No one likes to associate with people with low emotional intelligence. The reason is simple. Their words and deeds often make people feel uncomfortable.
On the other hand, it can also be said that if a person often makes others feel uncomfortable when talking or doing things, then he is likely to belong to a person with low emotional intelligence.
So, what are the specific characteristics and performances? To sum up, there are three main points. These three behavioral habits can be said to be the number one killer of interpersonal relationships, which deserves our reflection and warning.
0 1? Judge others and tell them what to do.
A parent who was expelled from the headmaster last year left a deep impression on me.
Introduced by an old student's parents, this parent came to our school. Her child has just arrived for less than a week, and this parent has some opinions about the management of our school.
For example, how to give children cherry tomatoes? What unhealthy food does the internet say? How can children write in such a mess that there is no positive guidance? Why is such an obvious mistake in this sentence not noticed?
In short, in the words of this parent, our management is too loose and we don't pay attention to details, so obvious mistakes are not detected.
I feel very uncomfortable to hear her say this, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Anyway, we prepare snacks for our children and create a relaxed learning atmosphere for them. You don't appreciate it, but you are critical and judgmental.
If our management style is not suitable for your children, you can transfer quietly. What is even more speechless is that she spread rumors among parents to prove her just words.
Frankly speaking, there are quite a few such people in real life. They are used to judging others and never consider each other's feelings. As a result, it ended in discord, often without knowing it.
The first sign of low EQ is that you like to judge others and tell them what to do.
I like a sentence from The Great Gatsby very much:
Whenever you want to comment on others, you should remember that not everyone in the world has the same advantages as you.
Everyone has different experiences and different conditions, so it is not only uncultivated, but also a very low emotional intelligence to easily evaluate others and dictate their lives.
Many times, the so-called high emotional intelligence is nothing more than being able to understand others and stand in each other's perspective.
Degrade others and elevate yourself.
I like to tell others what to do, and there is a kind of psychology that is to raise myself by belittling others and make myself smarter and stronger.
In real life, many people also have this kind of psychology. They show off their sense of superiority everywhere when they speak and do things, even at the expense of belittling and suppressing others.
And this is the second manifestation of low emotional intelligence. The reason why this kind of behavior is low in emotional intelligence is that it is very easy to offend people, and the other is that it often fails to get the desired results.
What does the second half of the sentence mean?
In other words, a person likes to show off himself everywhere, hoping to raise himself by belittling others, and the final result is usually counterproductive. Not only will it not be respected and recognized by others, but its image will also be damaged, plummeting and falling to the bottom.
I met a man with this mentality last year. I was very scared and nervous when I first started learning to drive. Due to external influences, I failed the first exam.
When I failed in the exam, I naturally felt bad. I told the other party the news, hoping to get his encouragement and support, but he did the opposite and said smugly, "Why are you so lame?" You know, all my exams are in one go. " After listening to his words, I don't even want to talk to him because I want to be comforted.
Many times, when we say that someone has a high emotional intelligence, there is a very important criterion, that is, this person knows how to take care of others' faces and emotions, which is obviously very powerful, but also humble and polite.
People with high emotional intelligence actually know a lot about human nature, and they know how important it is not to embarrass others.
Speak quickly, don't give up halfway.
Why do some people have bad interpersonal relationships and are labeled as having low emotional intelligence?
In addition to the above two reasons, there is a more important reason, that is, they like to speak fast and always speak better than others, so that they will not make a difference.
And this is the third manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
"Summer insects can't talk about ice" means not to argue with people at different levels, because arguing with people at different cognitive levels is often fruitless.
In other words, many times, we should learn to recognize cowardice, and don't fight for right and wrong in everything, hitting others in words.
Because in some cases, even if you win, you are often a loser. On the contrary, if you are timid, you are a real winner.
For example, between husband and wife, the more you know how to recognize cowardice, the less you talk quickly, the less you often quarrel, and the better your feelings.
And vice versa!
We can look at the families around us who often quarrel and have a chicken feather. There is always one side that is very strong and belligerent. If you don't argue three points, it's unreasonable.
Many relationships break up like this.
The real genius of people with high emotional intelligence is that they know how to weigh the pros and cons, are more rational, and will not be led by emotions.
And this trait also allows them to grasp the discretion and scale when talking and doing things, and improvise.
The three manifestations of low emotional intelligence mentioned today are very common in life. I hope everyone will change it if they have it, and encourage them if they don't. Live a good life and don't let their Excellence be ruined by a broken mouth.