At that time, I said, "son, mom is glad that you can share this problem with her, but now your main task is to study." Will falling in love at this age affect your study? You think you don't need your parents' money to study at school, do you? "My friend is very dissatisfied with my answer, but to be honest, I really haven't considered this question. I feel that ten years is a big period. I want to pay attention to the current problem. For example, within three years or a year, I want to refine my goals and approach them step by step, instead of simply planning for a long time, which is difficult to achieve. I have been practicing paying attention to the present now, and I don't want to add some burdens to myself with things that will happen for a long time for no reason. My friends thought that I had no plan and foresight, and then I argued over several opinions and broke up in discord.
Later, after I calmed down, I really thought about this problem seriously. If I really encounter this problem, how should I answer the child and communicate with the child? In fact, this is not only a question of whether you can make money, but also a question of how to love children, do a good job of parent-child communication, and how to guide children to fall in love positively. My answer at that time was not enough, it was too arbitrary. Of course, it may be counterproductive. I tried, with my only knowledge, to love my child, to communicate with him, and made a simulated dialogue. I combed the specific dialogue, and the content is as follows. I hope my friends will give me more supplements.
Son: Mom, I talked about a girlfriend. Can you give me more money as a love fund?
Me: Mom is glad that you can share your little happiness and secrets with her, and I am also glad that you are willing to take the initiative to ask her for help when you are in trouble. It's really great.
Son: Thank you, Mom. I want you to give me some money.
Me: OK, son, before giving the money, mom wants to have a word with you, OK?
Son: Of course.
Me: Do you know why mom sent you to college?
Son: Why? Isn't it just going to college? Now all the children have gone to school.
Me: Yes, everyone is at school. At that time, my parents had no conditions and didn't go to college. You see, now our life is at the bottom. So if you have the conditions, you must go to college. I hope your future will be better.
Son: I know. Can I get along well in college? Not necessarily.
Me: It may not be good to go to college, but there is great competition now. We have to learn more knowledge to prepare for entering the society in the future. You can live the life you want, have a happy family, stay with the person you love and give her a good material foundation, so that your marriage will be more stable and happiness will last longer.
Son: But all my classmates are in love? I also met a girl I like. She's really nice and cute.
Me: Mom has already felt your love for her. Of course, mom doesn't object to your falling in love. It's just that you should have realized that love needs time, energy and financial resources. Are you ready?
Son: Yes, my monthly living expenses are 1500. You can make up more for me, so that I can save money.
Me: Mom gave you living expenses, but there was no love fund. According to you, if you want to scrimp and eat in love, can you still study? Can you still live a good life?
Son: So I need my mother to give me more money.
? Me: Son, you are eighteen years old and an adult. You are in love. So you've grown up? Then you must be responsible for your girlfriend. As the saying goes, feelings that are not for the purpose of marriage can be hooligans. Will you get married? Have you decided to be responsible for her? Mom sent you to college in the hope that you can receive a higher education, hold your head high and be a decent boy in the future.
Son: I like her. She likes me. Of course I will be responsible for her. We'll get married.
Me: Good. With this awareness, my mother thinks that you are a responsible and good boy, and my mother feels very happy. Just, what happiness do you give her, and what makes you think you can give her a happy home in the future? Can you build a marriage with a material foundation?
Son: Well, I will look for a job after graduation. At that time, we will work together and make a fortune together.
Me: Well, work, yes, but as you can see, the competition is so fierce now, how many children can't find a job after graduating from college and have to rely on their parents to support them. Such old-fashioned people have always annoyed you. If you want to be self-reliant, the premise is that you must have enough knowledge reserves now, find a good job, earn a future life guarantee, and give it to a good girl who will accompany you all your life.
Son: That's right. What should I do now?
Me: You can choose to be responsible for it yourself. At least you have to bear a heavy burden, and your parents will give you some subsidies. It's not a man's job to fall in love entirely by your parents giving you money. Of course, you can earn your own scholarship as a love fund, or you can earn your own money in your spare time.
Me: Of course, you can also choose to scrimp and save, enjoy a temporary love happiness, and finally graduate and live at the bottom of society. Do you think you want to?
Son: That won't do.
Me: The reality at present is that love alone cannot bear the future and support a family. You have nothing, no good job, no good income, and live a low life. Which girl will live with you like this? Do you want your girl to suffer with you? Mom's not trying to scare you, it's reality.
Son: What should I do? I really like her.
Me: Mom, I believe you have the answer.
Son:. . . . .
Son: Mom, I'll talk to her. We will try our best to concentrate on studying together, make progress together and create a beautiful family together.
Me: Son, it's really great. Mom, I'm glad you have such an understanding. Remember to call your mother when you are in trouble.