What is love?

It's such a shame that we ask this question.

In the course of nature, everyone will understand what love is. But as far as I know, no one or very few people know what love is. Love has become a rare experience. Yes, it is talked about, filmed, articles written about, and made into songs. It's been filmed a lot, you can see and hear it on TV, radio, magazines - a huge industry that is constantly feeding you the concept of love. Many people continue to relate to this issue and help people understand love. Poets, writers, novelists - they never stop.

Love is still an unknown thing - and it should be the most familiar thing. It was as if someone came to ask: "What is food?" It was as if he had been hungry since he was a child and had never tasted food. The root of the problem is the same, which is why you ask, "What is love?" Love is food for the soul. But you have been hungry, your soul has not received love at all, so you do not know the taste. Your question is pertinent, but it is regrettable: the body gets food, so the body is maintained; but the soul does not get food, so the soul dies, or it is not yet born, or it is dying.

When a child is born, he is whole; he is fully equipped to love and be loved. Every child is the child of love and knows love completely. There is no need to tell children what love is. But a problem arises: because dad and mom don't know what love is. No child ever gets what he deserves from his parents - No child ever gets what he deserves from his parents. Such parents have not yet been born on earth. When a child grows up, he loses the ability to love. It's almost like... there's a little valley in Mexico where children are blind within three months of their birth. It was a small primitive tribe. There was a fly there that poisoned the eyes, so the whole tribe was blind. Every child is born with eyes - fully functioning eyes - but within three months flies will bite, toxins will enter the body, and the eyes will go blind. Now, at some point in his life, somewhere, that child will ask: "What are eyes? What do you mean when you use the word 'eyes'? What is vision? What is seeing? What do you mean What?" These questions are all related. The child was born with eyes, but somewhere along the way called growth, he lost his sight.

That's what happens above love. Every child is born with as much love as he can contain, with more love than he can contain, with overflowing love. A child is a work of love; a child is made of the stuff called love. But parents cannot give love. They have their heritage - their parents never loved them. Parents can only pretend that they can talk about love. They can say, "We love you very much." But everything they do is not love. Their behavior, the way they treat their children is deeply insulting; it's not respectful. Parents do not respect their children. Who has ever thought about respecting a child? A child is not considered a person at all. A child is seen as a problem. If he stays quiet, he is good; if he does not cry, he is not an early clinician, good. If he stays within his parents' norms, great - that's how a child should be.

But there is no respect and no love. Parents don't know how to love. The mother does not love her husband, and the husband does not love his wife. There is no love there. Control, possessiveness, jealousy, and all kinds of poison destroy love. A little poison destroys sight, the poison of possessiveness and jealousy destroys love.

Love is a very delicate flower. It must be protected, cared for, and watered; only then can it be strong. And a child's love is also very delicate - naturally, because a child is delicate, his body is delicate. Do you think a baby can survive on its own? Think of how helpless people are. If a baby was left alone there, there was no way he would survive. He will die. And the same is true for love.

Love is left aside. Parents cannot love, they do not know what love is, they have never been overflowing with love. Remember: your parents...remember: I'm not saying they are responsible. They are victims just like you - and so are their parents. And so on...you can go back to Adam, Eve and God the Father.

It seems that even God’s father didn’t respect Adam and Eve very much, not enough. That's why in the beginning He commanded them: "Do this," and "Don't do that," and He also did the stupid thing that all parents do: "Do not eat from this tree." And when Adam ate from the tree As a result, the Father, God, reacted with such fury that he expelled Adam and Eve from heaven.

The eviction is always there, every parent threatens to evict the child, to drive him outside. "If you don't obey, if you misbehave, you will be kicked out." The child is naturally afraid. Rush outside? Into the wilderness of life? He began to compromise. Gradually the child learned to disguise, and he began to become diplomatic. He doesn't want to laugh, but if his mother comes over and he wants milk, he does.

Now, this is politics - the beginning of politics, ABC. Deep down he hates because he is not respected; deep down he feels lost because he is not loved. He is expected to do certain things, and only then is he loved. Love is conditional; he has little value for who he is. First, he must be worthy, then parental love is possible. So he starts pretending to be worthy; he loses his original worth. His respect for himself slowly faded away, and he began to feel guilty.

"Are they my real parents? Was I adopted by them? Maybe they lied to me because they don't love me." Such thoughts appeared in his mind more than once . And he saw anger in their eyes a thousand and one times, parents' faces contorted with rage, and he saw no reason to do so over the smallest of things. He saw his parents' rage at just the smallest thing. He couldn't believe it, how unfair and unfair it was! But he must surrender, he must bow, he must accept that as a necessity. Gradually, his ability to love is stifled.

Love can only grow on love. Love requires a loving environment - this is the most basic thing to remember. Love can only grow in an environment of love; it needs the same pulse around it. If the mother is love, if the father is love - not just for the child, but if they love each other, if there is love in the home, overflowing with love - that child will function as a loving being, and he will never ask that The question: "What is love?" He will understand from the beginning that love will be his foundation. But this didn't happen. This is so unfortunate, and until now, it has never happened. And you take after your parents...their pickiness, their conflicts. Just look at yourself, if you're a woman, look: you may be nagging, always nagging, that's your mother's habit. What do you do when you are with your boyfriend or husband? Aren't you repeating yourself? If you're a man, look: what are you doing? Aren't you repeating your father? Aren't you doing the same stupid thing he always does? You were shocked then - "How could Dad do this?" - and now you're doing the same thing. People continue to repeat. People are imitators, people are monkeys. You are repeating your dad and mom. That must be abandoned. Only then can you understand what love is; otherwise, you will remain rotten.

I cannot define love because love has no definition. It cannot be defined, like life, death, God, meditation, it is one of these undefinable families - I cannot define it.

I can't say: "This is love." I can't show it to you, it's not a visible phenomenon. It cannot be divided or analyzed; it can only be experienced. And only through experience can you learn what it is. But I can show you the way to experience it.

The first step is: get rid of your parents. I don't mean any disrespect to your parents, no. I will be the last person to say this. And I don’t mean getting rid of your parents in the physical sense, I mean getting rid of your parents’ voices internally, getting rid of your internal programming, your internal tapes. Erase them... If you get rid of your parents from within, you will be surprised how free you will be - otherwise it is impossible; you will still be resentful. Everyone resents his parents.

How can you not feel resentful when they hurt you so badly - albeit unconsciously? They wish you well and they want to do everything for your good existence.

But how do they do it? By just thinking, nothing will happen; by just good intentions, nothing will happen. They are well-wishers, that's true, no doubt about it. Every parent wants their children to live a happy life. But what can he do? He himself doesn't know how to be happy. He is a robot. Consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally, he creates an atmosphere that will turn the child into a robot sooner or later.

If you want to be a human being instead of a machine, get rid of your parents. You have to take care of it, which is a difficult and troublesome thing; it is impossible to do it right away. You have to take care of your behavior. When your mother is there, acting through you, pay attention - stop it, walk away from there. Do something new, something your mother never conceived of. For example, your boyfriend looks at other women appreciatively. Watch your reaction: Are you doing the same thing your mom did when your dad looked appreciatively at another woman? If you are like that, you will never know love, you will simply repeat the story. It was the same play with different actors, all like that; the same performance over and over and over again. Don’t be a copycat and run from there. Do something new. Do something your mother wouldn't think of. Do something new that your dad wouldn't think of.

The new will come into your being and your love will begin to flow. So, the first point is: get rid of your parents.

The second point is: people think they can only love - when they find - a worthy person, stupid! You'll never find one. People think that when they find a perfect man or perfect woman, they will fall in love with him/her and they can only love perfect people. Silly words! You will never find them because the perfect man or perfect woman does not exist. If they existed, they would not be moved by your love. They have no interest.

I heard about a man who stayed single all his life because he was looking for the perfect woman. When he was 70 years old, someone asked him: "You have been traveling from KABAL to KATHMANDU, from KABAL to GOA, from GOA to Pune; you Always looking. Haven't you found a perfect woman?"

The old man was very sad. He said: "Yes, I once met one: I once met a perfect woman."

The questioner: "And what happened? Why didn't you get married?" < /p>

He became very, very sad. He said, "What can I do? She's looking for a perfect man."

Remember, when two people are perfect, their love needs are different from your love needs of. It has a completely different quality. You don't understand that love - the love for you, you can't understand what happens with love in Buddha, and the love that flows from me to you - you can't understand it.

First, you must understand that love is a work of nature. Even before it happens. You must first understand nature, and then the transcendent.

So, the second thing to remember is this: Never look for a perfect man or a perfect woman. That's what you put in your head - unless you find a perfect man or a perfect woman, you won't be happy. So you keep looking for the perfect person, and you won't find the perfect person, so you are unhappy. And you have a reason to be unhappy.

There is no need to be perfect to flow and grow in love. Love has nothing to do with other people. One who loves simply loves, just as a living person breathes, drinks, eats and sleeps. Like a truly living person, a person who loves - love. You don't say, "Unless there is perfect air, clean air, I will not breathe." You continue to breathe, even in Los Angeles; you continue to breathe in Bombay. You continue to breathe polluted air, poisonous gases wherever you go. You continue to breathe. You can't stop breathing because the air is unclean. If you're hungry, you eat something--no matter what they are.

In the desert, if you are dying of thirst, you will drink whatever is available. You don't wait for Coca-Cola, anything will do - anything drinkable, as long as it's water, even dirty water. People are known to drink their own urine. When a man is dying, he doesn't care what he drinks...anything to quench his thirst.

In the desert, people kill their camels to get water to drink - camels store water inside their bodies. This puts them in danger and has to walk a long way. But they are so thirsty...the first need is first. The first is water, otherwise they will die. If they save the camel - what will they do? The camels will carry the bodies to the town and they will not survive.

A living person simply loves. Love is a natural operation.

So, the second thing to remember is: Don’t ask for perfection, or love won’t flow through you. Instead, you will become unlovable. People who demand perfection are very unlovable people and neurotic people. Even if they find a beloved or a lover, they demand perfection - because of their demands, love will be destroyed.

As soon as a man falls in love with a woman or a woman falls in love with a man, the demand comes in immediately. The woman starts asking the man to be perfect just because he loves her. It's like he thinks he's a criminal! Now he had to be perfect, now he had to throw away all his limitations at once - just because of this woman. Now he can no longer be an ordinary person. He must either become a superman or a villain, a fake, a liar. It is naturally very difficult to become a superman, so people act like liars. They started pretending, acting, and playing games. In the name of love, people are playing games.

So the second thing to remember is: never ask for perfection. You have no right to demand anything from anyone. If someone loves you, be grateful, but don't ask for anything - because he has no obligation to love you. If anyone loves, it's a miracle. Tremble at this miracle.

But people don’t tremble. For a little thing, they destroy all the ability to love. They have no interest in love and the joy of love. They are more interested in other journeys of the self. Focus on your joy. Focus entirely on your joy, only your joy. Everything else is unimportant.

Love, like your breathing, is a natural operation. When you fall in love with someone, don't be demanding; otherwise, you will close the door from the beginning. Don't expect anything. If something crosses your path, be grateful for it. If something doesn't happen, it doesn't need to happen, it doesn't have to happen. You can't expect it.

But look at people and see how they treat each other as "oughts." If your woman prepares food for you, never thank her. I'm not saying you should describe your gratitude, but it should be in your eyes. But you don't care, you take it as it should be - that's her job. Who told you? If your man makes money for you, never thank him. You have no gratitude whatsoever. "That's what a man should do" - that's your thinking. How does love grow? Love needs a loving environment, love needs a grateful mood, gratitude. Love needs an atmosphere of no demands, no expectations. This is the second thing to remember.

And the third thing is: Instead of thinking about how to get love, give it. If you give, you receive; there is no other way. People are more interested in how to grab and obtain. Everyone is interested in receiving, no one is interested in giving. People give very reluctantly; if they give at all, they give in exchange for receiving, they are almost in business. That's a bargain. They focus on giving more and giving less - it's a good deal, good business. But others are doing the same thing.

Love is not business, so don’t think about business. Otherwise, you will miss out on your life and love, and all the beauty in it - because all beauty is not business. Business is the ugly thing in the world--a necessary evil. But existence knows no business. The tree blossoms, it is not a business; the stars shine, it is not a business, and you don't have to pay, they don't ask for anything from you. A bird comes and sings on your door, it doesn't ask you for a certificate or anything. It sang and then flew away, leaving no trace behind. This is how love grows. Give without counting how much you will receive.

Yes, it happened, and it came with a thousand times greater intensity. But it comes naturally, it comes in its own way. No need to ask for it. It never comes when you ask for it. When you asked for it, you already killed it. So, give, start giving. In the beginning, it will be difficult because you have to take off your armor.

Your muscles have stiffened, your heart has frozen, you have become apathetic. It will be difficult at first, but each step will lead to a higher step, and gradually the river will flow.

First, get rid of your parents. With getting rid of your parents, you get rid of society, with getting rid of your parents, you get rid of civilization, education, everything - because your parents represent all that. You become an individual; for the first time you are no longer part of the crowd. You have a trustworthy personality and you stand on your own heels - this is growth, this is what a mature person looks like. A mature person is a person who does not need parents. A mature person is one who does not need to be attached or dependent on anyone. A mature person is one who enjoys his solitude - his solitude is a song, a celebration. A mature person is one who is happy with himself. His solitude is not isolation, his solitude is loneliness, it is meditation. There comes a time when you have to leave your mother's womb. If you stay in your mother's womb for more than nine months, you will die - not only you, but your mother will die too. There comes a time when you have to leave your mother's womb; then, there comes a time when you have to leave the home environment - another womb - and enter the larger world. But, deep down, you are still a child. You are still in the womb - there are layers of wombs. Those wombs have to be broken.

In the East we call it the second birth. In the East, a person who becomes independent is called kiwij, rebirth. He was given a second birth; he was completely free from the influence of his parents. And that beauty is this: only such a person feels grateful to his parents. The paradox is: only such a person can forgive his parents. He has mercy on them and loves them, He has great mercy on them and loves them very much because they all suffer in the same way and in the same way. He's not angry, no, not at all. His eyes may well with tears, but he will not hold a grudge, and he will do whatever it takes to help his parents move toward that full solitude, that high solitude.

Second: Don’t expect perfection, don’t ask for it and don’t demand it. Love ordinary people. Ordinary people are not wrong. Ordinary people are not ordinary. Everyone is unique - respect that uniqueness.

Third: Give, and give unconditionally - and you will know what love is. I can't define it. I can show you the path to growth. I can show you how to place a rose, how to water it, how to fertilize it, how to protect it. Then one day, the roses bloom among the green bushes and fill your home with fragrance - love happens.

Reference: BAIDU