Good evening everyone. Welcome to listen to the "traffic light rules" I shared. First of all, please let me pay tribute to Zheng of Le Zhiyi Family University, and thank her for bringing us the course "Balancing Emotions", which put me on the road of acceptance, perception, expression and transformation. Today, I forced myself to grow up by "teaching is learning", hoping to bring some inspiration to my partners, and I also welcome students with happy wings to correct me.
When something is unacceptable, people will be very angry, which is a true inner feeling; When good things happen, people can't help laughing, so there is no distinction between good and bad, right and wrong, but there are appropriate and inappropriate emotions on different occasions; Emotion is a kind of movable energy. Since it is energy, there is a difference in energy. Some energy is positive energy, then some energy is negative energy. When negative energy enters our body, it will weaken our body. Over time, it will destroy our physical and mental health and lose contact with others. This is a destructive emotion; Positive emotions can connect us with people's emotions and promote ourselves, others and even society. This is a constructive emotion.
In the process of learning and growing, although our minds know a lot of truth, if we don't take action, nothing will change. When we take action and apply it to our lives, we will gradually stabilize our emotions and reach a balanced state. When the mood has ups and downs and destructive emotions, we should pause, precipitate and reflect, and let ourselves observe our hearts, and there will be unexpected gains.
When destructive emotions appeared, she came to tell us: find a way to solve them! What we do is not to suppress him, but to see him and think about how to eliminate him so that he will not have a destructive effect. When our emotions reach anger, it is not easy to step on the brakes, which will cause each other's anger, just like a stone thrown into the splash on the lake, which will turn around and fall into endless war. At this time, if we have a sword or a magic war, it would be great to calm ourselves down!
Sharing the traffic light law with you today is to realize "a process of how to transform destructive emotions". When our mood is green, we feel comfortable. When our mood is at a red light, what kind of state will we be? Our bodies will react, such as shortness of breath, trembling, stiffness, cold sweat or cold palms. At this time, our bodies are feeling us: we are already in the red light district, which will be destructive to others, or others will be destructive to me. Red light stops, green light goes, yellow light flashes? What will be the state? It's a little uncomfortable, and the words are a little harsh, which means warning that the red light mood is coming. In this yellow light area, be prepared to brake, otherwise, it will cause harm to the other party. When the yellow light flashes, it will also give us a signal: please stop and slow down, and make an effective pause.
Everyone needs to pay attention here: can you stop effectively? To achieve a real effective pause, we should pay attention to whether our words and deeds give the other party a constructive or destructive feeling, which is the standard of effective pause. When you encounter something angry, you can tell the other party: "I am very angry about this matter just now and need to be alone." So that others can know your needs and feel that you need an independent space. The purpose of pause is to make the other person's words and deeds feel comfortable and help us move towards constructive behavior. One person's effective pause, in addition, is also the effective pause of others. When we see each other in low spirits, we can say to each other, "It seems that you are very unhappy and can't stop crying. Why don't you stay a little longer and come to me when you calm down." When the other person feels hurt inside and needs to cry for a while, let him cry for a while! This can bring this annoying thing down, which is an effective way to pause.
The first step to improve your life energy is to be aware of your emotions. When we are not aware of our emotions when we are in the eighth grade, it is impossible for us to reach the state of balancing our emotions. For example, when we see our husband lose his temper, you also loudly say to him, "You will be destructive to the child's mind." We will use the theory in our heads to stop others' actions, which will not only get the support of our family, but will make them feel that you have not felt your change. Therefore, when we say "you", we should immediately be aware of our emotions and allow ourselves to know later. We should pay attention to our own changes. When we change ourselves, we can drive people around us to see my change.
But in fact, when our emotions come, we can't use many methods, so what kind of support system do we have to support us to achieve an effective pause? Here, I offer you some ways to help us achieve an effective pause. This method is to find a supporter outside. This supporter can be my husband or family and tell them, "I'm learning to balance my emotions recently." I know it's always difficult for me to manage my emotions when something happens. Sometimes I get angry with you and do a terrible job. I want to grow more in this field. Honey, I want your support. When I can't help but have an emotional outburst with you, I invite you to be my supporter in this process. You can remind me with a gesture, or you can say a word: for example, mood, pay attention to mood. Now I can take a deep breath and let us slowly relax in the yellow light area and treat you calmly. " At the same time, I can also invite my colleagues to say "Hey, hey, mood" to me when they are in a mood. Then, I also got a support at work. Of course, we can also invite children to be our supporters. Once we do that, my children and I will get further growth. We need to grow, and we also need the support of growth. Let's focus on our study, invite more and more supporters to help us on the road of emotional balance, gain more and more strength and resources, and improve our ability faster.
We should remember that we should not suppress emotions, but let them flow and reach a balanced state. There are more than three solutions to everything. When we stop effectively in the yellow light area, we can take a request to express positively to the other party: "Although I am angry about this matter, I have stopped voluntarily. I am angry because ... ". With positive expression, the other person will know how you feel and can make the next contact. Another way is to let yourself take a deep breath when your emotions are out of control, write a small notice, put it in an easy-to-see place, and remind yourself every day, so there are more and more methods and choices. Of course, you can also find external support. If there is only one method, we will lose flexibility. If this method doesn't work, we will easily get stuck there. When we have more than three methods, we will be very flexible.
When our mood comes, we may not be able to step on the brakes and go straight for it. We will also forget more than three methods, and some things in our minds will not be used at that moment. What do we do? When we feel that emotions are coming, we can invite external supporters, even reading books, listening to music, having a cup of coffee and so on. If we don't write these things down when we are calm and don't use our brains to deal with them, those thoughts are fleeting, and we can't remember them when the yellow light is on. Therefore, when we are calm, we should list the ways to balance our emotions, set some secret codes, and show them in the form of pictures or words to make a lucky wheel. When our emotions begin to sprout, let's turn the wheel of fate. We can follow the above tips, such as playing a game and reading a book. When our mood changes and our anger disappears, we can switch ourselves to another mood. Only by effective suspension can we keep moving forward and making progress.
Emotion is not an overnight lesson, it is a growth partner with us all our lives. Let's pause effectively before destructive emotions come, learn to express emotions positively, and turn negative energy into positive energy. Let's review the traffic light rules: red light stops, green light goes, and yellow light goes slowly! Share the "traffic light law" here. Thank you, dear friends, let's move forward together, keep a stable mood in our hearts, let our life be loving and happy, and live a peaceful and happy life!