Being able to tell a three-minute joke

Being able to tell a three-minute joke, whether in school or in the office, someone who can tell jokes to make everyone happy will be very popular. Jokes can relieve stress and relax the mood. Here are some three-minute jokes recommended for everyone. I hope it will be helpful to everyone. I also hope that everyone will laugh often and be happy every day. A three-minute joke 1

1. Once upon a time, Americans went to Russia for sightseeing. One day I saw two Russian workers on the road in Russia. One was digging holes beside the road with a shovel, and he was digging a hole every three meters. The other worker was immediately backfilling the hole that the previous worker had just dug. The Americans were curious and asked the first Russian worker: "Why did the man behind you fill the hole as soon as you dug it?" Get up? ”

The Russian worker replied: “We are greening the road. I dig holes, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second person asked for leave today and didn't come. 』

2. A man was adventuring alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky: "I'm dead, God, save me!"

As soon as the light appeared in the sky, a voice came: "Not sure yet, you pick up another big one on the ground. Stone, smash the leader to death." So he picked up the largest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, killing the chief. The tribesmen were all stunned for a moment, and then looked at each other angrily. At this time, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead."

3. This is the smell

Once upon a time, there was an old father-in-law who liked to drink the soup that his wife cooked for him. If he didn’t drink it for a day, he would feel sick all over. Later, his wife died and he couldn't drink that kind of soup. He was very sad, so he started asking his wife to cook it.

But no matter how well his wife cooked it, he always threw it aside and said: "If it doesn't taste like this, you can make such a terrible soup!" At first, his wife always tolerated it. She swallowed hard, but as the days passed, she still couldn't cook it. Finally she had the murderous intention to kill her father-in-law. But she didn't know how to start. She was thinking and thinking, and suddenly she found a rusty can of insecticide in the corner.

She sprayed pesticide into the soup and then plucked up the courage to give it to her father-in-law to drink. Her father-in-law shouted, "This is what it tastes like! This is what it tastes like!"

4. Booking Office: Tickets are extremely tight now. If the train ticket you want is not available, will you accept the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After I got the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did you give me a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

Booking Office: Didn’t you say obey the adjustment? Can tell three-minute jokes 2

Because I have been stabbed more than you

After the banquet, Carrot Pian complained to Carrot Diaohua: "In terms of status, we are all the same, why should you It's really unfair that your worth at the wine table is several times higher than mine!"

Luobo Diaohua replied with a smile: "Because I've been stabbed more than you!"

The most important part of the Spring Festival Embarrassing things

The most embarrassing thing during the Spring Festival is when someone sends: Happy New Year!

But you are in a daze looking at this unfamiliar number. But I dare not ask: Who are you...

Because he is a Taurus

Zhuge Liang planned to defeat Sima Yi in an empty city, and all the generals came to congratulate him. Jiang Weidao: "The prime minister's plans are unpredictable. However, there is still something unknown about the general."

Zhuge Liang said: "Tell me."

"How did the prime minister know that Sima Yi was cautious in his life? He must not take risks?"

"Because he is a Taurus.

"

The only words to each other

The only words to each other are: You are so young, why should you keep a beard!

Grandma lost it

A mother gave birth to two children, the elder brother was called Earth, and the younger brother was called Grandma.

One day, my brother and his mother went to look for her grandma. Someone asked her: How old is your grandma?

Mom replied: It’s about the same size as his balls.

In the entertainment industry, body shape is very important.

Youtiao said to Mahua: My dear, you are absolutely right. In the entertainment industry, body shape is very important. Just like me, just because I am fatter than you, my net worth is much lower than yours.

The mantis was showing off his hand to the grasshopper: Look how beautiful my hand is with the knife!

After a while, the rooster ate the mantis and the grasshopper said proudly: I told you to take the knife. , Don’t you know that we are cracking down hard?

Dung beetle, dog, and pig race

Dung beetle, dog, and pig, participating in the 800-meter race. The dung beetle and the dog are running neck and neck, and the pig has a bad stomach because of eating. , one lap behind! Why did the pig win the championship in the end!

The pig couldn’t help pooping all the way because of its bad stomach. The beetle couldn’t help but roll the ball after seeing this, and the dog just went to make up for his lunch halfway. !

Wolf loves sheep not because of kindness

Wolf dog: Wolf, do you really love sheep?

Wild wolf: Falling in love with sheep is not because of kindness , because of famine

These are the people you may be interested in

The Golden Horn King turned the treasure gourd upside down and shouted: Sun Xingzhe

Wukong. He responded and was sucked in.

When the Golden Horn King looked around, there were also a lot of people inside, including Monkey King, Wu Song, Sora Aoi, Sun Quan, Six-Eared Macaque, King Kong, etc.

King Jinjiao was surprised: I only called him Sun Xingzhe, but why are so many people here?

At this time, Bao Hulu said: These are all "people you may be interested in"

Breeding pigs

A classmate’s family has a breeding pig. This pig is very capable and earns a lot of money for their family. However, my classmate is a careless owner who only eats food. There was no work at all.

One day we were all chatting in their yard. An aunt came in, holding a sow. When she entered the door, she said, "Let's breed our pig." "

My classmate responded politely and awkwardly: "My dad is not at home today!"

Eat soft rice

The rice in the school cafeteria is always better. Hard. As the students ate, they sighed and said: When will I be able to eat soft rice?

It turns out to be just a mirror.

Once, I was walking in the street without my glasses. On the way, I saw a very handsome and familiar man, so I took a closer look and realized, ah, it turned out to be just a mirror.

I bought it new that day. I bought a pair of pants. When I washed them for the first time, I took a look at the care label. I took it over and looked at it. It said: "Do not wash, do not dry clean, do not bleach." Are these pants disposable?

Listen to what the fifth floor has to say

I woke up this morning and saw a NetEase comment. The original text was a screenshot.

First floor: Everyone, calm down and come over and listen to what the fifth floor has to say. Say?!~

The second floor: I think what the fifth floor said makes sense.

The third floor: The fifth floor expresses the aspirations of the people.

Fourth floor: The fifth floor is indeed very good!

Fifth floor: Everyone upstairs is sb~~can tell three-minute jokes 3

1. One day, the little rabbit had to take the monthly exam. He thought he could get 100 points, but the whole class got 100 points for the red panda.

The little rabbit asked the panda: How did you get 100 points?

The red panda said: Didn’t you notice the dark circles on my face?

The red panda said: I have been studying all day long! That’s why I got 100%!

2. One day, Xiao Ming had to take a test, and the test questions were all multiple-choice questions, so Xiao Ming brought a dice. Xiao Ming would roll the dice once for each question he wrote, and he would write whatever number he got on the dice. Xiao Ming was very quick. After finishing writing, he lay down to sleep

After a while, he got up and started throwing dice again. Others asked him what he was doing. Xiao Ming said: I am checking the calculation!

3. A statistics teacher in a junior college is more clever than a fairy.

The first day of class----

The teacher announced: You can take it easy in my class. Those who want to eat breakfast can do it, but they must eat nutritiously. Basically In addition to steak, I don’t want to see anyone eating other food; it’s okay to sleep, but you must cover yourself with a quilt...

The classmates laughed.

The teacher continued: The only thing I care about is that the mobile phone must be turned off, because I will never allow anyone to disturb those sleeping classmates. The classmates laughed again.

When it came time for the final exam, everyone was busy answering their own questions, and finally the bell rang... The teacher began to collect the papers, and one of the students looked panicked and stuffed 1,000 yuan under the exam paper when handing it in, plus an extra one. The note said "10 yuan 1 cent".

The students proudly gestured "ok" to the teacher, and the teacher also gestured "ok" to the students. At the next class, the teacher finally handed out the test papers. The student thought that he must have scored 100 points in this test, but he didn’t expect (Don’t be too busy looking at the results, what would you do if you were this teacher?) Teacher He was given a test paper with "59 points" and a note with "410 yuan" written on it.

4. In the Chinese class, Xiaogang dozed off.

At this time, the Chinese teacher asked loudly on the podium: " Today we studied the text "Young Runtu". Can anyone tell me about the relationship between Lu Xun and Runtu?"

Just in time, the Chinese teacher clicked on Xiaogang's name, and he panicked Stand up and answer: "They... they... are ripe!"

5. The teacher asked: "Do you know which one is faster, sound or light?"

Lingling said: "Sound."

The teacher asked: "What basis do you have?"

Lingling: "It's so simple! Whenever I turn on the TV, I always start with Hear the sound and then see the picture. ”

6. In math class, the teacher gave the students corrected test papers.

A student was dissatisfied and said: "I don't think you should give zero points."

The teacher said: "I think so too.

It's a pity that the lowest I can do is Give zero points.

”

7. Seeing that Xiao Ming was going to be late for school,

so he entered the campus. Unexpectedly, as soon as his feet touched the ground,

he saw the instructor posing. Standing behind him with a stinky face...

Instructor: Even if you are late, you still climb the wall! Didn't your Chinese language teacher teach you "Those who follow the road will not reach it" Is that true? Look! I caught you!

Xiao Ming: Report,,,,,,report to the instructor,

I only remember the math teacher said: between two points , the straight line is the closest!

8. When I was studying classical Chinese in school, my deskmate was sleeping! The teacher asked him to get up and translate "I will not avoid death, but I will drink and drink in peace" and "Correct answer: I am not afraid of death. What's the point of rejecting a glass of wine?" I saw the guy holding up the book and said, "I'm not afraid of drinking to death." The whole class burst into laughter, "How can I do that with a glass of wine?" The whole class was shocked...

9. In private ?Tear it off?

One day, the teacher gave the whole class an extracurricular reading book,

The teacher said again: If there is anything you don’t understand, please ask me privately.

The next day, Xiao Ming went to the teacher with a pile of paper.

The teacher asked: What are you doing?

Xiao Ming replied: Teacher, didn’t you mean If there is something I don’t understand, should I tear it up and ask you?

10. One day, Xiao Ming ran very slowly.

During the sports meeting, Xiao Ming ran very slowly. ,

The teacher asked: Xiao Ming, why are you running so slowly?

Xiao Ming said: Because my father bought me jogging shoes.

Collection of humorous jokes

1. In this society, everything is fake, only poverty is real!

2. After entering the society, I I found that I couldn’t fight for my parents, I could only fight for Duoduo.

3. What is friendship? After graduation, I changed my mobile phone number 4 times without telling anyone. However, my classmates still contacted me when they got married!

4. Treat me like this To people like me, does a few hundred dollars count to me as money? It’s funny, that’s life!

5. When I was a child, I always stole money from my family without spending it first. Hide it first, because I want to try first to see if I can withstand the beating!

6. One day at school, the teacher said: "The topic of today's composition, students, is to the teacher." As soon as he finished speaking, A student stood up and said: "Teacher, please go to the hospital, we can't cure you."

7. A foreigner had never eaten lotus root, and once he had hot pot, he asked: Did you make these holes? ?

8. Which is more important, the wife or the game? Answer: Of course the wife is more important, so I only dare to play games and not my wife.

9. "Don't ask me if I'm single again. It's against the laws of heaven for us gods to fall in love with mortals!" "Holy shit, can a single dog evolve into a roaring dog now?"

10. For foodies, there is nothing that a bowl of food cannot save...

11. I found out that I am really lonely, because the phone bill of 50 yuan was deducted It has been three months since the monthly rent has been used up.

12. I went to the cinema to watch a horror movie with my wife. Just after I bought the ticket, the conductor looked at my wife and said to me: "Brother, you are wasting your money."

13. Before my mother beat me: "Don't call me mom, I don't have a mother like you."

14. In the past, staying together was a couple, but now staying together is a mobile phone. If the opportunity is in hand, it will last forever; if the opportunity is not in hand, there will be no soul.

Fifteen. When a man really falls in love with you, you will find that hey, he has an extra father. When a man pretends to fall in love with you, you will find that he has an extra son, but he is still a rebellious son. .

16. Some people look elegant and calm on the surface, but secretly check express delivery information several times a day.

Seventeen. It’s very embarrassing to be at this age. Half of my friends are already parents, and the other half of my friends are so drunk every day that they don’t even recognize their parents.

18. I was on the train today. I was hungry and took out a chocolate cake to eat. A little boy opposite me was so greedy that my mouth watered. At this time, his mother said: "Don't look, she is eating dog shit."

19. I always thought that I was smart and talented until I went to a driving school to learn to drive!

20. I want to be a degenerate rich woman who indulges in male sex all day long, gets something for nothing, has no education or skills, can fall in love without getting hurt, and eats like crazy without getting fat.

21. Suddenly one day my girlfriend told me the good news that she was pregnant. I was so excited that I punched myself in the mouth to see if I was dreaming. My girlfriend was equally excited. He gave me a slap in the face, told me this was not a dream, it was real, and then married someone else.