In a person's life, we will inevitably encounter times when we cannot control our emotions at the time. Often, we lose control at that time, resulting in consequences that we do not want to see. So we have to pay attention to our emotions at any time, so how should we manage our emotions? If negative emotions persist, it will have a negative impact on an individual's physical and mental health, interpersonal relationships, or daily life. Let’s learn with me what aspects of emotional management are important.

What is the importance of emotional management?

The importance of emotional management: diverting attention

When my mood is at a low ebb, I always think about those sad things. When I am no longer interested in anything, I will first try to stop myself from thinking about these issues and divert my attention. Because now that it has become a fact, try to accept it and face the reality. One person cannot change the whole world, things will not change because of you. All we can do is adapt to the world. The so-called natural selection of things, survival of the fittest, if you want to be happy, you must first make yourself less extreme and not go to extremes. Don't always be dissatisfied with the real life situation, and don't always compare yourself with others. Your own life is unique and wonderful.

The Importance of Emotional Management: Learn Tolerance

Tolerance is a virtue, a salvation for those who make mistakes, and a sublimation of one's own soul. Don't always think about how the other person offended you or how much harm or loss it caused you. Think about whether the other person deserves your anger. Is he doing it on purpose or unintentionally? How does he treat you on weekdays? Giving the other person a chance is giving yourself a chance. For some people, forgiveness is far more effective than punishment. Maybe it was just a momentary mistake, maybe it was just a passing thought. People always make mistakes, so don't be too harsh on them.

Perhaps it is for friendship, perhaps for love, or perhaps for family affection. You must look at others from a developmental perspective, especially those you love. Maybe you can't tolerate some of the other person's faults. If you love the other person, give him a chance to change. However, while we are strict with the other party, we must also be strict with ourselves. We must also correct some of our own shortcomings that the other party cannot tolerate. Never be harsh on others and lenient on yourself. Doing so will make the other person sad and disappointed. Not long ago, because I was troubled by other things, I was upset about my friend's non-malicious yelling, so I started to isolate her, which ultimately made me very uncomfortable. But fortunately, we both apologized to each other in the end. Get back together.

Understand the importance of emotional management

Improper emotional management will affect physical health

"Book of Rites" says that "the heart is broad and the body is fat", which means that the mood is happy When you are healthy, people will be in good health (in the past, people thought that fat people were in good health). Research shows that if a person often has negative or negative emotions, such as anger, tension, excessive anxiety, emotional uneasiness or unhappiness, the human endocrine will be affected and lead to endocrine abnormalities. If this happens for a long time, it will cause physiological problems. disease. This is what is called "psychosomatic disease" in psychology, that is, persistent psychological problems will cause physical problems if no attention is paid to adjustment.

Improper emotional management will affect interpersonal relationships

Whether emotional expression is appropriate will affect our interpersonal relationships, and interpersonal relationships are particularly important in real society. Some people point out that 30% of a person's success comes from his professional skills and 70% from his interpersonal skills; and for managers, interpersonal skills account for a larger proportion. If managers always do not control their negative emotions in front of their subordinates, over time, they will be regarded as difficult people to get along with by employees. Only by caring and being friendly to your subordinates can you stimulate their inner motivation and serve the company willingly. A leader who always smiles and loves to praise his subordinates will naturally improve his interpersonal relationships.

Improper emotional management will affect organizational performance

Good emotions can allow employees to give full play to their potential, actively engage in work, work hard for corporate goals, and improve organizational performance. Especially when facing competitors, we must control our emotions. Only by controlling impulsive emotions can the rational mechanism in our brains start to operate, so that we can do things thoughtfully and carefully without giving the other party any opportunities to take advantage of us. For example, during the Three Kingdoms period, Zhuge Liang once angered Hua Xin to death in public on the battlefield. Hua Xin did not know how to control his emotions, and Zhuge Liang seized on this weakness of his. Zhuge Liang is a master of emotional management, and his empty city strategy is completely a psychological tactic with the opponent - if he cannot control his emotions well and shows the slightest panic in front of the enemy, his empty city strategy will fail.

Knowledge expansion:

Be the master of emotions

Emotions are contagious. People with strong energy can easily influence the emotions of others and have stronger emotional autonomy. , this is what is called "influence" and "leadership". In people's lives, it is not always based on "walking around the world with reason". Instead, it is more often personal charm that plays a role, and the exertion of personal charm relies on the influence and spread of personal emotions.

If you want to be the master of emotions, you must pay attention to the following three points: first, do not be a source of negative emotions, such as provoking a war of negative emotions; second, do not be a forwarder of negative emotions, copy , Forwarding negative emotions will make everyone unhappy; third, have the courage to be the terminator of negative emotions. For example, when encountering something unhappy, adjust your emotions before going home and avoid conflicts with your family.

1. Misunderstandings in handling emotions

In dealing with emotions, people often easily fall into misunderstandings in emotional processing.

Tolerance

Managing emotions does not mean suppressing them, but actively venting them. Chinese people are generally good at forbearing, but forbearance can easily "help the evil" and allow emotional toxins to multiply in the body, eventually leading to out-of-control situations. Although in social life, people often need to be patient, this kind of tolerance is only temporary, and you need to find a way to release it immediately later, otherwise it will also have a negative impact on yourself.

Venting

Different from venting, the biggest feature of venting is that it is passive and uncontrollable. Research shows that about 40% of criminal behaviors escalate from small frictions and minor incidents. Once people can become a little more rational and finally learn to actively vent, venting can change from passive to active, avoiding the risk of hurting each other.

Escape

Many people want to hypnotize themselves and forget the painful experience when they are falling out of love. In fact, the effect of this method is only temporary. When you are alone in the dead of night, the past events will reappear. Therefore, the thing that people want to avoid most is their biggest crux, and they should find ways to solve the problem as soon as possible instead of subjectively escaping.

2. The correct way to deal with emotions

Acceptance

There are no good or bad emotions. Faced with different emotions, people should first accept them and avoid escaping. Avoiding can't solve any problems, you should face your emotions head on.

Catharsis

People should vent while accepting their emotions and current situation. Catharsis refers to actively and methodically releasing negative emotions, such as exercising, singing, etc.

Handling things

People should avoid making decisions and handling things with emotions, because the decisions made and the way things are handled at this time often deviate from the normal track and make mistakes. The probability of incorrect decisions or incorrect processing will increase.

Change yourself

If things cannot be handled, you must change yourself. Changing yourself needs to start from two aspects: first, prevention. For example, society is constantly improving, but it still cannot prevent thieves from appearing. People cannot deal with this problem, so they need to prepare some emergency items instead of complaining angrily after losing something. Second, accept it.

For example, no matter how good the prevention is, there will inevitably be times when things are lost. This requires you to keep your credit cards and ID cards separately and accept this fact.

3. Soul reshaping

There are three main levels of soul reshaping: first, deletion or modification, second, acceptance, and third, communication.

1. Deletion or modification

Deletion or modification is the lowest level of soul reshaping. It means that when people cannot understand or adapt to the surrounding environment or things, they find ways to change it. process or change it. However, processing and changes require a lot of effort, and even a lot of effort does not guarantee the desired results.

2. Acceptance

Acceptance is the second level of soul reshaping. It means that people seek common ground while reserving differences for things they hate, are ashamed of, and do not want to do. concept, allowing its existence. For example, accept that one day you will be stolen, accept that people all have selfish sides, and accept that there are too many unfairnesses in the world, so that when you really encounter these situations, your emotional ups and downs will not be too great, and you will not feel bad for yourself. Cause too much trauma to the body and mind.

3. Communication

Communication is the highest level of soul reshaping. When a person can communicate with his enemies, it means that his enemies may become his friends. When conflicts arise between people, they often say "I'm too lazy to talk to you" or "I'm too lazy to care about you". This is the biggest problem - the communication channels are cut off, no information can be transmitted to the other party, and each other cannot understand each other, and the problem is also It can't be solved. In fact, as long as both parties to a conflict are willing to try to communicate, many problems may be solved.

4. The source of happiness

The goal of life is to pursue joy and happiness. People have different opinions on the definition of happiness, but they have a relatively consistent view on the source of happiness, which is everyone's heart.

How office workers should manage their emotions

1. Calm down

Experts suggest: "First lower your voice, then slow down your speaking speed, and finally straighten your chest." Lowering your voice and speaking speed can relieve emotional impulse; and holding your chest forward can dilute the impulsive and tense atmosphere. People who are emotional and have a strong tone of voice usually lean forward with their chests. When they lean forward, they will bring their face closer to the other person. This speaking posture can artificially create tension.

2. Keep silent and listen

Experts suggest: "If there is a quarrel, remember not to open your mouth. Listen to others first, let others finish what they have to say, and try to be open-minded. Be sincere and reasonable. It is absolutely difficult to win people's hearts by arguing. The immediate way is to talk to each other. "

The characteristic of anger is that it is short-lived, and conflicts are easier to resolve after the "anger". When you disagree with other people's ideas and find it difficult to convince them, keeping silent and listening will make the other person realize that the listener is interested in his point of view.

3. Exchange roles

In a computer company in California, I met a programmer and his boss who had a dispute over business. Someone suggested that they take each other’s position. After five minutes, both parties realized how ridiculous each other's performance was. After smiling at each other, they quickly found a solution.

If both parties can exchange roles and put themselves in their shoes when exchanging opinions, they can avoid getting angry.

What should office workers do when they are stressed? 1. Don’t force yourself

If you feel irritable because of something or someone, pay attention If you can't concentrate, don't force yourself. The most important thing to do at this time is to relax and do something to kill time and not consume your brain. You might as well listen to music or watch TV. Only after your mood is relieved and relaxed can you have the energy to do what you should and want to do.

2. Cry properly

Crying loudly when you are grief-stricken can calm your emotions. Crying is a good way to relieve tension, worry, and pain.

American psychologist Weaverley believes that tears can expel certain toxins produced by the organism during the stress response process. From this perspective, holding back from crying means chronic poisoning.

3. Learn to self-adjust.

Relax yourself in time and maintain psychological balance and tranquility. For long-term mental stress, white-collar workers should learn to self-adjust and relax in time. Such as participating in various sports activities; taking a hot bath after get off work, chatting with family and friends; going on weekend trips; you can also use various methods to vent your suppressed emotions, etc.

4. Diversion of attention

When anger rises, consciously changing the topic or doing something else to distract attention can relieve the emotion. When the anger is still lingering, you can use legitimate and meaningful activities such as watching movies, listening to music, playing chess, playing ball, walking, etc. to relax your tension. Some people work hard when they get angry. This is not only a diversion, but also a kind of catharsis. It can be regarded as an effective method of controlling anger. But you need to remind him to pay attention to his safety at this time, because when he is provoked, his movements are often not accurate and coordinated enough.