There are more than 30 million depressive patients with medical records in China. If you add patients who have never seen a doctor, the conservative estimate is around 90 million. The most serious consequence of depression is suicide. According to a statistic, among the people who committed suicide or attempted suicide in China, 50%-70% suffered from depression.
Yan Zeng, a psychiatrist in Shanghai, estimated that about one-third of patients with depression will naturally return to normal if they are not treated, which will take about six months to one year. The other third will be repeated and dragged into chronic; Another third will eventually choose to commit suicide.
In the past two years, many depressed patients or their families have come to me for consultation, and I often ask him in detail if he has ever thought of suicide. In my opinion, it is normal for people with depression to have suicidal thoughts.
Once a friend came to me because of severe insomnia and long-term depression, and asked me to judge whether he was depressed or not. After asking in detail, I finally asked a question: "Have you ever thought about suicide?" He replied: "Suicide ... Suicide is the only serious philosophical problem ..." I interrupted him: "Don't talk about philosophy, just say that you have specifically thought about suicide recently." He replied, "No." I said, "Congratulations! You are not depressed. "
So, why do people with depression commit suicide? Is it exaggerated or realistic for people with depression to say that "life is worse than death"? The answer is of course the latter. Let me analyze the reasons one by one.
My personal experience (not all), first of all, depression, like other diseases, patients' bodies are suffering. Many people think that depression is a psychological disease, but they don't know that depression is first manifested as a physical disease. At that time, patients will never know that they have depression.
For example, a headache. This kind of pain is faint, not intense, but heavy, heavy. It's like a dark cloud, lurking in your brain. Sometimes it suddenly disappears, just like being blown away by the wind; But you dare not relax, because you know that it will come uninvited and you will wait in fear. ...
Another example is chest tightness, stomach pain, shoulder and neck pain, tinnitus, palpitation, esophageal obstruction and burning sensation. Different patients will have different physical symptoms; The same patient will have different symptoms at different times. A patient once cried to me on the phone: "I don't have a good place in my body now."
The strangest thing is that there is a Guangxi patient whose physical symptom is anal pain. It turned out to be a precursor to his recurrence.
When the course of disease develops and the side effects of medication appear, patients will be complicated with different degrees of dyskinesia. Trembling hands, unsteady walking, sensitive touch, easy to jump, fidgeting. Similar to anxiety symptoms, it is medically called "psychomotor anxiety".
Later, it will develop into thinking disorder, reading disorder and language disorder; Fear of the wind, fear of the water, fear of the sound ... that kind of heart-and-soul pain is not exaggerated at all, and it is called living like a year.
Secondly, a unique feature of depression is pleasure blocking. At the severe stage, all the happiness and desires that belong to human beings have disappeared. The patient is extremely depressed every day and feels that there is no point in doing anything. For him, life is no longer a fresh and happy journey, but a painful purgatory.
There is a patient whose friends try to cheer him up, take him to eat delicious food, travel, and let him do appropriate work to gain a sense of value, etc., all in vain. Later, a friend tried to ask, "If all your wishes come true, will you be happy?" He listened, thought for a moment, and shook his head feebly: "No desire."
Why is this happening? There is a simple reason. Organic lesions in the brain cut off the channel of his desire.
Thirdly, another feature related to lack of happiness is despair. This is another common feature of patients with depression. Self-evaluation is infinitely reduced, self-blame, self-blame, and patients generally feel gloomy and hopeless in the future. Pain and a great sense of worthlessness are enough to devour everything.
I know a patient who had a serious ominous idea in the early stage of the disease. She told me that at home, when she saw her son alive and kicking in his new clothes, she was very sad: "Mom won't see you so happy this time next year."
The physical pain, lack of pleasure, pessimism and despair of the above-mentioned depressed patients are not the most terrible. The most terrible thing is the loss of emotion.
When the course of the disease develops to a certain extent, patients will become numb and dull. A basic manifestation of depression is that patients can no longer feel the beauty of emotion and life. Everything in the world, emotions, love and hate, has nothing to do with him. Relatives and friends are close at hand, but he is far away. He not only lost happiness and hope, but also lost the ability to love and appreciate beauty. At this time, people become a corpse, a walking corpse.
I remember, after I recovered, I once saw a movie, The Painted Skin 2. I don't like this movie, I think it's a bit artificial. However, there was a plot in the movie that shocked me. In the movie, Chelsea complains to Xiao Wei: "What are the advantages of being a man? It is better to be a demon! " Xiao Wei suddenly became angry and asked a series of questions: "What do you know? Do you have an abnormal temperature? Have you ever had a heartbeat? Have you ever smelled the flowers? Can you see the color of the sky? Have you ever shed tears? Is there anyone in the world who loves you and wants to die for you? "
At this moment, I feel like being struck by lightning. Imagine that if a person's body is deeply tortured and tortured, there is not a moment of happiness in a day, and he is completely desperate for the future, unable to perceive affection, friendship, color, sunshine, beauty and love. This world is not a person's world. What does it mean to him?
201Feb. 16 Late at night, a depressed girl named "@sienna" committed suicide by jumping off a building. Before the last moment, she left the last sentence on her Weibo, calm, clear and painful. The record is as follows:
? "Depression is too painful, the world becomes dark and twisted, and no matter how hard you try, you can't feel any beauty. You want to die. ..... Depression for many years, has been unable to fully feel the fun and pursuit of normal people, just feel indifferent and passive by nature. After three days of high fever on New Year's Day, I began to suffer from depression and insomnia all night. All my interests and desires disappeared, I resisted communication, became sloppy and lazy, and my physical and mental state deteriorated in an all-round way. ...
Before the Spring Festival, he was diagnosed with severe depression in Anding Hospital. Up to now, I have lost most of my memory, thinking, communication and behavior abilities. I have no sense of direction, and I can't organize my words. My brain seems to have been kidnapped, and it is difficult to finish ordering food and sending emails smoothly. The side effects of drug treatment are more like dogs biting my body and mind ... Please understand my struggle and helplessness, and forgive my selfishness and cowardice. Bye, love you. "
Sadly, where will you go, death is not inevitable.