It’s almost the Chinese New Year. There are still about three weeks left, and it’s time to start preparing for interpersonal issues such as the Chinese New Year. Class reunions like the Chinese New Year are unavoidable. From the perspective of a psychological counselor, I will answer this question from a psychological perspective. How can I make myself more comfortable during the "comparison game" of this Chinese New Year reunion?

Let’s briefly talk about how to feel comfortable in this kind of interpersonal relationships and interactions. What is the state like? That is to say, first of all, it is necessary to be as relaxed as possible, not awkward, and harmonious. When so many people are together, they will not feel any sense of violation or unhappy, because after all, it is the Chinese New Year, right, let’s use this for a goal.

1. Minimize party expectations before going.

First of all, a large part of the reason why we are easily disappointed and injured in interpersonal relationships is that our expectations of the other party are too high. We may be thinking about each other, and maybe we can understand me, right? Maybe I encountered some problems here, which caused my emotional state to be not good. At the same time, as for the other party, maybe because he has known me for a long time, he may be able to understand me relatively well. But in fact, neither of the first two points can be achieved. Each of us cares more about our own little piece of land, and almost never think about the other person's perspective. So even if I am a psychological counselor, I don't expect that the other party can understand us, because usually empathy is our specialty, and only people with this kind of expertise will consciously communicate with others to understand each other.

Another big problem is that information is asymmetric between people. We don’t know what information the other party is exposed to and what kind of environment it is. Moreover, people usually show carefully matched aspects of themselves in social situations. For example, many things posted on WeChat Moments are a bit "fake". The car is rented, the house may be rented, and the pictures are P. In addition, everyone wants to have face at a class reunion like this, so there are probably many that are not quite right. Practical stuff. But in terms of communication, we still keep each other's expectations to a minimum and treat each other as ordinary friends.

2. Don’t take up the topic of “comparison”.

You must know that the topic of comparison is actually endless. You may have a better garage, but he may also have one, and this is not a particularly good thing in the first place and will make people slow down. Slow materialization. In addition, the economy may not be very good this year, and there has been an epidemic in the past two years. Most people will also be affected, whether they are in work or industry. Even very stable civil servants are heard to have their salaries reduced or not hired.

When people talk about these kind words and compliments, you can simply say "uh-huh" and don't accept it. When everyone talks about how someone is rich and they are comparing each other, just smile and deal with it. Don’t talk too much. If you become indifferent on these topics, the other party will also restrain themselves because they think you are Not interested anymore. And your attitude can affect the people around you to a certain extent. If you are insensitive to these topics, people around you will be the same if you are indifferent.

But in general, when faced with the "comparison problem" at a class reunion, being indifferent, not responding, and not caring is the most comfortable state for oneself.