On Zhihu, there is a question: "When is the most suitable time for a woman to get married?"

A highly praised answer is: When you think it is a "little thing" "When things happen. Because at that time, you no longer prayed for marriage to change your destiny, nor did you expect to gain a sense of security through marriage, nor did you imagine that marriage would be your lifelong support.

No, #How to View the Meaning of Marriage# recently became a hot search on Weibo, triggering numerous heated discussions once again.

Many people are saying: "What is the purpose of getting married?"

Some people say: "There is no reason. It's just that when I get older, my family is urging me. Married. ”

Many people have this view, and their married life is just about the same, so that in the long years after marriage, they don’t know how to love and care, and they often have conflicts. There were constant quarrels.

But in fact, in Sister Ba's view, marriage is a lifelong practice for two people. You share the joys and sorrows, advance and retreat, and join hands to challenge various difficulties and obstacles in life. The ups and downs of life have made you tightly twisted into a rope. You can support each other at any time, resist together, and grow together.

"Marriage is about constant self-improvement"

The establishment of an intimate relationship is not about using the love of others to make up for your inner shortcomings, but about finding yourself. A good marriage relationship is not about relying on anyone, but about perfecting oneself in loving and being loved.

I have always envied the status of Sun Li and Deng Chao in their marriage. They are lovers and friends. They love each other and grow into better versions of themselves in each other's love.

When they first met, one of them was active and the other was quiet, which seemed out of harmony.

After getting married, Sun Li changed from being a serious person to becoming more humorous, and teasing each other became a normal part of life. She once had "non-marriage" thoughts, but not only has she become better, but her family relationship has also been handled happily.

Before marriage, Deng Chao, who was extremely eccentric, sometimes acted extremely crazy and was once called a "drama madman". But in the baptism of marriage, he became more and more stable and reliable, balancing family and career just right.

In an interview, Sun Li was asked: "What would you do if Deng Chao went off the rails?"

When faced with such a question, many people would think about how to accuse him. On the other hand, Sun Li said: "I will look at myself first."

This is not self-examination, but taking responsibility for oneself. People who know how to look at themselves are good at solving problems. They will not wrong themselves for others, nor will they lose themselves by trying to help others.

Searching for oneself is the pursuit of marriage, rather than making excuses from the other party. Recognizing your lover is also recognizing yourself.

Sister Ba still remembers that Sun Li once posted a set of photos taken by Huang Lei on Weibo. At the age of 43, she still looks like a gentle girl under the warm sun.

Many people envy Sun Li for being a full-time wife who does not cook or cook. They say that Sun Li is very lucky and happy.

Huang Lei said:

"I am happy, she is a very beautiful and very capable mother."

"She can do everything for you, I have almost given up my entire acting career. This is for the sake of my family and my children, which is difficult for ordinary people to do."

Huang Lei affirms his wife's dedication, sees her sacrifice, and recognizes her even more. ability. And those husbands who are self-centered and do not know how to run a family will be used to ridiculing their wives who take care of their children at home; wives who are not considerate of their loved ones will only complain that their husbands have no money to support the family.

As economist Xue Zhaofeng said in "Qi Pa Shuo":

"Marriage means that both parties use their own resources to start a family business together. What they sign is Lifelong wholesale futures contracts. Maybe everyone has different resources, different functions, and different effects, but they must work together to achieve a win-win situation."

In the end, marriage is not a hardship, nor is it a siege in life. , it is the ticket to have the ability to love and a training ground for self-improvement.

"Marriage is a response to love"

There is a couple on the Internet. The wife records the way her husband eats before eating every day. It has been going on without interruption from 2016 to now, and it is a small ritual in their life as husband and wife.

The wife loves cooking and always prepares food carefully for her husband. And this lovely husband expresses his praise to his wife with an expression of enjoyment every time.

They showed the situation of two people in a house with three meals and four seasons in front of everyone. Many netizens said: "It is so happy to cook for such a husband." Supporting each other and responding to each other is what this couple is doing.

Sister Ba had seen a video before called "I Never Help My Wife". During the chat, the husband would stop to wash the dishes and help his wife with housework.

My friend was confused as to why he did these things. He looked calm: "Actually, my wife doesn't need help at all. What she needs is a partner." The wife works hard for the family, and companionship is the husband's response to his wife.

Accompanying each other and completing one thing together will make it memorable and ritualistic. After many people have been with each other for a long time, they no longer feel the need to "thank you." Tian Fuzhen has this lyrics in "Little Lucky": "People naturally forget who has been silently guarding the place through wind and rain."

Any kind of love in the world needs to be expressed and respond. In a marriage, no matter what you do, even a trivial thing, if you can get a response and affirmation from the other party, it will be a great sense of accomplishment.

Marriage gives you someone to share trivial things with, and those inconspicuous things are supporting your emotional life. Even if life is trivial, you can live it in a different way with love and consideration.

"Marriage is the growth of two people together"

Speaking of Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang, people all praised: This is a rare love that can only be encountered.

I believe many people still remember the beautiful words Qian Zhongshu once wrote to Yang Jiang: "I never thought about getting married before I met her, and I never thought about marrying anyone else after meeting her. "

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As we all know, Qian Zhongshu loved books as much as his life, and so did his wife Yang Jiang. They were both willing to spend their entire lives exploring the mysteries of books.

Qian Zhongshu once summed up the relationship between him and Yang Jiang in one sentence: "It is a unique combination of three incompatible things: wife, lover, and friend."

< p> In the marriage of Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang, they are not only lovers who love each other, but also like-minded friends who grow up together.

They are each excellent and have their own attainments in literature, but at the same time they have each other in their hearts. When the two were studying in Oxford, England, the competition between the couple was not their ability to make money, but the number of books they read.

In a plain and warm marriage, reading has become a channel for spiritual communication between them. When they encounter a good book, they can discuss it excitedly for two or three days and enjoy it endlessly.

Yang Jiang also talked about interesting things about their reading. She said: "I love reading poetry, both Chinese poetry and Western poetry. I also like to talk about poetry with him. We often do it together. Memorize poems. We find that if we forget a certain word at the same time, and we miss it, that word must be the least appropriate in the whole poem; appropriate words are sticky and forgetful. No. "

Marriage is like a university. When we are together, we are not changing for anyone, but two people who are fifty percent and work together to live a hundred percent.

The love between Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang is not about life and death, nor about life and death, but about me and you growing up together in the long road of life.

Sister Ba remembers the short film "This Bowl of Noodles" performed by Tong Dawei and his wife Guan Yue, which also tells a story about maintaining original aspirations and mutual growth in marriage.

In the beginning, the ordinary couple lived a simple but happy life. The husband, played by Tong Dawei, said: "I will never get tired of the noodles you make." A bowl of noodles at that time, It represents every newlywed couple’s expectations for the future.

They worked hard until her husband began to gradually expand. He was busy with his career and finally achieved some success, but he began to dislike the original bowl of noodles as "too oily."

Perhaps it’s not that his appearance has changed, but that he has forgotten his original intention in the accumulated busyness. He spends less time with his wife and cares less about him. He even doesn’t like to eat the noodles she makes.

After several years of separation, her husband was hospitalized due to illness, and his wife came to visit. The husband suddenly found that what he wanted to eat most was the bowl of noodles made by his wife.

The last scene of the story touched Sister Ba very much. After time passed, the two stayed together until their old age. The most unforgettable thing was the bowl of simple but loving noodles.

Perhaps many people think that as long as two people are sweet enough, they will be married for a long time, but they don't know how important the pace of growth is to a marriage.

Each bowl of noodles reveals exactly the state of each couple at different times. Husband and wife are also like gears. Once someone wants to leave one partner behind or leaves too quickly, the marriage will often experience friction or even collapse.

Just as the story goes: "Simple things are not ordinary when you are with them." The most important thing for the two of them is that they can take steps at the same time, accompany each other, and pursue happiness together. In the final analysis, a good marriage is when two people can live independently without each other, but choose to be together because of a greater goal.

No matter how far the road is, I will walk with you. No matter how high the mountain is, I will climb with you. We will grow together and advance and retreat together. This is probably the best way to have a good marriage. interpretation.

You see, if you marry for material things, then when the material needs cannot be fully met, the marriage may face disintegration.

If you get married so that you can rely on someone, one day you will find that a person’s happiness is more than what marriage can provide. After all, there is no one in this world who you can rely on forever. The only one who will not leave you is yourself.

If you are getting married to carry on the family line and follow your parents’ expectations, I hope that when your self-awareness is awakened, you will not feel that all the past is like a big dream. “Life still requires you to do it for yourself.” The regret of living”.

If the purpose of your marriage is that you really meet the person you are willing to share your life with:

You have endless topics to talk about and the same interests and pursuits, You not only have the relationship between a man and a woman but also the loyalty between friends. You may have taken different paths in the past, but your planned future is in the same direction. You can be each other's support and support. Your decision to get married is not for anyone or anything. It depends on any kind of values, just because you identify with each other and there is no one else. You understand that life may not become easy with each other, but you are willing to share the joys and sorrows with this person and face the storms and rainbows.

Sister Ba thought, this is the moment when you should get married.

Nowadays, many people are always asking: "What is marriage for?"

Is it to please age? No, a low-quality marriage is not as good as a high-quality single;

Are you trying to please your parents? No, they would rather see you happy than a bad marriage.

A wife who has been married for two years online said this when talking about marriage:

“Every time I encountered difficulties or was in a bad mood, he was there; every time I think he is always there when he should be there or not.”

The so-called marriage means having someone to accompany you through difficulties, someone to accompany you to make money, and someone to count the stars with you. The bond of marriage is not children or money, but the mutual growth of spirit. Perhaps, this is the true meaning of marriage.