Being single is also a kind of beauty

I appreciate a sentence: I live to meet beauty. If it's not beautiful, what's the regret of missing it?

Lin, 34, is a futures practitioner. The reason why Lin confided is that she just watched the popular movie "You deserve to be single" in the cinema. She said that she disagreed with some concepts in the film. She feels that being single is a beautiful life state of her own.

Text/Reporter Yin Xi

At the age of 30, I took my daughter and became a single mother.

There are always many accidents in life. When I first fell in love in college, I always thought that first love was eternal. But unexpectedly, my first love died before graduation. During the winter vacation of my senior year, my first boyfriend heard that an accident left me. Because of his enthusiasm and frankness, he is the top student in the department. When we were together, he took good care of me. After two years of love, he helped me cook. Roommates call me a happy "parasite" in love. However, the car accident ruined my happy life.

More than two years after graduation, it is difficult for me to get out of the shadow of smell.

In 2002, under the introduction of my parents and friends, I got to know Zhang Han, a civil servant. People are average-looking and gentle. I had no feelings for him when we met, but he fell in love with me at first sight. My parents think that he has a good working family and is a good marriage partner.

After dating for more than half a year, we got married. I don't care about anything when planning a wedding. Zhang Han is in charge. One of my girlfriends warned me at that time that you were so indifferent to the most important wedding in your life. Are you sure you need this marriage?

After two years of marriage, our daughter was born, but it was an unfortunate beginning of our family life. Zhang Han's family is a single biography of three generations. He and his family dream of having a boy.

After my daughter was born, Zhang Han's attitude was always faint, just like facing other people's children, while his parents only saw the children once when I was confined to the moon, and then disappeared. Zhang Han and his family's attitude towards children soon influenced my relationship with Zhang Han. My relationship with him was very weak. After my daughter's full moon, I seldom talk to him, as if I were too lazy to talk.

When my daughter was two years old, after a long cold war, I angrily said to Zhang Han, "Why don't we stop here?" ? There is no point in continuing like this. Unexpectedly, Zhang Han agreed happily. That's it. In 2006, at the age of 30, I became a single mother with a daughter.

My daughter makes them feel a burden.

After the divorce, I started a long blind date. I never thought, never thought, that a single woman with a daughter's emotional road would be very difficult.

Less than five months after the divorce, an old sister of my mother introduced me to a policeman who works in the Public Security Bureau. To tell the truth, I don't respect the profession of police, but I think they are very hard and have too much contact with the dark side of society. I met him in a casual teahouse. When he came in, he was wearing a short casual jacket. He is full of energy. This made me have some good feelings. He is very talkative. All night, he told me something about social life that I seldom heard, which surprised me. When we parted, he smiled and said to me, "You are very simple."

He likes me very much. He divorced two years ago and his daughter was awarded to his mother. But he was a little concerned about my daughter and joked several times that one left and the other came again. It seems that God just won't spare him. I think it's hard for a man to suddenly accept other people's children. Maybe after a long time, everything will be fine.

However, after dating for several months, I feel that he is suffocating me. No matter whether I have dinner with my colleagues and friends or have other things in the evening, as long as he calls, the first sentence must be: "Where?" With who? Why? "It's like a police audit. I was disgusted with him and reminded him several times, but he smiled and said, "If you don't keep track of your girlfriend's movements in time, you won't have a professional standard. "

Once, a male classmate from my college days came to Dalian on business. At dinner, we all recalled my first boyfriend. Maybe I suddenly found an outlet for my feelings and talked with him a lot, including my failed marriage. Unconsciously, it's past eleven o'clock at night. At this moment, the police called and asked me where I was. With who? I hung up the phone in a hurry, but I didn't get out of the sad scene I heard and didn't want to talk to him any more.

Then on the way home, the police kept calling me, but I didn't answer several times. Later, when I got tired of seeing taxi drivers, I took it. Unexpectedly, his tone was extremely harsh: "You must tell me clearly who you are with." His harsh voice made me uncomfortable, as if I had done something bad. I turned off my cell phone and didn't answer him.

He hasn't contacted me since.

Although our breakup was peaceful, it still made me sad for a long time. After more than half a year, I met a university teacher introduced by a friend's husband. The teacher is gentle and ordinary. When we first met, he came straight after class with his laptop. He said there was a lot of information in the computer, and he never put it in the car. If you lose it, it will be too much trouble. I ordered a cup of green tea from 25 yuan when I ordered a drink. The teacher asked the waiter in detail where and when it was produced. The waiter was tongue-tied He explained that expired tea is poison and not worth the money.

Our communication is tepid. Teachers can cook and like ironing clothes. Besides attending classes, his greatest ideal is to be awarded the title of professor and then retire. My mother commented that he was ok, but he was too cold and cautious like a woman. The teacher also told me that he divorced his wife because after she came back from studying abroad for two years, she couldn't stand his being too cautious and admired Dink, so they broke up. I think it's good, too I think it's good to find a husband who stays at home.

More than half a year passed quickly, and we began to prepare for the wedding. Just as the preparatory work was about to be completed, the teacher suddenly put forward a condition: I hope to send my daughter to my parents' house after marriage. "I have thought it over carefully. I don't want to be a stepfather as soon as I get married. In addition, I want to have my own children. " I was stunned. He has been in contact with me for so long, knowing that I regard my daughter as my life, but making such a condition is simply unacceptable to me.

My association with the teacher ended here, leaving me with a lingering dislike for him.

The life of a single woman is also wonderful.

After my teacher, I dated several men. What makes me hard to accept is that they all show more or less disgust for my daughter. One of the men advised me to find a way to raise a daughter for my ex-husband. It's hard for me to understand why a man loves me when he can't even accept my little daughter.

In the past two years, I have never seen a blind date. Besides working, I study in a university in my spare time. In my spare time, my daughter and I will go to learn English, travel and practice yoga with some friends. For me, reading books and listening to music are good enjoyment. My girlfriend advised me to find a home while I am young, otherwise the older I get, the harder it will be to find. My parents also advised me that I am not lonely with my children now, and I will be lonely when my children grow up. This is why young couples always come together.

I agree with them, but I also understand that my love has never appeared with the death of my first boyfriend. I hope to find a full-time husband, but we still need even a little love, because such a marriage will have temperature, otherwise what is the difference between this and my first marriage?

I am a strange woman in the eyes of my colleagues and friends around me. I appreciate a sentence: I live to meet beauty. If it's not beautiful, what's the regret of missing it?

[Editor's comment]

Although married with a daughter, Lin's mentality is the same as that of many people who hate marrying older girls: lack is better than abuse. The difference is that because she had a marriage experience and her daughter filled her life, her mind was more peaceful. But looking back at her love marriage, we can find that although Lin is very satisfied with her life, she actually has her own problems in the process. Because her first boyfriend died early, Lin didn't really devote herself to the first marriage and subsequent feelings, which is the reason why her ex-husband was cold to her and her daughter, and why she never met a good one.

In our short life, everyone wants to meet their own beauty, but beauty, like opportunity, needs to be discovered with a beautiful heart. We sincerely wish Lin meet her own beauty.