When a child enters kindergarten or enters a small society, he will have to face a lot, and he will not be pampered like at home. Many things may not satisfy the child, and the child may become addicted to it. Take some "hurt".

But the child is now in fifth grade, and making such a request is no longer simple. Therefore, when we provide material conditions for the child, we must consider the following questions: Does the child really want it? ? Why did the child need to buy a new one when he had just bought it? Does your child have a desire to compare? Want something better to highlight your family conditions?

If you find that your children have a desire to compare, parents should know that this may not be good for them. Children should focus on learning when they are young. If they consider the material conditions provided by their parents, , may also affect children's learning.

Whether it is a boy or a girl, during the growth stage of their children, parents must observe their abnormal behaviors and avoid their children's "comparison mentality".

After all, children who suddenly show enthusiasm for something may do it for the sake of face, or even to show off that they are better than others! Therefore, parents should be vigilant.

02 Children have a "comparison mentality", parents should not ignore it, it will have many negative effects on their children

It is not a good thing for children to have a comparison mentality, because this kind of emotion is expressed by children Paying too much attention to the external appearance, neglecting the inner cultivation, and at the same time neglecting his own work and study in school.

Allowing children to limit their vision to competition with other children will have a great impact on the child. If parents do not realize the harm of comparison to their children, it may affect their children. The child’s future growth.

1) Affects children’s academic performance

As we said above, what is the child’s job? It must be learning. Studying hard and making progress every day is the purpose for them to enter school. This will also allow children to gain more knowledge in school. However, once children focus all their vision on competing with others, or other external on things.

For example: The skirt I wore today is so beautiful, I don’t even own one! The color of the shoes you are wearing today is really great, I want a pair too! It seems very superficial at first glance, and focusing on these external things for a long time will make children ignore their inner cultivation, and it will also affect the progress of their academic performance.

2) Impact on interpersonal interactions with others

If there is comparison, there will be quarrels. If a child has a desire to compare, they will also be jealous of those around them who are better than them.

It’s just that under normal circumstances, this situation should occur when they realize their own shortcomings and constantly change, but our children will blame others and be jealous of others, which will only hinder their own progress. pace.

In addition, some children are likely to express their jealousy and comparison on their faces, which will also affect their communication with others.

After all, no one is willing to communicate and become true friends with those who have thoughts, ideas, and jealousy.

3) Let the child's pattern become smaller and smaller

How big a person's pattern is, what kind of path he will take in the future, this is what we as parents all want to know. Clearly, for children, some of the concepts, personalities, and accomplishments they formed when they were young may last a lifetime.

If parents don’t correct them, it will only make them more and more obsessed with comparison. As the saying goes, “you see your age at the age of three”. In fact, we cannot completely deny this statement.

When children are three years old, their consciousness formation is more obvious, and at this time, their thinking about the outside world will affect their future handling methods. If your children show a small pattern when they are young, , then their situation won’t be much bigger when they grow up, do you think so?

Children have a desire to compare. If they can be guided, it may become a driving force for their children's progress. However, the first thing most parents think of is to do everything they can to satisfy their children, without thinking about what they will do to their children later. impact.

It even allows children to develop the habit of getting things by just asking, but in fact such behavior is wrong.

Children really like it, and there is no harm in parents buying it for them. It will also allow them to stick to this hobby.

But if a child shows obsession with things just to satisfy his desire for comparison, parents must correct the child to prevent the child from getting stuck deeper and unable to extricate himself.

03 As a parent, how should we deal with our children’s desire to compare and let them correctly understand their own strengths and weaknesses?

To reduce the desire for comparison among our children, parents must not miss it in their daily education. In the process of getting along with our children, we should also be aware of our own characteristics and set a good example for our children.

① Observe the child’s abnormal behavior and provide guidance and correction

The child may suddenly become particularly obsessed with shoes, clothes and other things with famous brands during a certain period of time. Then parents should ask their children carefully, what is the reason why they have to buy these things?

If it is found that a child has a tendency to compare, parents should communicate with the child instead of directly satisfying the child or directly reprimanding the child.

People are mutual, especially as children get older and have their own independent thoughts. If parents reprimand their children at every turn, it will only make the children more rebellious and is not conducive to their growth.

Only through reasonable methods, children can understand that the comparison mentality must be used in the right place to make them progress and become better, instead of blindly comparing to satisfy their own psychological fantasies.

② Let children correctly understand the harm caused to them by the mentality of comparison

Children are relatively naive and simple when they are young. Even if they have this so-called mentality of comparison, it is only through Help from parents to satisfy inner self-esteem.

But for children, this kind of one-way thinking only allows them to see their own efforts based on the mentality of comparison, but never consider that the mentality of comparison will backfire and have a lot of negative effects on themselves.

As we mentioned above, the desire to compare will affect learning, make oneself smaller, and hinder the pace of progress. I believe that if children understand this situation, they will also realize that they are comparing themselves. My heart is not right.

③Reduce excessive pampering of children

When children get along with others with the attitude of "No matter what I want, my parents will give it to me", they will naturally see that Any good thing that others have, you will always feel jealous and compare with yourself.

Therefore, parents should reduce their excessive pampering of their children and let them understand that the contributions of parents are limited, so that children will not only know how to ask for things, nor will they want to get everything they see. , and will not be jealous of others casually, but know what they really want and make reasonable demands.

Many parents say that they are definitely not a person who compares with others, but when they get along with other parents, they will compare the differences between their children.

In addition, I will also lament how other people’s families are doing, and how is my own family doing? This seems to be a casual understanding, but it will cause certain harm to the children, affect their inner state, and make them compare with the people around them intentionally or unintentionally.

Therefore, parents must first set an example and not compare their children with other people's children. This will help reduce children's desire for comparison.

Therefore, in the process of raising children, parents must avoid excessively satisfying their children's material conditions and letting their children develop a sense of comparison.

In addition, if parents find that their children's comparison mentality is getting more serious, they must correct it in time to prevent their children from being misled by the so-called comparison mentality.