My friend, my task, ask if you don't understand, and adopt it as soon as possible.
Hou Yi lives alone in the mountains and rivers.
Dense autumn trees in dense fog
The canoe floated on the spring beam.
Go to Shanghai Kun after graduation.
Four northern islands, one thought and one swallow.
The newcomers are all experts, Chen.
At two o'clock, they are in Nanning.
A survey of several generations of emperors' old works
Among them is Chiang Kai-shek's former camp.
Beautiful meeting after dusk
Especially with a sword to meet a gentleman dragon.
Add people and mouths to add Ding He.
Miracles always come.
This woman belongs to a dog and is in awe.
Far away, I heard Yuan's ape.
The forest was covered with another inch of light.
The children raised money for the four modernizations.
Always generous
They like each other and are close to each other.
The beauty said goodbye with tears.
After Taihang entered Shaanxi land.
Eating hard, skill is art.
Willing to contribute to the world.
Unite to celebrate gay week
Zhang Shuangfan, hurry first, then be wise.
Brother and sister are separated for thirty days.
Very considerate, no one trusts you.
It's even sadder to recall it bit by bit.
Sweat at work.
Chu Shi West Lake is noble and clean.
Deposits have fallen sharply.
People who have changed their faces are fighting for the first place.
Old things don't raise poplars
Reclaim land and become pioneer silver
The duckling fluttered its wings and flew.
Songs come and go, the sun rises and Cao Cao rises.
Follow the party and never look back.
Cadres wear swords at waist level.
Yan Zhen and his team passed through the forest.
Four sides are United.
Heshun, Enron, no complaints, no intention.
Good relations between neighbors.
Men shine with their hearts.
The world-famous Emperor Taizong.
Confidence can be good for Wu in the sky
99 Chongyang drizzle Xie Bin
Spring breeze, Hueros, two lovers.
2. Ask for some funny sentences
1 Who in the world will suddenly get old? Answer: the bride. Because today is the bride, tomorrow is the wife. How much is a heart worth? Answer: 1 100 million. Because of singleness! How many English letters are there? Answer: 20. AIDS died, and ET flew away. 4 where can I never tell jokes? Answer: the seaside. Because telling jokes at the seaside will trigger a tsunami (sea laugh). How much do you need to bring when you go out in typhoon weather? Answer: 40 million. Don't go out because there is nothing to do in typhoon weather. 6. What books can't be read because the exam is coming? Answer: encyclopedia (encyclopedia loses all). 8 Why is the penguin's belly white? Answer: Because penguins' hands are too short, they can only wash their stomachs, not their backs. Why do babies born to healthy couples have no eyes? If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today? [Answer] Heaven occupies the position of 10. The fat girl is ill. What are you most afraid of when others come to see her? [Answer] Take care 1 1 Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of? A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.
Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand. 12 Question: What is the pencil surname? Answer: Xiao Reason: Sharpen (Xiao) a pencil.
13 question: what will Kirin become when it arrives at the north pole? Answer: ice cream. Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn).
14 Question: From 1 to 9, which number is the most diligent and which number is the laziest? Answer: 1 lazy; 2 reasons for working hard: 1 (1) Don't do 2 (2) Never stop. 15 question: how to make sparrows quiet? Answer: Click.
Reason: Silence (silence). 16 question: who runs fastest in history? Answer: Cao Cao's reason: Speak of the devil 17 Question: 30-50 is worse than bear shit! Answer: 40 Reason: Facts speak louder than words (18 Question: What should I do if the pigs in the pigsty run out? Answer: Wang Leehom's reason: coax 19 into the question: What should I do if I come out again? Answer: Han Hong's reason: He also coaxed 20 funny brain teasers-a bear without a tail is a tail bear and a bear without a penis is a bear. Answer: Mother Bear 2 1 has a funny brain teaser-September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of June 28th 10? Answer: Confucius Full Moon 22 funny brain teaser-Wolf is coming (guess)? Answer: carambola (sheep escape) 23 funny brain teaser-what would the world look like if Jiang Gong (Chiang Kai-shek) were still alive? Answer: One more person.
24 Funny brain teaser-Are there carp (four-word idiom) under these two pieces of ice? Answer: Politeness) 25 Funny brain teaser-Why does tofu hurt people? Answer: Because it is a funny brain teaser-an ant actually climbed from Sichuan to Tokyo, is it possible? Answer: Climb 27 funny brain teasers on the map-a bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why is Xiaoming okay? Answer: Because he is not in the car, he has a funny brain teaser-there is a place where he can go in and out. What is this place? Answer: Tomb 29 is a funny brain teaser-/kloc-the chicken and goose race in the 0/00 meter race. The chicken runs faster than the goose, but why does it reach the finish line later? Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction. 30. Interesting brain teaser ......................................................................................................................................................... answers: physical education class 3 1 is in the car. Funny brain teaser-why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand? Answer: The car is a taxi. 32 funny brain teaser-Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praises her math as one of the best. Why? Answer: From one to two, 33, funny brain teaser-what did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World? Answer: The other foot 34 is an interesting brain trick-people keep eating, but they can never get enough. Answer: Air 35 is a funny brain teaser-is there any way to make eyebrows grow under the eyes? Answer: handstand 36 is a funny brain teaser-what is the thing that makes everyone forget before going to bed? Answer: Close your eyes 37 funny brain teasers-some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why? Answer: Have you ever seen a cat with long eyes? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Answer: Age 39- Funny brain teaser-What kind of mountains and seas can move Answer: A sea of people 40 What has no tongue in its mouth Answer: Teapot mouth 4 1- Funny brain teaser. Answer: Xinlangguan 42 has a funny brain teaser-a policeman ran away when he saw the thief. Why? Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly. 43 funny brain teaser-Xiaoming eats gum every day, and others say he has bad breath. Why? A: He swears every day.
Funny brain teaser-Why can frogs jump higher than trees? Answer: Because he stood on the tree and jumped 45 "You stand with the pig", guess an animal answer: It takes six hours for the Elephant No.46 train to travel from Beijing to Shanghai. After three hours of exercise, where should the train be? Answer: On the train tracks, the 47-year-old Wang has to shave forty or fifty times a day and still has a beard on his face. What is the reason? Answer: Lao Wang is a barber. In the winter of 48, the baby was afraid of the cold and refused to take off his hat when he entered the house.
But he saw a man take off his hat obediently. Who is that man? Answer: Barber 49 What flowers can't be touched Answer: Spark 50 How long does it take to study at Peking University Answer: One second 5 1 What fruit can't be eaten? A policeman saw a thief. Why did he run away? Because he wanted to catch the thief quickly, 53 brothers with the same looks were enlisted at the same time. They are related by blood and have the same date of birth and parents' names. The company commander asked him if he was a twin.
They said no, why? A: There are two prisoners in Triplets 54 prison. One night, all the prisoners escaped, but the next day the guards opened the prison door and found another prisoner inside? A: The name of the fugitive is Du.
What can solve everything?
Give me a super funny joke.
Chinese teacher: In class, a classmate was reading a magazine, so I confiscated his magazine and hit him on the head.
But when I turned to continue the class, his deskmate actually laughed, and the class couldn't go on, so I asked him why he laughed. Do you know what he answered me? That boy took out a book from the drawer and said to me, "Teacher, it's a good thing you didn't find me reading, or you would kill me ~ ~" ... Math teacher: A classmate who never failed in a unit exam can actually use his high school knowledge in his homework.
I asked him if he did this homework by himself, and the classmate actually replied that I didn't know. Tell me, that's more like it I kept asking him to tell me honestly who helped him. Well, he had reason to answer me: "Teacher, I really don't know who did this homework. To be honest, I went to bed early last night.
Physics teacher: Do you know how many classes I have taught, one clockwise and the other counterclockwise? Five classes! Yes, that's what I told them. I told them to look at their watches if they didn't understand. Clockwise hands are clockwise wherever they go, and vice versa. However, the whole class used to count, either mobile phones or electronic watches.
If I don't resign, I will teach them these two words for a semester. PE teacher: Why don't I quit? Those boys gave me presents! ! No, it's right to give gifts. I'm not saying that they gave me a wrong gift, but that they gave me a wrong gift.
I'm getting confused. Let's just say that although I'm a little thin and my skin is a little white, I'm still a male teacher, right? But a few days ago, on Women's Day, those boys actually gave me a box of depilatory cream. Still, still, tell me not to wear woolen pants in summer, damn it, that's my leg hair! Biology teacher: I really don't want to go, but.
As you know, I have a heart attack and can't stand being excited, but can I not be excited? Yesterday's unit exam, according to the requirements of the syllabus, I asked the students to look at the bird legs in the teaching pictures and write down the names and living habits of birds.
But as soon as I said the content of the exam, a classmate stood up and walked out, muttering, "Shit, there is such a question, I won't take the exam." . "Do you think such students need education? I stopped him and asked him his name. He pulled up his trouser legs and showed them. He said to me, "Come, look at my legs and write my name.
"
Art teacher: You know, I have just been assigned to this class. Yesterday in class, I heard several students shouting "beauty" as soon as I entered the door. Do you find it irritating? I am a teacher. How can they be so rude? .. but it was wrong for me to resign because they called me "beauty", but when I was looking for someone to call me "beauty", those classmates yelled at me again, "What are you looking at, not calling you!" ....................................................................................................................................................... ...........................'s first classmate replied that she was not familiar with her, the second classmate replied that she was one of his net friends, and the third classmate said that he had her QQ number, so he could go to QQ to ask after class.
One classmate even took out his mobile phone and said to ask her out immediately! All the students answered loudly: the bank sells silver ... geography teacher: look at their papers this time. The top of the five famous mountains in China is Zhao Benshan, the most famous river is Pan Changjiang, China's "coal capital" is (black), and China's "iron capital" is (hard). How can I attend class? English teacher: When I was talking about independent structure, according to the requirements of the textbook, I specially taught them an example: "Our teacher came into the classroom with a book under his arm" (our teacher came into the classroom with a book under his arm), but during the exam, all the students translated it as "The teacher came into the classroom with a book under his leg".
..... Music teacher: I'm in class, demonstrating a song.
After singing, all the students applauded.
I am very happy. I'm thinking that other teachers may have wrong teaching methods. But they gave me a negative answer before I finished thinking about it. They shouted, "Teacher, that's great. Your ventriloquism is the best among all the teachers. This is the first time we have heard such a duckling! " .
4. Take some interesting sentences,
1. You told me to get out, and I got out. You asked me to come back. I'm sorry. I'm leaving.
2. Rogues are not terrible, just afraid of being educated.
3. Go the way of Niu B, and let the silly B speak!
It's not difficult to drive, I'm afraid there will be new people!
Wear other people's shoes and go your own way, let others find shoes!
6. The mine disaster continues in the review, and the property price rises under control!
7.XP is not arrogant, you think I am DOS!
8. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!
Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! !
10. People are not smart, and they are as bald as others! ! !
1 1. Don't call me if it's okay, let alone something.
12. It is better to fight with smart people than to talk to * * *.
13. Chopin is no matter how good, I can't play Lao Tzu's sadness!
14. As long as the hoe jumps well, there is a corner that cannot be dug down?
15. Even believe in advertisements. You must be stupid to study!
16. If you want to wander the rivers and lakes, you'd better be single! ! !
17. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.
18. Can't sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!
19. Women please themselves, men please themselves, and they are poor!
20. Bald donkey, dare to challenge the original class teacher?
2 1. Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.
22. Only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find!
23. Earn other people's money and go to hell with poverty!
24. I even believe that there is a lie hidden in the middle.
25. Money is not a problem, but no money!
26. Pregnancy is just like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to see it.
I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit.
28. People can't hang themselves from a tree, but try to die several times in a nearby tree.
29. Take other people's road and drive others to the wall.
30. You can go as far as you want.
3 1. The donkey has read it again and again.
32. Go to Google and Baidu.
33. You think I will watch you die! I can only close my eyes.
34. Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?
35. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!
When I woke up, it was already dark.
37. Nothing money can solve is a problem.
38. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?
39. How much sorrow can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.
40. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card.
4 1. I allow you to walk into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.
42. People are afraid of being famous pigs and being strong, while men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.
43. cherish your life. If God keeps you alive, you must have his plan.
44. The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their own salary.
45. Love is like poop, once the water is washed, it will never come back ~ Love is like poop, and it can't stop after it comes ~ Love is like poop, but it's different every time ~ Love is like poop, and sometimes it's just a fart after a long effort!
46. In the past, hooligans were in the mountains, but now hooligans are in the public security!
47. Not necessarily an angel with wings, but sometimes a birdman.
48. If you stand tall, you will pee far.
49. Do you eat with this mouth?
50. I will slap you out.
5 1. It is forbidden to urinate here, and the tools for committing crimes will be confiscated.
You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!
53. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money!
54, an instant hit, is to describe female artists!
5. Ask for jokes that can make the whole class laugh
My son sleeps with his mother every night.
Mom said: when you grow up, you marry a daughter-in-law and sleep with your mother? A: Yes. Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father.
After hearing this, Dad said excitedly, "This child has been sensible since childhood, and his brother has been constipated. He can't be comfortable in the toilet for long. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. No sooner had I entered than there was a real storm. My brother said to his buddy enviously, "My buddy envies you." The buddy said, "What do you envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ~ ~ I once played mahjong on a hot day and suddenly the power went out. Another man said, "You can't open it. An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring the jungle. They will blow out the candles.
As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "
The American was the first to be hit by the board. He said, "Give me 1 mat before touching the board."
Mats, boards rained down; The previous 70 boards are ok. The cushion behind the 70 board was smashed, and then the board was bloody ... After the fight, the United States went all the way. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress.
After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted * * *, nothing; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come, give me the Japanese mat."
... a brother went to the bathroom and ended up in the ladies' room by mistake. When I went in, I found that there was no urinal, and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the ladies' room. He walked out casually.
When I opened the door, I met a mm who came in and met him face to face. He blushed and hung his head. He turned and went to the men's room all day. There are too many people on the bus, which is extremely hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted, but the environment is getting worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it
It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" " A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. Publicly soliciting names from off-campus students, many people's slogans coincide-reading is a bird's best! Bicycles in school are lost seriously, and the new ones disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will reappear every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, a roommate, bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days! A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again.
He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride! There are three tadpoles. They go to a restaurant for dinner. After waiting for a while, the first course was served.
This is a fried frog .. Three tadpoles sing in unison: I don't want to grow up. One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei.
Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you should go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put their fruits in * * *, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed.
After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes, and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu began to jam. When the third one was blocked, Guan Yu suddenly smiled. As a result, the grapes were smashed to death again.
After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I got to the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian. "Yesterday, I went to eat KFC. The man behind me looks like a couple. They ordered a lot of food and sat next to me.
After sitting down, the girls began to eat hard, as if they were hungry for several days, while the boys chewed French fries one by one, as if they had something on their mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" "The girl didn't look up, just said," no! The boy asked again, "Is this impossible?" The girl simply said, "Not at all!" The boy froze, looked at her and stayed there ... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, thinking that the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, and then looked at the boy with a bad eye and whispered, "Hmm ... can I still eat?" Everyone around me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy said helplessly, "Eat, eat …" This MM is so cute.
If I don't let you chase, I must chase. . Chase hard! ! ! ! I've been fidgeting at school. I taught myself for the first time when I was a freshman. I was so depressed sitting in the classroom that I immediately ran to the aisle to smoke.
Not long after I lit a cigarette, a girl from PL came over and asked me, "I'm studying by myself now! How did you get out? " I said, I'm bored to go out and smoke, MM which class are you in? How also ran out. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class! At that time, I was so excited to say, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed? She said: well, a freshman in our class ran out from self-study and I came out to find him.
I smiled, it seems that someone still can't sit still. What do you want from him? You're not his mother! MM: I can't help it I'm his head teacher! I was cheated at that time ... A minute later, I choked out a sentence: Teacher, you look so young ... After Phelps won eight gold medals, how did countries compete in breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly and freestyle? 100、200、400、 1500。
6. Ask for the names of some funny people
The music teacher is called organ, the bodybuilding teacher is called Chen Yaling, and the boiler heat treatment major is called Wu Yanmei.
* There is a school doctor named Duan Zhen in the school doctor's office of my middle school. We don't go to see her for an injection.
* I know a Zhu Yiqun and a Yang Yizhi.
* Wu Baoan-driver.
* When I was in junior high school, the dean of the school was called Jiao Hougen, whose pronunciation was exactly the same as that of "heel" in Suzhou dialect.
* My brother's name is "Chen Cambridge" and my brother's name is "Chen Fudan", but neither of them went to high school.
There is a child named wisteria, which is a very elegant name, but his father's surname is Du.
* A few years ago, a colleague of mine was very idle. He rummaged through the phone book and found a man named Chen Bird and called him with his phone number. "Hello, I'm looking for Chen Bird." "I am!"
* A classmate named "Yan Fei" from Jiaotong University smiled at the beginning of school. Later, it was renamed Fei. As a result, everyone who didn't laugh this time fell down.
* I have a patient named Manager Tian who is actually laid off.
* I have a classmate, an electrician, named Pang Guangda.
* A friend named Li, who passed on stories for three generations, won a son. After months of hard thinking, he won the first prize: Li Gen.