Etiquette refers to the behavioral norms and norms formed by people in social interaction activities. Specific manifestations include courtesy, etiquette, appearance, ceremony, etc.

Chinese etiquette and rituals: There are five rites in ancient China. Sacrifice matters are auspicious ceremonies, wedding ceremonies are wedding ceremonies, guest affairs are guest ceremonies, military affairs are military ceremonies, and funeral ceremonies are It's a bad thing.

Folklore circles believe that etiquette includes four life rites: birth, crown, marriage and funeral. In fact, etiquette can be divided into two major categories: politics and life.

1. The political category includes sacrifices to heaven, earth, and ancestral temples, sacrifices to ancestors and saints, drinking ceremonies in honor of teachers, meeting ceremonies, military ceremonies, etc.

Political Etiquette

Sacrifice to Heaven

The Sacrifice to Heaven, which began in the Zhou Dynasty, is also called Suburban Sacrifice. It is held on the southern outskirts of the capital on the day of the winter solstice. The ancients first paid attention to the worship of entities, and the worship of heaven was also reflected in the worship of the moon and the worship of the stars. All these specific worships, only after reaching a certain amount, are abstracted into the worship of heaven. People in the Zhou Dynasty worshiped heaven, which developed from the worship of "emperors" in the Yin Dynasty. The supreme ruler was the emperor, and the power of the king was granted by God. Sacrifice to heaven served the supreme ruler. Therefore, the popularity of worshiping heaven did not end until the Qing Dynasty.

Sacrificing the Earth

The summer solstice is the day of worshiping the earth, and the etiquette is roughly the same as worshiping the sky. In the Han Dynasty, the God of Earth was called Earth Mother, saying that she was the goddess who blessed mankind and was also called the God of Society. The earliest sacrifice to the ground was a blood sacrifice. After the Han Dynasty, the Feng Shui belief that it was not appropriate to break ground became prevalent. The etiquette of worshiping the land also includes offering sacrifices to mountains and rivers, to the gods of earth, gods of grains, and crops.

The ancestral temple system

The ancestral temple system is the product of ancestor worship. The ancestral temple is the residence built by people for the souls of the dead in the mortal world. The emperor's ancestral temple system is seven temples for the emperor, five temples for the princes, three temples for the officials, and one temple for the scholars. Common people are not allowed to build temples. The location of the ancestral temple is that the emperor and princes are located on the left side of the gate. The doctor sleeps on the left side of the temple and on the right side of the temple. For common people, there is an ancestral shrine next to the kitchen hall in the dormitory. During the sacrifice, divination is also required to select the corpse. The corpse is usually served by grandchildren and children. The main deity in the temple is a wooden rectangular parallelepiped, which is placed only for sacrifices. The sacrifices cannot be called by their names. When offering sacrifices, nine prayers are performed, including "Ji Shou", "Dun Shou", "Empty Shou", "Zhen Shou", "Ji Shou", "Ok Shou", "Qi Shou", "Praise Prayer" and "Supreme Prayer". Sacrifices in ancestral temples also include sacrifices to ancestors of the past emperors. According to the "Book of Rites·Quli", sacrifices are made to all ancestors who have made meritorious service to the people, such as Emperor Ku, Yao, Shun, Yu, Huangdi, King Wen, and King Wu. Since the Han Dynasty, cemeteries and temples have been built to worship ancestors. Taizu of the Ming Dynasty was the first to establish a temple for all emperors in Kyoto. During the Jiajing period, a temple for emperors of all dynasties was built in Fuchengmen, Beijing, to worship the thirty-six emperors of the past.

Sacrifice

After the Han and Wei dynasties, Zhou Gong was regarded as the first sage and Confucius was the first teacher; in the Tang Dynasty, Confucius was regarded as the first sage and Yan Hui was the first teacher. After the Tang and Song dynasties, the "Shi Mian" ceremony (a ritual of recommending food and drink, with music but no corpse) has been used as a scholarly ceremony and as a ceremony for worshiping Confucius. During the Southern and Northern Dynasties, memorial ceremonies were held twice a year in the spring and autumn, and temples of Confucius and Yan were also set up in various counties and schools. In the Ming Dynasty, Confucius was called "the most holy teacher". In the Qing Dynasty, there was a Confucius Temple in Shengjing (Shenyang, Liaoning Province). After Beijing was established as the capital, the Imperial Academy of the Capital was used as the Imperial Academy and a Confucian Temple was established. Confucius called him "the most holy master of literature and propaganda in Dacheng". Qufu's temple system, sacrificial vessels, musical instruments and etiquette are based on Beijing Taixue. The rural drinking ceremony is the product of offering sacrifices to ancestors and saints.

Meeting Ceremony

When subordinates meet their superiors, they must bow to each other. Officials bow to each other. Dukes, marquises, and consorts bow twice when they meet each other. Subordinates live in the west. He bows first, and the superior, who lives in the east, responds by bowing. When common people meet each other, they salute according to their elders and younger ones. Do four bows when you are outside, and bow when you are near.

Military rituals

Including conquest, taxation, hunting, construction, etc.

2. Lifestyle categories include Five Sacrifice, Gaozi Sacrifice, Nuo Ceremony, Birth Ceremony, Crown Ceremony, Food Etiquette, Gift Etiquette, etc.

Life Etiquette

Birth Ceremony

From a woman’s request for a child when she is not pregnant to the baby’s first birthday, all rituals revolve around the theme of longevity. The sacrifice of Gaozi is the etiquette of begging for children. At this time, an altar was set up in the southern suburbs, and all the concubines and concubines participated. During the Han and Wei dynasties, there were sacrifices to Gaozi. During the Tang and Song Dynasties, the etiquette for the sacrifice of Gaozi was formulated. In the Jin Dynasty, Gaozi was used to worship the Qing Emperor. A wooden square platform was built in the north of Yong'an Gate in the east of the imperial city, with a statue of Gaozi under the platform. In the Qing Dynasty, there was no Gaohu sacrifice, but there was a "rope-changing" ceremony with the same meaning. Birth ceremonies have tended to favor boys over girls since ancient times. Birth ceremonies also include "three dynasties", "full moon", "hundred days", "one year old", etc.

Sanchao is when a baby receives gifts from all aspects on the third day after his birth. The baby's hair is shaved when the baby is one month old. On the 100th day, the uncle's recognition and naming ceremony are performed. When the child is one year old, the Zhuzhou ritual is performed to predict the child's life destiny and career success.

The Coming of Age Ceremony

Also called the Crowning Ceremony, it is the crowning ceremony for men who have entered the ranks of adults. The crown ceremony evolved from the initiation ceremony that young men and women participated in when they matured, which was popular in clan society. The Han Dynasty followed the Zhou Dynasty's crown ceremony system. During the Wei and Jin Dynasties, Jia Guan began to be accompanied by music. The crown ceremony was practiced in the Tang, Song, Yuan and Ming dynasties, but was abolished in the Qing Dynasty. Many ethnic minority areas in China still retain ancient coming-of-age rituals, such as tooth extraction, tooth dyeing, wearing skirts, pants, and hair buns.

Feasting Etiquette

Feasting is held in the Imperial Ancestral Temple. Tailao is cooked to drink for the guests. The emphasis is on etiquette exchanges rather than food. Yan is a banquet. Yanli is held in the palace. The guest of honor is You can drink as much as you want. Yanli has a profound influence on the formation of Chinese food culture. Festival banquets form festival food etiquette in Chinese folk food customs. Yuanxiao is eaten on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, cold rice and cold food are eaten on the Qingming Festival, rice dumplings and realgar wine are served on the Dragon Boat Festival in May, mooncakes on the Mid-Autumn Festival, Laba rice porridge, dumplings on New Year's Eve, etc. are all part of the festival rituals. Eating specific foods on specific festivals is also a dietary etiquette. The seating arrangements at the banquet, the order in which dishes are served, and the etiquette of drinking and toasting all also have requirements on men and women, superiority and inferiority, elder-younger relationships, and taboos in praying and praying in social customs.

Best courtesy

It is mainly a courtesy for receiving guests. There are hierarchical differences in gift-giving etiquette when interacting with guests. When a gentleman meets his guest, he will treat the host as a pheasant; when a lower-level official meets, he will treat a goose as a zhi; when an upper-level official meets a senior official, he will treat a lamb as a zhi.

The five sacrifices

refers to offering sacrifices to the door, household, well, stove and Zhongliu (middle room). In the Zhou Dynasty, households were worshiped in spring, stoves in summer, Zhongliu in June, doors in autumn, and wells in winter. During the Han and Wei dynasties, five sacrifices were performed according to the seasons. In the third month of Mengdong, there was a "La Wu Sacrifice", with a total of one sacrifice. In the Tang, Song and Yuan Dynasties, the theory of "seven sacrifices to the emperor" was adopted, including worshiping Siming (little god in the palace), Zhongliu, Guomen, Guoxing, Taili (wild ghost), Hu, and Zao. During the Ming and Qing dynasties, the Five Sacrifices were still held. After the Emperor Kangxi of the Qing Dynasty, the special sacrifices at the door, door, middle, and well were stopped, and the stove was only worshiped on the 23rd day of the twelfth lunar month, which coincided with the folk legend of the Kitchen God who spoke to the sky on the 24th day of the twelfth lunar month. The stories are consistent, and the national sacrificial ceremony adopts folk forms.

Nuo ritual

It originated in prehistory and became popular in the Shang and Zhou dynasties. The Nuo ritual of the Zhou Dynasty was to expel evil spirits and drive away epidemics throughout the four seasons. Zhou people believed that the movement of nature was closely connected with the good and bad luck of human affairs. The seasons change, cold and heat change, plagues spread, and ghosts take advantage of the situation to cause trouble, so it is necessary to perform Nuo at the right time to drive away evil. The main god in Nuo rituals is Fang Xiangshi. During the Han Dynasty, twelve beasts matching Fang Xiangshi appeared in Nuo rituals. The Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, Sui and Tang Dynasties followed the Han system, and entertainment elements were added to Nuo rituals. The roles of Fang Xiangshi and the twelve mythical beasts were played by musicians. The Tujia Nuo ceremony in Guizhou that still remains is the most complete and typical.

Social Etiquette

Handshake Etiquette

The handshake etiquette originated from ancient Europeans showing each other that they did not carry weapons in their hands to express cordiality and friendship. It later became a fashion , popular in Europe and the United States. Our country has also become accustomed to courtesy after the Revolution of 1911. In today's business interactions, a handshake is the most commonly used greeting gift.

The way of shaking hands:

Both parties each Stretch out your right hands, keeping a distance of about one meter between each other, and extend your palms slightly forward and downward

Handshake Etiquette

Straight, with the four fingers of your right hand together, thumb upward, palm to the left, hand The height of the person should be roughly at the same level as the waist. When holding each other's hands, they should look at each other with a smile and exchange a few words with each other.

When shaking hands, you should pay attention to:

1 Don’t be half-hearted and keep your eyes on the other person;

2 The handshake time should not be too long (usually about 3 seconds to 5 seconds) );

3 Do not pat the other person’s arm when shaking hands;

4 Do not use excessive force when shaking hands.

(If the relationship is normal, both parties can hold each other with a little force and shake it up and down; if the relationship is close, you can use a little force and shake it up and down a few times to express very friendly or deep affection between the two parties. But only hold the fingertips It is considered impolite to only extend your fingertips or wrap your hands around the other person's hand.)

Handshake etiquette

Principles that should be followed when shaking hands: The distinguished person comes first.

Between superiors and subordinates, the superior should reach out first; between elders and juniors, the elder should reach out first

Between men and women, women should reach out first; Who reaches out first.

Note: When the two parties who shake hands meet two or more of the above orders, generally consider position first, then age, and then gender.

Note: When making introductions, the person with the highest position should be introduced first (the person with the lower position is introduced first, and then the person with the higher position); but when shaking hands, the person with the highest position should be in front (the person with the higher position reaches out first).

When guests and hosts shake hands, the order of extending hands is different. When greeting a guest, the host extends his hand first; when seeing off the guest, the guest reaches out first. When a guest arrives, the host usually extends his hand first to express welcome; when the guest leaves, it is usually the guest who extends his hand first. The guest extends his hand first, indicating that the host can stay.

Taboos of shaking hands

Not shaking hands with both hands, not shaking hands with left hand, not crossing hands, not shaking hands with gloves, not shaking hands with unclean hands

Not when shaking hands Put the other hand in your pocket and shake hands without wearing sunglasses, except for those with eye diseases or eye defects

Business card etiquette

Business cards are a form of modern business communication Economical and practical communication tool. It is a kind of self-introduction letter and "contact card".

Business people should understand the selection and production of business cards, and the etiquette of handing and receiving business cards.

Business card etiquette

Specifications The specifications of business cards are generally 8.6cm-10cm long and 5.5-6cm wide. At present, the most common size of business cards in China is 9cm × 5.5cm

The colors are mostly white, milky white, light blue, light yellow and other colors

The layout is horizontal and vertical (horizontal business cards The order of lines is from top to bottom, and the order of words is from left to right)

The texture of the business card is suitable for soft and wear-resistant white cardboard, scented paper, etc.

The pattern of the graphic business card should be Simple; the text should use simplified Chinese characters, and do not print the two characters alternately on the same side of the business card. It is best to print the same content in simplified Chinese characters and another text on both sides.

Contents of a standard business card:

My affiliation (corporate logo, employer, department), my title (name, position, title)

Contact Method (unit address, phone number, fax, postal code, you can also list the unit’s website, personal email or mobile phone, etc.)

Etiquette for handing out business cards—How to request a business card

< p>1. Take the initiative to hand over your business card (e.g.: Hello! This is my business card. Please keep in touch or take care of me in the future!)

2. Propose to the other party to exchange business cards (e.g.: We Can we exchange business cards? (Nice to meet you, can I exchange business cards with you?)

3. Ask for a business card from someone with a high status (I have long admired your name, but I don’t know how to ask you for advice in the future?) Nice to meet you! I want to ask you for advice in the future, but I don’t know how to contact you)

4. Ask for a business card from a peer or junior (how can I contact you in the future?)

Note:

If someone asks you for a business card and you don’t want to give it, express it in a tactful way and don’t refuse directly. How to say it?

What should I say if I don’t have a business card?

The order in which business cards are delivered: Generally, the person with a lower position first delivers the business card to the person with a higher position, the younger generation first delivers the business card to the elder, the gentleman first delivers the business card to the lady, and then the latter gives the gift in return; when delivering business cards to multiple people The time should be from high to low, from near to far, (round table) in clockwise order.

How to deliver the business card: You should smile, face the front of the business card to the other person, hand it to the other person with both hands (use the thumb and index finger of both hands to hold the upper corners of the business card to the other person) and say hello language. (For example: This is my business card, please give me more advice or keep in touch!) When handing and receiving business cards, if one party is handing or receiving them, use both hands; if both parties are exchanging business cards at the same time, they should hand them with the right hand and receive them with the left hand. Do not hold the business card between your fingers. When delivering the business card, if you are sitting, you should stand up or lean down.

Etiquette for handing and receiving business cards - How to receive business cards

1. When receiving a business card, you should stand up or lean down, smile, and catch the lower two corners of the business card with both hands. After receiving the business card, you should express your thanks and read it carefully to show that you value the other person;

2. Keep the business card properly after reading it, and do not fiddle with it in your hand or put it on the table casually.< /p>

3. If you put it on the table temporarily, do not put other items on the business card, and don't forget to take the business card with you when you leave.

Notes on business cards:

Do not write irrelevant things on other people’s business cards; when attending business social events, remember to bring your business card.

Etiquette for handing and receiving business cards - Placement of business cards

The business cards you carry with you should be placed in a business card holder or in the inner pocket of a suit jacket or briefcase.

It is impolite to put your business card in other pockets, especially in your hip pockets, skirt pockets or wallets.

It is best to keep other people’s business cards separately from your own.

Chinese etiquette plays a "quasi-faith" role in Chinese culture. Chinese etiquette permeates every aspect of people's daily lives. Table manners, hospitality, greetings when visiting, etc.

We are now promoting the "Eight Etiquette and Four Etiquette"

The "Eight Etiquette" refers to "the etiquette of appearance", "the etiquette of ceremony", "the etiquette of speaking" and "the etiquette of treating others" , "The etiquette of walking", "The etiquette of viewing", "The etiquette of sightseeing", "The etiquette of dining". This includes having a clean face, decent clothing, natural hairstyle, and elegant demeanor. Dining etiquette includes paying attention to hygiene, cherishing food, eating frugally, and eating in an elegant manner. The etiquette of speaking includes using civilized language, being calm, listening patiently, and being sincere and friendly. The etiquette of treating others includes respecting teachers, being friendly to partners, being tolerant and courteous, and treating others with integrity. The etiquette of walking includes observing traffic regulations, giving way to others, helping the elderly and the weak, and taking the initiative to give up your seat. The etiquette of viewing refers to observing order, caring for the environment, appreciating attentively, and cheering politely when watching artistic performances and sports competitions. The etiquette of visiting is to be kind to the scenery, protect cultural relics, respect folk customs, and abide by public ethics. Ritual etiquette refers to paying attention to civilized etiquette, practicing etiquette according to the rules, being in awe, being solemn and solemn, and respecting etiquette and customs.

The "Four Rituals" refer to the entrance ceremony (7 years old), growth ceremony (10 years old), youth ceremony (14 years old), and adult ceremony (18 years old), which educate and guide minors to strengthen civilized etiquette. Literacy.

There are ten ceremonial movements and two regular ceremonial movements. It carries the principles of two-way reciprocity, orderliness, indispensability, and appropriate communication and conduct principles.

The ten ceremonial movements are: hand-over salute, one-bow salute, two-bow salute, three-bow salute, kowtow salute, hand-holding salute, push-hand salute, hand-over salute, bow salute, and bow salute.

Two common etiquette actions are bowing to parents when meeting for the first time, and bowing to friends, classmates, and colleagues.

Hand-over salute

Close your hands in front of your chest and draw them from front to back, forming a hand-over gesture. Push forward without bowing.

Depending on the distance, it can be high, but not lower than the chest.

Daily meeting and farewell gifts.

The salute

Closing your hands in front of your chest is lighter than holding your fists, but more important than cupping your hands. Bow slightly or not at all.

Used for daily salutes, respecting elders, classmates and friends.

One salute (prostrations)

Stretch your arms, bring them to your chest, and close your hands. The male's left hand is in front, and the female's right hand is in front. Bow (30 degrees). Move your arms along with your waist, but keep your head still

It is used when meeting someone for the first time, to show respect to your elders, and to perform family etiquette. Only one line.

Regular gift.

Two prostrations (prostrations again)

Stretch your arms in front of your face and close your hands. Bow (45 degrees). Move your arms with your waist and keep your head still.

It is used as a great gift to the superior. Generally, one line is called "Bai". A maximum of two lines are required, which is called "Bearing Again".

Three prostrations (then salute to the forehead and hands)

Stand firm, stand tall, and be solemn.

"Hands are attached to the heart." The hands are attached between the chest and abdomen, with boys' left hand in front and girls' right hand in front. Stack them together, with your elbows and hands in a straight line. The hands represent "harmony with heaven and earth". Heaven's virtue is great, strong, long-lasting, trustworthy, and a great beginning. Earth's virtues are great in bearing, great in tolerance, great in enrichment, and great in giving. Both virtues have their own merits. Virtue can change with time and circumstances.

"High Yi." Push your hands forward and upward, push them to the front of your forehead, and straighten your arms.

"Salute (bow)." The head, neck, and arms do not move, and the waist is bowed deeply (90 degrees).

"Xing." Stand up and raise your hands to your forehead.

"Salute again (bow again)."

"Xing."

"Forehead hands." Put your hands to your forehead and push them out.

"Three rows of salutes (three bows)."

"Xing."

"The ceremony is completed." Reposition your hands to the chest and abdomen.

It is used to respect the ancestors and teachers of heaven and earth, to respect parents on special occasions, and to perform the great gift of life.

Used for collective salutes.

There are three rituals to be done while standing, which is called "Bowing the forehead and hands again", which is equivalent to the ancient "Bowing to the head again".

Kowtow ceremony

The ancients called it "ju" or "sitting upright" because they sat on the ground on their calves and heels. It is very convenient to perform this great ceremony.

The greatest ritual performed by the ancients was the "Kowtow Again" ritual. Sit down first, straighten your body, and keep your buttocks from your calves, that is, don't kneel down. Pray first and do two salutations. The action of praying is to clasp your hands in front of your forehead, lower them, pray to the ground in front of you, and lean forward along with your arms. When performing the third salute, move your hands downward and apart, with your palms facing upward. Bow down, place the back of your hand on the ground in front of you, and tap your forehead to the ground. The third ceremonial action can also be done by keeping your hands together and tapping your forehead to the palms of your hands. These three ceremonial actions express increasing respect. Nowadays, people can bow and kowtow again, or they can just perform the kowtow ceremony once. Standing is the "re-forehead-hand salute" and "forehead-hand salute". Three means more, no matter how many there are, it is still three.

Only used for specific rituals, such as respecting heaven and earth to respect ancestors, respecting ancestors on specific occasions, respecting biological parents and ancestors on specific occasions, and husband and wife bowing to each other on the wedding day. You can't do it casually. Doing it casually is a violation of etiquette and an insult to the other person.

Hand-holding ceremony

Stretch both hands out side by side, with the junior’s palms facing down and the elder’s palms facing up. The elder holds the junior’s hand. The elders can sit and hold the hands of the younger ones.

Family etiquette. Couple etiquette when getting married.

The hand-in-hand ceremony

is only used when students pay homage to Confucius, and the teacher returns the courtesy on behalf of Confucius. On the statue of Confucius, Confucius used this gesture of returning the gift. Cross your hands in front of your chest, push them out, and show them levelly.

Teacher cannot return this gift casually.

Bowing

Drop your hands and bow. The bow can be large or small, the lower it is, the more respectful it is.

Nodding and bowing are used by elders to return gifts.

Hand-attaching ceremony

The hands are placed between the chest and abdomen, with the upper hand on the left for men and the right for women.

Stand before saluting and raise the national flag. Show sincerity and integrity.

Shaking hands, waving, waving, waving, hugging, standing up, applauding, nodding, bowing, answering, smiling, asking, and giving way are also etiquette and belong to the categories of "ceremony" and "appearance".

The above etiquette actions may seem complicated, but usually only the equal and reciprocal hand-over salute and respectful salute among friends are used. Whatever the other party can do, you can repay yourself, it's very simple.

The rules of etiquette are that there should be comings and goings, reciprocity in both directions, and orderliness. When the other party salutes, he must return the salute. No matter how high your status or seniority, you must return the favor, otherwise it will be disrespectful and rude. Responding, nodding, and bowing are all returns of courtesy.

Salute to the ancestors of heaven and earth, but the ancestors of heaven and earth will not return the gift. Because they have been "gifting" to us, and we are just returning the favor and reciprocating.

Etiquette actions are based on the two basic value rules of etiquette and etiquette. The above are just basic specifications. There can be variations in ritual actions. Different cultures, customs, and habits vary from place to place, and etiquette actions also vary. Only when there are basic formulas and differences can they be distinguished and suitable. Japan, South Korea, and other countries and regions influenced by Confucian culture retain Confucian cultural traditions and are all branches of Confucian culture. Salute according to your own tradition, so that it will be unique and appropriate. In mainland China, etiquette was taken to extremes by the monarchy and has now been discontinued. It is necessary to return to the origins of Zhou etiquette, combine the achievements of Western culture, and formulate etiquette to connect ancient and modern times at home and abroad. There may be differences in implementation in different places.

The new etiquette inherits the ancient etiquette, and the etiquette actions distance people and make them respect each other. At the same time, it develops and changes to adapt to people's hearts, shorten the distance between people, and increase the "hand-holding" ceremony to make each other love each other. Get the right balance between the two.

The etiquette movements have changed the appearance of being humble, the moral character is resolute and upright, and the moral character is elegant and noble. Saluting people brings harmony to the universe.

Summary

The inherent rules of etiquette: retribution is two-way, equality and reciprocity, orderly and in place.

The function of etiquette is: etiquette produces respect, respect produces emotion, and respect produces holiness. The respect that comes from etiquette can be transferred to work, study, and treating others. Being dedicated, respectful, respecting people, and being respected means that people are first-class people. When people lose their etiquette and rituals, they also lose respect. They are disrespectful in everything and become second-rate or third-rate people. The ceremonial actions of ancestors first make people respectful. A handshake can only generate affection, not respect.

To improve character and improve national character, it cannot be done without being disrespectful.

Etiquette takes the straight path as the center, while practicing the important path and the path of forgiveness.

The rules of Shi (beginning): humble yourself and respect others, and practice the way of respect and concession.

The rules of repayment: repay each other in a straightforward manner, reciprocate what comes and what goes. You can repay me with peach and Qiong Yao. You must not retaliate, you must not retaliate lightly, and you must not not retaliate.

Those who know etiquette know reason, those who are polite are reasonable, and those who are polite are reasonable.

Etiquette comes from the heart, etiquette comes from oneself.

The combination of "self-denial" and "self-control". The combination of "restoring propriety" and "benevolence".

Confucius said: "Restraining oneself and restoring propriety is benevolence."

Confucius said: "Being benevolent depends on oneself, but does it depend on others?"