1. Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you!

2. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

3. Rich people eventually get married.

4. Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being deceived.

5. You are not afraid of being used, but you are afraid of being useless.

6. Other people’s money is my personal belongings.

7. If a woman pleases herself, she will be beautiful, but if a man pleases himself, he will be poor!

8. Despite the green hills, there is still no firewood to burn...

9. Strongly protest against the insertion of TV series during commercial breaks!

10. Even if God does not entrust me with any great responsibility, it will still tax my mind and my muscles...

11. When I have no money, I eat wild vegetables at home; when I have money, , eating wild vegetables in the hotel...

12. My principle is: I will not offend others unless they offend me; if they offend me, I will get angry!

13. People will always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.

14. Occasionally, you will feel happy if you are silent for a while, but it will be miserable if you are silent for a while...

15. The generation gap is--I asked my dad: " What do you think of "Chrysanthemum Terrace"? "Dad thought about it and said: "I haven't drunk it before!"

16. You are not good at first glance, but it is better to take a closer look.

17. You can’t eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man is eaten in one bite!

18. A woman who knows a little about a man ends up becoming his wife, and a woman who knows everything about a man ends up becoming an old woman.

19. While God gave us youth, he also gave us acne.

20. If something goes wrong, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

21. I was also an infatuated person back then, but it rained... and I drowned.

22. Money is not everything, sometimes a credit card is needed.

23. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

24. I hope to one day be able to double-click my wallet with the mouse, select a hundred dollar bill, press "ctrl c", and then "ctrl v" repeatedly.

25. People are afraid of being famous as pigs are afraid of being strong, men are afraid of being poor and women are afraid of being fat.

26. If being rich is also a mistake, I would rather make the same mistake again and again.

27. If marriage is the tomb of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

28. Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try several times on surrounding trees.

29. Everyone has at least one dream and a reason to be strong.

30. Mature people don’t ask about the past, smart people don’t ask about the present, and open-minded people don’t ask about the future.

31. Love is like two people holding a rubber band. The one who gets hurt is always the one who is unwilling to let go!

32. If the heart has no place to rest, it will wander wherever it goes!

33. After meeting me, you will suddenly discover: It turns out that being handsome can be so specific!

34. If you didn’t study when you were a child, your mother said: “When you grow up, you will be married to the pork seller Wang Laowu.” Now I educate my daughter: “Study hard and you will be able to marry the pork seller Wang Laowu when you grow up.” Five. ”

35. I ordered two dishes from the canteen at noon. When I ate the first one, I was shocked: Is there anything more delicious than this in the world? I cried after eating the second one: It really does exist!

36. Cherish life--If God lets you live, he must have his arrangements.

37. If you take a step back from work, the sky will be brighter; if you take a step back from love, the sky will be empty.

38. We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

39. Mom said it’s best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

40. If a man doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a woman is too realistic. If a woman doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a man is too carefree.

41. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.

42. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, please be careful not to get hit.

43. Look into my eyes, and in addition to eye drops, you will see perseverance and sincerity.

44. I will definitely be reincarnated as a woman in my next life, and then marry a man like me.

45. Sleep is an art - no one can stop me from pursuing art!

46. Not only do I own a car, I also drive my own car.

47. There was gold under a man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t even find a piece of copper!

48. If you see a shadow in front of you, don’t be afraid, it’s because there is sunshine behind you!

49. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

50. What’s the use of being “handsome”! In the end, he was eaten by a "pawn"!

51. The four great tragedies in life: a drop of sweet rain after a long drought; meeting an old friend in a foreign land, a creditor; a night of flowers and candles in the wedding room, next door; dreaming when the gold medal is named.

52. Love is like playing basketball, there is offense, defense, and sometimes fake moves!

53. I stayed in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: if all the coins were heads, I went to class. After hesitating for a long time, I decided not to take the risk.

54. A successful husband has more money than his wife can spend, and a successful wife finds such a husband.

55. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have human thoughts. If a pig had a human mind, it wouldn't be a pig - it would be Bajie!

56. There is a monkey in the zoo that is so ugly that everyone vomits when he sees it. One day I went and I vomited; one day you went and the monkey vomited.

57. Others spend money and money, but I spend money and money.

58. A long time ago, lies and truth were bathing by the river. Lies were washed first and left wearing the clothes of truth, but truth refused to wear clothes of lies. Later, in people's eyes, there were only lies dressed in real clothes, but it was difficult to accept the naked truth.

59. Roses are yours; chocolates are yours; diamonds are yours; you are mine.

60. In a threesome, there must be my master; among the three swordsmen, one must be strong; in a love triangle, one must be injured.

61. When men have no money, they hate women for being tacky; when they have money, they hate women for being tacky.

62. I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

63. I can’t play chess, calligraphy and painting, and I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking.

64. I have been sad and shed tears, and I have been heartbroken. This is the price of "two".

65. You will never see the time when I love you the most, because I love you only when I can’t see you. Likewise, you can never see me when I am loneliest, because I am loneliest only when you cannot see me.

66. What makes you tired is not the mountains in the distance, but the grain of sand in your shoes!

67. Driving is not difficult, just worry about new people.

68. Happiness means scratching an itch when you feel itchy. Unlucky means being itchy but not being able to scratch it. What’s even more unfortunate is that for a long time, neither the soul nor the body can feel the itch that is about to itch.

69. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn I harvested many handsome boys. Then I changed the name of the village to "Handsome Guys

Village", and I got my wish. Became the village chief.

70. Women are divided into two types: those who are married and those who are not married, and men are divided into two types: those who marry voluntarily and those who are forced to marry.

71. Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

72. Mistakes are temporary regrets, while misses are permanent regrets.

73. Economists say: only the flow of funds will increase value. Later I discovered that it was my funds that were flowing and other people’s funds that were increasing in value.

74. I will be good friends with anyone who says I am fair, thin, and beautiful.

75. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting inside the toilet or waiting outside the toilet.

76. Once I saw my second uncle buying vegetables, I blurted out: "Second vegetables, uncle is buying food?" The second uncle said: "It's such a big statement, even a person can't say it.

”

77. Are you bored at work? Toss a coin and play. If heads go online, tails go to sleep. If it’s upright, work hard. If it’s tilted, work hard. If it breaks, apply for overtime. If two coins fall out, Then throw it every day!

78. When I was a kid, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome guy", and I couldn't understand it. Then my classmate took out a mirror for me. Oh, suddenly I understood!

79. Comrades: Don’t speculate in stocks. The risk is too great. It is safest to make tofu - if it is hard, it is dried tofu, if it is thin, it is tofu brain, if it is thin, it is tofu skin, and it is gone. It’s soy milk, but it’s stinky tofu when it stinks.

80. The ideal of life is the ideal life.

81. Men deepen their friendship because of tobacco and alcohol. Complaints make friendship deeper.

82. When you love someone, you need to understand and forgive; you need to apologize and thank you; you need to admit and correct your mistakes; you need to be considerate and considerate; you need to accept rather than endure. It is tolerance rather than connivance; it is support rather than dominance; it is condolences rather than questioning; it is confiding rather than accusation; it is unforgettable rather than forgotten; it is communicating with each other rather than explaining everything; it is silently praying for each other rather than asking each other many things.

83. Don’t force a man to lie, he will hate you; don’t take his words seriously, you will hate him.

84. One day Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He kept crying and crying... and finally it sprouted...

85. When a man deceives a woman, it is called flirting; when a woman deceives a man, it is called seduction; when men and women deceive each other, it is called love.

< p>86. “Why do people have two ears? Grandma said: "You can go in through one ear and out through the other." If the light can't get in and out, it can't be installed. ”

87. Let everything take its course, be calm when encountering difficulties, be calm when you are proud, and be calm when you are frustrated.

88. Before others, treat them as human beings; Next, treat yourself as a human being.

89. If you are still impulsive, it means you are still passionate about life; if you are always impulsive, it means you do not understand life.

90. The true meaning of a job is not to always have food in one place, but to have food wherever you go throughout your life.

91. Once you close your eyes, once you open them, the day will pass. Once you close your eyes, there will be no more. Open it and a lifetime will pass.

92. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, he killed all his students in the end.

93. No. Let's eat pork and watch the pigs run away.

94. When paying wages, the accountant said to me: "You should get your salary once every six months. The change is too little now..."

95. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

96. What is more precious than gold is integrity; what is broader than the sea is tolerance. More noble than the mountains is morality.

97. A person may need very little in his life - a glass of water, a bowl of rice, and the words "I love you", but I hope: you pour the water and the rice. You did it, you said it to me personally.

98. Life is like a card game! It’s not about getting a good hand, but playing a bad hand. .

99. When you point your fingers at others, please don’t forget that your own three fingers are pointing at yourself.

100. Find a boyfriend who is like EXCEL. --Hide if you want, filter if you want, delete if you want. If I’m not happy, I won’t save it.

101. Love makes people forget time. Time also makes people forget about love.

102. Sleeping is for working hard, and working is for sleeping.

103. If you want to succeed, you should use perseverance as your good friend and experience. Be a counselor, use caution as a brother, and use hope as a sentinel.

104. A man without money is like a dish lacking some taste. Warm reminder: Too much salt is not good for physical and mental health.

105. My current dreams determine my future. So I’d better sleep a little longer.

106. Many years ago, there was a rainbow after the storm.

107. Nostalgia - not because of how good that era was, but because you were young at that time.

108. I went to the hospital for a physical examination and passed by the facial features department. After careful examination, the doctor wrote "handsome" on my physical examination form