Handsome, too spicy, not handsome, not available;

Be lively, say you are too oily, don't make any noise, say you are too boring;

Wear a suit, say you are too serious, wear casually, and say you are a redneck;

Will make money, afraid that you have a mistress; If you don't earn money, you are afraid that your child will be weaned.

Get married, lest you regret it; Don't get married lest she regret it.

Give birth to a child, afraid that you have no money to raise, don't have children, afraid that no one will raise you when you are old.

It is difficult to be a woman these days, and it is even more difficult to be a man. Men should be good to themselves!

Sighing man:

Ugly and handsome people earn less, those who earn more don't care about their families, they care about their worthless, those who have a future are not romantic, those who are romantic are unreliable and those who are reliable are timid.

The world elder brothers four iron:

One iron shares a window, two iron shares a gun, three iron shares a prostitute, and four iron shares stolen goods.

A man's four hopes: there is a cook at home, a good-looking one in the office, a bitch beside him and a young lady in the distance.

Men's four major helplessness:

Being with your wife is boring, finding a lady is too expensive, finding a lover is too tired, and not getting married is the most affordable.

Four basic rules:

Drinking is basically based on delivery, smoking is basically based on supply, wages are basically unchanged, and wives are basically not used.

Four big can't say:

Bull market quilt cover, honey soaking, stolen money, Viagra is invalid.

Men's four major helplessness:

It's boring to accompany your wife. It's too expensive to find a young lady and too tired to have a lover. It's best not to get married.

Men have four kinds of stupidity:

Go home from work, earn money by yourself, eat some lobster, and leave a phone number for the young lady.

Men spend four flowers:

There are flowers outside the first-class man's house, second-class men look for flowers outside, third-class men scratch around, and fourth-class men come home from work.

Man four ghosts:

Going home from work at night is a poor man, going home at 9 o'clock at night is an alcoholic, going home at 12 o'clock at night is a goat, and going home at 4 o'clock in the morning is a gambler.

Symptoms of men cheating:

The company works overtime every day, never touches the housework, turns off the mobile phone when going home, deletes the text message after sending it, snores loudly when sleeping, and often wears underwear backwards. By contrast, three cases were suspected and four cases could be diagnosed. How a person dies:

Have you seen the beauty? Go to hell, understand? Beautiful, cheat into the room? I'm anxious. Sleep in bed? Tired, does the wife know? Scared to death, do parents know? I'm so ashamed. Does the leader know? The whole death, rival in love knows? beat to death

Men and brands:

A man in his twenties is called Pentium; The man is Hitachi, 30 years old; Rhapsody in July was in Zheng Da; A fifty-year-old man named Matsushita; A person is called Microsoft at the age of 60; A man of seventy is called Lenovo.

Male penis machine:

20-year-old man helicopter, 30-year-old man bomber, 40-year-old man fighter, 50-year-old man glider, 60-year-old man holding tractor, 70-year-old man's cell phone turned off, and 80-year-old man's computer died.

Four items for men:

Twenty-year-old men are futures, 30-year-old men are hot commodities, 40-year-old men are stocks, and 50-year-old men are jumping off buildings.

Male sexual ability:

Hot-blooded, don't repeat it. Twenty-four or five, not every day I'm over thirty, and I like counting money. Early forties, such as entering a Buddhist temple. Sixty is in sight, like handing over money. About 70, back in the game. Eighty-nine, only sigh

Men are eight afraid:

I'm afraid of my lover's pregnancy, my wife's desperate efforts, my young lady's illness, people's reaction, my lover's being soaked, mahjong being photographed, money being stolen and Viagra failing.

Ten people want to:

I want to do nothing, I want to monopolize my property, I want to lay golden eggs in my career, I want to have a string of many beautiful women, I want to be famous for my wheels, I want to seal stocks for him, I want to go home without cooking, I want to be charming forever, I want to spend a lot of money on myself, I want to be half as beautiful as me.

Ten criteria for choosing a wife:

A pretty face, 28 beautiful women, burning around, hardworking limbs, knowledgeable, eye-catching, exquisite, majestic, nine-day fairy, very obedient!

Man's life is really bitter;

Men are really unlucky. They can cook Caicai sauce, rice paste and play mahjong.

Men's versatility:

In the eyes of leaders, he is a cow, in the eyes of his wife, he is a little sheep, in the eyes of his son, he is a fierce tiger, and in the eyes of his parents, he is a wolf.

Male smoking:

Smoke ashima, people get stuck everywhere. Take a double happiness, treat and give gifts on your own. Smoking Hongtashan, the car transfers to and from work. Draw three fives, eat, drink, gamble and dance.

Male history:

For three thousand years, women have been following men. Thirty years ago it was "fences, women and dogs", and thirty years later it was "cars, women and wine". What is a man?

Men are coffee, which always excites women.

Men are cement, and it takes time to get hardness.

Man is a rainstorm, and I don't know how long it can last.

Men are holidays, which always make women feel too short.

Men's attributes:

0 1. Mouse: When the wife is angry, she should shrink back and tremble like a mouse afraid of cats, without saying a word.

02. Cow: Take on the livelihood of the whole family, plow like a cow, work hard and dare not be lazy.

03. Tiger: I have to work overtime in the dormitory at night and yell in the mountains. I can't slack off.

04. Rabbit: My wife told me that if I had a job, I would jump as fast as a rabbit, be agile and vigorous, and not neglect my turtle steps.

05. Dragon: Once in a while, the golden house hides the charming. If you want to walk like a dragon, you can't leave anything.

Snake: Go home late at night, don't pretend to be a snake, hide in the room, and don't disturb your dreams.

07. Horse: accompany the street to fight hard, carry on like a horse, and spare no effort.

08. Sheep: I usually live at home and behave like a sheep. I am docile and obedient and don't lose my temper.

09. Monkey: When serving your wife's daily life, you should be as smart as a monkey, be good at distinguishing colors, and don't be lazy and get into trouble.

10. Chicken: Get up at five before dawn. Get breakfast ready and wait in front of the bed. Don't be afraid of cold and heat.

1 1. Dog: Watch the house and keep the baby, shake your head and pray for the tail, welcome in and send out, and don't make any mistakes.

12. Pig: Don't throw away leftovers. You should be thrifty and don't be picky about food. ★ Men are tired, so they will knock on their backs. Men are sad, so they will wash their hair. Men are bitter, so they often gamble. Men are busy, so they often go to the wrong bed.

★ A first-class man has a home outside his home, a second-class man has flowers outside his home, a third-class man finds a home among flowers, a fourth-class man comes home from work, a fifth-class man's wife is not at home, and a sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

★ Men really have good taste and are not ashamed to lie! Obviously, he stepped on his back and said it was a secret tryst at work, but he said he was drunk, tired from going home to work and fell asleep in bed. If his wife offers charm, he pretends to shout pain and covers his stomach!

★ Men are thirty waves, forty waves, fifty waves, sixty waves before pushing back, seventy waves after pushing back, and eighty waves are calm.

★ Men are twenty pugs, following women everywhere; Men are hunting dogs at the age of 30, and they want to hug women when they see them. Rhapsody in July watchdog, shivering at the sight of his wife; A man of fifty is a mad dog. He bites women as soon as he sees them. This man is a 60-year-old high-heeled dog who takes Viagra everywhere. The 70-year-old man is a sick dog, who can only kiss the young lady's hand. The 80-year-old man is a dead dog and has no idea at all.

★ Men are semi-finished products 20, finished products 30, fine products 40, best products 50, top products 60, waste products 70 and souvenirs 80.

★ A man is a word of strength. Looking for women depends on eyesight, hitting on women depends on charm, holding that person depends on arm strength, marrying women depends on financial resources, treating women by force, and changing women's ability. A man can't do without strength!

★ Men go home early, and women are cynical; Men go home, women get angry; Men are handsome, women are sad; If a man is ugly, a woman will stamp her feet; If a man is too rich, a woman will have no master; Men have no money, women turn against each other; Women get angry when men are too obedient; Men are disobedient and women are fierce. Left and right are not people, men are really hard!

★ A single man is like a tiger, catching whatever he likes; An engaged man is like a cat. He can only catch his prey at night. Married men are like ducks. If you want to catch your prey, you need to cultivate extraordinary ability!

★ The wife is angry and the man wants to hide; When the wife is angry, the man keeps a straight face; When a wife is fat, men slip; As soon as the wife is rich, the man will step down.

★ Both men and women are poor. They must work hard to make money. They talk sweetly to their wives, and it is inevitable that they will pay money. It's dangerous to have a lover. Touch your flat pocket. Why not be a handsome boy?

How can a woman have a tip if a man is not drunk? How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk? Women and men are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel.