Wang Xiaoqian said that the famous psychotherapist M. Scott Pike once said: "Only by making appropriate changes to continuously improve the personality and mind, can we shoulder the responsibility of being a parent." Becoming a parent is not only a change in identity, but also a change in identity.

It means joining a marathon of self-correction. Only by constantly improving oneself, rather than rushing to mold children, can one gradually assume the responsibility of being a parent.

However, not every parent has a sense of growth, so many parents are very passive and only know how to solve their children's problems, but do not seek the root of the problem.

Not every parent is competent at the beginning, but they mature step by step through continuous pursuit.

There are four levels of being a parent: The first level is those who are willing to spend money for their children, focusing on raising them materially; the second level are those who are willing to spend time and satisfy them emotionally; the third level are those who are willing to learn for their children, and ***

Progress; the fourth level is willingness to make changes in order to achieve children's success.

Which floor are you on?

The first level: Willing to spend money on children and focus on material upbringing. Many parents are willing to spend money on their children and think that they are responsible for their children.

As long as the child opens his mouth, he is willing to be satisfied with everything, including food, clothing, housing and transportation, and everything is provided to the best.

There are all kinds of interest classes that other families have for their children, but I am not left behind in any of them, not to mention the fact that I can get housing in a sadly expensive school district.

However, material accumulation cannot achieve good education.

Children have no concept of obtaining money. If they are blindly satisfied with material things, they will not know how to cherish it, cannot understand the difficulty of making money for their parents, and will not learn to be grateful.

If parents value material satisfaction, it will be difficult for their children to learn to pursue spiritual wealth, and they will easily become vain and poor at heart.

Secondly, enrolling in a large number of interest classes is often based on the wishes of the parents rather than the love of the children.

I remember that in "The Story of a Young Man", there was a little boy named Zhou Zihao. He was originally timid and easily nervous, but he found the courage to complain about his mother in public.

Zihao didn't understand why his mother enrolled him in as many as 12 interest classes, including Mathematical Olympiad, calligraphy, etc. There were even many interest classes that he couldn't even name.

Zihao hopes that his mother will reduce his burden and give him time to rest.

Mothers sign up for so many interest classes, but there are very few that the child really likes. Forcing him to study will not only be ineffective, but also "steal" the child's precious childhood.

If parents sign up for classes according to their own wishes, children who are forced to study will feel aggrieved, will not be understood, cannot freely express their wishes, and will easily become alienated from their parents.

Providing material conditions for children cannot be equated with love. We emphasize material and educational forms but lack the companionship of love. Children are emotionally deprived and their psychological growth often lags behind.

It is more important to meet children's psychological and emotional needs than to provide good material conditions.

The second level is willing to spend time for the child and meet the emotional needs. The child is like a small tree, and the company of his parents is the soil for him to take root.

Spending time with your child and satisfying his emotional needs is to provide his soul with growth nutrients.

Children who grow up under the company and attention of their parents have a sense of security, confidence and sunshine.

On the contrary, it is easy to feel uneasy and have more negative energy.

Wang Tao once recalled his growth experience in "Freshman Diary".

When I was a child, my father spent all his energy on his career and paid little attention to himself.