Is it like "a desolate city in the rain" written by Haizi?

Or how you feel in the depths of the Gobi?

Is it the moonlight at the end of the grassland?

Or is it a secret hiding place that has sprung up?

Delingha is unique and mysterious, which makes it have a changeable coat. A thousand people come here for a thousand purposes. Between such seclusion and cold silence, Delingha is a place of feelings that I can't get around for many years because of Haizi. From the desolation of Gobi to full of green, from the sudden release of sunshine to the quiet night, Delingha, three beautiful words are repeated in my mind.

There is no golden horse here, competing for the lofty aspirations of the Central Plains; There is no moon in the old country, and there is no feeling of gold powder and jade carving. This is an ancient sea, a young basin and a new city. The beautiful and rich Bayin River, the vast Qilian Mountains, the magical Tara rock paintings, the Ikala Ranch in the wildlife kingdom, the mysterious "alien" site, the salty couple lake, and countless cypress mountains throughout the ages ... Compared with the heroic and unrestrained northwest, Delingha is only faint, but because of its various faces, the northwest has a little more tenderness in the splendor.

At the beginning of this year, my friend Ran and I talked more than once about a long trip before going abroad. I will definitely go to Delingha.

1On June 27th, 988, Haizi went to Tibet by train for the second time, passing through Delingha, a desolate city in the rain. Full of sadness and loneliness. Delingha is a lonely arrival in the dark, a mirage on the desolate Gobi desert, an empty silence without any traces of life, and an eternal scenery released under the black hole in the poet's heart.

On June 26th, 20 18, I once again came to the northwest with deep feelings and made a special trip to Delingha. Bayin River, formed by high mountains and snow, runs through the city and divides the city into north and south areas. Haizi has been in Delingha for 30 years. This small town is not an "empty Gobi city", but it is already a different scene. People live a quiet life, full of green everywhere, without a sense of desolation. Goodbye Delingha night today, who would have thought that she was once a "desolate city" on the vast Gobi described by the poet?

When I can get there, my heart still floats naturally-

"Elder sister, I am in Delingha tonight, and the night is shrouded.

Sister, I only have Gobi tonight.

I am empty-handed at the end of the grassland.

I can't keep a tear when I am sad. "

......

Every time I read this poem, I will sigh that talent is really a definite thing. Although colorless, tasteless and untouchable, it is clear at a glance. Like loneliness in a poem.

Leave the tea card, cross the Gobi desert at dusk and arrive at Delingha, a quiet little city. I live not far from Haizi Poetry Hall, as if I could be close to poets.

I woke up early in the morning, packed up properly, and started a journey to find Haizi poetry exhibition hall with Xiao. In Delingha in June, the willows are swaying and the wind is blowing, which is completely different from Qinghai Lake and burning tea cards in the rain. The morning light falls lazily, and the warmth illuminates every corner of the town.

Delingha at this time, like a bowl of refreshing rice porridge, exudes a touch of rice fragrance. The traces of time are gone, so we can bypass the corner of the town and have a cup of warm soybean milk. Only by slowing down can we taste the unique style of Delingha.

Not far away, we came to Haizi Poetry Exhibition Hall, an elegant courtyard. The blue sky is high, and faint white clouds are scattered and floating over the city. At this time in the morning, Delingha is quiet and empty.

In the quiet poetry hall, only two strangers, Xiao and I, came to this spiritual date. Walking to the door in the morning light, I looked up and saw two poems written by the poet Gidemaga: a few people became attached to the world, and a poem "Flowers bloom in heaven". Stopping at the door, I can't help but think of the poet's short life of 25 years.

As most people know, Haizi started with the song "Facing the Sea, Spring Blossoms" and ended up lying on the railroad tracks and committing suicide. I don't care about loneliness, and I have no intention of being tragic. Such a talented poet has just fallen, just like a lonely jigsaw puzzle that the world can't read, living in people's memory forever and never getting old. He left a poem of 2 million words to future generations. In the last two years of his life, he was like a young star, racing against time and then suddenly exploding.

Walking into the museum, it is a small room filled with Haizi-related items: words, images and books. Simple and elegant. Standing in the poetry museum that belongs to Haizi and doesn't belong to Haizi, I read a book for a long time, without a sound.

Look at the life written by the world for him, commemorate his poems, and interpret his relationship with four women ... I don't know who can really understand how much sadness and loneliness he has in his heart. We seem to have approached him, but we don't seem to have walked in.

I walked slowly to the front of the poem that haunted Delingha, and read it silently in my heart, unable to bear to make any noise. At that time, Haizi caught a sister in his barren and scarred heart. Frustration triggered the poet's poetry and left us with infinite speculation and interpretation.

"I returned the stone to the stone.

Let the victory of victory

Tonight, highland barley belongs only to himself.

Everything is growing.

I only have beautiful Gobi sky tonight.

Sister, I don't care about humans tonight, I just want you. "

Although this poem has been recited for a long time, the aesthetic is saturated, but when we look at each other again, we should try our best to remember this sentence "Sister, I don't care about human beings tonight, I just want you". Yes, it's too big. All I need is you.

My good friend Xiao is not interested in poetry. He came with me completely. Halfway through, she left the museum, leaving me alone to talk to Haizi. Nishikawa, a poet and former friend of Haizi, said: "For us, Haizi is a genius, but for himself, he will always be a lonely' king'.

When I was in Shenzhen, I chatted with my good friend Chen Duo, whom I regarded as my bosom friend, and talked about the reason why I wanted to go to Delingha. I said it was probably because Haizi was poetic and wanted to see the lonely and desolate city in Haizi's eyes. Chen Duo sent me Four Sisters by Haizi and told me that it was one of her favorite poems. I can't say why, but I like it very much.

I think it's probably because of the loneliness of * * *. Same loneliness, same * * *. Everyone is lonely, and loneliness is an eternal topic for human beings. Haizi's heart is full of loneliness, just as he wrote in Loneliness in Changping: "Loneliness is the person who carries water in the deer king's spring sleep/deer hunter dream/fish basket." "Pulling ashore is still a fish basket, and loneliness is hard to say."

Writing here, I suddenly remembered Haizi's good friend Luo Yihe. As far as talent is concerned, Luo Yihe is by no means inferior to Haizi, but unfortunately he lacks the legend of death as a foil. Poetry is not a popular thing after all. Maybe I don't need to feel sorry for Luo Yihe, who was silent under Haizi's reputation. After all, anyone who has written a poem will understand that the moment you stop writing is the supreme satisfaction.

Luo Yihe said: We loved, lived, died and never looked back.

Out of the poetry museum, we went back to reality, looked at Delingha, a small town, took a breath of fresh air, and our heads were empty. I guess a person in the morning, like a muddy claw, has no trace. I had to light a cigarette and catch a glimpse of the fate between Haizi and Delingha through the passage of time. Then, in awe, he turned and left.