Jennifer Bristol lost an old friend because of a recent Facebook argument about pit bulls.
The incident began with a news report in Bristol stating that pit bulls were the most dangerous dog breed in New York City last year. Now 40 years old, she lives in Manhattan, is a publicist and an animal welfare advocate. She said on Facebook, "Please give your opinion...pit bulls caused 833 incidents last year."
Many friends who work in animal welfare quickly joined the discussion. Some people believe that pit bulls are not a separate official breed, others believe that vicious dogs are often due to irresponsible training by their owners, and others say that black Labradors are actually more likely to bite.
A childhood friend of Bristol’s later chimed in, saying, “From an ER doctor’s perspective, I’ve been in this business for fifteen years and I’ve yet to see a golden retriever bite. And cases that require surgery or lead to death." This sentence caused an uproar***. Some people asked to see the doctor's "scientific research report" with their own eyes, some accused him of just not bothering to confirm whether his patients had been bitten by pit bulls, and some suggested that he "stop staying in the emergency room all the time" and go out. Look at the actual situation.
Bristow didn't get involved in the controversy, saying, "This is ridiculous." Her old friend, an emergency room doctor, ended her friendship on Facebook the next morning. Friendship. This was eight months ago, and this old friend never contacted her again.
Why are we so rude to others online? Whether it's on Facebook, Twitter, message boards, or websites, we all say things to others that we would never say face to face. Aren’t we supposed to get to know each other better?
Anonymity is a powerful weapon
We hide behind virtual usernames and feel that we can do anything and no one knows. But forget that on many websites, we are not as invisible as we think - Facebook is completely anonymous. Even when we reveal our true identities, we still behave inappropriately.
According to a soon-to-be-published joint research report from Columbia University and the University of Pittsburgh, being on Facebook reduces people’s ability to control themselves. This effect is particularly evident for users whose Facebook friends are made up of close friends.
Most people want to project an improved version of themselves on Facebook. This positive image, and the encouragement we receive from the “like” tag, feeds our egos. As your sense of self continues to expand, your self-control ability tends to get worse and worse.
"It's like a permission," explains Keith Wilcox, a professor of marketing at Columbia Business School and one of the study's authors. "Because you feel good about yourself, you take it for granted, and you want to protect this good image, so you lash out at people who don't agree with you," he added. These types of behavior (poor self-control, self-awareness). Swelling) "usually occurs in people who are severely affected by alcohol."
These researchers conducted a series of five studies***. In one study, they surveyed 541 Facebook users about how much time they spent on Facebook and the proportion of close friends in their Facebook friends list. The researchers also looked at users' offline lives, such as their debt and credit card usage, weight and eating habits, and the amount of time they spend in real-life social interactions each week.
The study found that people who spend more time on Facebook and have a higher proportion of close friends in their friend lists are more likely to overeat, have a higher body mass index and have more credit card debt , the credit history is also lower.
Another study showed that people who browsed Facebook for five minutes and had a stronger network of friends were more likely to snack on chocolate chip cookies rather than granola bars.
In the third study, the professors gave these participants a set of unsolvable word puzzles and conducted a timed IQ test, and then measured how long it took these people to give up solving the puzzles. The study ultimately found that people who spend more time on Facebook are more likely to give up quickly. A Facebook spokesman declined to comment.
Why are we so aggressive online
Consider a recent comment on this column’s Facebook page, whose author I don’t know, “Why am I writing to you? You're not coming back."
Author of "Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other." Sherry Turkle, a psychologist and research professor in the sociology of technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, says that we act unscrupulously online because we don’t have to see the reaction of the person we’re talking to. Because it is difficult for us to discover and pay attention to the similarities between each other, it is difficult to treat each other as real people online.
Dr. Turk said it is surprising how many people forget that they are speaking in public when communicating online. Especially when using smartphones, "You are actually expressing your opinion in public, but you may not realize it. So if you say 'I hate you so much' because of a trivial matter, so what? Do you think this It's like playing with a toy, no big deal."
For Facebook, its name itself is the cause of the problem. Dr. Turk said, "Facebook promises us a Facebook and a place to be friends with other people. But if you are hurt, you feel blindsided. You feel that you have been overly and publicly insulted, so you will fight back ruthlessly." ”
Tis the season for political discussions, and Chip Bolcik knows it best. The 54-year-old is a television announcer and a registered independent voter in Thousand Oaks. He often discusses political issues on his Facebook profile. He said, "I like to hear the voices of people who have different views from mine. Sometimes for fun, I will deliberately bring up some sexual topics to watch the netizens get into a fuss."
In the past few months, Bolshek has lost two real-life friends to online political spats. The first friend was a woman who was angry because Bolshek had posted a status asking people to discuss whether Mormons were Christians. "You are dead wrong, you have no idea what you are talking about," she wrote on the page. Then he added, "You're a ***." Bolschik blocked the friend on the homepage. "I allow free discussion, but don't make me angry," he said. Sometimes he even deletes entire threads.
The second friendship ended even more abruptly. One of his old friends kept repeating his views on Facebook, which angered several of Bolsik's Facebook friends, including Bolsik himself. "His posts were all about political rants, not normal discussions," Bolschik said. Bolschik wrote to the friend, telling him to block him if he continued. As a result, the old friend scolded him using vulgar language and terminated his friendship with him. "I feel pretty depressed," Borschik said.
Still, he can't help but add fuel to the fire at times. If a political discussion thread gets heated and he doesn't like the tone of the discussion—"left or right"—he will send a private message to an aggressive friend, suggesting that he or she get involved in the discussion.
"I'll say, 'Hey, this discussion doesn't sound right to me, what do you think?' And then they'll go over to it and then they'll trash the person I don't like, and I end up looking like the good guy. ."