Dear friends, are there any good jokes?

1. A puppy crossed the desert. It brought enough water and food, but it died in the desert. Excuse me, how did it die?

the answer is: I didn't find the telephone pole, and I was suffocated.

2. Another puppy crossed the desert. He learned from his companions' lessons, brought enough water and food, and found a telephone pole. However, he died in the desert. Excuse me, how did you die?

a: the telephone pole is upside down.

3. The third puppy crossed the desert. He brought enough water and food and found the telephone pole. The telephone pole was vertical, but he still died in the desert. Excuse me, how did you die?

a: there are many puppies waiting in line in front of the telephone pole. it didn't get on the wheel and suffocated.

4. The fourth puppy crossed the desert. He brought enough water and food and found the telephone pole. The telephone pole was vertical and no other puppies were waiting in line, but the dog also died in the desert. Excuse me, how did you die?

A: There is a dog charging by the telephone pole. It only brought water and food, but no change, so ...

5. The fifth dog crossed the desert, and it brought enough water and food. Found the telephone pole, the telephone pole was vertical, and no other puppies were waiting in line, and no dog was charging there. However, the dog died in the desert. Excuse me, how did you die?

a: there is a piece of paper on the telephone pole, which says: it is forbidden to urinate here!

a: I'll give you a debut topic.

You say it!

a: a drunk, hitting an animal

b: it's quite difficult

a: it's a rabbit (vomiting)

b: yes

a: I'll give you another one, and another drunk is drunk

b: it's still a rabbit

a: it's a rabbit (vomiting, too).

The student said, "Seven!"

The teacher asked again in confusion: "If I give you 1, 2 and 3 dogs respectively, how many dogs do you have?"

The student still said, "Seven!"

The teacher refused to give up and decided to ask in another way: "If I give you 1 bottle, 2 bottles and 3 bottles of wine respectively, how many bottles of wine do you have?"

The student said, "Six bottles!"

The teacher said, "Great! The same reason can be proved. I'll give you one, two and three respectively, so how many dogs do you have? "

The student said, "Seven!"

The teacher can't stand it: "You are a pig! How did you figure out seven! "

The student replied slowly, "My family already has a dog. If you give me six, then there will be seven." ！”

A little turtle built a house and moved in-covered with a middle cover

Little turtle demolished the house and built a new one-covered with a middle cover

Little turtle demolished the house and built a third one-covered with giant energy

The interviewer gave a resume to a man who came to apply, so the man filled in this information-< p

height: does this have anything to do with work?

weight: it changes at any time, and it is different before and after meals.

Place of residence: It is a special place, the stage of my life.

telephone: Ericsson mobile phone.

email: only for beautiful and rich girls.

working hours: the shorter the better.

applied position: find a position that can be surrounded by beautiful women without doing anything practical.

education: graduated from a university you can't find.

Language ability: Talking about mountains is a specialty.

interest: sleeping in the dark.

birthday: the seventh day of the first month.

experience: dance academy.

previous position: senior or junior is an experience.

Married and unmarried: I am looking for a beautiful and rich girl, hoping to find one in your company.

Future expectation: I am only responsible for the podium speech and hope to retire as soon as possible.

hope treatment: just take more than the actual workload.

name: taken by parents.

age: not young!

height: very tall.

weight: medium.

address: home.

phone: I have it with me.

e-mail: my friend applied for it for me.

working hours: 8 hours.

applied position: one.

education: if you graduate, you have a high school education.

language ability: yes.

interests: many.

birthday: it hasn't arrived yet!

experience: I fell down when I first came here!

previous position: I was a picket in primary school! One day, the devil took the princess away, and the princess kept yelling.

Devil: [Call your throat ... no one will come to save you ... ]

Princess: [Break your throat ... ]

Nobody: "Princess ... I'll save you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil ... Found .. "

Shit:" Ghost, you can see me ... "

Devil:" Oh,MyGod!

god: "who called me?

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

Nobody: "I didn't? Play dumb!

garlic: "who is pretending to be me?

who: "me again? Are you looking for trouble?

trouble: "which one wants to see me?

which one: looking for you? I didn't ... Gee, there are so many people here. "

Many people:" I just arrived. Who are you?

which one: "I'm not who."

Who: "He's not me."

Princess: "Is everyone here to save me?

Everyone: "I'm not here to save you, but to watch the fun."

Fun: "What am I looking at?

God: "It's none of my business, so go first."

Devil: "Why do so many people save the princess before you go? How can I play this demon king?

Go down: "You good devil won't do it, why should you play me?"

Princess: "If there is no one to play the devil, I can go."

No one: "If I play the devil, how can I let you go ..."

How can I: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the fun."

Fun: "What am I doing?"

what: you want to fuck me? Rogue!

how dare you: "I didn't?

me: "What's it to me?"

devil: "shit! I'm going crazy ... "

Shit:" What are you calling me for! ... "

Crazy:" What do you want me to do?

you want me to say, I don't know anything!

I don't know anything: "I don't know!

I don't know: I'm here! Is someone calling me?

someone said, "I didn't call you!

I didn't: "Who called him?

who: "wronged ... I didn't ..."

I didn't: "I didn't wronged you ..."

You: "I dare you."

I dare you: "Who said I didn't dare! ?

Who: "Please ... I didn't say anything"

I didn't say anything: "What do you want me to say?

I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?"

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my & is so long ... I will be called ..."

Who: "... I want to leave this place of trouble quickly"

Right and wrong: "So this is my place ..."

I have nothing & No: "Stop it, we're talking ..."

Stop it: "I'm not talking ..."

I'm not: "I'm not talking! ... "

I don't have anything:"-\ \ \ \ "... Let's talk outside ..."

Go: "I'm embarrassed ..."

I don't have anything: "It's none of your business ... Come on. Did someone call me?

Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."

Who said, "I really have to go ... t.t"

Go: "I'm really sorry ... * v.v *"

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?

It's none of my business: "... cousin ... long time no see ..."

Long time: "I was here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished?"

Endless: "He didn't have me"

You: "I didn't have him"

I did: "Who said that?

who: "why do you want me?

: You want to fuck me?

you: "I won't fuck him"

I will: "Who says I won't?

who: "wronged! I didn't say that. "

said," What do you want me to do?

: You two are shameless!

you two: "I want it! I want it!

face: "who wants me?

Who: "I don't want it"

Devil: "Hurry up, and I'm going to kick people out"

People: "Kick me out? Looking for k

k: Who is looking for me?

who: aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, and mention me again!

He: "Don't fuck with me"

I: "Who wants to fuck with me?

Who: "I finally caught one, kill it ..."

One: "Don't catch me"

I: "I've had enough, too. Whoever mentions my name again, I will never let you go!

who: "Look at my eighteen palms of dragon!

me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws!

eighteen palms of the dragon: "what am I looking at?

Jiuyin Bones Claw: What am I looking at?

What's to see: Brother, I finally found you!

What's so interesting: "Brother, let's go out and talk."

Devil: "Shit ... it's an betrothal meeting ..."

It is said that Devil got schizophrenia from then on.

Do you think this is the end of the joke? In fact, this means that people are lazy, and this has an ending! Now I'll tell you the ending, so don't be moved to tears!

Ending:

It is said that after the devil recovered from schizophrenia, he caught the princess again.

This time, in order to prevent other people from running out to spoil the situation again, the demon king decided to cut to the chase, make a long story short, and cut to the chase ...

The demon king said, "Stop struggling! Listen to me and marry me!

princess: "all right!

So "I" happily took the princess's hand into the wedding hall and accepted everyone's blessings, leaving only the demon king with his mouth open like a hippo and his body stupefied ... Scene 1 ]

Teacher: Honestly, do you smoke?

boy a: no.

teacher: no? Well, have a French fries.

a naturally held out two fingers and took it ...

Teacher: No smoking? ! Call the parents ...

[Scene 2 ]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

boy b: no.

teacher: no? Well, have a French fries.

b heard about A, so she carefully took the French fries with her palm.

teacher: won't you dip it in some ketchup?

b accidentally dipped too much, so he immediately flicked it with his fingers ...

Teacher: The posture of flicking ash is very skillful. Call the parents ...

[Scene 3 ]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

boy c: no.

teacher: no, ok, have a French fries.

because of the first two examples, c finished the French fries with sweat.

teacher: won't you take a root home for your classmates?

c took the French fries and put them in his ear ...

Teacher: No smoking? Call the parents ...

[Scene 4 ]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

boy d: no.

teacher: good. have a French fries.

d ate the French fries in fear.

teacher: won't you take a root home for your classmates?

d carefully put the French fries in his upper pocket again.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming!

d quickly took the French fries out of his pocket and threw them on the ground, stomping on them with his feet ...

Teacher: No smoking? ! Call the parents ...

[Scene 5 ]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy E: No,

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

e just took the French fries, and the teacher said, won't you invite me to eat?

e hurriedly handed the French fries with both hands, and then took out a lighter ...

Teacher: No smoking? ! Call the parents

[ Scene 6 ]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

boy f: no.

Teacher: Eat French fries

After the boy F finished eating, the teacher asked: What brand do you like to eat?

The boy F proudly said: Of course: Greater China!

teacher: call my parents!

[ Scene 7 ]

Teacher: Eat French fries.

boy n: thank you, no.

the teacher fainted. Philosophical examination questions

A teacher of philosophy department only took one question in the mid-term exam.

The topic is "What is courage?"

Just when everyone was desperately trying to figure out how to write something ...

A classmate handed in his paper ... He didn't write a word!

But he wrote only five words, "This is courage!"

absolutely! The teacher gave him full marks.

but it's definitely in the back.

it's finally the final exam. The teacher still only takes one test.

The topic this time is "This is the topic, please give an answer"

Isn't this strange enough? Everyone still can't write

, but the student will hand in the paper soon

What did he write this time?

He wrote, "This is the answer, please give points …"

The teacher was so angry that he became angry and called,

"Boy, that's awesome! Come here, I have two questions for you. If you answer the first question, you don't have to answer the second ... "< P > Teacher:" How many hairs do you have? "

Classmate: "123,61 pieces"

Teacher: "How do you know?"

classmate: "You don't have to answer this question"

He got full marks in the final exam again!

the answer that can piss off the teacher!

Topic: While ...

Student: He undressed and put on pants.

comment: does he want to take it off or wear it?

Topic: Among them,

Student: One of my left feet is injured.

comment: are you a centipede?

topic: one after another