1. For men, twenty is a semi-finished product, thirty is a finished product, forty is a fine product, fifty is the best, sixty is a top grade, seventy is a waste product, and eighty is a souvenir.

2. I really want to follow you all my life and travel all over the world; I really want to spend my whole life with you and no longer stay alone. My heart is sad for you, I shed tears for you, you will always be mine.

3. Snowflakes are floating in the blue sky, and the beautiful leather shoes are leaking from the feet. The acquaintance between you and me is a myth. Please call me back gently!

4. You are my cup when I drink water - kiss you; my pillow when I sleep - love (next to) you. The stars in the sky are my eyes that sparkle with tears when I miss you, and the waning moon is my heart that breaks in half when I miss you!

5. I miss you so much that I broke the phone line, burned out the mobile phone card, emptied my wallet and took all the sleeping pills, alas! But I still want to see you.

6. You are my cotton-padded jacket in winter and ice cream in summer. You are the Apollo in my life. I am willing to pull a cart and collect rags for you! I hope to walk side by side with you, and I will definitely be able to walk through thousands of mountains!

7. Without you, I am very lonely. I feel so lost when I can’t see you. I want to say I love you, but I am not qualified. I miss you so much, it’s a bit too much! I saw you and touched you hard... Nanfeng touched you!

8. Kiss you sweetly, kiss you affectionately, caress you with all kinds of tenderness, embrace you with rippling breasts, please remember that I love you.

9. Dear, please listen to me: "For you, I can go up to the nine heavens to catch the moon, and I can go down to the five oceans to catch turtles!" Because: the "moon" is you, and the "turtle" is too. you!

10. I find that you are getting more and more beautiful. It turns out that our ancestors have long said: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Our ancestors also said: A hero appears in Xi Shi’s eyes. The hero in your eyes refers to me.

11. I use my infatuation to exchange for your sincerity; I give my love to my close friend; don’t be careless with me, and stay with me forever.

12. Love is like a brick, love is like a mountain. It doesn’t matter how many bricks you have, just one is enough. The mountain doesn’t need to be high, just stay with it for a lifetime. Love is a cup of poisoned wine. If you don’t want to devote your whole life to love, don’t drink it, because it has no antidote.

13. The male classmate stood on my left, the female classmate stood on my right, and the others stayed put...but he didn't move.

14. My dear, for you, I will bravely cross the ocean and jump into the abyss without hesitation. I will overcome any difficulties! I'll see you on time on Sunday, if it doesn't rain!

15. I will love you for ten thousand years, exaggeration! I have loved you for five thousand years, hopelessly! Loving you for a thousand years is ridiculous! I've loved you for a hundred years, which is too long! Loving you for 70 consecutive years is my strength!

16. Alpine Yizhimei, who do you love? I want to have sex with you, no one can stop me! When I get married, I become obscene, and I am so crazy. I'm so cool when I'm gay!

17. If I pour out the entire Yellow River water, it will extinguish the flame of my love for you. Is it possible to pour out all the water in the Yellow River? no. So I still love you.

18. The family is poor and ugly. He is 1.49 meters tall. He has a rural household registration with primary school education. He has a dilapidated house with three rooms and one acre of thin farmland. He has no wife who can cook hot pot or hot stove. He keeps talking about medicine all year round. Today’s SMS is recruiting girlfriends. * * Hand in hand on the road, dare to ask if you are willing!

19. Girl, girl, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. You are my bread when I am hungry, you are my fruit knife when I am pregnant, you are my heart, and you are my liver. , you are three-quarters of my life!

20. I have prayed before the Buddha for five hundred years, just to be a little flower that blooms to its fullest on the road you must pass.

21. Seven to eight said: "Baby, let's get married! It just makes up the idiom 'seven up and eight down'."

22. Accounting professor: Kissing is a A type of credit loan because there is a profit when it is returned.

23. Actively respond to the "Six Eggs" call. You can only look at your wife's face, kiss her face before going out, and keep her cheek close to her when sleeping. When she is old, she must not be called a "bastard". My wife calls her a "bastard" and I am a "softie".

24. Do you know what I am doing? Give you 5 choices: A. I miss you B. I miss you very much C. I miss you very much D. I can’t miss you E. All of the above.

25. What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters!

26. When the 9th letter falls in love with the 21st letter, will you accept me? (That is, when I fell in love with U)

27. Female: "I didn't expect Cupid to shoot me." Male: "Which unit does Cupid belong to? Tell me and I will teach him a lesson. If you dare to touch me, Woman.

28. I hate it when I wait for your news for a long time, and then I just say "Oh". Do you think I am telling a story or a joke?

29. When you are in love? Men like to have "hands and feet"; men after marriage become "hands and feet."

30. No matter you hate it, love it, suffer it, or enjoy it, I will leave you the warmest and best place in my heart. As long as you knock on the door, I will embrace you. Embrace, because I love you forever

31. I miss you, I miss you so much, I miss you so much, I miss you so much, I miss you so much, I miss you so much, I miss you so much. Kissing, missing your smile, missing your white rabbit fur, and the faint taste of grass in your mouth...

32. A first-class man has a home outside his home; a second-class man has flowers outside his home; a third-class man looks for flowers. home; fourth class family members return home from get off work; fifth class men and wives are not at home; sixth class men have no wives and no home.

33. Marry me and I will flush your toilet with oil, bathe you with Pepsi-Cola, and take you to and from get off work with a Boeing 777. Promise me?

34. An unmarried woman sighed: Why do all good men become other people’s husbands? Someone reminded her: Wives train good husbands by themselves, and no man can be self-taught.

35. I am not afraid of the sky or the earth, but I am afraid that the teacher will come to my house. Sit on my bed, drink my tea, and my mother will beat the teacher as soon as he leaves.

36. You, my dear, stole my love and my heart. I decided to take you to court. What crime should I sentence you to? The judge went through all the criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously agreed: I sentence you to me for life.

37. The great leader Chairman Mao taught us: If you want to know the taste of pears, you must taste them yourself. This is the absolute truth that applies to everyone. Do you want to know the taste of love? Let's have a taste together.

38. Five hundred years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. That day when I peeked at you chopping wood from the window, I fell in love with you. Don’t blame me for not telling you at that time! Because there were no short messages back then!

39. You are born with a smile that touches my heart. I will pursue you sincerely throughout my life. If others pursue you, I will worry that it will cause me to not concentrate on my work. I will always be the most sincere to you and will never change my heart throughout my life.

40. Under the shade of the trees in the hospital, a pair of lovers were hugging and kissing. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said: "You are so confused. To perform artificial respiration, you should lay her flat on the ground. Go away and let me do it."

41. Dear , you always say that I like to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I will go up to the nine heavens to catch the moon, and I will go down to the five oceans to catch turtles!" Because: The "moon" is you, and the "turtle" is also you!

42. Time is a chain, happiness is a bead, string beads on a chain and hang them on your chest and you will be happy for a lifetime; happiness is a pebble, trouble is sand, use a sieve to filter out the sand, and the pebbles will accompany you. Your whole life.

43. Think of me when you are lonely, come to see me when you miss me, and bring fruits when you see me, oranges, bananas and apples. Oranges mean that you love me, bananas mean that you miss me, and apples mean that you love me. I.

44. Weather forecast: From early morning to day, I sometimes miss you, and in the afternoon I think about you violently. I predict that my mood will drop by five degrees. Affected by the extended low pressure, this type of weather is expected to continue until you arrive.

45. After a farewell, I miss you two places. I only talk for three or four minutes, but who knows five or six hours. Seven hearts are like carrying water. Eight lines of writing cannot be passed down. There are ninety-nine longevity in the world, and a ten-mile long pavilion. I love you!

46. You, the lovely one, have stolen my love and my heart. I decided to go to court. What crime should you be sentenced to? After the judge went through all the records and cases, the jury unanimously agreed: You are sentenced to stay with me for life!

47. Fish says to water: You can’t see my tears because I am in the water. Water said: I can feel your tears because you are in my heart.

48. A zero score on an exam is called a duck egg, a person who does bad things is called a bad guy, someone who has an empty head is called a fool, someone who gets fired is called a fuck, swearing at someone is called a bastard, the one who is reading a text message is called a fool.

49. I love you. To me, you are bread in the morning, bananas in the evening, garlic for Shandong people, and pepper for Sichuan people.

50. Falling in love at first sight, infatuated again, working hard all day long to win your heart, working hard, thinking about it, don’t you understand my heart!

51. Before marriage, "lies" are all "love words"; after marriage, "love words" are all "nonsense".

52. No matter how long the love words are, they can’t fully express my feelings. No matter how cool the autumn wind is, they can’t cool down my madness. No matter how busy the work is, they can’t delay my thoughts. One line of text message can express my love for me. My loving heart, are you willing to be with me forever?

53. Do you know, I hate you because you stole my heart, robbed my love, deceived my affection, and will occupy the rest of my life. What I hate you most is that you waste time. My cell phone bill is a dime!

54. Eat quite fat, pretend to be fat, have big ears, have strong limbs, carry a pen, don’t know how to settle accounts, buy a computer, don’t know how to surf the Internet, and make sure you pee on the bed when you sleep at night!

55. If you want a lovely baby, and if you are still hesitant about it, let me give you a little suggestion - marry me!

56. Please stop reading and turn off your phone! There's really nothing to see, please! Really want to see it? No regrets? All right! Is this what you want to see for yourself? I love you so much!

57. Once upon a time, there was a love like Lanaha in front of me, but I ignored it. Now I regret it so much! I want to shout loudly now: I love tiger oil!

58. God is my witness, my shadow follows you anytime and anywhere, and my eyes are watching you all the time... Damn, I mean - except when you take a shower!

59. Will you marry me or not? Will you marry me or not? Will you marry me or not? I'm just waiting for you to say something. If you agree, we will get married. If you don't agree, we will divorce.

60. You are smart, but I am stupid; you are delicate, but I am rustic; you are fragrant, but I am drunk; you are angry, but I am angry. Everything is only for your satisfaction.

61. A man and woman who met online felt that the time was right and made an appointment to meet on the third stone chair beside the small bridge and flowing water. The man said, are you... here? The woman said, damn it! Asking you to pick up women online!

62. Men’s biggest secrets are often told to their close friends, not the same sex, family members or wives. When a confidante becomes a wife, this part of her power is immediately revoked. This is called gain and loss.

63. I can only describe your beauty as vegetative. The face is "melon seeds". The waist is "willow". The eyebrows are "willow leaves". The eyes are "longan". The mouth is "cherry". The hands are "lotus roots".

64. When a man raises a woman outside, it is called "hidden beauty in a golden house." A woman raising a man outside is called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".

65. Greeting cards express my heart, and the Internet conveys my feelings; we meet from the southeast to the northwest, and we have close friends thousands of miles away.

66. Experiencing a relationship is like eating chocolate. Even if you don’t have to pay for the chocolate, you still have to pay for losing weight.

67. Boy, just obey your aunt! Tell me your bank cards, credit cards, medical insurance, all cards, and passwords, and let me help you keep them safe, including yours.

68. I met you by chance, noticed you twice when we met, dated you three or four times, missed you all over the place, 90% I probably like you, I am absolutely sure that I love you.

69. Emotions are in arrears, love has been shut down, promises are empty, trust has been shut down, care cannot be connected, beauty is not in the service area, everything is suspended, and life is completely frozen!

70. People in the past regarded marriage life as "a lifetime"; modern people regard marriage life as "a while".

71. When two people send text messages to convey their affection, it is called love. To only send text messages without sending them is narcissism. To only send text messages without receiving them is unrequited love. To send and receive once is to be in love. To send and receive often is narcissism. It's love.

72. It is easy to quit smoking, but it is too difficult to quit. When the love virus comes quietly, when you put the first kiss downloaded from my heart into the recycle bin, I decided to downgrade love and format the memories. Do you know my heart is crying?

73. Marry me, and I will flush your toilet with petroleum, give you a bubble bath with Rémy Martin XO, and take you to and from get off work with a Boeing 777. Use Zhao Wei as your maid.

74. Do you want roses? I won’t give it to you! Want some chocolate? I'm hungry for you! Do you want me to kiss you? You are so beautiful! Oh? My dear, don’t be angry, I just want to tease you!

75. My dear, how are you? I'm sorry, I'm about to miss my appointment again. I'm going on a business trip to the West with three other old bachelors - Sun Wukong, Monk Sha and Monk Tang. It may take three to five years before I come back. Wait for me!

76. I am the white clouds that shield you from the scorching sun. I am the breeze that sings softly for you. I am the rain and dew that moisturizes your face. I am the shooting star that makes a wish for you!

77. If I meet you again, I will pull you to the bedroom, lock the door, push you down on the bed crazily, cover your head with the quilt, open my arms, and stack you up The sleeves tell you: Look, my watch is luminous!

78. After a farewell, I missed you two times. I only said three or four minutes, but who knew that five or six hours would be like carrying water in seven hearts. There is no eight-line book that can be passed down. There are ninety-nine longevity in the world. I love the ten-mile long pavilion. you!

79. Why are you so stupid? Do you know that you have to stand behind me no matter what happens in the future?

80. That day I was walking alone on the street. It was raining heavily and the ground was slippery. I accidentally fell and my heart fell out. There was your name on it

81. The mouth of the mud is short! Mud is the dreamland of the nest! Wo looked at Mu sadly! Wo wants to say to Ni, Wo is short of Ni! (Please read aloud in rising and falling tones)

82. When I meet you, I am the silk rain of early spring; when I gaze at you, I am the green shade of midsummer; when I approach you, I am the stars of late autumn; when I have you, I am The scorching sun in midwinter.

83. Hope: The leader will follow you, the car will let you go, the money will stick to you, the court will favor you, the official career will be with you, the school will take care of you, the real estate will be whatever you want, and your lover will love you!

84. Lip proposed marriage to Tongue, but Tongue looked disdainful: You are a gun and I am a sword. When I am with you, I don’t have to quarrel with each other every day.

85. Are you secretly missing me? Are you really secretly thinking about me? If you really miss me, just tell me. I won't let you miss me. Let's be reasonable, I miss you too!

86. The office is going smoothly, life is getting better and better, winning card games, taste is good every time, the longer you live, the younger you will be, the older you are, the more handsome you will be, gold will come out of your home, and money will grow on your wall.

87. I really want to hold your hand and walk the road together. How do you express your love? Don’t think I’m ugly!

88. If you were a lovely red apple, I would be a lazy worm and chew you!

89. Only with the sun can the earth rotate, only with the earth can the moon rotate, only with the moon can the starlight be so bright, and only with you and me can the world be so rich and romantic.

90. I can’t eat in the morning because I miss you; I can’t eat at noon because I miss you even more; I can’t eat in the evening because I miss you crazily; I can’t sleep at night because ...I'm hungry.

91. I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.

92. The one riding the white horse may not be a prince, he may be Tang Monk; the one with wings may not be an angel, he may be a bird.

93. My love is like the stars in the sky, innumerable; my love is like a bunch of cabbage, which cannot be boiled; you are like a beggar to me, just show some love and run away. Please give me more love.

94. You are the sun in the sky, and I am the mountain on the earth; you are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the earth; you are the crow flying in the sky, and I am the earthly dog ??chasing after you. Chase.

95. Since you have lived in my heart for several years without paying rent, and since I spent time with you in my dreams and lacked sleep, my dear, you might as well just agree to be my girlfriend!

96. I have always regarded money as dirt. After marrying me, you will not have any worries in life - I have contracted 13 public toilets in the city. Make sure we don't have to worry about food or drink.

97. Flowers bloom on the inside but red on the outside. There is no way to pick flowers. If you want to pass through the road, the flowers will have to wither, and all the joy will be in vain.

98. My heart has been split in two! Half of it is you! The other half is for you! Let us be like vines and trees. When needed, one is the other's big tree. Let us join hands to move towards a better tomorrow.

99. Seriously implement the "four sons" principle, treat your wife like a grandson, treat your mother-in-law like a filial son, eat like a mosquito, and work like a donkey.

100. In Chinese class, the teacher asked a sleeping classmate to answer a question. The classmate was confused and couldn't say anything... The teacher said: "Can you do it? If you don't know it, just say it!" "The classmate: "Squeak."

101. Look, it's all down to you. You always compare women to water. There is a shortage of water resources now.

102. Before marriage, men often ask women to "discuss"; after marriage, men only tell women "conclusions."

103. I kept walking around in the huge crowd, holding my household registration book and 9 yuan in my pocket. Then I met you and took you into the Civil Affairs Bureau. I love you, my wife. !

104. I want to give you roses, but the price is too expensive; I want to comfort you, but I haven’t learned how yet; I want to kneel down for you, but the ring is still in the safe; I can only send you a text message. .

105. Four symptoms of the hospital: waiting in line to register, making you dizzy; doctors diagnosing, but the goddess scatters flowers; charging for medicines, it is a fog; long-term treatment, medicines are wasted. ;