I never worry about anything. I was thinking at a young age that I must not be a person I hate. However, the pressure of life is enormous, and my face is gradually no longer simple. My parents are also human beings, and they used to be young people with rich collagen, colorful white dresses and dreaming at the sky. In an era of more material scarcity, we put up with hardships and scrimp, ignore our own growth or desire to appeal, and strive to bring up more than one child.
People nowadays don't like raising children, no matter how hard it is.
because I gave everything I could, but I didn't say what I gave up, my ability was limited, which made children think that food and clothing were all from the sky. If they couldn't get it, they would look up at the sky at a 45-degree angle. In children's cognition, I have to leave what others have, and what others have money to buy, our family must buy me the same thing, which is what they think is fair. They don't understand that the so-called career success requires ability, IQ, personality and opportunity. This unsatisfied desire has become a subconscious resentment. Although it is the absence of parents' psychological guidance, it is actually the only way for young people to know and think about the world. Therefore, children who grow up in this way may have a certain sense of aggression or inferiority in interpersonal communication at first, but with a deep understanding of life, they will eventually understand their parents and make up their minds to guide their children well in the future.
However, there are still some people who have not got rid of this resentment in the process of growing up alone. Since childhood, their unsatisfied desires have become a debt to their parents forever, and they have not lived alone without painful thinking, and they have not been weaned ideologically. It is wrong to ask for anything without giving it. My parents' house, land and savings will be theirs sooner or later, so it is better to give them early. I believe that with these, I will be able to achieve something. What are you dreaming about? Some people don't have the ability. Some people have started to work at the age of 18 to repay their student loans, and some people have to go home at the age of 5 to drive the old people out of their houses.
I don't deny that some specific problems need to be analyzed in detail, but most parents do their best to protect a child, which is really something that children need to pay back all their lives. However, why do parents want to add chaos to their children? Now, the pressure of life is so great that parents who care about their children are still looking for jobs to make money, supplement their children and reduce the burden after retirement. If you are also a worrywart, you can take out a little income every month from now on, deposit fund insurance for your parents and have regular physical examination as funds to take care of them in the future, even if you send them to a nursing home in the future. If you feel that your resistance to stress is very low, you will have a headache if you think about the future. From now on, you should cultivate your resistance to stress, remind them to pay attention to their health, and learn how to love and express love. Love is not accompanied by parents when they are sick, but embodied in life.
At the same time, you should start saving some money for your old age. Otherwise, your children will ask you the same question in the future. Will the old man live long? Do you think he's implying something?
It is not necessarily a blessing for the elderly to live too long. I quite agree with this view! My next-door neighbor is 93 years old this year, which is an example.
grandpa's family always has five daughters and two sons. Before the age of 8, my uncle had a good life. At that time, the sons and daughters were also in their prime of life, and the two sons gave the elderly some food on time every month. The uncle planted some vegetables near his home, and the aunt raised some chickens, ducks and geese. She was self-sufficient, healthy and able to take care of herself, and lived a leisurely life.
The five daughters of Grandpa's family are not far away from each other, either in the same village or in the village next door. The five daughters are also very filial. Almost every day, one or two daughters come to see them, and they never go empty-handed, eating, drinking and wearing, and fruits and snacks are never broken. As soon as they come back, they help their parents to wash and rinse everywhere.
In those years, grandsons and granddaughters of grandfathers came to see the elderly every day. Every day, grandfathers' home was full of excitement, and it was never cold and cheerless, so it was considered that they enjoyed their old age! Every day, uncles and aunts smile. At that time, our neighbors and children also liked to go to their house to play. Every time they went to auntie, they would grab a melon seed candy and give us a snack.
After the age of 8, Auntie died in less than a year because of illness. Since then, my uncle has lived alone. At that time, he was still sober and could cook something for himself. In the next three years, my eldest daughter in her 5 s got cancer, which was found in the middle and late stages and died a year later. Two years later, the uncle's third daughter was also diagnosed with cancer, and she survived for more than three years and left.
slowly, with the passage of time, my grandsons and grandsons have all grown up, all of them have married in big cities and have their own children. The eldest son has two sons, and a husband and wife go to one son's house to help take care of their grandchildren. At this time, the second daughter is also over 6 years old and almost 7 years old. She is in poor health and has to be taken care of by her children. The fourth daughter also has two sons, who also went to big cities to take their grandchildren for many years. The fifth daughter later went to Beijing for business, and her children also went to school in Beijing, so it is impossible to come back often in a year.
At last, there was only one young son, who was in his early fifties and worked as a teacher in a high school in our county. Because he got married late, his son just turned 18, so the task of taking care of his uncle basically fell on him. However, living with the elderly, because of their different living habits and concepts, plus they are all in charge of the family, after a long time, their hearts are beginning to be unbalanced. Why do you let my family take care of everything, and the old people don't have to take care of anything. The little daughter-in-law started to quit, and the younger son said it was my father. How could I care? In order to make trouble at home, the little daughter-in-law finally returned to her mother's house, saying that she would not come back until the old man left, or she would divorce directly.
finally, the old man couldn't stand it anymore, and asked to go back to his hometown. Now the two sons have hired a person in the village to take charge of the uncle's three meals a day
the last time I went back to my hometown, I met my grandfather walking trembling on crutches. I used to say "hello" to him, but my uncle didn't recognize me, and he kept asking me whose child I was ... It's so sad to see such an uncle, and it's really pitiful to be old. I almost couldn't hold back my tears.
I think when people live in it runs in the family, they are in good health and can take care of themselves. In the future, children are old, even before you. With the fourth generation, the relationship is getting farther and farther, and children have to take care of their children. At this time, you have slowly lost your ability to take care of yourself, and your life is in a daze. There is no quality of life at all! So people don't live long, but live with dignity and meaning!
When my great grandfather was 98 years old, his children were full of children and filial piety. However, after the Spring Festival reunion, he ended his life with a pair of autumn trousers.
Grandfather raised 1 children in his life. His first wife gave birth to twins, and a son and a daughter died in childbirth. Later, he married a wife with two daughters, and the second wife gave birth to three children and three daughters.
one * * * Si Er and six women. At that time, the days were very sad, but the couple survived such a heavy burden. The family style was simple and the children were very sensible. Although some brothers and sisters were half-brothers, some were half-brothers, and some were half-brothers, they all got along well.
But since Grandpa was 6 years old, he has been suffering from the loss of his loved ones. Because of the large number of children and grandchildren, children, children's partners, grandchildren's children and grandchildren's children, some died naturally and some died young.
When he was 6 years old, he sent his eldest son away, which was left by his first wife. His son was 41 years old and died of illness. He was greatly hit, and he often went to his grave to sit and coo. For him, this son was particularly different. The son that his first wife bought with his life was also the greatest psychological comfort for him in the years before he married his second wife. Although just ordinary people, there is no succession to the throne in the family, the eldest son's position in a father's heart is still very different.
Although he has a large group of younger generations, after the death of his eldest son, his spirit is obviously poor and he doesn't like to talk in front of people.
Because there are many grandchildren and more great-grandchildren, several great-grandchildren are born every year, which is full of happy events. Of course, there are many more bad things than other families, such as the death of children. He experienced the death of his great-grandchildren several times. Every time, he said, "God is blind and took the wrong person. Why didn't he take me away and bring me back with another child?"
By the time he was in his eighties, his wife had gone and two daughters had died. Although he is in good health, the children don't trust him to live alone and insist on taking turns to provide for the elderly. Our daughter's pension is not popular there, and the three sons take turns, but the daughters are very filial and will take him to live regularly.
There are also many grandchildren who have made great achievements in college. They have mixed up with people in the city and brought him a lot of rare things such as holidays, red envelopes, gifts and rare things that are rare in the countryside. Neighbors say he is really a happy old man.
Four generations live under one roof, with many descendants, a good family atmosphere and love for each other. However, he often sighs and talks about the child who left first, saying that he sent a white-haired man with black hair like this, which was a sin in his last life and was punished by God.
no matter how others advised him, he couldn't get over the fact that his child died first.
When he was 9 years old, he collapsed in bed after a stroke. At this time, his second son had chronic cor pulmonale, and he was often so breathless that he couldn't move freely. He couldn't take care of him at all. The children all went to work in the city, so he could only take care of his third and fourth sons.
Although the daughters are not responsible for taking care of them, they try their best to take money and things, and go back to their parents' home every three to five times to help the elderly wash.
For many years, some children have contributed and some have paid. Whoever has a hard time will give less, while those who have a good life will give more. Everyone is in harmony and has never had any conflicts for providing for the elderly.
Compared with other families, whoever gets an extra bag of wheat and keeps it for an extra day quarrels with each other. Grandpa is really happy in his later years.
However, since he was lying in bed, Grandfather always showed the intention of suicide. He had to go on hunger strike several times, but he was given infusion by doctors, persuaded and finally compromised.
Until he was 98 years old, Grandpa was taken care of properly, because the third and fourth sons were born last, and they were younger, so they had enough energy to take care of the elderly, and their daughters-in-law were also filial.
However, after the Spring Festival that year, all the children who came home for reunion left their hometown. One morning, when the daughter-in-law got up in the morning and served the old man food, she found that the old man's body slipped to the ground, but his head was hanging over the bed, and he was dead.
It turns out that the old man hung himself on the bedside with long trousers, slipped his body and left like this.
The sons and daughters are heartbroken. It's reasonable to say that they live to be 98 years old, but the way the old man walks is really unacceptable. People who don't know the truth think that the old man has been abused.
Fortunately, no one will misunderstand. Their family members are famous for their filial piety, and they have always been regarded by the villagers as models for young people to learn.
why is the old man so determined to leave by himself?
1: Since he was 6 years old, he has been sending away one life after another, including his friends, his partners, his children and his grandchildren. For the elderly, it is the most difficult person to accept that a white-haired person sends a black-haired person, but he has to accept these saddest things again and again.
2: The loss of self-care ability after the stroke also made him lose interest in life, and he didn't want to involve his children. He tried to kill himself more than once, but his son stopped him. For the disabled elderly, living is suffering, and children are accompanying sin.
3: From the old people's own point of view, it's enough to live so big. Life is 7 years old, and it's time to go. He often says that God is punishing him if he doesn't take him away.
The end of life is always bleak. Whether in the animal kingdom or human beings, it is not necessarily a blessing for the elderly to live too long. Many elderly people do not want to live too long, at least they do not want to live until their sons die first.
The loss of children in old age is one of the great tragedies in life, and it is often difficult for the elderly who live too long to avoid this great tragedy. Especially for the elderly with many children like grandpa, longevity means watching their relatives die first, which is an unacceptable pain for the elderly.
Especially in the late stage of disability, the elderly are full of guilt for their sons, and feel that they should not be involved with their children alive.
how long is it appropriate for the elderly to live? Although throughout the ages, there are many people who are afraid of the dead, and there are also a few who practice alchemy in order to live forever, but imagine how terrible it is for a person to live forever. All relatives and friends have no friends, and the world is a brand-new world.
In my opinion, it is good for the elderly to live to an appropriate age, and what kind of age is appropriate:
1. Don't live longer than children and grandchildren. It's best not to bear the pain of losing a child. In our hometown, it is said that it is sinful for children to die before the old man, and it is their duty to give up the old man's pension. If they don't finish it, they will die before the old man, and they will go to another world with sin. The loss of children often makes the rest of the elderly very sad.
2. The long-term survival of the disabled elderly is too heavy a burden for a family, but the quality of life is extremely poor for the elderly themselves, and it is of little value and significance to continue their lives for several years.