School bullying, an eternal campus problem, is a long-standing phenomenon on campus. Many children have been bullied or are afraid of being bullied. According to the "Prevention and Control Survey of school bullying City, Taiwan Province Province" conducted by Children Welfare League in 20 18, over 70% of children have been exposed to school bullying, among whom 6 have been bystanders, nearly 20% have been bullied, nearly 10% have bullied others and nearly 10% have been bullied. According to the survey of Children's Attitudes and Actions of Self-protection published by tfcf 2065 438+09, more than 30% of children are afraid of being bullied, but only 22% of parents know that their children are being bullied outside (for details, please refer to the survey of taking care of children at home: more than 30% of children are afraid of being bullied at school, and only 20% of parents feel abnormal). These surveys show that bullying is not something that only a few people encounter.
In order to create a friendly learning environment, the Ministry of Education has designated the first week of each semester as "Friendly Campus Week" since 20 1 1, and plans to carry out a series of activities. However, after these activities, school bullying still emerges one after another. For example, small groups on campus use classmates' toothbrushes to clean toilets, abuse classmates they don't like online, "crowd out" classmates in joint classes, and even restrict personal freedom. Because of the progress of science and technology, the first-hand scene of bullying is vividly presented to you and me in the network age.
Children's interpersonal relationships in their growth are not treated well, just like some kind of defect in personality development, which is not only a campus problem, but also a social problem.
What is bullying? There is a limit to joking. Luo Yijun, a parent expert, said: "Frustration in interpersonal relationships should not be regarded as bullying, but should help children develop their interpersonal skills; Joking "is not bullying if it is acceptable to both sides, but there should be a limit to joking." If you bully others for a long time and cause physical and mental harm to others, that is bullying!
There are six common bullying behaviors: relationship bullying, verbal bullying, physical bullying, sexual bullying, counterattack bullying and cyber bullying. Victims and bullies are usually accompanied by unequal factors such as "power" or "size" and dare not resist.
Well-known Youtuber Adi once shared that when he was in high school, his face was always red because of allergic dermatitis, which was more serious when he was nervous, so all the male students in his class nicknamed him Guan Gong. "Although it's just a harmless joke, it makes me feel inferior. Some children don't know the boundaries of practical jokes and the dangers of giving a person a nickname. They think joking can show a sense of humor, but it hurts their classmates invisibly.
Who are easy to be bullied? Summarizing common cases, I found that the main reason for children being bullied is nothing more than: "different personalities." As far as the above Adi is concerned, the difference is that "the face is often red". According to the website of the Cultural and Educational Foundation of the Child Welfare Alliance and the Kaohsiung Education Bureau's Handbook on Promoting school bullying Prevention and Control, the following personality traits are classified as "more vulnerable to bullying":
1. Those who are passive, negative or weak in interpersonal communication or social life circles.
2. Introverted, shy, sensitive or with obvious emotional reaction.
Physiologically, they are short in stature, slow in development or physically disabled.
In addition, there is another kind of children who "behave well and often publish articles in class, which is easy to be classified as' good students'". See more: because of my excellent grades, I began to choose to keep my mouth shut in front of everyone.
The most terrible thing is that bullied children tend to blame themselves, thinking that they are bullied because they are too ugly, too fat, inarticulate, poor in popularity, poor in homework, or choose to hide themselves to protect themselves: "As long as I don't behave too much, they won't come to trouble!" No matter what reason your child is bullied, please remind him gently and firmly: "that is your best and most special place." You are unique and irreplaceable. 」
Why is there school bullying? Researcher Wu Qiyin of Academia Sinica observed from a sociological point of view that bullying behavior is not necessarily caused by the heinous crimes committed by the victims, but a group of uneasy children. They are afraid of loneliness and unaccompanied, and they don't know how to respect their peers with different personalities, so they strive for their sense of identity in the group and "social status" in the micro-society of "class" by "constantly hurting others". In other words, bullying is actually imitating the social behavior of adults stepping on others to climb up. (See: Sociological View of Juvenile Bullying: As Cruel as Palace Fighting)
School bullying also reflects peer pressure among teenagers. According to the global survey released by OECD in 20 17, "bullying is the main source of stress for teenagers". In adolescence when friends are most needed, "a sense of belonging to a group and a strong social connection" is more important than anything else. This is why children are bullied, but they often say, "I can't resist, I'm afraid they don't like me."
Observing the similar bullying situation of the children in the class, the teacher of kk School in Dongmen Primary School in Hsinchu felt: "In fact, we are all' conniving' at behaviors that we don't like at all, but we dare not say' no! See more: in the face of bullying, say "no" at the first time! 」 )
School bullying's influence on children Some children are lucky, can face and accept themselves calmly, and are often more likely to be accepted by the group in the end; Some turn to laugh at themselves, and sometimes they laugh at themselves too much in a self-dwarfing way, as if a comedian wanted to win applause during the exam. This kind of child is also distressing.
Some children shrink into their own world, more afraid of facing people, and don't like talking with people; The last one is the last thing we want: to protect ourselves and become an accomplice to bullying. (See more: Choices after Bullying)
There is bullying on campus. What should the school do? The school bullying incident should be confirmed by the school's response team to prevent school bullying. However, Wang Meien, a lecturer in the Department of Social Work at Soochow University, believes that if bullying is dealt with only after it happens, the effect is limited. We should adopt a "prevention is more important than treatment" approach to detect and intervene when the initial hostile behavior occurs to avoid future conflicts.
Schools should also shoulder the responsibility of education and let children know that serious bullying may involve criminal law and should not be careless. For example, the Law on the Handling of Minors' Events stipulates that "those who are over 7 years old and under 12 years old can be given" protective punishment "and those who are over 12 years old and under 18 years old can be given" criminal responsibility "according to the nature of the case. 」
What should parents and teachers do? Parenting experts advise you. Wang Meien also mentioned that teachers are the key figures to prevent bullying. It is necessary to understand the characteristics of children and the "group motivation" of the class, such as who is the leader and who is the dependent, the interpersonal relationship and network between classes ... and find a way suitable for the class to manage a warm, supportive and tolerant culture. In other words, "class atmosphere" is the key to prevent bullying. According to the Children's League 20 19 survey on parents' cognition and attitude towards bullying in Taiwan Province province, more than 90% of parents are worried about their children being bullied, and more than 80% think that bullying is a serious problem in Taiwan Province province, but13 of parents have never discussed bullying with their children.
Both parents and teachers play an important role in accompanying children to grow up. When discussing this topic, it is suggested that parents and teachers can refer to the following practices:
For "bullied" children:
Understanding and companionship are the reassurance to cure children.
Keep communicating, but don't be afraid that your child will be unhappy. (See more: accompany children and release negative emotions)
Avoid causing secondary injuries. (Read more: Please don't say these words to your child when he is facing "relationship bullying")
Pay attention to the harm of improper corporal punishment to the mind. Read more: the teacher's verbal threats are the real horror for children.
Teach children to decompose bullying confidently. See more: the person who bullies my child is actually her best friend! )
Encourage children to read: immerse themselves in books and settle their overwhelmed hearts. (For details, see "The Book of Five Instincts to Make You Feel Better in the Face of Bullying")
For the children of bullies:
When a child is bullied, we will first think of punishing the bully or letting the child leave such an environment, but forget to deal with the feelings and thoughts of the bullied person, which may lead to more troublesome results!
They also need company.
Stop condemning and avoid saying, "How could you? 」
Take the children to think clearly: Is the prank the original intention? I'm just playing with him. Is it that serious? )
Understand the emotional language behind bullying. Read more: please believe that no child wants to be a bully! )
Understand the gender differences behind relationship bullying. (Read more: Why are girls more likely to be bullied? )
Accompany children to find the right way to relieve their emotions.
Take children to understand and respect everyone's differences.
On "bystanders" in bullying incidents;
"I can only pretend not to see! What if they attack me instead? " -Observer A
"I don't know how to help him. Will my warning make him more bullied? " -spectator b
"If I can do it all over again, I believe I will bravely jump out and let my classmates really understand each other in my language, instead of believing her words with weak brain waves"-Princess-youtube * * * *
This is the common aspiration of the onlookers. In the face of restless children, teachers can guide them like this:
Give children a sense of security that feels the same. (See more: every child may become a "black sheep" who is bullied)
Let the "goodwill alliance" forces rise and prevent potential xenophobia. (See: Bullying Event, Starting from "Micro-Crowding")
Encourage children to stand up and let the bullied people know that they are not alone. See more: bullies, bystanders and bullied people all need the courage to be hated.
Take children to appreciate their differences. (See More: The Ability to Make Differences Popular)
Yi, an expert in parenting education, said that it is very important to maintain parent-child communication during adolescence. "Don't let children think you are scolding them. Let the children talk to you with confidence, and then you can teach them how to protect themselves. In terms of teachers and students, it is also necessary to maintain harmonious interaction so that problems can be found immediately when there is a slight abnormality (see more: harmonious feelings between teachers and students and parents and children are the basis for children's happiness. ) chat with children more! Observe the child's reaction and don't let the child become the next victim.