There are so many, take a closer look. 1. A buck, he walked, faster and faster, and finally it turned into a highway (deer)!!!! 2. Two tomatoes crossed the road, and a car passed by, one of them Unable to dodge and was crushed, another tomato pointed at the squashed tomato and laughed: Dig hahaha, ketchup... 3. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess what happened? In the end, the big bad wolf ate the lamb. 4. A stone and a rice cake fought, and the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea... Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private commitment for life, but the boy needed to serve in the military, so he and The girl made a vow, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years from now. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Finally, three years later, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but She couldn't wait until she was too sad. In despair, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and left. However, the boy had actually been waiting for the girl. However, the girl misunderstood the date, so it became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing. Guess what he caught? Rice cakes!!! 5. Is the dumpling a boy or a girl? The answer is boy because the dumpling has a foreskin. 6. There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he When he was hit by a car, he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a cucumber!! 7. Matchstick suddenly felt his head was itchy, so he stretched out his hand to scratch it, and he burned himself to death... 8. Once upon a time there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately one day there was a fire in that cornfield. All the corn turned into popcorn. After the bird flew over... He thought it was snowing, but he died of cold... 9. When will Taiwan want to be reunified? When buying instant noodles 10. Asong and Abo chatted and told each other that time is not forgiving. A Song: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing I have ever celebrated is Children's Day." A Bai: "In ten years it will be Youth Day." A Song: "In ten years it will be Father's Day." A Bai: "In another ten years it will be Father's Day." It will be the Old Man's Day in a few decades." Asong: "In another few decades." Abai: "Qingming Festival." 11. Soldiers: "Thirsty... thirsty..." Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer. ! I have been to this place before, and I remember that there is a plum forest nearby. You may be there if you walk for a while." The soldiers: "Oh ￣￣￣￣There are plums to eat￣￣￣Oh￣￣￣" Half an hour later - Cao Ren : "Lord! The expedition team found a lot of water sources!" Cao Cao: "Hahahaha, did you hear that? Finally there is water to drink." Soldiers: "If you don't go... you must find plums..." 12. A girl is heartbroken. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, but there are plenty of three-legged men!" 13. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" His father said: "Silly boy. , how can you be a stupid kid?” 14. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met on the street, why didn’t they say hello? (Assuming they can talk) Because………… .. Because………because they are not familiar with each other~~~~~~~~ 15. Question: How to make sparrows quiet? Answer: Press it. Reason: total silence (overwhelming silence). 16. Unfortunately, a college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and then asked him: "Tell me, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you!!!" The college student replied to the enemy, He was electrocuted to death... He said: "I am from TV University!" 17. A: "I will take you to a place where all the girls are not wearing bras." B: "Really? Where is it? Take me quickly. Go!" A: "It's in the kindergarten next door!" 18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of Happy Dictionary, interviewed an audience member and asked: "Which female host do you admire most?" The audience said: "It's you? ah.

"Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why do you say that? The audience said: "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!" ” 19. Do you know what color Spider-Man is? Red, wrong! It’s white. If you don’t believe it, read Spider-Man in English: Spider Man (a white person) 20. Why did Xiao Ming fall? Please think again... ………………….. Because the floor is slippery 21. After a group of animals had a party, they rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something. Because they were too noisy, the store clerk beat them out, leaving the lamb alone. Inside the store, why? The convenience store is open 24 hours a day... 22. The glass and the coffee cup were crossing the road together, and suddenly someone shouted: The car is coming! The glass was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was fine. Why? The coffee cup has ears! 23. A horse said that our company is launching a new product, Flattery No. 3, referred to as MP3... 24. There are two types of people I hate the most: one is racist; the other is black people. ; Three is illiterate! 25. I would like to thank Madoka Ozawa, Ran Asagawa, Ai Nagase, Ryoko Mitake, Maria Takaki, Mai Kawamoto, Hitomi Yuki, Miyu Natsuki, Naomi Seriki, Shiraishi, and Kudo. Aoi, Koyamauchi Mayu, Kishikawa Miho, Nishida Yuki, Sawai Kiyoshi, Fujisaki Ayaka, Hayama Miyako, Inoue Chihiro, Matsumura, Yuki and Izumi Shizuka, etc. I know the names and I don't know the names, they have appeared in my computer now Foreign friends who have been deleted or are still on the computer: they accompany me through lonely nights one after another in the dead of night; when I am at my lowest, they comfort me at the right time; when I am playing When CS was exhausted, they made me feel the pleasure of smoothness; when I was in a sluggish state and had no feeling, they made me energetic~ 26. Now the accuracy of earthquake prediction has indeed improved a lot, this time only Two words missing: It was predicted to be in "Heilongjiang", but it turned out to be in "Jiujiang" 27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who admire me say - my idol is named Ying" He Jie said: "The fans who admire me say - My idol’s name is Jie.” Zhou Bichang said, “My fans who admire me all say that my idol’s name is Chang.” Li Yuchun said, “You guys chat, I’m leaving first! ” 28. Five Fuwa dolls gathered together to chat. Beibei suggested: Let’s give ourselves a nickname, I’ll call it “Beiwa”! Jingjing: Then I’ll call it “Jingwa”! Huanhuan: My name is "Huanba" is ready! Nini: My name is "Niva"! Yingying stood up and said: You guys have something to talk about, I have something to do and I'm leaving now... By the way, in 2058, the five Fuwa are together again. Chat. Beibei: Let’s talk about my nickname. People respect me and call me “Master Bei”! Huanhuan: People call me “Master Huan”! Nini: People call me “Master Ni”. ! Yingying: People call me "Ying Ye"! Jingjing stood up and said: You guys chat, I have something to do and I'm leaving first... 29. The harsh winter is here, so I decided to keep the habit of taking cold showers. While washing, I found that I had returned to my childhood appearance! 30. Celery suddenly felt a pain in his stomach while walking, and then he made a "porcupine" sound, what did you say? It’s celery excrement (diligence)!!! What color is celery (vegetable) excrement? Answer: yellow because: Qin Shihuang (celery excrement yellow) 31. There was a fat man…. He jumped from the top of the 20th floor… and the result became He became...a damn fat man!! 32. Once upon a time, there was a piece of bread. It felt hungry, so it ate itself. Once upon a time, there was a glass of beer, and it felt thirsty, so it drank itself.. Once upon a time, there was a virgin, she When I felt tired, I fell asleep... 33. Who is the ancestor of human beings? Because peanut kernels~~~ 34. Which person in ancient times is considered a white-collar worker? Stop leaving, old thief! " Yan Yan: " Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and die! "Police car: "Listen, two thieves~~~You have been surrounded~~~Put down your weapons..." 36. How did the ants die after falling from the Himalayas? Answer: Starved to death.

Because it is too light, it takes a long time to float down... 37. The world's most KB diary. Old Xiong was about to write a diary, but found that the diary had been used up. He wanted to go out and buy another one to write in, but it was already twelve o'clock in the evening. . But he still rode his bicycle and searched on the dark street. After searching for a long time, he finally found a bookstore and went in before it closed. There was a diary he liked very much, so he asked his boss how much it cost. The boss said in a deep voice: "This is imported, priced at 70 yuan..." Old Xiong said: "It's so expensive, but I only brought 50 yuan." The boss said: "It doesn't matter, I'll give you 50 yuan." "The old bear said happily: "Thank you, boss." The boss said in a low and sinister voice: "When you buy it back, don't turn to the last page, otherwise something terrible will happen. Don't blame me for not reminding you!" Old Bear said, "Yeah, I understand." Old Bear bought the diary and unpacked it, placing it on the table in front of the window. At this time, he wanted to take a bath first and then come out to write in the diary... After taking a bath, Lao Xiong found that the window in front of the desk had been opened, and the wind blew open the diary page by page... almost to the last page. At this time, Lao Xiong stepped forward to stop him, but it was too late. The last page was blown open by the wind. What happened to KB... I saw Lao Xiong screaming because he saw the last page saying: (Please Pull down) . . . . . . Pull again . . . . . Keep pulling . . . . . . It’s almost done. Pull a little more . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The last page said——- Pricing: 3 yuan 38. A peach was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "My heart is so hard!" A walnut was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "My face is so thick!" A Coke can was walking on the road. I felt very bored while walking, and suddenly I said, I feel so coke! A heater was walking on the road and helped passers-by. As I was walking, I suddenly said, "I am so enthusiastic!" A key was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "I am Qu Yuan!" I will go up and down and ask for a lock! An electric meter was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly said, "I am a scholar!" People are searching for him thousands of times! A tadpole was walking on the road. As he walked, he met another tadpole. As he walked, he suddenly said, "We are not QQ!" A Hawthorn got married and was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My face is so red!" A divorced hawthorn was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My heart is so sad!" A Hawthorn got remarried and was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "I have a baby in my belly!" A tea bag was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly said, I really want to be soaked! I was walking on the road with a stuffed dumpling. As I walked, I suddenly said, I really want to be dumpled! A lighter was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "My stomach is full of anger and I want to get angry!" A cockroach was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I am strong!" A thimble was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I'm thimble!" An ice cream cone was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I'm cold!" A spider was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I still want to crawl on the web!" A fish was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "I like to dive every day!" A Guan Yu was walking on the road. As he was walking, he suddenly said, "I am riding a thousand miles alone!" An eagle was walking on the road. As he walked, he met a bear. As he walked, he suddenly said, "We are playing the role of eagle and bear!" A compass was walking on the road. As I was walking, I suddenly asked, "Why can't I find north?" An earthworm was walking on the road. As he walked, he suddenly said, "Why can't I find my legs?" 39. Once upon a time, Simmons closed her eyes and meditated. Suddenly she felt like something was missing. As she was thinking about it, she heard the doorbell ring. When she opened the door, she saw that it was an electric blanket that had just come back from a date. Simmons hugged the electric blanket and said : Brother~~You are back, I am so cold~~~ 40. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in the mine. The boss is an American, and he said to the German: "You have a good physique, and you are responsible for the coolies.

" To the French, he said: "You said you are an engineer, and you are responsible for the mining plan." And to the Japanese, he said: "You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies." Then the next week, they started working. A few days later, the Germans and French discovered that the Japanese were missing. After looking for them for a long time, they decided to go back to work. When the Germans started working, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted: "Surprise!" 41. There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together. The penguin plucked out its hair one by one. After that, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!" After hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out the hairs on his body one by one, turned to the penguin and said: "It's really cold!" 42. There is a peek-a-boo Cat Club, their leader has not been found yet... 43. Xiaohong asked: When stirring coffee, do you use your right hand or your left hand? Xiaomei said: Right hand Xiaohong said: Oh, you are so awesome, you are not afraid of being burned. Like I use a spoon. 44. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica? Because it was cold there... 45. There was no business at a snack bar selling dumplings, so she went to ask her master what to do. The master said: You have to find a fresh corpse and wrap its meat into dumplings, and then If they sell it, the business will be very good, but they ask their family members not to eat this kind of dumplings, otherwise something terrible will happen. The boss tried it and the effect was really good, so she went to look for the corpse again. The next day her son wanted to bring a lunch box, but he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it. He found a lunch box and took it away thinking it was his. Unexpectedly, the box contained leftover dumplings sold by his father. He opened it at noon and was surprised. In the morning, there were 10 dumplings, but why did they immediately become 5? He tried closing the lid again and opening it again, and there were 2 dumplings again! Do you know why? . . . . . . . . because the dumplings stuck to the lid. 46. ??A lumberjack applied for a job. Foreman: Go try the forest in front... see how many trees you can saw in one minute... After a minute... Foreman: Wow... 20 trees in one minute... that's amazing. ….. Where did you work before? Worker: Sahara Forest… Foreman: Never heard of it… I’ve only heard of Sahara Desert… Worker: Yes… I changed my name later! 47. Wife: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit. Husband: I am really blind and will only marry you if I step on shit. Shit: I’m so unlucky! As I lay there, I was stepped on by both of you... 48. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private commitment for life, but the boy had to perform military service, so he made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to Three years later, when I meet that girl, that ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the boy heard the news of the woman's marriage on the boat returning home. He was so sad that he threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair. Three days later, the boat docked. The boy went to a small restaurant on the street to eat. He was served a fish. He picked up the fish and took a bite. He bit something hard and spit it out. Guess what fish bones he saw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 49. One day , the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits. He announced: "Children, after picking the fruits, we will wash them together. After washing, we can eat them together." All the children ran to pick the fruits. When the gathering time came, all the children gathered. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?" Xiaohua: "I am washing apples, because I picked apples." Teacher: "Xiaomei, where are you?" Xiaomei: "I am washing tomatoes, because I picked apples. Tomatoes." Teacher: "Children are great! What about you, A Ming?" A Ming: "I am washing my shoes because I stepped on poop." 50. Why is the puppy getting smaller and smaller? Answer: Because it goes farther and farther.