Tang Hede and his friends recalled that after suffering from depression, Leslie Cheung's body was abnormal, chronic gastrointestinal diseases worsened, stomach pains and acid reflux occurred from time to time, and he often suffered from insomnia, nightmares at night and even hallucinations and auditory hallucinations. He always feels that someone is pushing him around. Gradually, people around him also found Leslie Cheung's abnormality, because he sometimes behaves abnormally, does not respond to other people's questions, sometimes has a bad temper, talks to himself, and even often asks people around him for no reason: "Did you just talk to me?" "All kinds of different shapes are completely different from those that are lively and kind in peacetime. His agent and good friend Chen Shufen said ... you can't imagine how much he wants to get better. He has been seeing a doctor. He can't accept the fact that he has this disease because he has everything. Now he has chosen his favorite job. How can such a person have depression? I can't imagine. No one else will believe it. How is that possible? Chen Shufen: I'm sure he thinks so himself. He doesn't want to be a … because he really doesn't know when he will be well, and the doctor can't tell him. He is losing control of his situation. Different diseases at different stages made him miserable. He still has a lot of work to do, but he dare not promise others to do it, because what if he can't finish the work because of illness? I am most afraid that if something happens in public, what will he look like when others write about him? He really doesn't want these things to happen to him, so this choice (crying) ... I know, in fact, he is very reluctant. He just wants to get better soon. The doctor said it was okay to drink some red wine, but he didn't drink it at all because he wanted to get better soon. He is sensitive to everything and wants to get better soon. My friend met my brother in the hotel a week before he left. His face is gray, something is wrong. My brother suffers from depression and mania. His mood will peak for a while, and then fall to the bottom. It's hard and uncontrollable, and he doesn't know when he will get sick. This is the worst depression. I know my brother's mentality very well. It is difficult for people who have not suffered from this disease to understand. That kind of loneliness and helplessness, that kind of pain, is not enough for others Many people think that the cause of this disease may be self-caused, but it may not be. Many cheerful and lively people will also suffer from this disease. -Lin Jianming (radio, program host &; Leslie Cheung's friend) "Depression tormented Leslie Cheung so much. At the beginning of the disease, he only felt that his chest was stabbed by a sharp weapon, which was very painful and helpless. They said he was crying in pain in his room. Not knowing that he had depression, he tried every means to help himself, including asking God for advice. Later, at the suggestion of Tang Sheng and a group of friends, he went to see a doctor and took medicine. But in the end ... "-Cha Xiaoxin (radio host &; Leslie Cheung's friend) Li Bihua: That must not be you! I don't believe it. You have always been afraid of death, heights, beauty and figure. You often do gym, play ball, play mahjong, travel, taste red wine and enjoy life. I can't imagine how much courage and determination you need when you choose to jump from the 24th floor-as everyone knows, the result is liver and brain everywhere, and blood splashes everywhere ... On this day, I especially hated a stranger who smashed an iron bar outside the Mandarin Hotel (your body abruptly bent the solid metal) and washed away the one you left with a fierce water column and scattered red flowers. You go with the water and disappear instantly. I hate his behavior. You are covered in blood, wrapped in a whole piece of white cloth, and the blood oozes out, just like rouge. Put on the last touch of heavy makeup for your pale breath. Later, you were covered by a long bamboo basket and sent from the morgue to the funeral home. Later, you were put into a special and extremely comfortable precious coffin. Later, you went to put out the fire. It's depressing to see that some websites or articles reported that "Leslie Cheung (deceased)" was written, and the words with simple strokes in brackets. A person was born, grew up, worked hard, struggled upward, was welcomed by the masses, gained both fame and fortune, and mixed emotions ... After more than 40 years of storms, there is still a long way to go. It only took a week, or even a second, and everything became the past. It was the end of March 2002, a brilliant and charming day before you got sick. It's not unheard of for artists to give lectures in universities, but students will never forget your eloquence and laughter. Write it down quietly. There are many young people who admire you except those who grew up in their thirties and forties. I hope they love your singing skills, acting skills and looks, and also learn from your advantages: serious work attitude, punctuality, respect for elders, intelligence and sensibility, bold innovation, friendliness and courtesy, and all pursuit of perfection. -Li Bihua (a famous Hong Kong writer, who wrote Rouge Kou and Farewell My Concubine, etc. ) Expert: He treated me here for a period of time and began to take western medicine. The effect was average, but the side effects were great. Later, there was a stage to consider changing to Chinese medicine. Once we gave him medicine for six days, and his family (Mr. Tang) asked to prescribe it on the third day. I said don't take too much even Chinese medicine, let alone take too much. As a result, he said that my brother didn't eat alone, but I (Mr. Tang) accompanied him. Because the medicine for treating depression must be taken on time and quantitatively, but sometimes my brother refuses to take medicine as soon as he has an attack, saying that the medicine is poisonous. As a result, in order to convince his younger brother that there was no poison in the medicine and coax him to eat it, Mr. Tang had to take a sip by himself and feed it to his younger brother, so that one person could drink the medicine of two people. I advise Mr. Tang to think of other ways, and never continue to take medicine like this, which will have toxic and side effects. Mr. Tang promised me, and I prescribed medicine for another three days. In the following months, Mr. Tang didn't ask me to increase the dosage every time. I thought he had thought of another way, but a few months later, Mr. Tang asked me if I could prescribe something for his headache and heartburn. I didn't know until I asked. He had taken him to take medicine for several months. My niece Mai Jiaxuan's eulogy: "My uncle is a very hard-working person and will never give up when encountering setbacks. No matter how many prizes he won, he won't stop. My uncle is good at setting the trend. His advantage is that he is a good example for us in any industry, and he is sincere to his family and uncle. I remember when I was nine years old, my mother called my uncle to our home to help us girls with their lessons. He comes to my house by tram and bus every week and tries his best to teach us every time. I remember once he took us to Daimaru Company to see the doll pencil case. I know he didn't have much money at that time, so he used most of his savings to buy us these two gifts. "Last year, my uncle asked me to visit my mother-in-law. I know he is ill and depressed. I tried my best to stay with him, listen to his worries, watch the pain caused by depression and feel all the pain. My uncle said that when his career was depressed (1983), you supported him the most (at this time, my niece's eyes were fixed on Mr. Tang) and lent him a few months to tide over the difficulties. " "I saw you. When your uncle is ill, how do you take care of him, care for him and accompany him? I hope he will recover soon. He is blessed to have such a good partner. I'm here to represent him. Thank you sincerely! No matter how sad we are, I believe we won't be sad with you. If my uncle doesn't give up on us, I believe you are the one who will give up on him the most. Although he left us, I believe that people who love him will understand his choice. A few weeks before he left us, I visited him once. He hugged me and said, "You should live a good life! "! I'm here to say this for him and all his friends who love him: "He wants us to live a good life. The niece said in the thank-you letter that Uncle Ten suddenly hugged his two sisters and cried a week before committing suicide, saying, "I am so hard." She continued, "Uncle Ten left us today. I remember that he had a lot to learn from me. He loves me very much. Thanks to my uncle for teaching me to be a man and love my relatives and friends. She said: She went to see my uncle at his house a week before he committed suicide. At that time, the tenth uncle was ill and looked very hard, but he still said to her, "You know, I love you very much, so you should live a good life anyway." Finally, she said that the two sisters had a card for their tenth uncle. She gently read the words on the card in English: "Thank you for your kindness, your concern, your smile, your love ..." "I am a lover. The following year, Farewell My Concubine won the Best Film Award in the Palme d 'Or at the French Film Festival. On the day of the award, Guo Rong called me. He said, Nana Ogawa, you are my benefactor. I wouldn't be so beautiful without your makeup. Now that I think about it, I don't paint very well ... In those years, Guo Rong came to the mainland more often. Once, Guo Rong and many friends came to my house to play. Everyone sat on the floor, lit candles and listened to his records. Guo Rong asked me which one I liked best. I said' Lonely Night' and he asked if you had heard the Mandarin version. I said no, and he sang it to us. Guo Rong's voice is hoarse and deep, but he is really singing emotionally. He said that every time he sang a song, he would think of one thing. Last year, I toured the mainland with Guo Rong. After each performance, he asked me how I felt. I said, Guo Rong, I'm not complimenting you. You are an artist. You have an expression in every movement and a story in your eyes. Guo Rong loves watching Peking Opera. Once he came to Beijing to watch my performance, it was a great sensation. At the end of the performance, Guo Rong said to me, "Nana Ogawa, you must never change careers. You are very popular on the stage, that's what you eat. How are mom and dad? How about Teacher Zhang and Teacher Shi? Once, I told him that Teacher Shi was ill and had cholangiocarcinoma. He said I had to see him. On the day Guo Rong went, Mr. Shi sang a song about a man who was born in Vu Thang. He is strong and never cries. He cried that day ... Guo Rong was four years older than me. He always tells me to be kind and tolerant. Considering these words, he didn't think that he would commit suicide. Before the Spring Festival this year, Guo Rong came to Beijing. Do you want to have a rest? I don't see the way the media rumors broke up. Natural intimacy and affection cannot be faked. Guo Rong is very face to face with life. He never talks about his private life in front of others, and he never cares about other people's comments. But he has always been very bitter about Hong Kong. Once, he almost had an accident to avoid paparazzi. I think these things will definitely affect their mood. But 18 is not enough to break up their feelings. Before the Spring Festival this year, Guo Rong came to Beijing and asked me out for dinner. Mr. Tang was there that day, as well as Na Ying, Na Ying's sister and a group of friends. Guo Rong was very enthusiastic to see me. He said, Nana Ogawa, come and sit next to me and we'll talk. But because there are many men and women, some words are not convenient to elaborate. I used to be with Guo Rong. Later, I felt that I couldn't open it. Before 12, Guo Rong said that I had to go back to my room to rest. A few days later in the afternoon, Guo Rong called me twice. I was rehearsing. When the gongs and drums of Beijing Opera ring, my mobile phone can't hear them at all. When I called, my cell phone was no longer in the service area, and no one answered the phone at home. Later, I thought that he must have something to say that day. Maybe it will ease his pain. But now, it's too late to say anything ... I'm afraid the deserted Guo Rong is a very strong person. He has been through so much in the past. How did he get to this point? Once, Guo Rong said to me, Nana Ogawa, I'm afraid of being cold and cheerless. When I am lonely, I will think of many things. I know Guo Rong. He is easily injured. The obstruction of stealing his heart must have caused him to fall into a low mood, thus thinking that his career has not been smooth in recent years, that he is old, and that he is forced by paparazzi every day. Guo Rong is afraid of heights, I think, if it weren't for a moment, his emotions could not be controlled, he wouldn't. We must have the power to love others. Guo Rong is in great need of communication and is eager for warmth. He hoped that everyone around him would accompany him, but he left us alone, which was very distressing. I don't know if Guo Rong will feel lonely in another world. I hope that the people we left behind, our love and nostalgia will make Guo Rong feel warm. Chen Kexin: "I think he is a Hollywood actor and a great actor. I really think that the film circle in Hong Kong actually includes his life style, including his perfectionism. In fact, he is older than us in all fields. I usually write a script first, and then find an actor, but after I have Leslie Cheung as an actor, I will consider the script. "Golden Branches and Jade Leaves" is the biggest of my subjects, and the music world is a singer. These are bigger than ordinary life. Why is there such a big stage because of Leslie Cheung? Leslie Cheung didn't come alone. He is a fairy. Without him, I wouldn't have thought of this theme at all. This is actually the least like my play. Perhaps in the eyes of many people, Leslie Cheung's plays are a bit exaggerated. This exaggeration is not comedy exaggeration, but "too perfect". He always gives a little more than we ask, but in Hong Kong, we are too narrow-minded about his perfectionism, his private life and his acting skills. Chen Kexin, director Carina Lau: My brother is my private good friend. He is both naughty and greedy. He is very demanding on his work and kind to his friends, but he needs love. He is a strong and fragile man. He is really demanding of himself. Before, my brother and I lived in the same building. He always feels cheerful and gentle. He has always had his own pursuit of art, and because of this, his pressure is increasing. In fact, as an artist, he has done really well, but he still feels that everything he has done has not reached the goal height, and his requirements for himself are really too high. Guan: Leslie Cheung is a sensitive person. He cares about you more than you care about him. But when we care about him, he suddenly becomes like a child and needs your protection. Tsui Hark: When we edited the MV "The Wind is Blowing", we saw Leslie Cheung's expression and found that he looked like a child. We have been looking for some contrast shots to see how different a mature Leslie is from Leslie more than ten years ago. At this time, it is found that Leslie in these two stages has one thing in common, that is, she has been in a state of "growing up" and has an immature personality unlike an adult. Because when we are looking for a mature appearance and expression, we will always find that his so-called mature appearance is actually just a little beard or looks tired. In the end, you will find that he will always be a child. Tsui Hark: Leslie Cheung lives near me. He leads his dog. Every time I see him, he is very happy. He is very enthusiastic. I will hug, laugh and talk for a long time when I see him. We often eat and chat together. We meet twice a week. I don't think he left. I think I will meet him in the street one day. On the day of the funeral, I thought he really died. I didn't know he was really dead until I saw the coffin. Instead, I said a lot of vague words. I wrote it on paper in advance. I'm afraid my mind will be confused. I practice reading at home, and I can't help myself every time I finish reading. I said he was really dead, as if you really thought he was dead. I wrote it, but I can't understand it. I can't watch every two paragraphs. (Silence) Later, I read it at the funeral, and no one could understand what I read. I said that Leslie Cheung's smile deceived us. I thought he was a very happy man, but he never said what was in his heart. Tsui Hark: Leslie Cheung always makes people feel very sweet. Once, when I was depressed, he was very sweet and happy to comfort me on a long-distance phone call. In the last month, I have been busy preparing a film with Leslie. In fact, I never imagined that a month later, the play didn't start, and he became a part of my memory. He makes me feel that life is as wonderful as the moon. After this month, we will never hear from him again, nor will we see his usual childish smile. The cloudy air in April flashed by, and sometimes I wish this ruthless April in 2003 didn't exist. If possible, maybe, call Leslie today, and the other party's response is full of energy and optimism. Maybe he will try to comfort you when he tells you that he is unhappy. John Woo: Actually, he is passionate about life, but he never lets others know his true feelings. He always brings happiness and laughter to everyone, but he faces the pain alone and never lets anyone know his sadness and unhappiness. He always thinks of others, so I never know how he really feels. So when we are together, I think he is a passionate person who loves life. He is really a great man, and our past friendship is full of beautiful memories. So many times, he will tell me his real experience and even his love life. He respects me very much, even regards me as his mentor and friend, and even respects me as a teacher. I think this role is a true portrayal of Leslie Cheung. I mean, he smiled at someone and cried. The theme of Crossing the World is simple, that is, caring for each other. Many people wonder that such an optimistic and handsome person will choose to jump off a building, but forget that optimistic people will also get hurt. He doesn't like the world anymore. Even though he is popular all over the world and people always find fault with him, he is still injured in his success. Even the newspaper report on April 2 is still making up his story. So, do you understand? What's wrong with true love? Publicly admit what's wrong with the person you love? How many artists are lying and denying their lovers in order to keep their fans possessive? Leslie doesn't care. He won't deny the person he loves. Every artistic breakthrough, there are people who don't know the so-called picky. With what? Ignorance, staid? Jealous? -Lin Yanni, Leslie Cheung's good friend Zhang Manling (a famous artist of Tsing Yi School in China Peking Opera Theatre): I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I think this must be a rumor. Later, Song Xiaochuan called me, and I believed him. This is a bolt from the blue. It's shocking. I'm very upset. I always feel that he is still floating there and hasn't found a home yet. He left so sad. 24th floor, think how painful it is! So, I love him, I really love him. What a pity such a good man! But it's so out of character. Why? My husband Shi and I met when filming Farewell My Concubine on 1993, when we were his Peking Opera teachers. After studying drama for more than a month, he practiced on the set for four hours every morning, and then went back to the hotel to continue practicing. Even when everyone is eating together, he is thinking about action. Sometimes when he thinks of something, he quietly asks me, "Teacher Zhang, look at my action, don't you?" He learned to play like an innocent child. He was very happy when he was praised. I criticized him when his actions were not in place. He told me, Mr. Zhang, I can't do it well today. You can read it tomorrow, and I will do it well. The next day, he came back, really, the action was in place. I have never dealt with art. In order to play the role of Yu Ji well, he has to practice catwalk even when walking. You could say he's obsessed or something. Anyway, I've never seen such a dedicated person. Whenever he comes to Beijing, no matter how busy he is, he will come to see me. Even if he sits for a while, chats, or takes me to dinner, everyone is very happy and kind. Every Spring Festival, we talk on the phone. Guo Rong is a person who needs love, warmth and sincerity. In front of us, he is particularly naive, like a child. As soon as he arrived at my house, he sat on the floor, knelt on the ground and chatted freely with us. Every time he comes to my house, I bake him radish cakes. The child ate delicious food. What I will never forget is his character. 1998, my wife got cancer. Guo Rong heard the news and then Beijing visited him. My wife was having an intravenous drip at home. As soon as she entered the door, she hugged him and called him Mr. Shi. To tell the truth, my wife was a very strong person, but she cried at once. I see Guo Rong's eyes are red, too. I know he doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want to influence Mr. Shi. He smiled and said, Mr. Shi, you will be fine. At that time, my wife couldn't eat every day. Guo Rong advised him, Mr. Shi, you must eat well, as I eat so much. I'll give you whatever you want to eat. Then, I found a small bench and sat next to my husband, holding his hand and accompanying him from 10 am to 4 pm. Later, Nana Ogawa told me that Guo Rong took three pieces of paper out of his pocket and burned it in the corridor. It turns out that according to the rules and customs of Hong Kong, it was inappropriate to go out to visit patients in those days. None of these Guo Rong told me. Ah ... Now that they are all gone, looking at their photos, I thought to myself, Guo Rong, don't be afraid, let your history teacher take good care of you. I remember one time when I went to Hongkong, Brigitte Lin invited me to her home. She took my hand and said, "Teacher Zhang, there are not many good people like Guo Rong in the entertainment circle. Not only does Brigitte Lin feel this way, but I personally think that Guo Rong is a very caring person, whether it is an old man, a friend or a child. " I am not a saint, and I am not qualified to preach. I have always been honest with others, but the fortune teller criticized me for being honest with others, while others falsely accused me. I've been in this circle for too long and I'm used to it. When I sang the last song "I" all night, I said, "In recent years, many people have hurt me, not only my relatives and lovers, but also understand that I am an artist, but all of them are ordinary people. I can't help but deal with it, face it ... don't hurt me again. But thank you for your support over the years. God is fair, whether you are male or female … "-God created people fairly, regardless of gender, race, black and white. Some people like cats, some people like dogs, and some people like special people, so that they can be happy. As long as they are happy, why can't we help them ... "(The audience immediately shouted: Help you! )-Hong Kong Concert "I hope that people who cooperate with me in the future will cherish the time of cooperation with each other and feel that it is very happy and fun to cooperate with my brother. At least, when people mention me, someone will say happily: Yes, there is nothing wrong with my brother. At least at work, no one can poison me. -In July 2000, Leslie Cheung talked about his 23 years in business. "To help others, it is better to ask others to help me; I am a very upright and self-respecting person. I am most afraid of asking for help. In this life, I would rather eat less and Dont Ask For Help. " "How dare you say the word regret? I think it will be a blessing, and I will become a positive person. I have sound limbs, a kind heart and a successful career. In this world, having health and happiness is actually more important than anything else. In July 2000, someone asked me if I had any regrets in my life.