Media, internet and traffic have made this once hidden "big brother" really popular, and many "enthusiastic" people really want to help him live a "normal life".

The bustling crowd is watching, taking pictures and offering help, but Brother Daxie needs someone who can understand himself, a society that can tolerate himself, and a quiet life that is not disturbed or disturbed by others-this is too extravagant.

"Lonely? I know loneliness too well ... "

Brother Huan Teng doesn't understand the world, and the world doesn't understand him.

Recently, it disappeared after returning to the north from Fuzhou. It seems that it has never been popular and has never been here.

"Big Brother" is saying goodbye, saying goodbye to people who are out of place, saying goodbye to grandstanding and saying goodbye to the unbearable past.

From now on, there is a high probability that "Big Brother" will no longer be popular. This may be a good thing.

Bye, big brother.

Some time ago, Brother Daxie returned to Qingdao from the island city of Fuzhou, where he lived for more than 60 years.

After returning to Qingdao, "Brother Daxie" disappeared, and no one knew where he lived and how to live next. Winter has come again in this seaside city, but the spring in his life never seems to pass.

On 20 12, the news that an old house caught fire spread from Qingdao to the whole country. In the news, over 50 years old, he appeared in front of the camera in gorgeous women's clothes and heavy makeup-it was his residence that caught fire.

At that time, although the TV station only gave him a few seconds of footage, "Big Brother" became the focus of the whole news because she disguised as a man. Finally, the host ended the program with a meaningful sentence:

"What's going on? I want to ask more than just fire. "

From then on, people began to look at everything about "big brother" with curious eyes, and many "legends" were born.

Name, birthplace, marriage and even gender, discussions and rumors have created many "big brothers" from different angles, and curious people try to find out why he is different.

Sad or happy, good or bad, the experience of "Big Brother" began to be marked and given some far-reaching topics. But the reality is that his stories are far richer than "labels".

0 1

Name, job, disability

The misunderstanding started with the name "Big Brother".

In the overwhelming reports in the future, his real name was written as "Liu" or "Liu", but it was written as "Liu" on his identity card.

His name has been changed several times by the outside world except his surname. It's nobody's fault, after all, even "Big Brother" himself knows little about this name.

Liu seems destined to be a person with no "home". In the diaries written by himself, he described his first experience in this world like this:

My father was drunk and abusive, and my mother threw herself into the well in a rage. The father was disheartened by this. After giving away all the children, there was no news, and he was thrown into the railway station wrapped in a quilt.

When he was separated from his biological parents, Liu was still in infancy, so these "past events" came from hearsay, and the authenticity was unknown, but it was his only "contact" with his old friends.

Liu's understanding of "home" comes from his foster mother. Many years ago, this kind lady found him at the railway station. Although there are seven sons in the family, she decided to take them back. "I thought I couldn't keep it alive. I didn't expect it to grow up."

When Liu was growing up, poverty was something that everyone would experience. Survival became a top priority, so he barely finished junior high school and was pushed to the society. "I am also an educated person", and Liu always feels sweet when he thinks about it.

After leaving school, Liu was assigned to a service station as a coolie. Later, it became the 19th Clothing Factory, but his work content has not changed. "Pulling a cart and carrying heavy objects" ran through his whole career, and at that time such an experience was unremarkable.

However, in the early 1990s, this plain story took a turning point-Liu was laid off.

"I didn't expect, I didn't expect, I really didn't expect." He used three "unexpected" words to describe his accident, helplessness and regret at that time. Today, such complicated emotions still affect him. "I wanted to wear women's clothes at that time."

When Liu left the garment factory, he was less than 40 years old and was still a "young and strong labor force". So he went to the construction site, ready to continue to work as a coolie to make a living, but after only a few months, he stumbled on the way to pay.

In order to get back his salary, Liu was beaten a lot. The worker who had agreed to discuss the argument together gave up because he couldn't see hope, but he persisted.

Later, the "argument" turned into a "group fight", and he still didn't get a penny. Pain became his only reward in this job.

There is no hope of working as a coolie. Liu Qu delivers newspapers, stands and works as a waiter. After all failure, he began to lose his breath, but failed to bypass the meal by strength.

When delivering gasoline, his vehicle was an old motorcycle. In order to earn more money in a short time, he often rides his bike very fast and has an accident.

Late at night, Liu was in a car accident. He ran into a bus that was also speeding. Although he survived, he left a lifelong disability, a disability that all men can't talk about.

"No one came to see me, and I didn't get any compensation."

"How can I be polite? I can't mention it. "

It was at this time that Liu began to feel lonely.

02

Foster mother, brother, house

Liu has seven brothers, all of whom are foster mothers. He is the youngest and has always lived at home. The formation of "7+ 1" brothers made them have nothing to say since childhood, and they didn't talk much after marriage.

When the foster mother was seriously ill, Liu also looked for several brothers. But his brothers are all dead and old, and several of them are missing. He has no choice but to shoulder the responsibility of supporting the elderly alone.

The foster mother suffered from pancreatic cancer and was found to be in the advanced stage. The doctor asked him if he had recovered. He thought about it and finally nodded. From hospitalization to nursing, he didn't calculate how much it cost. He only remembered that the hospital wanted it, so he gave it, borrowed it out of his pocket, and then gradually reached the point of selling a house.

Before 2000, Liu lived in an old building in the old street of Qingdao. His home was 20 square meters. In the past, adults and children were crowded inside, which was not decent, but it actually carried some family warmth, but now it has vanished.

"Do you think I want to? After much consideration, I finally decided to sell (the house). No way, really no way. "

Because of the urgent need for money, Liu's asking price for the old house is not high, but even so, the figure was pressed to 200 thousand when it was officially sold. Because the buyer is introduced by a friend, it is considered "filial piety" to agree to bargain. Even if you know that money will not change anything, many of them are "sooner or later"

On the day of house transfer, Liu received RMB 654.38 million from the buyer. He asked for the rest of the money. The other party lied that it would be given after completing the formalities, and the result disappeared from sight. He also thought about using litigation to defend his rights, but without a receipt and a contract, all the businesses in one mouth are not even evidence. Thinking of this, he gave up again.

In the next few decades, I will often visit Liu's old house.

House prices there have gone up and the house has become a scenic spot. Many people will take pictures in front of this house. He seldom goes near it for fear of scaring tourists. Most of the time, he just looked at his former home across the street quietly, never talking or crying.

To some extent, this is the last evidence that Liu exists in this world.

After borrowing money to sell the house, Liu tried his best to prolong his adoptive mother's life for only four and a half months. The woman who gave him "home" still left.

I don't know where the brothers who haven't heard from before got the news, so they found Liu one by one. They blamed their younger brother for selling the house and asked him where all the money at home had gone. He explained for a long time, but "the two brothers still turned against each other for this."

Someone asked him if he was worth it. He replied, "Is it worth it? I tried my best. " Speaking of this, he always tears, not because he is distressed by the house and the money, but because he feels "very unfilial."

After his mother left, Liu felt that "the sky fell and the ground sank". Whenever the dead of night, he is particularly lonely, thinking about getting married, expecting someone's care and consideration.

03

"Silly wife", women's dress, contradiction

Liu once had a marriage, which lasted only half a year and ended hastily.

At that time, Liu met a single mother through a friend's introduction. Because of some mental defects, women have problems in speaking and taking care of themselves.

Liu hesitated after learning about this, but later found out that "the other party doesn't want a bride price, a house or a car, but just wants someone to take care of her", which is exactly what he wants-in fact, he just wants to find a partner.

After spending some time together, Liu married a woman. There is a difference of ten years between them, one just turned 40 and the other was 30 when he got the license. Liu thinks this is also a kind of fate.

After the marriage, Liu took his wife to several hospitals. He originally wanted to cure her illness and live a stable life, but he went to several hospitals and said, "If it is not cured, it is estimated that he will be stupid for a lifetime." Hearing this, he hesitated again.

"I don't listen, I stuff everything in my mouth and run to the hospital every day." After a few months, Liu gradually felt a little "uncontrollable" and thought about it. He filed for divorce. The woman's family readily agreed, went through the formalities every few days, and got divorced.

There is another saying about Liu's marriage: Some people say that his family was originally happy, but only because his wife witnessed his daughter's death in a car accident did she go insane and disappear.

In this regard, Liu himself only vaguely said a few words, and the information was too scattered to piece together a complete story.

No one knows the truth of the matter, and everyone only sees that Liu is alone again.

If changing into women's clothes is a "breakthrough" for men, then the last barrier between Liu and this breakthrough is the "stupid wife" who once gave him short-term hope.

After that, he completely compromised, or "rebelled against life" in another form-he began to wander, began to scavenge, and began to show people in women's clothes.

When Liu was 9 years old, he first realized that he liked women's clothes. When attending the art festival, he looked at the little girls around him all dressed up and admired them.

Perhaps out of curiosity or real desire, he secretly tried to disguise himself as a man intermittently in the process of growing up, but because he cared about other people's eyes, he never went out, just hid at home and enjoyed himself.

Later, my parents died, my brothers broke up and my marriage ended. Liu thinks it's time to "see the sun through the dark clouds", because there is no "others" in the world, only himself.

Only by looking at Liu from the perspective of "not seeking meaning" can we realize the contradiction and helplessness he hides behind "women's clothing"

"I like dressing up and wearing women's clothes since I was a child."

"I thought everything was going well. If it is, I will definitely not wear women's clothes. "

These two seemingly diametrically opposite words all came from Liu's mouth. This contradiction cannot be defined as lying, because everyone has the right to live a normal life, because anyone may be teased by life again and again.

This so-called "normality" includes the consistency between soul and body, as well as the consistency between hobbies and reality, but obviously any one is too difficult for Liu.

If Liu can understand his life, even if it is only a small fragment, onlookers can find the place of * * * in it.

Grievance, helplessness, loneliness, indifference, regret, accident ... His life composition is as complicated as others.

Slightly different, some of the most common things have become extremely difficult for him. "I deserve this world, but it always makes me sad." Liu said to him, "This may be fate."

04

Dumb, "dead", nameless person

In Liu's memory, he had 2 1 partners before and after. Among them, the most impressive one should be the mute who is kind to him.

When he met the mute, Liu had been showing people women's clothes for nearly 12 years. That afternoon, he was collecting the rubbish he had picked up before in his residence, and suddenly a man hugged him tightly from behind. He tried to break free, but in vain, he went back to communicate with men.

Because they can't speak, their conversation depends entirely on "gestures". Liu doesn't know sign language, so he can only piece together each other's intentions through dumb body movements and handwritten notes. "I adore you" and "Let's live together" are the few words that Liu Neng "listens" to understand. "I knew what it meant then."

Liu He began to live together. In my impression, men are very family-oriented. "As soon as he gets the money, he will go home to buy food and drink." He also wants to buy some cosmetics and clothes for Liu.

Before that, Liu got all the necessities of life by scavenging. This kind of consumption and choice behavior vaguely made him regain some sense of control over his life, and he once again began to yearn for stability.

That is, two years later, the mute disappeared without any warning or reason. Liu only knew that he was "in trouble and was locked up." As for what he caused, where he was locked up, and whether he would regain his freedom, he knew nothing.

In Liu's world, there is no such thing as "goodbye". "I don't have any plans. When I die, everything will be over. "

He seems to realize something.

If the end of life is forgetting, then the moment when the mute disappears is the moment when Liu comes to the end of the world.

The last person who remembered him in the world left, and Liu Ye was "dead" and replaced by "Brother Daxie".

Before he became Liu's "big brother", he didn't have a name for a while. At that time, he was picking up garbage in the street, wearing a very bright women's dress and no delicate makeup on his face. The long hair left for a long time was not taken care of, and it was tangled into two braids with different thicknesses on his shoulders.

This kind of dress can't reach the standard of "normal", so he became a "monster" in the street. Fear, disgust, curiosity, these are the eyes he got, and no one wants to communicate with him.

Neighbors call him a "man in women's clothes", while nearby residents call him a "rag-picker's mental illness". Passers-by silently looked at the photo, and then hurried over.

"I want to communicate, but nobody cares about me" until 20 12 was on fire.

When the fire goes out, people catch fire.

05

Fire, "mobile phone", network celebrity

The media's initial understanding of Liu came from the sudden fire.

"I left after putting out the fire. I really put out the fire. " He hurriedly explained.

It is not difficult to imagine how much influence the image of the parties will bring to the audience and friends.

Looking back at the news at that time, Liu's dress that day was no different from the women's clothes he usually wore. But for the uninformed audience, he is "wonderful" enough to cause discussion.

From that day on, Liu had another name, "Brother Daxie". Netizens thought he was funny, and "it looked very festive", so they gave him this nickname, which became the code name of his grassroots class among online celebrities.

Before being reported by the media, Liu didn't have a mobile phone, didn't know the Internet, and even rarely spoke. All his knowledge of the world comes from memories and books, and now he is suddenly at the forefront of public opinion, and he is at a loss.

More and more people find him and interview him. Liu is almost open-minded and knows everything in the face of questions. Although some communication is impolite, he doesn't object because "I have seen everything".

Of all Liu's stories, the most admirable is his story of debt collection.

Many years ago, Liu once participated in a program held for this purpose. On the show, he said:

In order to meet my mother, I borrowed nearly 6.5438+0.5 million yuan from some people. Now, he is trying to pay off his debts through scavenging and monthly subsistence allowance in 600 yuan. I hope the creditors can give him more time.

From the content point of view, this should be an ordinary livelihood program, but somehow, the program set up a link to let "Big Brother" return to men's wear at the end. On the stage, Liu accepted the transformation of the program group. He changed into decent men's clothes and put on a hat to cover his long hair. He looks "much more normal", but he doesn't smile at all. He is always silent.

Before the recording, the guests and audience encouraged him to sing a song. Liu picked up the receiver and sang in a hurry before the accompaniment started.

At that moment, the audience was laughing, but he stared at the distance and his eyes were red.

Although Liu participated in the recording of the program, he didn't get any remuneration. He will still be worried about the increase in rent. From 600 to 800 to the last 1000 yuan, when the rent has become "astronomical", he dialed Mr. Zhao's phone.

Mr. Zhao is a rich and kind man. Hearing what happened to "Big Brother", I took him to the hotel without saying anything, and promised to help him find a stable job. The only condition is to "cut off his long hair, put on men's clothes and return to normal."

For a living, I promised Liu. It was 20 16. According to Liu himself, he is 60 years old and has changed into women's clothes on 16. At this time, he has no money, no home, no friends and even long hair.

A few days later, accompanied by Zhao Liang, Liu walked into the barber shop. When two messy braids were cut off, he obviously felt something in his body suddenly pulled open, and later he learned that feeling was "regret."

Because the original hair was not taken care of for too long, the barber had to "push" it all away. Liu has become a buzz cut, and "Big Brother" seems to be dead.

06

Mr. Zhao, make-up, mirror

According to the original plan, Liu had to apply for a new identity document and credit card after cutting off his hair, but Mr. Zhao disappeared at this time.

10 days later, Liu was kicked out of the apartment property on the grounds that it would scare the children. Everything is sudden, but it is expected.

After that, Mr. Zhao never appeared again. He disappeared with Liu's long hair, and his face was full of sadness. He went back to the deepest room hidden in Qingdao Old Street Hutong again, and everything was calm.

Because there is no electricity at home, Liu has to work at sunrise and rest at sunset. At 5: 30 every morning, it is time for him to get up and freshen up.

Unlike other girls, Liu's makeup artist has no rules to follow, but it has a strong purpose. "I want to paint it thicker, or I can't cover it."

Liu Peilin loves beauty and made herself a cheongsam with 600 yuan before. And his clothes are all picked up, so there is not much choice. But he will still try to find balance and harmony in shoes, skirts and clothes.

Because there is no condition for shampooing, Liu basically doesn't take care of his hair. He pinned the colorful cartoon cards he found on his head and wore bracelets, necklaces and other ornaments. Most of the colors will match the clothes of that day, which is the time when he laughs the most in a day.

When everything was ready, Liu stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself carefully. After confirming that there is no problem, he will turn around and go out.

In the dark, holding a candle, a faint light flashed across the books piled up in every corner of the room.

Liu said that he only loves two things in his life, reading and dressing up. In literary works, he especially likes Lao She and Ba Jin. He just bought a pen in recent years and spent more than 3000 yuan. He likes to keep a diary, and he will write his thoughts on paper. Over time, these diaries are filled with more than a dozen paper boxes.

"I love life, I like reading, I like keeping a diary, I obey the law, I pay attention to honesty, I don't do anything illegal, so life should be like this."

Blow out the candles, it is already dawn, and the morning light carefully passes through the narrow alley and enters the messy room. The sun shines on the mirror, and a line written by Liu clearly emerges:

"A new day has begun, come on!"

07

End of movement

The last time the public discussed "Big Brother" on a large scale was about two years ago. Just like the last bright moment before the transition of each generation of "network celebrities", "Big Brother" also stood on the edge of being forgotten.

The last people who found Liu were a group of volunteers who wanted to do an exclusive interview with Daxie's brother. Afterwards, they became friends. Volunteers fulfilled Liu's desire to publish a book and took him to Fuzhou for treatment. I don't know when he paid off all his debts.

Enthusiastic volunteers have initiated donations and tried to set up charitable foundations for them, but in the end they all failed because they were worried that the purpose of donations was unknown.

"I personally like women's clothing, and I prefer to be a woman. This is my lifelong pursuit. There is nothing strange about it, but it is the little people who are strange. "

The netizen commented: "man's prejudice is a mountain, and difference is his original sin."

But who can be the same as who?

Last March, Daxie's brother decided to leave Qingdao. Many acquaintances rushed to the airport to say goodbye to him and cut off his last traffic as an "internet celebrity".

This time, "Big Brother" also disappeared.

Not long ago, Liu posted some selfies on social platforms. People know that he has returned to Qingdao by positioning. Where is Liu now? Does he still pick up garbage? Does he still have money? How is he? How did he face the 64th winter in his life?

Problems and legends still exist, but nobody cares this time.

"If you could start over, would you still live like this?"

"How do you start again? I am 6 1 year old this year. It is already "once the sea is difficult for water, amber forever." "

"I don't quite understand this poem."

"Don't you understand? You will understand later. "

It was also in that interview that Liu read a letter to his father for the camera:

"Dear father, I was not sensible when I was young. Nothing always makes you angry, so I feel guilty about you. Maybe the punishment of life made me lose everything, but I didn't regret it and survived. Because I know that regret is useless, and there is no regret medicine in the world. I survived because I was afraid of death. No one is not afraid of death. Death is terrible for people. In view of this, it is not easy for me to live to this day.

……

Dad, I have been scavenging for more than 20 years, and now the TV station has been reporting my affairs. I came up with a famous life that would be better. Alas, it's still the same as before. No one will worship me for my fame.

Dad, I'm retired. To tell the truth, the pressure of life has not decreased ... because of the house, they (relatives) hate me and don't come to help me. I've always done it myself, and I haven't humiliated the Liu family.

There is only one thing I don't want to hide from your parents. I like women's clothes ... maybe it's morbid, but they also say it's a release from life. Well, that's all. I'll send you this letter from home.

I hope you know something underground. Forgive me. "

When Liu read this letter, his face was expressionless and his tone was calm.

He is very calm, as if he had experienced a long and tortuous life.

The river of life, with all people running forward.

However, after the winter of 2020, will the spring that belongs to Liu come?