But there is another set of clothes floating around with the fire in the back."

"Let me take a look, oh, that's Mr. Bao carrying a lantern and patrolling the night."

3. Shaka walked up to Seiya, Purple Dragon, Hyoga and Shun who were lying on the ground, "It turns out that the Bronze Saints are so vulnerable."

He opened his eyes and found These four seriously injured Saints were looking expectantly at the door.

"Poor warrior, tell me, who are you waiting for?"

Xingya's eyes shined with golden light, and he smiled and replied: Wait for a thousand years for Ikki, wait for a while Hui~

4. On the battlefield, a wounded soldier who was undergoing surgery suddenly woke up, looked at the doctor, and asked puzzledly: "Why did you use the knife and scissors on my leg?"

Doctor: "Look for bullets."

Wounded soldier: "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I have a lot in my pocket!"

5. The latest radio traffic broadcast Message: "Drivers heading towards the airport, please pay attention. There is a Rolls-Royce worth 13 million yuan driving. Please pay attention to avoid it!"

1. On a dark and windy night, a woman was alone. While walking on the road, suddenly, a strange man stood in front of her with a dagger.

The woman was trembling with fear, but she heard the man speak politely: "Sister, can you give me some money? Have mercy on me, a poor man who has no job and is hungry! You Look, my only property now is this dagger!”

2. There was an old woman who had an eye disease and asked a doctor to treat her. Give reward.

From then on, the doctor came to give her medicine every day and stole something when she closed her eyes after applying the medicine.

A month later, the doctor said that the disease was cured and asked for payment from the old woman.

The old woman refused and said: "Not only has my eyes not been cured, but it has become worse. I used to see all the things in the house, but now I can't see many of them."

3. A lady came into the train compartment with four children. The children were playing, fussing, pushing and screaming.

A passenger said unhappily: "When you travel, at least half of your children have to be left at home."

The wife sighed: "That's what I do. Yes."

4. Someone asked his friend: "Why do you laugh when you smoke? Is the smoke very fragrant?"

My friend replied: "No, I just laughed. I read in a book that smoking a cigarette will shorten your life by 5 seconds, and smiling will increase your longevity by 10 seconds... In this way, you can live forever!"

5. Actor: "Director, the play is over. I just appeared on the stage, carrying a suitcase in my hand and walking silently across the stage. I must have played too few roles.

"

The director listened and said sincerely: "What you said makes sense. When you go on stage tomorrow, just carry two suitcases. "

1. The music of Swan Lake was playing in the car, and I explained it to my 6-year-old daughter on a whim. My daughter had never heard of this story, so I simplified the sermon: "A swan turns into a beautiful woman and marries Gave it to the prince..." The daughter said worriedly: "The prince asked her to have a baby, what if she lays an egg? ”

2. The father taught his son how to count and asked: “Son, what’s the number after one?” ". Son: "Two". Dad: "What about after two? Son: "Three". Dad: "What about after three?" Son: "Eggplant - seeds." "

3. The mouse, which was driven into a dead end by the cat, suddenly came to its senses. Facing the cat, it suddenly staggered and said: "Ouch! I'm so sleepy! The cat was very surprised by the mouse's behavior and asked, "What's wrong?" The mouse begged: "I must have eaten rat poison. I feel so uncomfortable. Eat me quickly!" ”

4. In life, some people come and go, some people go and come back, some people are close at hand, some people are far away, some people pass by, and some people go with us all the way. . Maybe we meet at the end of a certain road, walk together for a while, and then say goodbye at the next fork. In any case, it is inevitable that we will end up together. My friend who is far away: maybe it is too far away, but thank you for your time. Let's go together. Good night, everyone!

5. There was a man who was highly myopic and could hardly see anything half a foot away. One night, he picked up a firecracker and went close to the light to identify it. There was a sound when it touched the fire. There was a deaf man next to him. Seeing this, he patted him on the back and asked, "What did you pick up just now?" Why did it fly apart as soon as I got it? "

6. After class, I came home and wanted to give my girlfriend a surprise. I found my senior and my girlfriend lying on the bed. Before I could react, they both gestured at me very calmly." Yeah." Then say "Happy April Fools' Day! Then he quickly put on his clothes and said before leaving, "Look how scared you are!" "Relax"... TMD that day is August 6th...

7. I took my son to the vegetable market, and he wanted to buy a cucumber, so he picked one by himself. I looked at the handles of the cucumbers. When my son was too big, he said, “This butt is too big, it’s not good! The son raised his head and asked the vegetable seller: "Uncle, which cucumber has no butt?" ". The uncle smiled and replied: "Cucumbers have butts! ”

8. When Xiao Ming was one year old, he called grandpa for the first time, and grandpa died. Not long after, he called mom for the first time, and mom died. Later, he called dad, and next door Carpenter Wang is dead. A doctor pointed out that there is a loophole in this joke. It should be the carpenter next door’s father who died.

9. I joined a new company and my job is as an assistant. Since I am a new employee, I am more diligent. I am the first one to clean the company every day and water the pot of flowers on the table that is not very lush. I think: wait for it to change. , will definitely be praised by everyone, but it still hasn’t changed after a month... Then one day someone said to me: I don’t know who is so boring, watering fake flowers...

10. Someone right The eyeball was fake. One day, he went to the hospital to check his vision. After testing his left eye, the doctor said: "One o'clock. Asked him to try his right eye, he said: "No need to try it, it's just a little worse than the left eye." "The doctor forced him to test the right eye, and the result was zero vision. The doctor said angrily: "The vision in the right eye is obviously zero, how can you say it is only slightly worse than the left eye? He said: "One point minus one point is zero, isn't it?" ”

11. I am a female, single, and I went to a fortune teller. The fortune teller claimed to be able to tell the past and present lives. I asked him to tell me why I am not married yet. ------- Gege is getting married- ------ The fortune teller said: In your last life, you were a man and broke the marriage of a snake. Everything has a cause and effect. In this life, she came to break your marriage, so you are still single now. I asked excitedly. He said: What do you mean, I was Fahai in my previous life?

He ignored me

1. Zhan Zhao excitedly said to the people who had wronged him: "Don't worry, Mr. Bao is a good official who can't be found even with a lantern!"

Bao After Zheng heard this, he said angrily: "Zhanwei, am I that dark?"

2. Panda said: "My dream is to take a color photo in my lifetime."

Bao Zheng sighed: "You are so greedy. I only hope to take a black and white photo."

3. Bao Zheng and Zhan Zhaochu met. Bao Zheng handed over his hand: "I am Bao Zheng, the governor of Kaifeng."

Zhan Zhao returned the gift: "I am Xia Zhan Zhao of Nanxia."

Bao Zheng: "I will divide the male and female." Not sure?"

4. Zhan Zhao: "Mr. Gongsun, Bai Yutang and I have decided to go to the United States to hunt down the murderer."

Gongsun Ce: "Very good, considering the cultural differences. , you two should each choose a pseudonym with local characteristics to facilitate movement."

Zhan Zhao: "Thank you, Mr. Lao."

Gongsun Ce carefully observed Zhan Zhao and him. Bai Yutang slapped his thigh: "Let's call them Tom and Jerry."

1 "Oh, shit!!" Who is most likely to say this? A: Lao Li who stepped on poop when going out; B: Muto who was dripping with sweat; C: Xiao Ming who got zero points in the exam; D: The sperm who ran to the finish line first; Correct answer: D; Anyone who knows the reason will forward it, no Read the comments if you know. . . (@ Laughing too much will make you pregnant)

2 Dad works in a glass factory and has to wear gloves when working. One day after the night shift, he took a taxi home. When the car passed through a small forest in the suburbs, a cool breeze came. Dad felt a little cold, so he took out his gloves and put them on. The driver saw it in the rearview mirror and asked in horror: "Brother, what are you doing?" "Oh, I'm used to it. I wear gloves every time I work so that I won't cut myself and leave no traces. Traces. "The driver's face turned green at the time...

3 One night, a man was wandering in the wild, and a UFO suddenly fell from the sky. An alien came down from the UFO. The alien suddenly knelt down while looking at him. The idler was horrified and said: "I love you!" The alien raised his head and said: Ping your mother! Forgot to calculate the gravity of the earth.

4 It is said that if you say "Actually..." to a person, then pause for a long time, and then say to her "Forget it, it's nothing"... the person will struggle with it all night. ~

5 During the relay race at the junior high school sports meeting, the teacher repeatedly asked the athletes to hand over the baton steadily, steadily, and then steadily again. So, during the competition, they really... kissed .

6 The State Administration for Industry and Commerce investigated and dealt with an Olympic infringement case in accordance with the law: an underwear manufacturer in Zhejiang was the first to register two trademarks: men's underwear called "Bird's Nest" and women's underwear called "Water Cube". The organizing committee was annoyed that its advertising slogan was: "Same place, same dream"!

7 Getting married is called joining the network, bigamy is called one card with two numbers, extramarital affair is called call transfer, having more lovers is called Monternet, divorce is called canceling the number, separation is called stopping the phone and protecting the number, remarriage is called resuming the phone, women Remarriage is called transfer of ownership, and remarriage of a man is called card replacement. ——New Interpretation of Marriage

8 Monday: I, bed, her; Tuesday: She, bed, him; Wednesday: I, bed; Thursday: I, bed; Friday: I, bed, her, Him; Saturday: I, bed, she, him, fly; Sunday: I, policeman. ——There is always only one truth! Do you understand?

1. Question: Have you ever worn leather shoes?

Answer: No

Question: Have you ever eaten leather shoes?

Answer: Eat often

2. I was riding home with my friends today. When I was almost home, I saw a coal truck overturning into a ditch, and the coal fell all over the floor. , because the place is small and the big car can’t get in, so we use small cars one by one to back up the big cars.

My friend smiled and said to me: "This is bad luck."

3. Three strangers took shelter from the rain under the same roof.

A: "It's really annoying. I wish I had a cigarette."

B: "I have a cigarette."

C: "I have a fire ."

A: "I... am addicted.

"

4. One day, the stone bullied the egg again.

The egg couldn't bear it anymore and said, "Although I can't touch you, I will turn into a rotten egg and stink you." "

5. One day, a funeral car drove out of the funeral parlor. A child ran out and chased the funeral car, crying and shouting "Dad! dad! Don't go..."

The people around felt sympathy for the child and were about to comfort him. Suddenly the funeral car stopped. The driver got out of the car and said to the child: "What's the noise about? Ah, daddy will take you to play after get off work! "

6 and 5 loved 1 deeply, but when it expressed its love, it was rejected by 1.

5 yelled: "Why is this? "

1 whispered: "My mother said that with such a big beer belly, you must be unhealthy. ”

7. A fish asked the guy next to him: “What kind of fish are you?” What's it called? Why does it look so strange? "

The guy next to me said: "First, I am not a fish, I am a human; second, my name is Qu Yuan and I am about to fucking drown; third, I told you seven seconds ago. Just for once, stop fucking bothering me! ”

8. A big man in black came to the hotel and shouted to the waiter: “Waiter, bring all the good wine and food to me, otherwise I will kill you!” ”

“Yes, sir. "

As a result, the waiter died~~~~ Because the waiter misunderstood "wine and vegetables" as "leeks".

1. The old squad leader gave up the last piece of leather shoes. A weak little soldier pretended to be very full. Seeing the little soldier chewing on leather shoes, the old squad leader thought that when he was liberated, he must let the people of the country eat leather shoes.

2. Housing prices in Beijing: If your annual salary is more than 3 million, you can buy wherever you like within the second ring road;

If your annual salary is between 100-300W, you can buy wherever you like within the second to fourth ring roads. Where, if your annual salary is between 50-100W, you can buy wherever you like within the 4th to 6th Ring Road;

If your annual salary is below 10W, dig yourself a hole and bury yourself wherever you like. Where to bury it?

3. I heard that collecting makes money, and I heard that mahogany appreciates quickly. I took out all my deposits, went to a mahogany store, and put the cash on their table.

The shopping guide counted the items and said, "Sorry, sir, we don't have mahogany toothpick products. "

4. Women in the Kingdom of Women will become pregnant after drinking river water. What does this mean? It means that there is a group of hanging silks living upstream by the river...

5. Someone suggested The phenomenon of Chinese football should be included in the "Unsolved Mysteries of the World" because the fact that a country with a population of more than one billion cannot find 11 people who can play football is really puzzling...

6. A classmate asked me: How to translate "the king is always lucky", I said without thinking: "The king is always lucky" He shook his head and said three words: "Wang Laoji"

7. Harem Drama The main plot of "The Emperor" is about who the Emperor has followed, who he has unfollowed, who he has blocked, who he has commented on, who he has retweeted, and who he has privately chatted with. Being an emperor is really tiring, with a bunch of women struggling to be "special" with you. "Follow", but there are only a few people you are interested in, and they always @ you when you call them, which is annoying. . .

8. When I was shopping on Taobao, I fell in love with a store and haggled with the shopkeeper on the price. After some discussion, the boss only gave me a small change, so! I wanted to say to the shopkeeper, "Boss, please make it cheaper," but my fingers failed me, so I mistakenly typed it as "Dad, please make it cheaper," and I haven't discovered the mistake yet. After a minute of silence, the other party replied, "Okay, dear, for your own sake, I'll give you free shipping..." Only then did I realize that it was too late. Sweating violently... There is no such thing as a free lunch.

1. A young woman passed by a residential area just after dark. A muscular man walked across the street and suddenly started coughing.

Four or five more men came over and coughed in unison.

The little woman suddenly became a little nervous. Are they exchanging secret codes? You're not going to rob, are you? Isn't it a robbery?

The little woman was a little scared and did not dare to run until she reached the place where they started coughing. She also had a cough.

Oh my god, whose cooking is so spicy with chili?

2. Lao Li went to the park to walk his dog, but unexpectedly fainted in a secluded place and fell unconscious.

Fortunately, his dog called the doctor in time, and Lao Li was saved.

Afterwards, many people praised Lao Li for how smart his dog was.

Old Li said angrily: "How smart is that? In fact, what he called was a veterinarian that day."

3. A young man was begging on the street.

A woman said to him: "You are so young, you should go to a factory."

The beggar said: "Madam, I have been to many factories, but they have nothing." Give it to me."

4. There are two completely opposite views on long-term drinking of pure water: one is beneficial, the other is harmful.

Lao Wang’s family was in a dilemma, not knowing how to drink water.

Later, a family meeting was held and we debated for a long time, and finally decided that from now on the whole family would drink purified water on odd days and ordinary boiled water on even days.

5. There was a roommate in the dormitory who was always forgetful. He had to use his student card to get hot water in the dormitory. This guy always forgot to bring his card. Later he realized this and always looked at it first every time he fetched water. Do you have a card? That day he went to fetch water again. He first touched his pocket to make sure he had the cartridge, and then went to fetch water. After a few minutes, this guy ran back and sighed, "Damn, I didn't bring a pot."

1 Wukong and Tang Seng appeared on a certain satellite TV "If You Are the One" together, Wukong came on stage, 24 lights Total destruction. Reasons: 1. No house, no car, only a broken stick. 2. The occupation of a bodyguard is dangerous. 3. He beats goblins at every turn and is not gentle to girls. 4. He has been in prison and was forced to live under the Five Fingers Mountain for 500 years. Tang Monk came on stage, wow! The lights were all on. Reasons: 1. Civil servant; 2. The emperor's brother, the toughest in the background; 3. Proficient in Sanskrit and other foreign languages; 4. Handsome; 5. The most important point: I have a BMW!

2 There is a man called Zhen Kesuo. He married a wife and asked you to take care of him, and gave birth to a son who called him trouble. One day the trouble disappeared! The couple went to report the crime. The policeman asked the father: What is this man’s name? Dad said: It’s really awkward. The policeman was very angry, and then he asked the mother what her name was. Mom said: I want you to take care of it. The policeman was very angry and said: What are you going to do? The couple said: Looking for trouble.

Reporter 3: Seriously, do you really change diapers for your children? Yao Ming: Why don't you lie down and I'll change it for you! To tell you the truth, I can change the baby's diaper, feed the baby, etc. with just one foot. Reporter: I don’t believe it! Yao Ming: Really, you don’t even have to turn on the lights. Reporter: Impossible! How do you want to change it? Yao Ming: Just use one foot to wake your wife up.

4 Chinese can increase your literary knowledge after all! English allows you to communicate with ghost guys! History can help you not to betray! Geography can keep you from getting lost! Politics can help you know how to protect your rights! But what else can mathematics do besides ruin the whole life? Mud horse! ! You use functions to buy groceries! When you go to the Yellow Crane Tower, you have to calculate how far away the boats in the Yangtze River are from you! When you see a row of phone numbers, think about whether there is a common formula between them!

5 A little boy walked into the toy store with a piece of fake money, ready to buy a toy airplane. The waiter aunt said: "Kid, your money is not real." The little boy asked back: "Auntie, is your plane real?"

1. The teacher organized the students to watch the football game.

After the game, organize a discussion with the theme: How to carry forward the spirit of football in learning.

"If we talk about combined learning,"

Xiao Ming said: "The reason why our test scores are low is because we don't pass the ball well. Some people don't realize it, and others pass the ball. Give it to him, and he will not pass it on after he has finished copying it.

”

2. I asked my mother-in-law: “If this medicine expires, let it expire. Why do you still take it when you are not sick?” "

My mother-in-law said seriously: "You young people just don't know how to live. It doesn't hurt to eat but it hurts to throw away!" ”

3. Two pigeon enthusiasts met and talked happily: “I am breeding a new breed and crossing pigeons with parrots.” ”

“Why cross? ”

“If a pigeon gets lost, it can ask for directions on its own. "

4. Two people in the park are talking about how to win in mahjong.

A: Sun Tzu said, "Know yourself and the enemy, and you will win every battle." ”

B: Your grandson is only one month old, does he understand this?

5. My boyfriend’s family finally agreed to our marriage, but yesterday he told me that he wanted to break up because of his inconsistent personality. , we are more than three months pregnant, can our personalities change in an instant? Your sister, it’s my birthday today, and the parents of both parties have arranged to discuss marriage today. I can’t sleep at all now, and my parents will be dragged into it at dawn. It's embarrassing. Baby, I promise, if I can't save you, I will stay with you.

A fat man fell from the twelfth floor, and he became a dead fat man. !

NO.2:

A candy, walking in the North Pole, felt that it was so cold, so it became rock candy.

NO.3:

The mother picked up her daughter from kindergarten and asked on the way home: "What English did the teacher teach today? The daughter said: "Big Sprite." The mother was puzzled and went to the kindergarten to ask the teacher the next day. The teacher said: "The capital 'B' was taught yesterday." ”

NO.4:

Two bananas went shopping in tandem. As I walked, the banana in front felt very hot, so I took off my clothes. Guess what happened? - The banana behind fell down

NO.5:

A black cat rescued a white cat from the river, and you know the white cat later. What did you say to the black cat? It said: "Meow——"

NO.6:

Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast, and the second tomato suddenly walked away very fast. The second tomato asked: Where are we going? The first tomato didn't answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato didn't answer, so the second tomato asked again. The tomato finally turned around slowly and said: Aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk?

NO.7:

Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun walking on the road, and it walked and walked. Suddenly he was hungry...so he ate himself...

NO.8:

A polar bear was bored, so he plucked his own hair. The roots, two, three... were all pulled out, and the polar bear suddenly said: "I'm so cold!" ”

NO.9:

There was a match. It was walking on the road, walking, walking, walking, walking...it suddenly felt itchy. , so it scratched and scratched, scratched and scratched, scratched and scratched, scratched and scratched...then...then it burned itself and finally died~~~

NO .10:

There is a guy who looks like an onion and starts crying while walking..

NO.11:

There is a hide-and-seek club , their leader has not been found yet...

NO.12:

When will Chen Shui-bian want to unify?

NO. .13:

Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite. Xiao Ming felt very wronged! , just ran outside and cried.

He flew up...

NO.14:

An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, but it turned into a tea egg; an egg ran to swim in the Songhua River, As a result, it turned into a preserved egg; one egg ran to Shandong and turned into a Lu (stewed) egg; one egg was homeless, but turned into a pheasant egg; one egg accidentally fell on the road One egg fell to the ground and turned into a missile; one egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; one egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; one egg got sick , turned out to be a bad guy; an egg got married and turned into a bastard; an egg ran into a river to swim, turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg ran into flowers, turned into a bastard ; There is an egg riding a horse and holding a knife, and it turns out that he is a swordsman; there is an egg that is female, but it is ugly, and it turns out to be a dinosaur egg; there is an egg...

NO.15

Today I went to renew my driver’s license. When I passed by an intersection and stopped at a red light, a mother was carrying a child on her back and carrying an older child in front. She was stopped by the traffic police... The traffic police said "Miss, it doesn't matter if your child doesn't wear a helmet. Why don't you wear one yourself? This doesn't make sense!" The mother said, "You can't buy it for a child so young!!" The traffic policeman said, "But You have to take care of it yourself!!" The mother said: "Why should I take care of it? If anything happens to my child, I don't want to live anymore!!"