Seeing this question, as I have been drifting in the North for five years, I am very happy to answer this question. I am sure that I have not been urged. Maybe my situation is different from others. I joined Beipiao after marriage, because my husband chose to work in Beijing after graduation. At that time, in my imagination and that of my family, I thought Beijing was a particularly good metropolis with many famous scenic spots, but in real life, Beipiao was not as glamorous as expected, and there was a lot of sadness and helplessness. So I never report good news but not bad news, telling them that I am all right, lest they worry. The following video is my personal thoughts and feelings.

Hello, everyone. I am Xiaoqiang, a programmer from Beipiao. I have been in Beijing for five years, and my family hasn't urged me to go back to my hometown in these years. Because Beijing's salary is higher than my hometown, I may not earn much money after I go back. It is also difficult to take the civil service exam, and I can't adapt to it when I go back. What a worldly experience and wine table culture. Very serious!

In fact, my parents didn't urge me to go home. Since I had my own goals, I resolutely abandoned everything at home alone. From the day I came to Beijing to dream, they never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do, because my parents would actually be sensible one day, and this day came because we really grew up as children, and we had to be seen by our parents to gain their trust.

In fact, as long as you are firm enough and know what you want, communicate with them well, and then show your ability, your parents won't rush you. Maybe because you are still a child in their eyes and don't have enough ability to support yourself, they always rush you home.

Have you been pushed back to your hometown by your parents?

according to the real case, I am the one who was driven back to my hometown.

At that time, I was working in an environmental protection company in Beijing, and I felt that my income was ok, but I just couldn't afford to buy a house, and the rent was particularly expensive. It was impossible to live a decent life.

I came from the countryside and went to Beijing to work hard. It looks really decent, but my life is very hard. At that time, my parents often urged me to get married and go home. I said it was not realistic to get married now in Beijing, because I couldn't afford a house and couldn't give girls happiness, so I missed several marriages.

So, after a few years of persistence, I still can't stop "life is more than just the present" and chose to give up Beijing and return to my hometown.

Actually, there are reasons why your parents urged you to come back. In my situation at that time, my parents had the following considerations:

First, they wanted to have grandchildren as soon as possible when they were older. Even if you have a hundred mouths, it's hard to justify this. It doesn't make sense at all. In fact, people their age are their social circle. When people in this social circle are holding grandchildren, they simply can't sit still. And even if few of their friends have grandchildren, they feel that they should have grandchildren at this age, and that their age is a good time to take care of their grandchildren, and it will be too late after this period. At the same time, they can't see each other on the surface. In fact, they are proud of who has grandchildren first, so that if they don't have grandchildren, they seem to be unable to hold their heads in the circle of friends of the same age. This is the most troublesome point, no matter how you say it, it doesn't make sense.

second, they thought I was unhappy at that time. When I was in Beijing, almost every time I called, I didn't say that I was not doing well. I always reported good news instead of bad news. I always said that I had a good life there, don't worry, earn more money and so on. But when parents understand that when their children always report good news but not bad news, it means that they are not doing well. Maybe every time I go back, compared with my peers, I don't have a family and look like a child, which always makes them uneasy. At the same time, every time I go home, I look very rich, which makes them feel that I am pretending to be unconfident. In fact, many parents will feel that their children will be decent and rich when they come back, and they will appear to have light on their faces and their children will be promising. But anyone who can see clearly knows that these are fake. Because of deception, it is very unnatural, except for drama.

Third, the children of neighbors have a decent job in their hometown. Many children from neighboring families are teachers and civil servants in the county, and their parents feel very decent. At this point, our parents almost unanimously believe that "civil servants, doctors and teachers are considered to have jobs, and others are unemployed", which makes me very broken. These occupations are also very strange. They can always have cars and houses in the county within a few years, and they are so decent that I have doubted this occupation. However, through chatting with several friends in the system, I understand that some of them have cars and houses soon after they go to work because of their stability, and bank loans can be tilted towards them. Various credit cards and credit loans give them the conditions to spend first and enjoy their lives, so they will have cars and houses. Of course, if they have a rich family, they will say another thing. However, their houses will not be too big and their cars will not be very good. After all, they are all ahead of consumption.

In a word, my parents urged me to go back to my hometown at that time, mainly for these reasons, as well as their care problems, illness and death, inadaptability to life in big cities, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the problems of seven aunts and eight aunts, so they tied me back to my hometown.

In fact, when I came back, I found that although the salary was not so high, the house price dropped, the living expenses were not so complicated, the noodles with 5 yuan were enough to eat, and the success rate of blind date was also high, so it depends on your attitude towards your life. If you want to break into a world, there are definitely plenty of opportunities in Beijing. If you want to think more about your family, coming back is also a good choice.

if you could choose again, would you choose to stay in your hometown or go to a big city to work hard? "

Every Spring Festival, this topic can't be avoided at class reunion. Everyone often falls into the yearning for "another life"-students in their hometown envy the opportunities and dreams in big cities, and we also envy their comfort in having a house and a car in a small city.

My friend Yang Yu (a pseudonym) worked as a nurse in a hospital in Beijing for eight years. After eight years of wandering, she has no house, no car, no Beijing hukou and no object. In 217, she decided to clear her life. On April 15, 217, she bought a one-way train ticket and returned to her hometown, a small county in Shaanxi.

her life was reopened. For more than half a year, she lived a life of frequent blind dates and eating fake hamburgers. Occasionally, I will miss the days when I went running in the Olympic Park after work, and the youth who stayed in Beijing.

(The following is Yang Yu's dictation. )

"I thought I would mix a world in Beijing"

One week before I left Beijing, I had a farewell dinner every day and said goodbye to all kinds of friends. Go back to the dormitory at night and pack your bags alone. After eight years of possessions, four big boxes and more than 1 yuan were sent home, I had nothing to do with this city.

The day I left Beijing was April 15th, 217. The 6: 5 p.m. bus. My friends took me to the station. A colleague and good friend of mine cried her eyes out. She advised me not to go. She said that the education and medical conditions in Beijing are better than those in her hometown, and you will definitely regret it in the future. I told her that it was my choice, and I thought about it and didn't regret it.

I tried not to cry. After parting, when we arrived at the ticket gate, tears brushed and flowed. It is false to say that you are not sad. After all these years, all my friends are here. I am reluctant, unwilling and a little helpless. But I know that I don't miss the city, but the people and my friends in it.

When the train started, it seemed that the scene of coming to Beijing for the first time in the summer of 29 was still in sight. I have never been far away. I studied in the province at the university. I came to Beijing for an internship during my sophomore summer vacation. It was the first time in my life to take a train. Fortunately, I went to a military hospital for an internship, and someone picked me up at the station and arranged accommodation. I watched Beijing in the car, with traffic and people coming and going, as if everything was fresh.

When I was young, I didn't want to stay at home. I always felt that the outside world was beautiful. The world seems to be unfolding under my feet. I told myself that I would become a head nurse and director of nursing department in the future. I'm still thinking about whether to take the college entrance examination, get a master's degree and get a doctor's degree. I thought I would get mixed up in Beijing. Unexpectedly, I finally came back.

after the internship, I have the opportunity to stay in this hospital. In the first few years, I had a very happy time. I live in a dormitory, and I have never suffered from moving. I am much happier than many Beipiao. I'm busy at work. When I'm on vacation, I go running in the Olympic Park near my work, or I read books at home, or I go to the suburbs of Beijing with seven or eight close friends.

the turning point happened in 215, when I was 26 years old. I was forced to get married. For a time, my parents gave an ultimatum by phone every day-either go home quickly or find someone quickly.

"People's dilemma seems to be all-round"

It may be the age crisis or the nagging of my parents. When I was alone, I began to worry about my personal problems.

my relatives, friends and colleagues all introduced me to my date. I hope to find a partner with a Beijing hukou. It's not how demanding I am, just for the convenience of children going to school in the future and being able to take the college entrance examination in Beijing.

but when you criticize others, others criticize you. What I don't like most is that when someone is dating, there are three ultimate questions: Do you have a Beijing hukou? Do you have a house? Is there an establishment or a contract worker? Once, I went to see a blind date, and before I started eating, the other party threw out these three questions. I felt embarrassed, said "eat slowly" and ran away. On the way back, I thought, I don't have a Beijing hukou, a house, or a contract worker, so I don't deserve love?

people's plight seems to be all-round. I began to realize the problem of living in Beijing. Let's just say a house. I can't afford it. I have a colleague who got married to buy a house. I think this kind of marriage is bad. This is not called "marriage", it is called "house partner".

Many colleagues who have bought houses are not comfortable. Every month, the salary in the early 1 thousand, seven or eight thousand dollars will be used to pay off the mortgage.

at the beginning of 217, I thought about these things after work, and my head ached. Sometimes I say to myself, why are you jumping around? It's good to go home. If nothing else, at least I can eat noodles cooked by my mother every day. If anything happens to my parents, I can take care of them in time. Besides, I'm only 28, and I'm not too old. If I drag on, maybe one day, I won't even have this retreat in my hometown.

"I look forward to a comfortable life"

After several months, I decided to go home. I got a job as a nurse in a hospital in my hometown.

when I first came back, I was really not used to it. Beijing is so big that it takes an hour or two to drive around the Fifth Ring Road. My hometown is very small, from the southernmost to the northernmost, and from the easternmost to the westernmost, it is no more than 4 kilometers, and it can be walked in 4 minutes. As soon as I turned around, I felt the end.

After returning home, of course, the age anxiety has not been alleviated at all, and everyone around me got married early. There are 15 nurses in our department, all of whom were unmarried in 1995 and 1996. When I first entered the department, my colleagues asked me how old your baby was. I said, I'm not married. They looked at me in amazement as if I were a monster.

frequent blind dates are of course inevitable. Fortunately, I met several blind dates, all of whom were rebels of the concept of marriage and love in small counties, which made me very pleased. When we first met, I asked them why they were not married in their thirties. They said that they don't like the mode of getting married on blind date. They don't care about each other's work and family conditions, but only care about whether they can get along and have the same views.

after returning home, I also mastered the experience of "fighting" with my parents. In order to avoid their nagging, I quickly picked up a book as soon as I got home from work. This is a tacit understanding formed when I was a child. As long as I am reading, my mother won't bother me.

now that I think about it, my parents' generation is actually quite interesting. My father is a very rigid person, and I was forbidden to fall in love at school. When I was in high school, he wouldn't let me wear colorful clothes, and he followed me after school to see if I was talking to any boy. After work, I urged marriage every day, blaming me for not finding a partner. An article said, from prohibiting puppy love to frantically urging marriage, this is China parents' abnormal view of marriage and love. That makes perfect sense.

Now my wish is to get married quickly. After wandering for so many years, I found that I really longed for stability, and I looked forward to a comfortable life.

"Oh, forget it"

Coming back for more than half a year is like boiling a frog in warm water. I don't have any thoughts and expectations. In Beijing before, there were many young people around, and they were all working hard. In this atmosphere, I also wanted to study for a master's degree and a doctor's degree. When I got home, I thought, oh, forget it.

some people say that in big cities, hard work depends on ability, while in small cities, it depends on relationships. Even when patients come to see a doctor, it makes me laugh and cry. I've seen a patient come and say that the director of XX Bureau sent me and arranged a bed for me. I said, I don't know the director of XXX. If there is no bed, there is no bed. Please ask the director to bring you a bed.

it must be false to say that you have never regretted giving up drifting in the north and returning to your hometown. For example, when I pay my salary every month, I used to be in my early 1 thousand, but now I have 4 thousand dollars, so I will certainly be lost in my heart. There are also times when there are disputes with leaders at work. Once, I was a nurse in Beijing for so many years when I checked the standard procedures of intravenous injection in the hospital. I could complete the disinfection, needle injection, liquid medicine injection and needle withdrawal in three to five minutes. But the seniors in the nursing department insisted that I talk and do it according to the standard process, and it took almost half an hour. I think their ideas are too backward. Why don't I just go back to Beijing and suffer foreign crimes here? Now, after a long time, I am getting used to it.

I often ask myself, back in 29, will I go to Beijing again? If I had stayed in my hometown as soon as I graduated, I might have had a decent job like a civil servant, got married and had children, and, like girls of the same age, danced square dance when I had nothing to do, and lived a comfortable life. However, I also have to admit that those eight years of drifting in the North were an important asset in my life-I saw a world that people in small counties have never seen in their lives, and I also had many different experiences and ideas, and the whole person was full of atmosphere.

people are like this. When they are young, they don't like staying at home. They think there are many possibilities in life and the outside world is wonderful. When I grow up, I find that the outside world is also helpless. It is also a happy thing to set up my own family, accompany my children to grow up and my parents get old.

dad doesn't hurry, but mom does.

Now, after , after 9, I entered the society. When I was 2-26 years old, my family didn't rush me. Instead, my father encouraged me not to go back. Even now I am 28, my father didn't mention going home.

On the contrary, my mother broke her heart and inquired about others of the same age in Beijing.