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Why has mother-in-law become so difficult to serve?
"There is an old saying in Nanjing that the more a mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the happier she is. There is another unpleasant remark behind her. The old father-in-law hurts his son-in-law, and the donkey farts. " Lao Wu smiled and said, "Because in the past, I thought my father-in-law didn't want to marry my daughter, and my father-in-law and son-in-law were considered natural enemies."
But why do young people worry about their mother-in-law now? Look at the "mother-in-law's economy" and "Ten Cheats of Coaxing Mother-in-law" that are hotly discussed on the Internet, all of which are quietly raising the status of mother-in-law.
Lao Wu thinks there is a reason for this. "I think this has something to do with the national policy of family planning. My mother-in-law used to like her son-in-law. She treated her son-in-law as half a son, and her daughter married off. It's good to have a half son at home. Coupled with the attraction of the opposite sex, the mother-in-law is more likely to tolerate the son-in-law. But now, there is a daughter at home, the only one, the apple of her eye. At this time, the mother-in-law's request for the son-in-law is not half a son, but a complete son. "
In this way, the mother-in-law will be hard on her son-in-law. She imposed her wishes on her son-in-law, demanding his education, work and economic conditions. The most common thing is to let the son-in-law buy a wedding room. "As for the old father-in-law, he knows more about the son-in-law. He has been there before. Besides, the daughter is his father's little cotton-padded jacket. The old father-in-law loves his daughter and is naturally tolerant of his son-in-law. " Therefore, Lao Wu concluded that the old views have now been subverted, and it is easy for the old father-in-law to send them away, but it is difficult for the mother-in-law to do it.
How does a mother-in-law choose a son-in-law
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Mother-in-law in modern society seldom considers her daughter's feelings about love and marriage when helping her daughter get a good marriage. They always educate their daughters, their dreams are full and the reality is skinny, and they always teach their daughters the philosophy of life, but not as those who used to be poor together know.
As a result, more and more boys feel the reality of modern girls and feel that girls are becoming more and more materialistic and lack spiritual pursuit. What's more, when a girl is looking for a partner, it doesn't matter what she looks like or whether her personality is good or not. The most important thing is that you have a property right wedding room under your name, and it is best to meet the basic conditions of having a house, a car, a ticket, a seat and an only child.
In fact, there is not much difference between modern girls and old girls. When looking for a partner, they also choose boys who get along with themselves, are predestined friends, can communicate and have telepathy. The problem is that mothers-in-law in modern society keep pace with the times, especially those who are overworked after marriage. They will strictly help their daughters and prevent their babies from repeating their own mistakes. After all, it is the second time for a woman to choose a job when she gets married.
Girls' mothers are very direct when expressing their opinions. People whose family scenery conditions can meet their ideal standards will like it. Without certain material conditions, it is useless for boys to convince or beautify themselves as "potential stocks". After all, no mother can make her daughter give up better material conditions and choose an invisible marriage partner. In the eyes of girls and mothers, futures and spot are the bottom line.
It's no wonder, after all, my mother-in-law is a living person, and no one wants to wronged her precious daughter. Therefore, their perspective is absolutely true. In their eyes, bread is definitely more important than romance, and the material conditions are more affordable than the so-called Chun Xue in spirit. Therefore, there is no need to marry their darling.
Therefore, the vast majority of female parents simplify the criteria for choosing a son-in-law as "addition and subtraction". The so-called addition and subtraction of mate selection is actually based on the comparative weighing of the advantages and disadvantages of both men and women. Advantages can be used as reasons for adding points, while disadvantages can only be used as items for reducing points. After adding and subtracting all the factors, the total score of comprehensive evaluation can be obtained. If the scores are equal, you can pass the exam before agreeing that your daughter can determine them as partners. This seemingly simple addition, subtraction, multiplication and division is actually a suitable match, which does contain many rich principles of mate selection.
For example, what kind of university diplomas your daughter and the other party have? If they belong to the same level in China, the scores are equivalent. If one is a university and the other is a diploma from two or even three universities, there will be a gap between addition and subtraction.
For example, if one is a graduate student and the other is an undergraduate, the bonus factor will naturally change. Of course, if male students have a higher degree, it will be enough. If it happens that female students have higher academic qualifications, it will bring psychological pressure to male students.
For example, one party holds the golden rice bowl of civil servants or other enviable occupations, or has an enviable stable job, while the other party has poor job stability, even in the entrepreneurial stage of his career, which will bring great trouble to the dialogue between men and women on equality.
For example, one family is relatively rich and the other may be poor. If the man's family is poor, it is basically impossible to get the consent of the woman's parents and come together. After all, no mother-in-law will allow her daughter to marry the poor.
For example, the number of children in both families is also a major consideration. Now, both of them are only children and can have two children. At the same time, it also has a lot to do with inheritance. So these are one of the important contents that girls' parents pay special attention to.
For example, whether the parents of both sides are different in urban and rural areas, whether they are engaged in similar occupations, whether they enjoy pension insurance and medical insurance, whether they will become a heavy economic burden after marriage, etc., will mostly become factors for both sides to add or subtract points.
Mother-in-law's increasingly realistic logical thinking is also forced out by an increasingly realistic society. When faced with the choice conditions of her daughter, I certainly hope that her daughter can marry into a rich family and become a "rich second generation" and a successful "official second generation". Therefore, the collective materialization of mother-in-law is also their ideological progress with the times.
What's more, the current mother-in-law chooses her son-in-law by "addition and subtraction", which is actually inheriting the traditional marriage custom culture of the Chinese nation and a continuous continuation of the concept of marriage custom. More and more examples prove that it is difficult to find a solid marriage foundation for a marriage that is not suitable for the family. It's just that today's mother-in-law makes such criteria for judging her husband more straightforward, simpler and more specific, and even more transparent and open, and no longer hides.
From this point of view, there is no need for boys to dislike his girlfriend as a material woman. After all, you can pass the comprehensive assessment of her parents' "addition and subtraction", and your conditions are not in line with the satisfactory results of her parents. So, this is just your own problem, and the girl's parents can't blame her girlfriend.