1. The world is sick, and what’s even worse is that I have to support it.

2. If you are single, you should not go out when the road is icy in winter, because if you fall down, it will freeze into... broken ice.

3. My personality is lazy, my hobby is playing, my specialty is eating, and my skill is sleeping

4. Which is more important, the wife or the game? Of course, my wife is more important, so I only dare to play games, not my wife.

5. When I woke up in the morning, I saw the person in the mirror and shouted: "Wow, who is this beauty? She looks like a flower."

6. I am so stupid, You said you would love me forever, but I forgot to ask, is it this life or the next life?

7. What is a friend? Even if you put 500 yuan on the table, you won't lose it. But when you put a bag of melon seeds back, there will only be a pile of skins left.

8. This is a magical era. Elementary school students call themselves gods and demons, junior high school students call themselves me and I, high school students call themselves brother and grandpa, and college students call themselves babies.

9. After the haircut, the barber asked how it was. I was silent for a while and said: As long as you are happy.

10. Please don’t give me a playful smile when I call you by your full name, because I am serious.

11. The dead vines and old trees are full of crows, the school food is too poor, and the classmates are starved to death. The sun sets, well I want to go home.

12. Grandpa said that in their time, when they encountered a question they couldn’t solve in the exam, they would write “Long live Chairman Mao” and no one would dare to cross it.

13. Every woman is looking for a man, but in the end, she discovers that the most manly person is herself.

14. In the next life, I want to be a dandelion, free from worries, desires and demands, walking in the wind, calm and peaceful.

15. Before I drank, I belonged to Shenyang, and after drinking, Shenyang belonged to me.

16. Every time you finish your homework and sit at your desk to sort out the materials, it feels like you have just finished broadcasting the news broadcast.

17. The girl I love has round breasts. If I touch her big butt, she will call me a hooligan.

18. The boy at that station was quite handsome, so I walked up to him, grabbed his potato chips and ran away.

19. If you are born with beauty, why should you be bright? If you are born with delicious food, why should you be fat? If you are born with bangs, why should you be born with strong wind? If you are born with me, why not be born with my partner.

20. If you are good, I may consider not slapping your butt and touching your breasts! Young man, you don’t even have five dollars, do you?

A bastard married a wife. On their wedding night, they asked: Which man am I? After hearing this, the woman looked at the wall and said nothing. Men know it's rude to apologize. The woman said, don't interrupt, I'm counting, and the man suddenly fainted!

When school just started, a girl transferred from the middle school next door. She was quite beautiful. The teacher asked her to go to the podium to introduce herself. The girl walked up to the podium and said: Hello everyone, my name is Yuan Jiao. I am 17 years old. Thank you all. I burst out laughing as soon as I heard the name, and the teacher glared at me: "Maipiyan, why are you laughing?" I...

My daughter is three years old, and my wife came home from the night shift last night to have lunch together! ——Wife: Honey, did you watch TV last night? My daughter looked at me and asked: Dad, did I watch TV last night? Me (hesitating for 3 seconds): No! Daughter: No! Mom~Wife: Well~Humph, you two are so treacherous~

I remember a few years ago when I was walking on the road, I met an old fortune teller. At that time, he stopped me and insisted on telling me my fortune. Asked him: "Can it be counted as anything?" The old gentleman replied confidently: "Yes, anything can be counted as five yuan." Me: "Then do you think I have money in my pocket now?" After hearing this, the old gentleman He stared at me for a long time and asked me with a weird look on his face: "Young man, you don't even have five dollars, do you?" Mad, I really didn't have any at that time. . . . .

The reporter once again went to interview Penguin and asked you what you do every day now. Penguin: eat, sleep, and play beans! Ask the second one, the third one...the answer is the same. When it came to the last one, the reporter said: You are Doudou, and the penguin slapped the reporter in the face. Crying and saying, I am Juejue. . . Juejue. . . .

When I was a child, I was digging in the yard and unexpectedly dug out an antique, well-sealed jar. I thought it was gold and silver treasures left by my ancestors, but when I opened it, I found that there was modern money inside. . . I handed the money to my mother, but was beaten by my father. . .

I heard from a friend that when he was in college, a boy with a low EQ finally met a girl he liked, and they just started dating. Once the girl was sick, the boy accompanied her to the infirmary for a drip. Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and there was no movement. The boy wanted to break the silence, so he asked: "Is it cold?" Girl: "Cold". Boy: "It's cold. Can I cover it for you?" The girl blushed and whispered "Okay". Then the boy stood up...and covered the drip bottle with his hand.

I went to a drugstore to buy anti-inflammatory medicine and saw a girl weighing herself on the scale at the door. Her boyfriend stepped on her behind while she wasn't paying attention. The girl looked at the displayed results and was obviously stunned for a moment. She turned around and hugged her boyfriend. She actually started crying...crying...

When I was in high school, I made a bet with my classmate. The bet was to help each other make meals. He lost on the first day and helped me pack food, giving me at least half a catty of rice! Then he said no food was wasted! I'm a girl, I'm hurt. The next day I lost, he laughed and said, go ahead and fight, I’m not afraid! I can eat as much as I want! So I rushed to be the last one in line before the food truck left, and only gave him a mouthful of food.

A monk came to the canteen and bought a bottle of shampoo and two cans of beer. My friend was curious and asked the monk: After wine and meat pass through the intestines, the Lord Buddha will keep it in his heart. Master, you don’t need this shampoo, right? Monk: Oh, this is what my wife uses. My friend sighed in his heart, the master is the master!

My dad called and said something happened to my sister. I hurried home and saw my sister sitting on the sofa with her head down and crying. My mother’s eyes were also red. I quickly asked my dad what was wrong, and he said: "Your sister has deleted your mom's Happy Game, and your mom has already reached level 500!" Guys talk about getting married: It's so cheap to get married now, and you can get me for only 9 yuan Please tell me

1. Nuo Xiao: I’m not the one to get married. You’re just my outdated toy.

2. I may get married when I first fall in love. After all, there is no such thing as love. People love

3. I have delusions and I always see you smiling at me after we got married

4. My sister got married today but did not get the blessings of my parents but I hope my sister is happy.

5. I hope those couples in school will always talk about getting married.

6. On the 34th day of our relationship, I accompanied him to Zhanjiang to work pennilessly. will get married, but now I just want to accompany him through the most difficult days

7. My sister will get married tomorrow, I wish her happiness

8. Baby and Xiaoming are getting married. I feel sorry for Zheng Kai and Li Feier.

9. There is a kind of happiness that calls us to get married

10. He is 22 now, and he will be the one to get married in two years. As for you, I still have studies, and You have dreams, you still have youth, and you still have parents, right?

11. When the baby got married, only Kaikai did not post on Weibo to wish her well.

12. If you get married earlier than me, you must tell me and I will quietly block you and bless you

13. "I hope the person I marry will be me when I am seventeen." I fell in love with you at the age of 14”

14. Even if you get married tomorrow, I will not be willing to do so

15. Baby Huang Xiaoming is married! What should Zheng Kai do?

16. Today he sent me a recording of his song "Let's Get Married". I cried and was really moved. We have been dating for more than a year and I believe we will wait until that day.

17. I want to be his marriage partner

18. We will get married when we are old enough to be together.

19. I am thinking about you when you are tired of playing. Or I just want to meet you again when I want to get married

20. When you get married, you must give me an invitation, okay? I want to see what kind of gentle girl can fulfill my dream of marrying you.

21. He said: If you can come to my place now, then we can go back and get married at the end of the year, but he knows that I can’t.

22. I told my ex that I don’t want to meet him in the next life, but that’s not what I think in my heart. I still love him, but he is married.

23. The baby and Huang Xiaoming are married, what should Zheng Kai do?

24. I always say that I will never get married in the future just because I am afraid of not being able to 99

25. I wish I could wait until your wedding day

26. Let’s date online . Married

27. It’s very cheap to get married now. It only costs 9 yuan. I’ll ask you to do it.

28. I hope that the person I marry in a few years will be you who I fell in love with when I was a teenager.

29. "I'm getting married, will you come to my wedding?" "Of course I will go, how will you get married if the groom doesn't come?"

30. Zheng Kai protected The person who has been together for so long finally got married. The copywriting of Stingy Brother’s 52-yuan red envelope in Moments

1. The husband who sends red envelopes to his wife can be said to be the cutest husband.

2. Come, come, let’s not talk nonsense, the Spring Festival is just around the corner. Burn a bouquet of fireworks to bring good luck to you; open a red envelope to bring happiness to you; say a blessing to bring family joy to you; send a text message to bring you true love and friendship.

3. There is a friend who has done nothing since the New Year’s Eve dinner but only grabbed red envelopes. The results are as follows:.

4. I received a red envelope from my boyfriend and felt very happy... I love you, hmm.

5. I received the gift, and the little fox is so cute! When my nails grow a little longer, I can print the little fox.

6. I am grateful for the red envelope you gave me. Thank you, friend.

7. There are no gifts on Valentine’s Day this year, only a red envelope of 1,314 yuan.

8. Although I was really fooled by the hairdresser today, I still feel great after receiving the gift.

9. The Spring Festival has just passed, and the Lantern Festival is here again; are you still missing the joy of receiving red envelopes during the Spring Festival, and are you still savoring the happiness of being reunited with your loved ones? I will send you another text message to wish you a happy feeling. I'll knock you out! Wish you happiness and sweetness! The future is bright!

10. I may not be your best employee, but you are my most respected leader. Happy holidays!

11. Although the amount of the red envelope you sent is very small, it at least proves your sincerity.

12. I woke up early in the morning and received red envelopes from my husband and daughter. My husband had already made dumplings in the kitchen. The dumplings were delicious, but the wrapper was a bit thick, as thick as a steamed bun wrapper. I Euphemistically called: Fortune Dumplings!

13. Dear Banban Jiang! I received all the gifts and red envelopes! So happy! Thank you.

14. No matter what happens in the future, I want to thank you, thank you for coming into my life and bringing beauty and happiness!

15. I feel very happy when I received a red envelope from my daughter... I love you, okay...

16. I haven’t contacted you for a long time and you know that I am in such a difficult situation. If you want to buy something, send me a red envelope

17. Just imagine, if it weren’t for this incident, I wouldn’t understand many things. Thank you for helping me.

18. I felt delayed heartache after receiving the gift, but it is very worthy of recognition that Fat Orange has a heart that is willing to spend money for me.

19. All over the body, credit card, bank card, Alipay, WeChat red envelope, balance 0. I will starve to death in the northwest wind.

20. A journey of a thousand miles is built on small steps; a ship of thousands of miles is built on a compass; thanks to the leadership’s daily guidance, I am where I am today. Happy New Year!